Tag: 2026

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) Movie Review- Saved By Yoshi

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When The Super Mario Bros Movie came out around this time in 2023, I was generous enough to give it a free pass. Yes, it was fan service galore and had as much substance as a happy meal from McDonalds but it was cute and a faithfully surface level adaption of the gaming plumber bros we all know and love while working well enough as a simple story about the powers of brotherhood and how being small can actually be cool sometimes. And with the way the post credit scene gave a glimpse of the potential arrival of Yoshi for the sequel, you would think Illumination would follow through on that teaser by continuing to expand upon this cinematic world with yet another basic and direct adaption of the classic 2D Mario games (most notably Super Mario World) and call it day. However, it seems as though Nintendo and the Minions company had other plans.

Instead, the cast and crew are looking to take things 10X further and jump straight to Super Mario Galaxy! Not only acting as an adaption of some of the most beloved video games of all time but also introducing many more fan favorite characters such as Yoshi, Bowser Jr. & Rosalina (We’ll get to here LATER!), double down on all of the easter eggs, callbacks, references, and even some surprise cameos from not just Mario but also other known Nintendo franchises, AND also acting as a celebration of 40 years of the Super Mario Bros franchise. Oh, and also are looking to do all of this in the spam of just 90 minutes because….god forbid we let children watch a movie that’s more than 90 minutes in the year of our lord and savior 2026!

If what I just told you makes the movie sound too crowded and overstuffed and gives the impression that the actual Galaxy elements feels like an complete afterthought, you would be 100% correct. If this all sounds like The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is nothing more than one brief sugar rush that feels more like a collection of cutscenes, gameplay videos, and YouTube shorts of the very best Mario games compiled together than an actual feature film, you would be 100% correct. If that all sounds up your alley, then it will be up your alley. If that sounds like a miserable nightmare to you, then this will be a miserable nightmare for you. But there is one thing everyone will agree on, at least it has Yoshi in it! And Yoshi makes EVERYTHING better!

Premise: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie follows Mario (Chris Pratt), Luigi (Charlie Day), Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), and newcomer Yoshi (Donald Glover) as they journey into outer space to rescue Princess Rosalina (Brie Larson) from Bowser Jr. (Benny Safdie). Bowser Jr. captures her to harness her power to fuel a super-weapon, free his imprisoned father Bowser (Jack Black), and conquer the galaxy.

Now, I know what everyone and their Yoshi is about to type away in the comments, “IT’S A MARIO MOVIE! OF COURSE THE PLOT IS GOING TO BE SIMPLE AND STRAIGHT FORWARD! WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING, FAM?!” But, I have a PERFECT counter argument to that!

While, YES, the first Mario movie (and most Mario games in general) did have a very simple and straight forward plot, you could at least follow what’s going on and mostly can summarize what happens in the story in one or two sentences. It was a classic Mario tale with a few new modern tweaks to it about a plumber from Brooklyn going on a journey with a powerful princess to save his brother from the clutches of an evil dinosaur and save a magical kingdom on top of that. Was it great storytelling? Heck no! But it was easy enough to understand and get behind without too much hassle!

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie doesn’t so much have a simple and straightforward plot but rather no plot to speak of. It’s jampacked with so many different characters, coincidences, and contrivances strung together, trying desperately to gloss over any glaring structural issues and give you the impression that it’s perfectly acceptable storytelling…..just because it’s Mario. There’s no coherent end goal, no fully realized character arcs are given time to flesh out, and there’s not a single moment where you will find something you didn’t already find in any other form of Mario media. It’s all about getting certain characters from Point A to Point Z and checking off all the boxes that the filmmakers believe they need to check or else they will get hate mail thrown at them from hardcore Nintendo fanboys for the rest of eternity.

And even if you look at the film from an adaption of the much beloved Super Mario Galaxy, it’s not a very good one. While the Galaxy features does help showcases some of the most gorgeous animation and impressive set pieces that Illumination Animation has EVER shown on the big screen, it’s only faithful on the surface level and NOWHERE else. The Lumas don’t serve much purpose other than being cute little star children that will make for great merchandise to sell and the traveling through planets sequences only exist to get characters from one location to another, almost feeling like you could’ve replaced it with any other detour from any other game and there wouldn’t be much difference.

The most wasted element however has to go to Rosalina. Despite being a fan favorite character and casted by longtime Nintendo superfan Brie Larson (THE MVP of the film’s marketing btw), she barely has any presence in the actual movie. She only exists to be a plot device and be a driving force to motivate the main characters (mostly Peach) throughout the entire movie….and nothing else. There’s even a SUPER long stretch in the movie where the character doesn’t even get to appear on screen. If it wasn’t for the fact that the characters kept mentioning Rosalina by name during that long stretch, I would’ve COMPLETELY forgot she was even in the dang movie until the last 20 minutes.

