Rise of the Tomb Raider (2015) Game Retrospective/Perspective/Review

Not gonna lie, I can’t decide if I should call this a “retrospective” or “perspective”. That is mostly because a lot of time has passed since this game came out but not quite enough to where it can be considered “retro” or “nostalgic”. Because of that, I’m gonna have my cake and eat it too and call it both a retrospective and perspective. I guess you could call this a PER-RETRO-SPECTIVE! I don’t really know and care but hey, for those that do care, there you go!

2015 saw the arrival of the next installment with Lara Croft known as Rise of the Tomb Raider, once again developed by Crystal Dynamics and published by Square Enix. This acted as the sequel to Tomb Raider (2013), the middle chapter of the Survivor trilogy, and the 11th entry in the Tomb Raider franchise.

Development of Rise of the Tomb Raider began shortly after the development of Tomb Raider (2013) concluded. Crystal Dynamics wanted to take the next big step forward with Lara Croft while also addressing player feedback from the previous installment. This included an emphasis on more puzzle and challenge tombs while reducing the number of quick time events. The development team traveled to several locations in Turkey, including Cappadocia, Istanbul, and Ephesus, in order to faithfully design Kitezh. Powered by the Foundation engine, the game was also developed by Eidos-Montreal and Nixxes Software, certainly contributing to the stronger engine of the game, that saw much stronger graphics, presentation, and an incredibly smooth 60 FPS.

During E3 2014, Rise of the Tomb Raider was announced as an exclusive for the Xbox 360 and Xbox One. This sparked quite amount of controversy among gamers and fans alike. It was shortly after the backlash ensued that Square Enix confirmed it would only be a TIMED exclusive for the Xbox 360 and Xbox One and would later make it’s way to the PlayStation 4 several months later. Microsoft paid for the game to be a timed exclusive in the hopes that it would pushed for more Xbox One sales during the holiday season of 2015. The Xbox 360 and Xbox One versions came out on November 10th, 2015, with the Windows version releasing just three months later on January 28th, 2016, and finally released on the PlayStation 4 on October 11th, 2016.

There were big concerns about the sale numbers for Rise of the Tomb Raider from several game journalists. Not only because it would be a timed exclusive for the Xbox consoles but it would also be released on the same day as Fallout 4. Despite the concerns, both Microsoft and Square Enix were reportedly very satisfied with the games sales at it’s initial launch, with the latter likely being more satisfied with the sales as the game would be ported to other consoles. As of November 2021, it has been reported that the game has sold nearly 12 million copies worldwide, with the estimated number being around 11.8 million.

Like it’s predecessor, the game received strong reviews and critical acclaim. The majority of the praise was giving to the beautiful graphics, the polished gameplay, the characterization of Lara Croft, and offering much more variety of content than the previous game. However, some felt that the game lacked innovation and didn’t take nearly as much risks as it should. With Rise of the Tomb Raider approaching ten years old, let’s see how the middle chapter of Lara’s prequel origin story holds up!

Story:

Taking place one year after the events of Tomb Raider (2013), we follow archaeologist Lara Croft, who is suffering from PTSD from her experience with the supernatural on Yamatai, struggling to explain such experience to those around her. Desperate for answers, she turns to her late father Lord Croft’s research on the lost city of Kitezh, which promises the power of immorality. Lord Croft’s partner, Ana, arrives and warns Lara to not pursue that Lost City, as that drove her father to ruin and suicide. Now understanding the obsession her father had as an archaeologist, Lara ignores her warning and makes way to the Forgotten Cities in Syria, hoping to uncover the tomb of the Prophet of Constantinople, a key figure in the Kitezh legend.

However, once Lara arrives to claim the tomb, it’s empty. Her arrival is interrupted by a new deadly force known as Trinity, an ancient order of knights turned paramilitary organization investigating the supernatural, and their leader, Konstantin. After Lara is able to escape, she discovers a symbol etched into the tomb, which she links to a book on Russian religious history that was a part of her father’s studies at Croft Manor. She learns of an artifact called the Divine Source, said to be capable of granting that immorality that Lara is seeking from the legendary city of Kitezh.

As Lara goes on a new journey, she teams up with her old friend Jonah to retrieve the artifact while also running into a handful of allies/rivals new and old. There’s Jacob, the leader of its inhabitants, the Remnants, and part of the descendants of the Prophet’s followers. There’s Sophia, a female village warrior who has a hard time in trusting Lara, believing her to be no different than the Trinity. And there’s Ana, Lord Croft’s Partner, who happens to be caught in the middle of the search for immorality in ways that will make Lara turned here worldview on her.

Finding herself in the middle of a dangerous adventure yet again, Lara Croft must search for the legendary city of Kitezh, find the artifact that holds that key to immorality, and stop the Trinity from possessing this unspeakable power before it places herself and her friends of old and new in great danger.

It’s also worth noting that there are actually story DLC packs this time around, adding to the campaign experience of Rise of the Tomb Raider. These story packs are titled: Baby Yaga: The Temple of the Witch, Cold Darkness Awakened, Blood Ties, and Lara’s Nightmare. I won’t go into these one-by-one here because there is not a ton here that’s important to the overall story here. However, they certainly do a solid job at expanding the origins of Lara’s bond with her father along with seeing her slowly starting to embody the Lara Croft of old. I will give a brief description of them over at the Downloadable Content section.

The overall story for Rise of the Tomb Raider plays like a classic Tomb Raider adventure with sprinkles of Indiana Jones and Uncharted 2. With Tomb Raider (2013) getting the origins of an early Lara Croft out of the way, Rise is able to jump right into the next stage of Lara’s early development by going on a massive scaled, global adventure. Her, we see Lara looking to retrieve an incredibly rare artifact that promises a certain power never before seen, with her also questioning her allegiance, her father’s legacy, and her overall commitment to archaeology along the way.

It’s really interesting to see Lara caught in the same shadow as her father once did. Just like her daddy, Lara is at her place where she has given her life to adventure and discovery, gaining such an obsession for it that it starts to affect the people she cares about him the most. The main difference though is that Lara is closer than her father ever was to achieving the unachievable, having the whole world see the Croft family for who they really are. Not just to convince the world that the Crofts were NEVER crazy but they were ALWAYS right to commit their life to archeology.

The only downside of the story compared to the previous installment is that it does provide less banter and quippy moments with the crew that Lara was with on her first adventure. It’s only Jonah this time around that makes a grand return and even then, he spends a good majority of the game separated from Lara as she spends more time with the new players added to the roster than her old allies. Also, while the Tyranny and the leader Konstantin are a definite improvement over the villains of the last game, they still come across as yet another one-note cult and are still the least interesting parts of the game.

Writer Rhianna Pratchett has gone on record in saying she wanted to create a more personal journey for Lara Croft this time around and in my mind, she definitely succeeded. This definitely felt like the next possible step in Lara’s overall arc to becoming the tomb raider. Not only with the fact that discovering tombs plays a much more important role to the overall story but also to have it tie back to her family’s legacy and her overall purpose as an adventure. It’s not just about Lara discovering a sacred power of immorality but also an immorality of her own. That immorality being that she will always be an adventure, archeologist, and tomb raider by heart. Even if it comes at the expense of her friends and loved ones, there is nothing that Lara is more romantic about than being the tomb raider.

Gameplay:

Once again, Rise of the Tomb Raider is a third-person action adventure game where you take control of Lara Croft. Lara is given a large variety of weapons at her disposal, from bows and arrows to knifes to her ice axe to pistols to shotguns to assault rifles. You use these weapons to take out enemies in order to progress through the game.

Stealth also plays a major factor to the gameplay, where you take out enemies one-by-one, create distractions to draw enemies away from Lara, and hiding in bushes to evade enemies. Lara can use the environment to fight enemies, shooting explosive barrels, tear down rope-wrapped structures with rope arrows, or ambush enemies from the high ground (Somewhere, Obi-Wan Kenobi is smiling!) This stealth and combat was a big factor in Tomb Raider (2013) and it continues to be a big factor in Rise of the Tomb Raider.

Accomplishing objectives, completing side content, and eliminating enemies give players experience points. A.K.A. XP. When players collect XP, they level up and receive a skill point, which can be spend to upgrade the game’s three skill trees: Brawler, Hunter, and Survivor. Brawler helps with Lara’s efficiency with weapons, giving her abilities and boosting her resilience against attack along with unlocking new combat skills. Hunter helps with Lara dealing with the environments and animals. Survivor covers a wide range of skills such as creating bombs and setting up booby traps. Lara can learn new languages, enabling her to discover relics, which can be traded in exchange for new equipment.

Rise of the Tomb Raider also offers semi-open hubs to explore. While far from the level of say Grand Theft Auto V or even Gotham City from Batman: Arkham Knight, these sections do offer hub worlds for those that want to relax for a moment and see what’s going on with the other villages. In the hubs are items for Lara to collect, including crafting materials and survival caches. These items and collectibles, such as relics and docs that can be revealed to players using Survival Instinct, a vision mode which once again can highlight items of interest along with enemies during combat sections. By collecting these items, players can craft items with the game’s own crafting menu. Lara can craft ammo, poisoned arrows, and Molotov cocktails and hand grenades from cans and bottles.

The open areas are also filled with wildlife, which can be hunted to collect more resources. These are also main areas where you can find new side missions and discover/explore challenge tombs for new skills, outfits, and equipment. You can do this by talking to a certain villager which can guide you on a specific side mission or finding a hidden area which reveals a secret challenge tomb. The majority of these are not required to be the main campaign but you will likely find yourself wanting to complete one on the way as the side mission might just be right in front of you for you to complete.

A main big addition that Crystal Dynamics chose to put more focus on is the puzzle solving. Throughout the game, players will find themselves solving puzzles to progress through the game, in both the main campaign and side missions. The puzzles, based on in-game physics, are often connected and lead to a larger one later on down the road. During these sections, you will find yourself solving smaller, connective puzzles in order to solve a much larger one. These sections were clearly done as a response from the fans feedback from the previous game with wanting to add more elements from the classic Tomb Raider games, such as challenge tombs and puzzle solving. If you were one of these people, then you certainly get your wish with this game.

Unlike the previous game, Rise of the Tomb Raider does not have a multiplayer mode, also likely due to the lackluster response that the previous game’s multiplayer received. Instead, it introduces Expeditions, which allows players to replay the game with new constraints and requirements. This aligns with the game’s four modes: Chapter Replay, Chapter Replay Elite, Score Attack, and Remnant Resistance. Chapter Replay and Replay Elite allows players to replay any level and bring already-acquired skills and weapons to the level, Score Attack introduces score combo chains and Remnant Resistance allows to create custom scenarios, which can be shared with other players. By completing Expeditions, you earn credits which can then be used to purchase digital collectible cards to modify the gameplay. For those that are into the card collection of say MLB: The Show will certainly get a huge kick out of this.

When it comes to the overall gameplay, there is very little of me to talk negatively about. Crystal Dynamics clearly took the fan criticisms of the previous game to heart and looked to find that right balance to make Rise of the Tomb Raider a game made for both longtime and casual fans alike. In my mind, they succeed greatly at that. By improving upon the combat, stealth, and platforming of the previous game and also trimming down on QTE sections in favor of the more traditional puzzle solving and challenge tombs, there is something for any kind of Tomb Raider fan here.

I love taking control of Lara as she is going on this Nathan Drake-like adventure where she searches for the lost city of Kitezh. I love how tighter and more polished the overall gameplay felt, with making Lara control just about as well as she possibly ever could. I love being able to explore mini hub worlds this time around, which allows to interact with the other characters and villagers of the game, along with unlocking secret side missions. I love the addition of more puzzle solving missions like the original Tomb Raider games and even wanting to go more out of my way this time around to solve the challenge tombs. I love how it’s able to learn the right lessons from the likes of Uncharted while still standing strong on it’s own foundation. I just love the gameplay of Rise of the Tomb Raider overall.

Granted, if we are being totally honest, there’s isn’t too much here that wasn’t already presented in Tomb Raider (2013). Yes, there are certainly features and more expansive content this time around but the overall formula and engine remains the same. It’s clear Crystal Dynamics wasn’t looking to reinvent the wheel here and just wanted to deliver the same things that fans loved about the previous games while also incorporating elements from the classic Tomb Raider games that had become a staple of the franchise back then. While those looking for more innovation might be slight disappointed, those that just wanted more of what they got last time, mixed in with the things they got with the original games, and a couple of extras throughout should not be disappointed in the slightest.

I guess if I have a gripe, it would be that the boss fights still range from weak to practically non-existence. While there are certainly still action sequences and cinematic set pieces that will give you the impression that you are about to encounter something intense and heart bumping, the individual boss fights themselves are nothing to write home about. It still feels like you are just fighting some random enemy and beating them doesn’t feel very rewarding or satisfying.

Aside from that, the gameplay for Rise of the Tomb Raider is incredibly polished and incredibly fun. It’s able to improve on any potential shortcomings that the previous game had while also incorporating and mixing in new elements that feel organic and adds to the overall experience. You can still argue this is more of the same has before but hey, if that more of the same is done better and still fun to play, I’ll definitely take it.

Graphics:

Graphically, this game is ASTONISHING! This is easily one of the best and most impressive looking games ever released! The opening sequence in the snowy mountains alone showcases the massive power in graphics engine that Eidos-Montreal and Nixxes Software provided with the game. The textures is clear cut, the presentation is near flawless, and the 60 FPS is the pure icing on the cake. It’s one of the few examples of a “realistic” looking video game being an actual complaint. A single screenshot of this game makes it feel like the game is actually in real life and NOT from a video game.

The animation and motion capture is incredibly well done as well. This is probably the best that Lara Croft has ever looked, with face animation that even rival the king of motion capture performances in Naughty Dog. While these technical achievements were impressive in Tomb Raider (2013), there were a handful of instances of graphical errors and a cutscene or two that a character is moving like an animatronic. However, just about 99.99% of that is wiped out ENTIRELY in Rise of the Tomb Raider, making it graphically and presentation wise a visually pleasing masterpiece.

There’s not enough praise I can give to the graphics engine and production values for Rise of the Tomb Raider, probably the best and most polished aspect of the entire game. Even those that don’t like this game can’t deny how much time and effort went into making this game look as amazing and convincing as it could possibly be. Whether it’s because of a bigger budget or the involvement of Eidos-Montreal and Nixxes Software, Rise of the Tomb Raider is a technical marvel that has no business being as well made and pleasing to the eyes as it should.