While some would argue that Rosalina’s role in the Galaxy games were also in small doses, you at least felt her presence throughout the entire experience. You still had Mario checking in on her every now and then with friendly exchanges once you completed each world that made you remember she’s still around whenever you might’ve forgot where she was. Because The Super Mario Galaxy Movie doesn’t seem to be that interest in the Galaxy elements that it’s suppose to incorporate (until it suddenly does towards the tail end of the film), Rosalina ends up being casted away harder than even Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away!

It makes me wonder why Illumination thought they had to make Princess Peach a “girlboss” in the first movie because the damsel in distress trope is so problematic and outdated….only to then turn around and make Rosalina a damsel in distress in the very next movie. It’s like they just swapped the characterizations of Peach and Rosalina just because one might be more marketable than the other. (And don’t even get me started on the bizarre retcon between them that gave me the same reaction I had when it was revealed in the Wade Whipple show that Knuckles now has the flames of destr…..I mean disaster!)

On the other hand, at least they did my boy Yoshi justice. (And I’m not just saying that because I’m the biggest Yoshi shill in the world!) He has a very unique and welcome presence on screen with a surprisingly good vocal performance from Donald Glover (Easily the best “WTF!” casting in any movie since Vin Diesel as Groot!). He’s not treated like a dumb animal or an incompetent dog that Mario and Luigi has to take care off. He’s cute, funny, useful, resourceful, gets plenty of great moments, and he constantly proves throughout the movie that there is NOTHING he wouldn’t do for his friends. If there’s one thing that even the worst of Mario franchise gets right, it’s Yoshi and that is no exception here.

If we are to go more into the positives. The visuals are as amazing as they were the last time around, if not even better. There’s so many stunning sequences that you can tell the animators went to hell and back for to make them look as good as they did. The best moments are easily the ones where the characters are flying through outer space and any scenes that take place on the other planets separate from the Mushroom Kingdom. There’s so much love and care put into every single detail throughout the film that it makes you wish there was anywhere near as much passion from the writers of the film as there was from the animators.

The soundtrack from Bryan Tyler is still as stellar this time around with plenty of new and unique remixes to classic Mario toons, helping give the film it’s own unique beating heart and theme that you wouldn’t expect from a composer. The licensed music is (thankfully) used much more sparingly this time around and only when the scene absolutely calls for it, the voice cast are as adequate as they were before, and there is one surprise extended cameo, while gaining more screentime than Rosalina (Seriously, Illumination! WTF!), that makes me SLIGHTLY curious to see them in their own future film in the hands of a more capable studio (Please DreamWorks! Find a way to make it happen!).

Say what you will about the live-action Sonic the Hedgehog movies from Paramount but at least those films work perfectly well from a “have your cake and eat it too” perspective. They stand well enough as not just faithful adaptions of the games but also as cinematic experiences for mainstream audiences who are not aware of prior Sonic material. It’s got filmmakers who clearly have a huge passion for the speedy blue blur, doing everything they can to make each new installment better than the last one while addressing fan feedback and criticism in satisfactory ways.

With The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, it’s clear that Illumination cares more about milking as many sequels and spin-offs to beloved Nintendo properties as they can before the will runs dry instead of making movies that work in every way a video game adaption should. I will most certainly NOT say that the passion from the cast and crew aren’t there or they didn’t at least have a huge amount of fun in making these films, you just don’t get the sense that the higher ups at Illumination see this series as anything more than water down jokes and paper thin storylines for little kids and key jingling and nostalgia bait for grown adults. And….that kinda sucks.

But again…it does have Yoshi in it!

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is not trying to win anyone that wasn’t won over by the first film nor is it trying to make a new Mario fan out of anyone. It’s just trying to scratch the nostalgic itch out of longtime fans and scratch the easter family movie for kids that will drag their parents to see the film this weekend and nothing else. I just wish we can expect better from not just one of the most popular characters in all of gaming but children and family films in general. And considering, we currently have two other very good animated kids films in GOAT and Hoppers that are still playing in theaters right now, there simply shouldn’t be an excuse for this.

Still, I can’t say I was bored by the movie nor found anything overly offensive from it. And with all the chaos and mayhem that is going on in the world right now, it never hurts to be drowning in pure cartoon delight as pure escapism. And again, it has Yoshi in it! And Yoshi makes EVERYTHING better!

I sure can’t wait though until Sonic The Hedgehog 4 sidelines Amy Rose for 90% of the film and reveals she’s actually Sonic’s *SPOILER*, while giving more screentime to Ryo Hazuki of all characters. **

Unfortunately, Yoshi will NOT be there to save the day! (Or will he?!)