Sound:

Jason Graves, the composer of Tomb Raider (2013) didn’t return this time around to the score for Rise of the Tomb Raider. The man doing that is no other than Bobby Tahouri. Thankfully, Tahouri is able to pick off exactly where Graves left off, delivering a score that works perfectly as not just an action-adventure game but a Tomb Raider game at heart. The music is once again able to fit the mood and tone of just about every single sequence in the game, from every intense action set piece to every slow breathing dramatic moment.

Once again, the voice acting is top notch all around and once again, the real main standout is Camilla Luddington as Lara Croft herself. She perfectly embodies this early years version of Lara Croft, taking baby steps into becoming the Tomb Raider we all know and love. Her tremendous line delivery and nearly flawlessly motion capture performance just feels appropriately like Lara Croft, helping greatly to match the characterization through performance with the writing.

There was clearly just as much effort put into the audio and sound design as the graphical engine and presentation. There’s not a single track or performance that feels wasted or half assed. It all looks and sounds wonderful.

Downloadable Content:

Rise of the Tomb Raider received plenty of DLC support, much more than the first game. It’s first post-launch game update released on December 4th, about a month after the game’s release. It introduced an endurance mode, as Lara hunts and crafts items while facing hidden dangers and environmental hazards. The real main standouts of the DLC came from the additional story add-ons.

Unlike the first game, Rise offered multiple story DLCs. The titles for these story DLCs being Baba Yaga: The Temple of the Witch, Cold Darkness Awakened, Blood Ties, and Lara’s Nightmare. Baby Yaga: The Temple of the Witch sees Lara investigating a disturbance in the Soviet mine, where she meets a young girl named Nadia and fights against a new foe known as Baby Yaga. Cold Darkness Awakened has Lara enter a decommissioned Soviet weapons bunker, which has been breached by a Trinity patrol, which also includes a horde mode in which Lara fights waves of infected enemies. Blood Ties has Lara explore Croft Manor, which introduces a combat-free mode while doing so. Lara’s Nightmare, which is like a mix of Cold Darkness Awakened and Blood Ties has Lara once again coming up against infected enemies that have infiltrated the Manor. This DLC was free of charge to season-pass holders and would be further expanded upon with plenty of new additions in the Rise of the Tomb Raider: 20 Year Celebration edition, which released around the same time as the PlayStation 4 version of the main game.

When looking at these DLC packs, it was clear that Crystal Dynamics wanted to provided extra content that would give the players a full money’s worth of content. Unlike Tomb Raider (2013), where most of the DLC just felt like random add-ons that were removed from the game at the last second just for the sake of squeezing extra dollars, these DLC story packs do feel like they are worth the extra few bucks for players that are curious.

I wouldn’t say you are required to play them if you don’t want to be lost in Shadow of the Tomb Raider, as they mostly feel more episodic to the main game and just random side adventures for Lara Croft. However, they certainly do help to add more expansive content to the main game and does give players more to do after completing the main campaign. These are far from the greatest DLC packs ever but it is nice to see Crystal Dynamics put extra care into the expansive content than before.

Conclusion:

The question most likely had going into if Rise of the Tomb Raider is better than Tomb Raider (2013)? Technically speaking, I would argue Yes! The production values are incredibly top notch, the gameplay is much smoother and more refined, there’s more puzzles and challenge tombs this time around, there’s much more expansive content, the story feels deeper and more personal, and of course, the graphical engine is COMPLETELY off the charts! However, Tomb Raider (2013) set the foundation, novelty and groundwork of this Survivor trilogy, the kind of foundation, novelty, and groundwork that Rise of the Tomb Raider never is able to replicate on it’s own terms. It certainly builds upon it as good and organically as it can but not to the extent that original game did. You can go back-and-forth between the two games but if I had to chose just one to play, I might be more incline to go with Rise of the Tomb Raider. However, if only one of these games had to exist, then I might go with Tomb Raider (2013), if that makes sense.

Even so, despite the unavoidable comparisons to it’s predecessor and falling a tad short of being the Uncharted 2 level masterpiece that it’s aiming for (and taking obvious inspiration from), Rise of the Tomb Raider is still a fantastic game all around and one definitely worth playing.

Would Crystal Dynamics be able to continue their momentum and save their best for last? Find out next time!

Next Up: Shadow of the Tomb Raider (2018)

Transformers One (2024) Movie Review- Perfectly Meets The Eye

When it comes to how the Transformers themselves has fared in the world of medium, the one area where they managed to fit themselves the most admirably is with animation. Between the classic 1984 cartoon and the 1986 animated feature film, those were able to bring out the best in the Autobots themselves. By placing colorful characters in colorful environments with bright textures and imaginative cybertronic worlds, that is the area which best suits the Transformers we all know and love.

All of which is quite odd how it has taken literally 38 (!!) years before we FINALLY got a proper theatrically released animated Transformers film. We’ve gotten SEVEN live-action Transformers film, all of which (outside of the superb Bumblebee) ranged from decent to guilty pleasure to outright bad to downright abysmal. And at least 90% of those couldn’t come close to topping an animated flick from the 1980s, which basically acted as a toy commercial for the animated series. Nevertheless, director Josh Cooley (Toy Story 4) has finally stepped up and gave us all an animated Transformers film in the year 2024 with Transformers One….and it’s actually pretty darn good.

It’s certainly no masterpiece and not gonna change anyone’s viewpoint to those that have never been fond of the brand but for longtime fans of the franchise and even newcomers, Transformers One should definitely leave them with a smile on their face. It’s able to avoid most of the trappings that most prequel origin stories fall victim to, the world of Cybertron has never been more intriguing to explore, the main autobots we follow get their own unique development and moments to shine, and it’s able to stand strong as it’s own unique, enjoyable flick while leaving room for potential sequels and spin-offs. I don’t know if this is my absolute favorite of all the Transformers movies (I still have more of a soft spot for the Transformers meets E.T. and The Iron Giant riff known as Bumblebee!) but it certainly comes close and will make you realize the full potential of an animated Transformers cinematic universe.

Premise: Brothers-in-arms Orion Pax (Chris Hemsworth) and D-16 (Bryan Tyree Henry) become sworn enemies Optimus Prime and Megatron.

The most unique aspect of Transformers One is how it’s willing to tell it’s origin story of the early days of the Autobots without making the required plot elements feel like things that need to be checked off of a list that has to happen in a Transformers prequel. The major turning points we already know is going to happen such as Optimus Prime turning into a noble leader, Megatron turning into his villainous self, the war on Cybertron, and all the Transformers turning into their iconic selfs, is all in the service for it’s central story about betrayal, deception, and gaining optimism when both of those things occurred.

So much so that the overall premise of seeing Prime and Megatron going from allies to enemies is actually pushed to the wayside. The major of the focus is centered on Orion Pax, D-16, Elita-1, B-127, before they become Optimus Prime, Megatron, and Bumblebee (Elita is still the same!), looking to retake Cybertron having it’s been corrupted by Sentinel Prime, a leader that they once looked up to and respected from down below. The actual evolution of Optimus Prime and Megatron respectively, seeing the former growing into the ultimate hero and the latter growing into the ultimate villain, is more of a psychological conflict as the events of the war of Cybertron are happening around them and the ways they respond to it. It’s done so well that I was shocked how invested I was when that relationship does take an inevitable dark turn during a key turning point moment. That in of itself allows the majority of the runtime being spend on fleshing out the main Autobots and fleshing out the world of Cybertron in ways that hasn’t been done before in a Transformers movie.

It does start off a bit rough though, mostly leaning into the water-down comedy and slapstick that the trailers and marketing put a major focus on. There’s only so much one can take of seeing Optimus Prime in his more kid friendly self and being unable to actually transform before it gets tiring. It’s elements like that that let many people question, including myself, of whether or not an animated Transformers prequel could actually work. Thankfully, once the ball starts rolling, and the grand mission gets revealed of what needs to be done, the film committees to it’s drama to a surprising degree without letting it’s more family friendly tone and humor weigh it down.

The animation is beautifully done, being able to portray Cybertron as a very colorful landscape environment that makes one all the more curious to explore that world. The film’s unique animated style also helps the Transformers stand out much better with their designs, making one clearly different than another and very rarely making you feel like you forgot which Transformers is suppose to be which. The Autobots have never looked more appealing in film form. Not to mention, the action is able to stand out pretty well with plenty of fun fight sequences and spectacle battles, although you can tell the animators do clearly like them robot parts coming off. This was clearly a labor of love from Mr. Cooley and he shows once again why animation can and should be viewed as a top tier art form.

When it comes to the voice cast, it’s….adequate for the most part. It will definitely take getting used to hearing our beloved autobots and eventual deceptions before they grow into their badass vocal cords. Not to mention, the celebrity heavy cast is clearly on display, with hardly anyone sounding any different than these actors usually are in anything else. Even so, you can tell most of them are having fun, which makes it slightly more forgivable.

Chris Hemsworth is having a good time at playing a younger version of Optimus Prime and subtlety does start to sound more like the iconic Peter Cullen as the movie goes on. Brian Tyree Henry gives one of the funniest and most unique voice performances of 2024 as D-16/Megatron. Scarlett Johansson stands out in incredibly amusing ways as the girlbot Elita-1 (including one big plot beat or moment designed to trigger die hard cultural warriors). Keegan-Michael Key’s Bumblebee can get a bit tiring after awhile but he’s able to make his typical brand off humor work with the character. Jon Hamm as Sentinel Prime is exactly what you expect for any role that Jon Hamm takes with a character in complete control of power. Also, did you know that Soundwave is voiced by the Honest Trailer voice guy.

While it does fall short in being the Into the Spider-Verse/The Last Wish/Mutant Mayhem animated gamechanger it clearly wants to be, Transformers One delivers the action, laughs, and heart you could possibly want from an animated Transformers movie. The origins story of the early days of the Autobots is told remarkably well with hardly any beats feeling like they are in there just because it’s an origin story, the animation is gorgeous, all the Transformers get there own moments to shine, and the overall theme of different ideologies can get the best/worst out of us all is one that surprisingly works wonderfully for a Transformers movie. Plus, unlike Transformers One, you can jump right into the story and not feel lost.

It does take a while to get going and the celebrity filled voice cast, while fun, definitely doesn’t hold a candle to previous voice cast for Transformers but for those that want an animated flick with our favorite Autobots that has them front and center with no human presence to wear it down, Transformers One is definitely the Transformers movie for you.

Other comments:

  • Also, I think parents should beware that there is quite a bit of swearing in the movie. It’s mostly mild swear words such as “hell”, “damn”, and “ass” but they are in there.

  • Like Bumblebee spends over half of the movie referring to himself as the BADASS-ATRON!

  • I imagine parents will be as stunned of such swearing as the parents in my screening for Puss in Boots: The Last Wish were.

Ranking The Transformers Franchise

With Transformers One now out in theaters, its time to rank some of the biggest and most overblown blockbuster franchises of the 21st century…..along with a couple of animated motion pictures! You should need no further introduction that that! Here’s my ranking of all eight Transformers films thus far from worst to best!

9.) Transformers: The Last Knight

If you want an example of literally everything wrong with modern cinema, look no further than the absolute monstrosity that is Transformers: The Last Knight! This is what happens when a franchise just stops caring and think releasing anything in any state is acceptable! From the godawful directing to the inconsistent frame rate to the nonexistent plot that makes the other films in the series make no sense whatsoever to the butchered characterization to the nearly unwatchable action to the bizarre virtual signaling, there is not enough words in the English language to describe this trainwreck of a feature film! This is not just the low point for the autobots, this is a low point for movies in general! You can tell Michael Bay was over this franchise even before he took the camera and as a result, ended up finishing his run with this series by saving his worst for last!

Not to mention, Unicorn being planet Earth this whole time and Bumblebee fighting the Nazi?!?! Really?!?!?! Just really?!?!?!?!

8.) Transformers: Age of Extinction

If Age of Extinction is better than The Last Knight, it’s not better by much! This bloated disaster took everything that was wrong about Bay’s first three Transformers movies and cranked them up to 11! The action is even more exhausting, the humor is even more unfunny, the characters are even more obnoxious, the product placement is even more on the nose, the effects are somehow even more blatantly unfinished and obvious, and the runtime is even more taunting than perhaps any movie that has ever existed. While this does at least feel like a complete film overall, it’s still an absolutely terrible one and easily the worst film to ever make a billion dollars at the box office.

Also, statutory rape as a plot point! I just…..what more can you say?!

7.) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

The fact we now live in a timeline where this piece of crap is not even the second worst Transformers film really says a lot! At the very least, this had an excuse as to why it sucked as much as it did, most notably because this movie was rushed into production due to a writer’s strike. There is also a couple of legit good action beats here, especially the forest fight with Optimus Prime. Plus, unlike the last two films mentions, this has a proper three act structure! Just unfortunate that the script is complete garbage with a story that makes no sense with multiple plot threads that go nowhere, the typical Michael Bay humor being it’s absolute worst here, has some of the most annoying and particularly racist side characters in any film, and the Fallen himself being one of the most useless villains in any movie I’ve seen. While Revenge of the Fallen may be watchable compare to the last two films mention, it’s still pretty damn bad overall and not worth your time!

At least, it gave us Megan Fox on a motorcycle though!

6.) Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

There’s not much you can say about Rise of the Beasts other than what you come to expect from a Transformers movie at this point. With the kind of material it’s adapting in Beasts Wars and what is present onscreen, it could have made for one of the better Transformers movies rather than one that is middle-of-the-pack at best. It delivers the action, visuals, and spectacle you can come to expect from these movies and does them well to make for a fine watch but it doesn’t do enough to justify adapting the Beasts Wars and it’s plot feels frighteningly similar to that of Revenge of the Fallen, only with less crude humor and no racist stereotypes. Even with the tease at the end of a potential cross-over that could make for interesting future installments, Rise of the Beasts feels too surface value and run-of-the-mill that it’s hard to get excited about this franchise on film for the near future. And if the lackluster box office numbers have been any indication, I’m certainly not alone in thinking that. Serviceable time waster but nothing more.

It gets points for the Sonic and Tails references though!