** That’s actually gonna happen in Sonic 4, isn’t it?! F**K!

Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026) Movie Review- Twice The Blondes, Double The Fun

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Sequels always have a daunting task! It has to offer everything that everyone loved about the original but deliver it in such a way that sets the second chapter apart from the first one! You have to give the audiences something familiar, throw in a few new elements for good measure, and cross that fine line between being the same but different without losing your balance. However, there are some sequels that benefit from staying right on that fine line with no means of trying to differentiate itself from the original or separating itself from it’s own formula, even if it does occasionally flirt with what it would do if it chose to cross that path. Since the new burger tasted so good the first time you had, why bother changing the ingredients when you have it a second time? And that is where sequels like Ready Or Not 2: Here I Come come in!

While it is no doubt more of the same and doesn’t even try to be as fresh as Radio Silence’s original magnum opus, it still contains most of the same old ingredients that audiences loved about the first movie with a few new elements sprinkled in that does enough to justify it’s existence. The cast is much bigger and adds more to the established lore of Ready or Not, there’s a much larger scope and more expansive setting to explore, there’s more bloody kills and guts spewing everywhere than before, and there’s even more beautiful blondes kicking butt this time around. It doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel nor is it trying to win over anybody that were not fans of the original. It just wants to have a gory, fun time and it certainly succeeds at that.

Premise: After surviving an all-out attack from the Le Domas family, Grace (Samara Weaving) discovers she’s reached the next level of the nightmarish game, and this time with her estranged sister, Faith (Kathryn Newton), by her side. To survive, Grace must keep Faith alive and claim the High Seat of the Council that controls the world. Four rival families are also hunting her for the throne, and whoever wins will rule it all.

Throughout Ready Or Not 2, directors Matt Bettinelli-Olphin and Tyler Gillett make it clear that their #1 goal with Here I Come is to have more fun this time around rather than trying to play a brand new game from seven years earlier. Going bigger, not bolder. Expand the mythos, not deepen them. Be with the grain, not against it. Deliver on expectations, not subvert them. (We even get to see Samara Weaving wearing the exact same bloody wedding dress she had in the first movie!) While that is certainly well and good because the duo are well aware of their own interests as well as the audiences, you can’t help but be mildly frustrated at the intriguing subtext and ideas that the film chooses to handwave.

The film states that the rich families that Grace and Faith are fighting against are these insane religious supremacy overlords that are using their money, wealth, and power to control all the world’s resources. And if they are not successful in killing Grace, then they will lose all of that money, wealth, power, and control over everything. Yet aside from an occasional line or two, Here I Come never really dives deep into that, feeling like it only exists to give the rich families new motives for needing to kill Grace.

And that is where the shortcomings for Ready or Not 2 come into place. Even though it’s longer than the first film and has more locations and set pieces than before, it wants to add more subtext and character dilemma than before. However, because the pacing is so break-neck and Bettinelli-Olphin and Gillett are in such a hurry to get from one glorious kill to the next, these moments never have time to breathe.

There’s the goals of the rich elites to control everything but it never goes into why they want to achieve these goals other than Satan told them so. You got a rivalry set-up between Grace and her ex-husband’s previous finance that doesn’t go anywhere aside from an awesome climatic fight between the two. You also got a sister bondship which includes scenes, while good and well-acted, forces the pacing of the film to come to a screeching halt and suspense of disbelief needed for these moments while the two girls are fighting for their lives. There’s these doors opens for Here I Come to be bolder and risker than the original but it’s clear the film would rather just close it and stay in the house that it’s clearly comfortable in.

Thankfully, none of that detracts from the entertainment value here because all of the successful elements that made the original Ready or Not so fun are still good here. The kills are fun, the blood and gore are turned up to 11, the set pieces and chase sequences, while extremely over-the-top and nonsensical, make for some of the film’s exciting and delightfully amusing moments, and the supporting cast all make for fine additions to these series of films, with the main highlights of the rich families being Sarah Michelle Gellar as the well-intentioned but morally handcuffed rich daughter, Elijah Wood as the straight as an arrow lawyer, and also whoever the heck that guy who was playing the Nintendo Switch 2 (Seriously, what’s his name?! I can’t find him on Google or Wiki!).

The real glue that holds Here I Come together is Samara Weaving and Kathryn Newton playing two long distanced sisters. Samara Weaving is able to kick just as much ass as she did the first time around (and does so in that same bloody dress) while being able to match every moment she can with her effortless charisma and mighty war scream (That NEVER get old!). Kathryn Newton, who has already proven herself to be a reliable Scream queen with Freaky and Abigail, has really sold chemistry with Weaving, really buying the core relationship between two sisters who thought they wanted nothing to do with each other but deep down they really do. Even if the more character driven moments between the two sisters did come at the expense of the film stopping dead in it’s tracks, the film wouldn’t have worked as well as it does if it weren’t for these two actresses trying to work out their problems with guns, swords, and pure wits.