5.) Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The third installment of the Bayverse is probably the best in terms of action, scope, and effects. The entire second half of this film delivers some of the most badass action set pieces in Transformers history with every notable character, from the human characters to the Transformers, getting to play a big part in it, with Optimus Prime being at his most badass and Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime being just awesome. Sam Witwicky even has an engaging arc this time around for a man who just wants to matter in the world and his new girlfriend, while no Megan Fox, is pretty cool in her own right and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s acting is surprisingly not terrible. It’s still held back by most of the flaws with these Bay films along with Megatron being useless for 99.99% of the runtime and containing one of the most abrupt endings in recent memory (Seriously, no end of trilogy goodbye or anything!). Even so, Dark of the Moon is the only one of the Bay sequels that I was actually able to tolerate and find a good bit of enjoyment in. This is also the one where Michael Bay most certainly should have stop at.

Also, what in the world is the title of this film suppose to mean? Dark of the Moon?! What even is that?!

4.) Transformers

If we are rating this list based off pure nostalgia, I would rank this at #1, as it’s the Transformers film I have watched the most. I’m gonna sound like a hypocrite since I spent so much of this ranking bashing Michael Bay but I gotta admit, he certainly nailed it on his first try here. I don’t think anyone could forget the experience of seeing the Transformers on the big screen for the very first time and how satisfying it felt to watch in theaters. Yes, it puts a focus on the human characters first but that felt necessary since this was the first film the autobots and deceptions were on screen so having a main human lead guiding the picture felt natural. The action is spectacularly done, with the climax of the film being an all-timer, the special effects still hold up well to this very day, the soundtrack is great, the human cast blend very well with the Transformers and even the humor is actually quite funny here (every scene with Anthony Anderson always gets me cracking). You can definitely pick apart the overly complicated plot, the overlong runtime, and the overabundance of human characters (all of which would ONLY get worse in the sequels) but for what this movie needed to get right, Transformers (2007) was able to get right pretty well on the first try that I can easily overlook any faults.

And yes, Megan Fox is hotter than the sun in this movie and I crushed on her just as hard as any teen or pre-teen did in 2007 after seeing the film for the first time!

3.) Transformers: The Movie

The 1986 animated film that is based of the famous television series is certainly more than meets the eye. While on the surface it looks to be a harmless and inoffensive movie for kids that is completely design to sell toys, it’s actually a very touching and emotional tale of loss and grief with many established characters being killed off left and right, especially the ultimate fan favorite of Optimus Prime. If that doesn’t scream “balls of steel”, then I have no idea what does. The animation is also well done for it’s time with fun action, a great voice cast and a cool soundtrack throughout. It’s also nice to see human characters have a presence in a Transformers movie but does not completely steal the spotlight from the autobots themselves. It still has most of the same trappings that most of these “toy commercial” movies do and those who aren’t familiar with the animated series will likely be lost in terms of the plot but for the longest of time, Transformers: The Movie makes for one fun nostalgic movie that was as good of a Transformers movie as you could get.

And try not to cry when Optimus Prime dies! *sheds tear*

2.) Transformers One

While it does fall short in being the Into the Spider-Verse/The Last Wish/Mutant Mayhem animated gamechanger it clearly wants to be, Transformers One still delivers the action, laughs, and heart you could possibly want from an animated Transformers movie. The origins story of the early days of the Autobots is told remarkably well with hardly any beats feeling like they are in there just because it’s an origin story, the animation is gorgeous, all the Transformers get there own moments to shine, and the overall theme of different ideologies can get the best/worst out of us all is one that surprisingly works wonderfully for a Transformers movie. Plus, unlike Transformers One, you can jump right into the story and not feel lost. It does take a while to get going and the celebrity filled voice cast, while fun, definitely doesn’t hold a candle to previous voice cast for Transformers but for those that want an animated flick with our favorite autobots that has them front and center with no human presence to wear it down, Transformers One is definitely the Transformers movie for you.

1.) Bumblebee

As much as plenty of folks have fondness for the original 1986 animated movie and will (likely) have fondness for the latest animated movie, I still believe that Bumblebee is the best Transformers film to date. After Michael Bay ended his directing run of this series with an absolute whimper, Travis Knight was able to step in and deliver a Transformers movie that puts it’s characters and emotions first and action set pieces second! The plot does hit many of the same beats as the 2007 film along with tropes seen in other “kid befriends beasts/machines” story but it’s able to work to it’s advantages by making the best use of every single one of those beats and tropes. This Transformers riff of E.T. and The Iron Giants works wonderfully because it knows what made those movies works and how the best Transformer stories with human characters work, by having the main driving force between a human being and a robot car be the beating heart in all of it. Hailee Steinfeld is perfectly casted as Charlie Watson, easily the best human character in the series, and every scene between her and Bumblebee is so wholesome and serves greatly in their development. The action in the prologue is perhaps the best bit of action in any of these movies and the rest that is presented throughout the rest of the movie is very well done. Bumblebee is full of so much heart, energy, and passion that it’s genuinely a great film no matter what way you look at it. This is one of those movies that you just wish you can give a big hug too because it’s just that sweet and charming. Because of that and more, Bumblebee is the best Transformers film to date!

Also try not to cry when Charlie says goodbye to Bumblebee at the end of the film!

Tomb Raider (2013) Game Retrospective/Review

It boggles my mind that I have to use the word “retrospective” when describing the 2013 reboot of Tomb Raider. However, considering it’s been over a decade since that game’s release, I can’t help but feel like that is a proper term to describe just how much time has flown by since this game. Because of that, yeah! Welcome to my retrospective of Tomb Raider (2013).

Tomb Raider (2013) is an action-adventure game that was developed by Crystal Dynamics and published by Square Enix. This made for the 10th entry and acted as a reboot for the Tomb Raider franchise, acting as the first installment of the so-called “Survivor” trilogy, which put a big focus on retelling the origin story of Lara Croft, exploring the character in her early adventures.

Crystal Dynamics began development soon after the release of Tomb Raider: Underworld in 2008. Rather than a sequel to that, the team chose to reboot the series yet again, re-establishing the origins of Lara Croft for the second time, which they also did with Tomb Raider: Legend, and wanted to expand upon the character even further than they have had in their prior history. Camilla Luddington was hired to voice and do motion-capture performance as Lara Croft, replacing Keeley Hawes respectively.

Tomb Raider (2013) released on the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Windows on March 5th, 2013, later being ported to other consoles such as Xbox One, PlayStation 4, OS X, Linux, Shield TV, and Stadia, with extended editions of the game such as Game of the Year Edition and Definitive Edition. The game received universal acclaim from critics and gamers alike, with huge praise giving to the graphics, gameplay, and the development and characterization of Lara Croft herself. However, certain creative decisions such as making the actual tomb raiding mostly to optional side quests draw some criticism among the fanbase, with Crystal Dynamics putting more focus on action and stealth combat with the tomb raiding coming second. The game sold over 14.5 million copies by October 2021, making it the best-selling Tomb Raider game to date.

With the newest Netflix anime, Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft, set to come out next month, I went and took a look back at the recent reboot trilogy of Tomb Raider. After all, the series is confirmed to be set between the Survivor trilogy and the original series of games. Because of that, my next marathon will be to look back at Tomb Raider (2013), Rise of the Tomb Raider, and Shadow of the Tomb Raider to see how they have all held up years later.

Plot:

Set on Yamatai, a fictional lost island in the Dragon’s Triangle off the coast of Japan, we follow Lara Croft on her first ever adventure aboard the ship known as Endurance. Lara is a young woman that is looking to follow in her father’s footsteps in becoming an adventure, making discoveries and collecting hidden artifacts. Her first main objective is to find that lost kingdom hidden on Yamatai.

The Endurance is hit by a giant rain storm, causing the boat to sink completely. While Lara is able to escape from drowning to death, she is separated from her friends on the estranged island. As she searches for her friends, Lara soon discovers that the island is in fact inhabited, mostly by a violent cult named Solarii that worships Himiko, confirming the island is indeed Yamatai. Their leader is known as Mathias, who wants to everything in his power to earn the trust of Himiko.

As soon as Mathias discovers the presence of Lara and her friends, this puts them all in great danger. Lara’s best friend, Sam, is seen as great interest to the Solarii, who plans to offer her as a new host to Himiko’s spirit. As Lara meets up and reunites with other survivors, she must work with them to rescue any captured ones from the Solarii while also finding a way off the island. The crew with Lara include Whitman, Sam, Roth, Reyes, Jonah, Alex, and Grim.

As Lara Croft takes her first steps into becoming a strong adventure, she discovers that she must overcome immense adversity in order to save her friends and herself. That includes taking down enemies, using any methods of travel, using any scrap, items, or weaponry as she can, and doing everything in her power to survive against this deadly foe that is looking to wipe her out and her loved ones. It’s then that we get a first taste into Lara building a name for herself in becoming the legendary Tomb Raider.

What is most interesting about the story is that despise the game being called Tomb Raider, this is by in large an origin story of Lara Croft before getting the reputation as the Tomb Raider. Yes, the tomb raiding is in the game (which we will discuss in gameplay) but this is really a story about who Lara Croft is before that and what she is without that. While those might sound like unusual and risky ideas for a narrative on paper, Tomb Raider (2013) is able to make it work incredibly well.

The reason it all works is because of how well developed and characterized Lara Croft is as a character. This is arguably the most fleshed out version of the character throughout the character’s history. Seeing Lara go from being a fearful Curious George to a badass adventure is very exciting to see play out. The story really makes Lara Croft go through absolute hell and requires her to make the toughest choices imaginable in the means of surviving.

I especially like how, unlike most action heroes in games and movies, when Lara gets injured, she doesn’t just make a light grunt, shake it off, and get right back in the game. She clearly gets hurt and feels pain. Whenever she takes damage, she feels every bit of it. There are plenty of instances in the stories where you follow Lara while she is grunting in pain and needing to find a way to patch it up before it’s too late. It helps add to the human nature of the character and increases the stakes of the story to a near perfect degree.

Sure, there are definitely PLENTY of moments where it feels like Lara should have died and probably would have in real life but at the end of the day, it is a video game and Ms. Croft is able to make the best use of the traditional gaming plot armor. Even so, I do feel like Crystal Dynamics could have tone down the violence a little bit and not having it gain close to the violent “torture porn”.

When it comes to the supporting cast, it’s a mixed bag. Lara’s friends and crew are fun if not a bit basic. Outside of Whitman, none of them really change and grow throughout the game, really only showing up when the plot requires and to give Lara’s moments of optimism during her mission to save them and escape the island. They are likable enough where I did find myself wanting them all to survive to the end but most of their characters can be read like a book with not a single one of them being much of a page turner.

The main antagonists on the other hand, are quite weak. While having Lara going up against a violent cult is fitting for her first adventure, the bad guys she is forced to go up against could not be more bland and forgettable. There’s not much motivation or characterization behind them other than wanting to make their god/goddess happy and believing in certain morals that they think their ancestors would be proud off. I barely remember their names or any line of dialogue that stands out greater than these villainous religious cults in any games.

Aside from some minor issues with the supporting cast and villains, the narrative for Tomb Raider (2013) is very strong. You really feel the character development of Lara Croft the whole way through and seeing it all unfold is really satisfying to see. Lara is given the kind of arc that by the end, you almost can’t believe this is the same protagonist that we have been following all along. If that is not the sign of a really strong character arc, then I don’t know what is. Lara Croft’s journey along is enough to recommend at least watching all the cutscenes throughout the entire game but of course, the important part of a video game is in fact the gameplay.

Gameplay:

Tomb Raider (2013) is an action-adventure game played through a third person’s perspective. Players take control of Lara Croft herself, using an interconnected formula that combines action, adventure, exploration, stealth and survival elements. Players can traverse between the camps and across the entire island using footpaths, ziplines, and climbable tracks and walls. Many of Lara’s moves from prior games are carried over here with some minor tweaks added to it. Quick time events occur at regular intervals throughout the game, appearing at crucial points in the game’s plot where you are on the run, such as extracting a shard of metal and escaping a cave.

In terms of combat, the inspiration from Naughty Dog’s Uncharted series is clear as daylight but the game still does plenty of it’s own things to stand strong on it’s own two feet. The players have the ability to free-aim with Lara’s bow and the guns she collects. You will engage in close-quarter combat and perform stealth kills when coming up against enemies. The most helpful addition to this is Survival Instinct, an ability in which the presence of enemies, collectables, and objects to environmental puzzles will be highlighted and easy to spot. So even if you are familiar with Uncharted, Tomb Raider (2013) makes many tweaks and revisions to that combat formula which you will need to get the hang off in a way that you couldn’t with Uncharted.

The game incorporates role-playing elements that help with the progression of the game. As you go through the whole game, you earn experience points from performing certain actions and complete in-game challenges involving hunting, exploring and combat. This helps the skills and abilities to be upgrade in specific ways, such as giving Lara more storage capacity for arrows and ammo. You can also upgrade and customize weapons using scarps and materials that you collect across the island. The character progression system in the game helps with gaining better items, weapons, and equipment as you progress through the game. Even if certain items and weaponry can only be unlocked once you get to certain points of the story, there is not a single moment of this game where you should not have access to enough of them to progress through the game.

As for the actual tomb raiding itself, it’s mostly optional and only appear during side quests that don’t impact the main campaign. Player can complete multiple side quests as they explore the island and revisit certain locations. It’s only during these side mission which the challenge tombs can be searched for. There is more than enough of challenge tombs for any longtime fan of the series but these sections are NOT required to be played through in order to be the main story. It’s odd how a game called Tomb Raider, the actual tomb raiding itself plays secondary to the overall gameplay experience.

Even if the actual title of the game itself might be a bit misleading, the gameplay of Tomb Raider (2013) is absolutely top notch. I loved being in the shoes of Lara Croft in ways that I couldn’t have with any other prior Tomb Raider game. Lara has never felt more comfortable to control and more fun to play in terms of the game’s combat, platforming, and exploration. Seeing the character develop and unlocking many different skills along the way always made the gameplay stand out without feeling too repetitive or irritating. There is plenty of variety in terms of the items you use, the weapons you upgrade, and the costumes you are able to unlock. It helps enhance the replay value and motivates you to play through the whole game. I constantly found myself eager to unlock every single skill point that I possibly could because I wanted to unlock all the weapons and costumes that were available.

I loved going through every single set piece moment of the entire game, having that perfect feeling of cinematic escapism while also remembering that this is still an actual game. These sections feel right at home with an Indiana Jones adventure while still feeling proper for the adventure that we go with Lara Croft. If it wasn’t an intense stealth section that kept me on the edge of my seat, it was these jaw dropping sequences where our main female hero is pushed beyond her limits to survive.