Ready or Not 2: Here I Come is the textbook definition of a sequel that is basically, “What you see is what you get!” Do you want to see more heads and bodies exploding with creative and satisfying kills?! Do you want to see more gorgeous looking locations, well-suited costume designs, and a more expansive world to spend time in?! Do you want to just have fun for 105 minutes with two super hot blondes and the OG Buffy the Vampire Slayer?! If your answer is Yes to any of those, then I can’t see how you won’t enjoy another round with Radio Silence’s most unique original series to date.

As much as I can nitpick about the glossed over subtext and lore, that’s a small price to pay for everything else it does well. Is it more of the same? Sure? Does it taste just as good as the first time around even though you’ve already had it? Absolutely!

Scream 7 (2026) Movie Review- Weak And Stab-less

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Scream 7 is the first installment in this franchise that attempts to answer questions that it never really intended to when production first started. After Spyglass fired Melissa Barrera over “personal matters” and allowed Jenna Ortega and Happy Death Day director Christopher Landon to walk, this seven entry now finds itself addressing social commentary about what happens when a franchise royally s**ts the bed so hard that it has no choice but to bring back the legacy characters that everyone loves and lean balls deep into nostalgia. Unlike with most franchises that has to use that template because of past screw-ups in front of the camera, this film has to use that template because of past screw-ups BEHIND the camera! And oh man, are the results EMBRASSINGLY on screen!

Scream 7 plays like an apology letter to the franchise for excluding Sidney Prescott from the last movie and an outright hostile takeover (And I’m NOT just talking about the one which Paramount had just accomplished) of the previous two movies. Imagine if they made a fourth Creed movie that brought back Sylvester Stallone but left out Michael B Jordan and spend the entire runtime saying sorry for leaving Rocky out last time. This film is all about how great Sidney Prescott is, how the original movies with her are the best of the best, and how the previous two films felt more like Stab movies than Scream movies and…..basically nothing else.

The whole film has a choppy feel to it throughout it’s entire runtime, none of the returning characters or callbacks feel earned, the new characters that are introduced don’t make much of an impression, it brings up current topics that it has no business in exploring or commentating on, and it never fully justifies why Sidney Prescott is back at the forefront that makes the whole behind the scenes drama with Melissa Barrera feel worth it. While Neve Campbell is still as great as ever (and has aged like a FINE wine) and there a couple of solid kills scattered throughout, Scream 7 is the first installment in this beloved horror franchise that never seems like it has a stab point to make.

Premise: When a new Ghostface killer emerges in the town where Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) has built a new life, her darkest fears are realized as her daughter becomes the next target

As stated previously, the most tone deaf element of Scream 7 has to do with the handling of Sidney Prescott and why she’s the main focus once again. It plays in the exact same fashion as every other modern series when they feel the need to go into full course correction mode after previously divisive and/or poorly received installments (Anyone that is able to write a review for Scream 7 that does NOT mention The Rise of Skywalker gets an achievement unlocked!) sank its reputation and feels the need to address it.

The problem here is that Scream (2022) and Scream VI were NOT divisive and/or poorly received installments. Both installments got solid reviews and fan reception while making just as much money as you could make for this franchise. It was able to successfully pass the series baton to a new generation of Scream queens and actually bothering to blaze a path forward for this long-running horror franchise. It’s only because of studio politics that forced this film to have a massive half a million dollar rewrite and needing to pay Neve Campbell her due to come back. It’s not course correction because the previous two films that put the spotlight on Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega were rejected by the fandom or mainstream audiences, it’s course correction due to pure incompetence from Spyglass.

Thankfully, Neve Campbell still has it as Sidney Prescott. She has never given a half assed performance in any one of these movies and is still fully committed here. She is given an actual mother-daughter dynamic to play with this time around, an aspect that Scream (2022) absolutely hand-waved, with Isabel May (A.K.A. Tim McGraw’s daughter in 1883 and 1923) as Sid’s daughter, Tatum (Try not to think too much about the Scream timeline to avoid a brain malfunction). It’s during these moments where the film become the closest to have an actual beating heart to it and gets the best performances out of these two.

Unfortunately, the film can never escape the stormy raincloud that has been raining above it since the departure of Melissa Barrera. The absence of the Carpenter sisters is never addressed and you could almost swear you can swap these characters with two other ones in the movie and nothing much change. You can just put Sam in the same role as Tatum and Tara in the same role as Mckenna Grace’s character or Michelle Randolph’s (A.K.A. Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter in Landman) character in the opening sequence and you basically get the exact same movie. I don’t mean to harp on the studio politics surrounding Scream 7 too much but it just goes to show you how much Paramount and Skydance shot themselves in the foot here.

While the newer characters and returning cast members from the last two films do have plenty of young talent that seems like they are having fun, they all remain rather disposable cannon fodder. Mason Gooding and Jasmin Savoy Brown are giving less to do here than the last two movies with the latter not even given the chance to deliver her deliciously ham-fisted speech that’s suppose to go into detail what modern day tropes this latest Scream installment is suppose to be mocking. Mckenna Grace and Celeste O’Connor seem to be only here because they have become more popular actresses among Gen Z that you just had to thrown in here. Joel McHale plays the straight forward police officer well but doesn’t have any chemistry with Neve Campbell as her distinct husband. It’s really saying something when the new cast members that give off the best impression are the ones that show up in the opening scene just to get killed by Ghostface.

In terms of returning characters from the original Scream movies, they might be even more underwhelming. While it’s always great to see Courtney Cox’s Gale and ESPECIALLY Matthew Lillard’s Stu, their presence somehow manages to feel even more like an afterthought than the legacy characters in Scream (2022). It particularly uses Stu to address a major global crisis we are all dealing with right now and…..then proceeds to do literally NOTHING else with it. Not only is there no shock value to Stu’s return because the film proceeds to explain right out of the gate why Stu is suddenly back with NO unique twist to it, the methods to his presence makes even less sense with the way the film explains it. I know tech is pretty good in our own world but there no way it’s THAT good as it is in Scream 7.

And in case you are wondering about the Ghostface actors, they are all hands down the worst killer reveals in the entire franchise. While it might leave you with a big “Oh!” in an interesting way at first glance, it falls completely apart the moment you even start to think about their motives and how little sense they actually made. It’s about the most random people you can imagine and have the most tacked-on connections to Sid imaginable, given the indication that this franchises has run out of ideas on how to shock people with who Ghostface is. When even the killer in last year’s I Know What You Did Last Summer have a more justifiable motive, you know something went completely wrong here.

Kevin Williamson makes his return to the Scream franchise after writing the first two Scream movies and Scream 4 while getting a chance for his seat in the director’s chair. Even if the whole film has a feeling that the whole thing was cobbled together at the last second (which I can’t imagine why), he is able to stage the stabbing and killing as best as he could. There’s a handful of real and effective stabbing scenes spread throughout, with the main standout being the opening sequence and the final stand by Sid herself. I’m not even gonna pretend they make even the most logical sense as to why each Ghostface scene is happening but to give the film credit where it’s due, it’s sequences of blood, gore, and kills do work whenever they need to.

Scream 7 is the first movie in the franchise that feels like it belongs more in the world of Stab than it does Scream. For all the faults of Scream 3 or the last two installments, they still did feel like proper Scream entries that was able to get the points they were trying to get across worth it. Scream 7 doesn’t even attempt to be as fun or intriguing as the weakest of Scream movies. Aside from trying to carry favor to Neve Campbell and those that rejected Scream (2022) and Scream VI because they actually dared to push the series forward, I can’t recommend this movie to anyone unless you are a Scream fanatic.

In my review for Scream VI back in 2023, I said that the next movie needed to up it’s game on the spoofs and meta commentary in order for the series to continue moving strong or else the fatigue will set in. While I’m sure the opening box office numbers will say otherwise, Scream 7 confirmed my worst fears in spectacular fashion. It’s a combination of corrupted studio politics and producers and what happens when a franchise is too in love with it’s past that it can’t bother to push forward for the future. As much as I’m a fan of this franchise, it’s probably time to put it to rest.

Wuthering Heights (2026) Movie Review- Sex Over Substance

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When adapting a well-known book onto the big screen, there always comes a very tight rope you need to walk on in order to make a winner out of it. Not only do you have to make it work as a faithful adaption to it’s source material that longtime fans will love, but you also have to make it work as it’s own self-contained story that can land with mainstream audiences who have never read the book (or any book) beforehand and coming into this one with fresh eyes. We’ve seen many times where film adaptions can make changes to it’s source material but still win the hearts of everyone by staying true to it’s origins such as Jurassic Park, How To Train Your Dragon, and (hopefully) Project Hail Mary while also seen adaptations surprisingly fall short BECAUSE of sticking to close to it’s origins and refusing to make changes such as The Running Man (2025) and (hopefully not) Dune: Messiah! Then you get adaptions like Emerald Fennell’s Wuthering Heights, that doesn’t seem interested in celebrating it’s successful book series it’s based on but more of making it’s own engaging story of it while wanting nothing to do with it’s book’s origins and is basically only a film adaption in name only. An adaption that seems to wants to be EVERYTHING but have to do with it’s own source material.