If there is any mixed to weak aspects to the gameplay, that would mostly be the boss fights. They don’t play much differently than fighting regular enemies other than needing a few more hits to kill and another required automated section to give the impression it’s more different than it really is. It doesn’t help that the main villain is very weak and forgettable but the final showdown with him is rather anticlimactic in terms of gameplay. It misses that one last powerful punch that’s able to evaluate the game at the last possible moment.

I should also mention that there is also a multiplayer mode with this game. In each multiplayer match, there are two enemy teams: four survivors and four scavengers. And there are three different types of games for multiplayer with five different maps. These modes are Team Deathmatch, Private Rescue, and Cry for Help.

The first mode is a player vs player combat scenario, where teams are pitted against each other and whoever kills the opposing team in three separate matches is the winner. In the second mode, the “survivors” team must take medical supplies to a specific point on the map, while the scavengers must reach a certain number of kills, both within a time limit of ten minutes. The third mode, Cry for Help, involves the survivors for exploring the maps and retrieving batteries for defended radio beacons while being hunted by scavengers. Across all three modes, weapons and destroyable environments from the single-player mode are carried over.

Ngl, the multiplayer mode didn’t do anything for me. It feels like it tries to incorporate elements from other shooters out there such as Call of Duty and Battlefield along with trying to copy the multiplayer modes from Uncharted. However, there is just not as much polish put into this mode as with the single player mode and mostly comes across as a last minute addition, feeling like it was just thrown in there just for the sake of trying to give gamers more bank with their buck. I appreciate variety in video games but not when it feels like it’s something that the developers themselves really didn’t care to make. This did receive plenty of DLC which I will discuss later on in the review.

Aside from the tacked-on multiplayer mode and lackluster boss fights, I adore the gameplay of Tomb Raider (2013) to bits. It really felt nice and refreshing back in 2013 to put you in the hands of a female video game protagonist but also making her very satisfying to play as. The special abilities that Lara is giving and the maneuvers you are able to use with her makes her super convincing as a gaming action hero, constantly finding her own ways to take down enemies in ways that actually work for her character. Lara plays in a way that only she herself can stand out and not in the same ways of say…..Nathan Drake.

Yes, the challenge tombs not playing first and foremost to the gameplay might be infuriating to some but the combat, stealth, and exploration are all so well done that it’s genuinely hard to care. Power that along with a trophy/achievement system that will make you EARN every single award you get, Tomb Raider (2013) holds up greatly in terms of gameplay and delivers plenty of replay value, even after beating the main campaign.

Graphics:

Graphically, this game is FANTASTIC for a 2013 released game and still looks strong on the Definitive Edition many years later. It’s able to capture that realistic vibes that many games were starting to aim for back in the 2010s and makes you almost believe you are there with Lara on her journey. The rain and water effects looks about as convincing as it should, the characters move naturally and is certainly aided by top-notch motion capture, and it has a great, enhanced engine that helped make this game stand out not just back in 2013 but even now. While some might think the game looks too bleak, it fits for the tone that the game is going with along with the rather bleakness that Lara goes throughout the game.

It’s also refreshing to see Lara Croft herself actually look like a real woman instead of a plastic dog back in the original games. I get the developers back then were going for a more cartoon vibes with the original games but Lara’s more human and realistic design works perfectly for the rebooted games that are clearly for a much darker and realistic vibe. In that accounts, her design along with the designs for the rest of the characters are able to stand out about as well as they could.

Sound:

The voice work is absolutely outstanding overall. There’s not a single bad performance to be found here in terms of line delivery and motion capture but the real MVP is of course no other than Lara Croft herself, Camilla Luddington. Luddington really captures the younger side of Lara Croft perfectly, blending her vocal range and motion capture movements in the most convincing way imaginable. All respect to the other previous actresses for Lara respectively (ESPEICALLY by girl Angelina Jolie) but there’s something about Camilla Ludington that makes her the best Lara Croft to date imo. She’s able to capture that charm, energy, and depth of the character better than anyone ever has. I love me some Hayley Atwell but she’s got her work cut out for herself for The Legend of Lara Croft.

The soundtrack done by Jason Graves is remarkable all around. It has the exact time of music that can get your heart pumping and have you on the edge of your seat the whole way through. It feels like the type of soundtrack you would hear in any action movie, particularly Indiana Jones. My favorite track in particular is the one track that plays when you stop at a checkpoint next to the fire. It’s a nice little moving track that allows you to breathe for a split second before getting straight back into all of the intense action. With a score that is about as fist pumping and intense, having a track like that helps make it stand out greatly.

Downloadable Content:

Various amounts of small DLC were released with the game. At the game’s launch, Xbox Live users would get early access to the map pack titled “Caves and Cliffs”. The maps themselves contained the three new Tomb Raider multiplayer maps, entitled “Scavenger Caverns”, “Cliff Shantytown” and “Burning Village”. That pack would later become available for PSN and Steam users just a month later.

Other packs included, the “1939” multiplayer map pack that consists of two new multiplayer maps called “Dogfight” and “Forest Meadow”, a Japanese Language Pack on Steam, a multiplayer DLC pack called “Shipwrecked” that offered two additional maps in “Lost Fleet” and Himiko’s Cradle”, a single player outfit pack was released on Xbox Live, containing the Demolition, Sure-Shot and Mountaineer outfits.

Two versions that contained all the DLC were released in 2014. Those included the Game of the Year: Edition for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and PC and Definitive Edition for PlayStation 4 and Xbox One along with receiving an eventual release for Window in April 2024, exclusively on the Microsoft Store.

All of the DLC for Tomb Raider (2013) were strictly for multiplayer maps and player outfits. There was no story DLC or exclusive single player content. They were all mostly additions to add to one of the weaker aspects of the games in hopes of improving it. Considering I didn’t care for the multiplayer mode back then and now, I can’t say these DLC packs did anything for me. There’s nothing here that will enhance the gaming experience for supporters of the game nor is there anything that win any naysayers of it.

If you are curious to check the DLC out, the Game of the Year and Extended Editions should be much cheaper to buy than it was a decade ago. However, for me, it just seems like useless extras to justify pre-order/console exclusives and just random content made back when single player games felt the need to tack on a multiplayer mode, even if the game itself didn’t really acquire it.

Conclusion:

Tomb Raider (2013) is essentially a textbook example of a reboot done right! While it undoubtedly takes inspirations from the likes of Uncharted, the modern update of Lara Croft is able to embrace everything that fans have loved about Lara Croft over the years while also being able to stand by itself perfectly as it’s own unique thing. The graphics are breathtaking, the gameplay contains the perfect mix of combat, platforming, stealth, and exploration, the set pieces are terrific and genuinely cinematic in the best of ways, Camilla Luddington is perfect as the main video game heroine, and Lara herself has never a more compelling or engaging character than she has been here. While some might bark at certain aspects like the actual tomb raiding being secondary and being too overly violent just for the sake of it, the actual game itself has so much love, passion, and effort put into it that the game comes across as genuine and NOT neglect.