I’m not gonna pretend like I’m an expert on the Wuthering Heights series because I sure as heck am NOT but after doing my research on it before seeing the film, I can see why longtime fans of the book would have a grudge against this latest film iteration done by Emerald Fennell. Yes, the film puts the spotlight on a tragic yet heartfelt love story that puts the novel’s themes surrounding abuse and trauma to the wayside. Yes, the two main leads are about 10 to 15 years older on screen than they are in the novel! Yes, Fennell seems to be less interested in exploring the longing of the source material and more interested in plain lust here. And yes, the dark skinned male lead from the novel is replaced by a white, caucasian man (No fault to Jacob Elordi!) in the finished film.

This isn’t so much a fan fiction of Wuthering Heights but more of just plain fiction that’s a response to other fan fiction out there. It’s more of Emerald Fennell wanting to tell her own romantic tale that I’m sure she’s dreamed off since she was a little girl while desperately trying to do her best Greta Gerwig’s Little Women impression. Regardless of what angle you chose to look at this latest take on Wuthering Heights, it just doesn’t work.

Premise: A passionate and tumultuous love story set against the backdrop of the Yorkshire moors, exploring the intense and destructive relationship between Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi) and Catherine Earnshaw (Margot Robbie).

As much as there has been a strange hate boner towards Emerald Fennell in the film twitter community, I do find her to be a very talented director. Her debut feature film, Promising Young Woman, was a masterclass of a thriller that was perfectly executed in it’s social commentary of the post-Me Too era while containing one of boldest endings of any film in recent memory. Saltburn made for a worthy sophomore follow-up even though you can hear the gears turning and the perfectly straight forward pathway that Fennell lays out from the very beginning this time around. Say what you will about the narrative and structural choices of those films but you can at least see where she was going with it and her vision felt 100% present throughout. With Wuthering Heights, I’m not entirely sure what Emerald was trying to do here.

For the first half, you think it’s about a broken man and woman who grew up together and bonded under the shadow of abuse of their elder while slowly and chaotically becoming obsessed with one another the older they got, similar to the themes of it’s source material. But then, as soon as the first passionately loving scene between the two comes around at the halfway point, nearly all of that gets shoved entirely to the background in favor of several sequences of Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi making out and relentlessly having sex with one another.

I’m sure there are many men out there that are in love with Margot Robbie and many women out there that are in love with Jacob Elordi but Emerald Fennell seems to think that’s all what anyone is coming to this film for. Just for two very attractive people doing things that two very attractive people like to do with one another. And if she thinks that’s the case, then what was even the point of teasing your faithfulness to Wuthering Heights in the first place if you wanted to make your own hot and steamy film about two people that just wanna pork each other with for an hour and a half?

To be sure, the sex scenes in particular are quite tasteful and well done. Fennell clearly is getting the best out of Robbie and Elordi in these sequences, even if the two are about seven years apart in real life. Their chemistry only ever works during these parts, of being two individuals so chained to their tragic lifestyles that it’s only when they are together and f**king that they feel the most like themselves. But considering, these sequences don’t take place until around the halfway point and I’m sure if you combined every sex scene all together that you will only get around ten total minutes of the film’s 136 minute long runtime of them, you might be better off just waiting for the film to hit digital or until someone uploads a compilation of every one of those scenes on YouTube.

The problem here is that the film doesn’t particularly care about wanting the audience to root for Cathy and Heathcliff to get together. It thinks that just because the two knew each other since they were kids and went through some form of childhood trauma that we are expected to invest in their love triangle when they become adults. And considering both show constantly throughout the film that they can’t even be bothered to care about the partners that they are ALREADY committed to, I can’t even imagine a world where the two end up together in the end as a real happy ending.

I don’t want to be the person that compares the new Wuthering Heights to Fifty Shades of Grey but at least the latter is well aware that the audience is ONLY there for the love scenes and sexual tension throughout. It knows that the plot, characters, and themes are absolute dog water that makes Twilight look like a competently told love story in comparison. You only want to see Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan find weird and disturbing ways to bone one another in ways that is only BARELY suitable for film form. While nowhere near as bad or offensive as Fifty Shades of Grey and the best parts certainly work better as a more sexually satisfying experience, Wuthering Heights can’t function properly on it’s own merits because it’s trapped underneath it’s own weight of it’s source material that it’s actively trying to avoid.

That’s not to say there’s no redeemable qualities whatsoever that doesn’t involve the two main leads doing the awkward parent talk. The production design is absolutely lavish, with convincing costume designs, set aesthetics, and location shootings that perfectly mirror the time period that the film itself is set in. Margot Robbie NEVER phones it in with any movie that she is a part off, making an unwinnable situation to her best advantage and taking a great oath to making 2026’s Wuthering Heights work as a theatrical experience. And while there will be (much deserved) discourse surrounding the potential resurrection of whitewashing which may or may not be Hollywood’s ill-fated response to the current political climate, Jacob Elordi works well as the handsome, lustful male lead that is masterful at making his charms disguise his chaotic hidden nature.