Opinions may vary on if the follow-ups were better than this one but this is definitely the most fresh, exciting, and action-packed that the Tomb Raider franchise has ever been. You would be hard pressed to find that freshness and novelty that 2013 has and the foundation it leaves perfectly for it’s future that you will just never find in any other adventure with Lara Croft. Whether one is a longtime fan of Tomb Raider or a newcomer to the series like I was back in 2013, I highly recommend Tomb Raider (2013) to fans and gamers alike.

Next Up: Rise of the Tomb Raider (2015)

Has Video Game Adaptions Gotten Bad Again?

Earlier this year, I did a piece arguing that video game adaptions have been mostly good recently and it’s okay to admit that. Around the time, Fallout debut on Amazon Prime to high critical and audience claim, with certain folks claiming that was the one that broke the video game adaption curse. Never mind the fact, that Arcane, The Last of Us, Mario, Sonic, Pokémon, and Cyberpunk: Edgerunners already existed before then. We can’t count those because that would go against the narrative that video game adaptions are ALWAYS bad and can never be good because…..they’re…..video game adaptions? It’s such an annoying trend to tear down or forget previous well received video game adaptions just to prop up the newest one, claiming THAT was the one that got it all right. I stated that I strongly believe that video game adaptions have been strong starting with the late 2010s to now currently in the 2020s with only a few missteps and that it was okay to admit that. Unfortunately, there has been some truly embarrassing work in the video game adaption subgenre that has made certain folks question the credibility of video game adaptions once again.

First off, there was last month’s release of Borderlands. the latest video game movie, released to an overwhelmingly negative critical reception and an absolute financial failure at the box office. It did just about everything you can possibly do with a video game adaption or even a proper film wrong. The narrative was absolutely disjointed, the action and PG-13 rated violence was absolutely subpar, none of the cast members had any chemistry with each other at all, and the editing was chopper than SpongeBob doing karate. For a movie that was trying so badly to be the Guardians of the Galaxy and/or Suicide Squad of video game movies, it tripped and constantly fell flat on it’s face every step of the way. It couldn’t even compete with a 15th year anniversary re-release of Coraline at the box office and has likely already made it’s way to digital and streaming because of how little money it has made at the box office.

Even so, despite how terrible Borderlands was, to most video games fans out there, this was simply one dud in a sea of consistently great video game adaptions for the last four to five years. The mediocrity of Uncharted wasn’t enough to overlook the awesomeness that was Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for example. Unfortunately, there is looking to be another dud of a video game adaption on the rise. While the movie itself doesn’t come out until Spring next year, the newest trailer for it was so bad that it had people already making up their minds already that another bad video game movie is coming, possibly confirming that video game adaptions are heading another dark path. Of course, I’m talking about the trailer…..for the Minecraft movie, or at the trailer titles is as…..A Minecraft Movie.

I’m not gonna discuss everything that is wrong with this trailer because 1.) I wouldn’t even know where to begin and 2.) the internet has already teared it apart a new asshole so there’s no point for me to do so. But, the fact that the main trailer has now surpassed 1 million dislikes on YouTube probably brings home the notion that folks are NOT looking forward to the new Minecraft movie. It’s easy to dismiss the majority of those as dislike bombing but I’m willing to assume the average YouTuber that was just genuinely to check out the Minecraft trailer were not impressed themselves. While there have been certain folks defending the trailer and the Minecraft movie as a whole, mostly for trivial matter such as being a movie made “for kids”, this upcoming video game adaption is about as controversial as the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie was when the first trailer debuted “Ugly Sonic” to the world (which the crew of Minecraft claimed they did NOT want that to happen). However, unlike Ugly Sonic, I don’t think there’s an easy fix to make the Minecraft movie appealing to the general public and we might just have another video game movie bomb on our hands for 2025.

These two latest additions to the video game movie canon has led people to debate the overall quality of video game adaptions at this very moment. Most notably, have they gotten bad again or if they were ever even good to begin with? Never mind the fact that we have Sonic 3 coming out on Christmas, never mind the fact that we have Arcane Season 2 coming soon, never mind the fact that we got a new Tomb Raider anime coming with the G.O.A.T. Hayley Atwell voicing Lara Croft, and ESPECIALLY never mind the fact we got the Fallout Amazon series earlier this year, which many regarded as one of the best, if not the best, video game adaption of all time. Never mind all of that…all because Borderlands was terrible and Minecraft is looking to be terrible.

This discourse over the current state of video game adaptions is similar to that of the discourse over the current state of DreamWorks animation. Yes, the tv folks made a shitty low-budget Megamind sequel and the movie folks made an iffy, short budget Kung Fu Panda sequel that was a decent box office and critical hit anyway. Even with how good The Wild Robot looks, you got folks claiming that DreamWorks has gotten “downhill” because every movie they’ve put out for the past couple of years has NOT been a Puss in Boots: The Last Wish level masterpiece. Never mind the fact that this is the same company that has always been kinda inconsistent with it’s quality, such as when they released Shrek 2 and Shark Tales in the EXACT same year! We have to forget all of that because we got to make a hundred different YouTube videos about how DreamWorks sucks now because….negativity and clickbait are the only things that sells nowadays.

This is the similar reaction that I’ve been seeing regarding the state of video game adaptions after Borderlands and Minecraft. The sky is falling, nothing matters anymore, nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everyone is gonna die. All because a movie that had been in development hell for years and suffered from multiple reshoots turned out to be a shitty movie and a movie that likely had a similar development history and production will likely turn out to be a shitty movie. All of that hard work from the likes of Arcane, The Last of Us, Fallout, Mario, Pokemon, and Sonic has been flushed down the drain. We are now back in the ages of shitty video game adaptions.

Keep in mind, this is not what I’M saying but what OTHERS folks are saying right now.

Personally, I don’t buy it. Every medium, no matter how successful they are or even in their peak form, will have it’s bad moments. The original runs of SpongeBob SquarePants and The Fairly Odd Parents had bad episodes. The Marvel Cinematic Universe during Phases 1 through 3 had bad installments. There’s probably even a certain someone out there that think the worst episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender wasn’t just a mere 7/10 that most people say it is but a legit bad episode in of itself. There will always be cracks in the armor in some way, shape, or form for any successful brand. Yes, you can definitely argue that Borderlands and Minecraft are way more than just cracks in the armor but you can take any good video game adaption in recent memory to replace that armor completely and you are good to go.

Borderlands and Minecraft just seem like products that were destined to fail from the get go. Whether it’s because of a crappy development cycle or not knowing what to do with the actual source material they had, it was just never meant to be. There’s still plenty of other video game adaptions in 2024 and beyond to be excited for. I can’t see into the future but I’m pretty confident that Sonic 3 will deliver a peak Shadow and expand the fanbase of the Blue Blur even further, the upcoming Tomb Raider anime could make for a nice bridge between the rebooted trilogy and the classic trilogy with Lara Croft, and Arcane: Season 2 will be able to properly stick the landing for it’s amazing storyline. If at least one or two of those things happen, then it will be easier to dismiss Borderlands and Minecraft as being individual video game adaption failures that no longer need any focus on.

To answer the question of the title of this post, unless every video game adaption is bad from here on out, I don’t think the failure of Borderlands and the potential failure of Minecraft should change the narrative of video game adaptions being bad. If folks can just push these failures to the side just like they did with Uncharted, Monster House, and