When viewing Wuthering Heights as a proper date night movie for Valentine’s Day weekend to get a certain young couple in the “mood” by the time the credits roll, it’s passable at best. When viewing Wuthering Heights as a faithful adaption or a stand alone cinematic experience, it’s a misfire. It’s caught between trying to be a slow burn haunting tale of two people that believe they are faithfully forced to be together and being a straight up sex-filled craved fantasy with no substance required. If the runtime consisted of 90 to 105 minutes, it could have gotten away with it. At a total of 136 minutes, no chance.

I don’t know how this film would have fared if Fennell chose to stick with the actual roots of the source material but it feels like she went over her head here. Not necessarily because she believes she’s better than the source material but more she believes the source material is better than her. When taking that into consideration, it makes sense as to why you shouldn’t try honoring the material because it’s too special to be messed with and just create new material of your own that may or may not bring new medium to the title which the book is based on. If this is how Emerald truly saw her head at here, than this was basically doomed from the start.

Strong performances and production values can not mask the faults of a film so empty, overlong, and directionless in it’s own vision. I’ll still defend Promising Young Woman and Saltburn but as for this one, sorry Emerald, you are on your own!

We Bury The Dead (2026) Movie Review- Welcome To 2026!

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Well, welcome back to reviewing to me! That’s right! After a year long hiatus, I am back baby! To celebrate, let’s review a new movie that absolutely NO ONE is talking about!

We Bury The Dead is a new zombie survival horror flick that is written and directed by Zak Hilditch and stars the INCREDIBLY lovable Daisy Ridley! Here we follow a woman named Ava (Daisy Ridley) as she goes on a journey to find her missing husband while being forced to confront grief, loss, and the undead that keeps haunting her throughout! She meets a couple of folks along the way who help guide her but soon Ava discovers that the more she tries to discover the truth about her husband’s disappearance and the land of zombies, the more heartbreaking the truth might actually be.

Admittedly, there’s not a ton that can be said about We Bury The Dead other than what you would expect to be based on the cover and premise of the film. It offers a fresh take on the zombie subgenre, that unlocks a very unique vision from the perspective of Hilditich of the land of the undead, while being able to dive into the kind of themes mentioned before in ways that wasn’t done in from similar films such as World War Z, The Walking Dead, and The Last of Us. It certainly does take it’s sweet ass time to get from Point A to Point B and does occasionally slip into those plot conveniences and coincidences that tend to be a staple for these kind of flicks but for the most part, We Bury The Dead is solid and engaging enough that it won’t have you thinking too much about them before the credits roll.

Daisy Ridley is the main driving force of the film and manage to keeps that same engaging presence she always gives no matter what film she is in. She contains great chemistry with the limited cast she is able to interact in, particularly Brenton Thwaites. So much so that most of the film’s momentum comes to a screech halt every time Thwaites is NOT onscreen and only regains that momentum again once another zombie gets thrown into the mix.

However, for a film that is clearly prioritizing atmosphere over action, it does it job about as remarkably as it can. The cinematography is breathtaking, the tone is as grim as the way the zombies look, the visuals is able to assist in the film’s telling of a story about seeking closure in the wake of absolute tragedy, and the haunting score by Clark is able to give off more of that tension, cluster phobic vibe than all the Resident Evil films combined (Don’t let me down this time, Zach Cregger!). While you still get your occasional zombie kill beat here and there, it’s the film’s overall approach to it’s atmosphere and scary vibes that are the main driving force here.

It’s definitely not a perfect movie by any means but the flaws aren’t enough to squander this picture. Like I said, this is a rather slow moving motion picture, which is a warning to those that are going into this purely for the zombie kills and blood gore fest. And the way it resolves certain plotlines, while makes perfect sense thematically, might make one feel empty emotionally and as part of the whole picture. Then again, I feel like if ANY of us become a part of a zombie apolaypse, we would have very little to actually be happy about afterwards.

Regardless, We Bury The Dead is a damn good time for what it’s going for. It’s an engaging another horror flick that checks all the boxes you want out of these post-apocalyptic films while also finding enough of a new voice of it’s own that makes it go well with the shelf of other recent zombie horror flicks. It’ll likely not be on your mind too much just days after you watch it, but hey as a way of kick starting of what will likely be ANOTHER chaotic year, it does it’s job perfectly well.

Other comments:

  • Sorry if this is a rather short review but I figured I needed to flex my muscles a bit because it’s been over a year since I last done a full review for this blog! I do expect to go more in depth with future reviews but also, I wouldn’t mind doing mini-reviews for films once I become incredibly busy in my personal life.

  • Also, have a very happy new year! Whatever your New Years resolutions are, I really hope you stick with them because they are important!

The Console Wars Are Over

AdamLeave a comment

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s finally happened! Most of us probably thought this day would never come but it finally has! This week, Microsoft has announced that Halo is coming to the PlayStation 5!

I repeat because this bears repeating: HALO IS COMING TO THE PLAYSTATION 5!

Imagine telling yourself that over 25 years ago, around the time where SEGA was failing in the console business and would eventually be forced to put Sonic on Nintendo consoles! Xbox and Microsoft fans all around the world got to experience just that this week when Microsoft announced Halo: Campaign Evolved, a remake of the campaign for Halo: Combat Evolved, for the PlayStation 5, set to come out in 2026, alongside the PC and Xbox Series S/X!

To say this announcement is big news would be a MASSIVE understatement! This was not only an announcement of a new remake of a beloved classic but this was the announcement that Microsoft has finally thrown in the white flag in the console war!

They have acknowledged that they are no longer serious about convincing others that their console is the best of them all! They have acknowledged they are no longer at the top of the game at what they do in regards to console making! They have acknowledged that their once beloved exclusive IPs such as Halo are better off being shared with their neighbors rather than staying strictly at home where they previously belonged! Above all, they have acknowledged that the console war is now officially over, and both Sony and Nintendo have won!

For those that have been following the gaming world for the past few years, you probably saw this coming from a mile away! It was just last year where Microsoft was considering the idea of moving their well-known IPs and prior exclusive franchises to other consoles in response to the lackluster sales of the Xbox Series S/X! (Something which I did write about and will leave a link for at the end). And for the most part, we are starting to see that in action!

First came Sea of Thieves, which made it’s way onto the PS5 on April 30th, 2024! Next, came Indiana Jones & The Great Circle, which was previously an Xbox exclusive that eventually made it’s way to the PS5 around Spring time of this year! Then, came Gear of Wars: Reloaded, a remaster of 2015’s Gears of War: Ultimate Edition, came to the PS5 in August of this year! And finally, for the final nail on the coffin, Halo, perhaps Xbox’s biggest and most beloved gaming franchise, is set to come out on the PS5 next year!

Not gonna lie, a big part of me is sad about this! The console wars was among the most fun things about pop culture and entertainment throughout the 21st century! It made for a nice distraction for all the political chaos that was going on from around the world, going back and forth on who is delivering the best among video games! Sure, there might’ve been a bit too much name calling and obnoxious fanboy behavior but to most people, it was mostly all tongue-and-cheek and felt it was always encouraging the likes of Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo to deliver the best possible product imaginable for players and gamers all around the world!

However, things have changed! Now, Microsoft more than likely has slammed the door shut on being serious on participating in any future consoles wars! They no longer se themselves as being enough to compete with Sony or even Nintendo! Those two companies have their consoles, exclusives, and overall brand pretty much logged in for the foreseeable future with no momentum slowing them down! Sure, they might’ve made their mistakes in the past with the likes of the disastrous handlings of the PlayStation 3 (at least at launch) and the Wii U but they were at least able to bounce back from those missteps and come back stronger than ever with the PlayStation 4 and Nintendo Switch! It doesn’t seem like Microsoft will be able to have that kind of redemption arc in the near future!

And you know what, they literally have NO ONE to blame but THEMSELVES! Everyone has been calling our their bulls**t ever since the Xbox One reveal back in May of 2013! And not only did they not improve from their mistakes of that but they basically doubled down on it! From confusing console titles to severe lack of exclusives to absurd prices to the killing of physical media to the focus on anything but the actual gaming experience, Microsoft brought down the downfall of the Xbox on themselves! Despite having over the past 12+ years of getting a chance at redeeming themselves, they have only dig themselves further and further down! And it’s now gotten to the point where they have no choice but to share their exclusives onto other consoles for the foreseeable future!

While Microsoft has gotten on record in saying that they are in preparation for their next gaming console, I don’t think anybody will ever take them seriously as being a legit threat to Sony and Nintendo ever again! Unless they are able to complete the biggest comeback arc in the history of gaming with their next console (assuming that even gets made), the days of Microsoft being an absolute dominate force in gaming and entertainment are long gone! So much so that they shouldn’t even bother with a new console because that will likely do even worse numbers than the DreamCast, especially if the rumors of it being over a thousand dollars is true!

Once again, Halo: Campaign Evolved, a remaster of the campaign of the original Xbox exclusive, Halo: Combat Evolved, will be coming to the PlayStation 5 in 2026, alongside the PC and Xbox Series S/X!

The console war is officially over!

RIP Xbox (2001-2025)

Also, Microsoft, if you are seriously considering shipping your prior exclusives onto other consoles, would you be willing to get together with another certain gaming studio that once partnered with you but are now with Sony for a remaster of a certain gem of game from over a decade ago?!

*Hinty hint hint*

PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN!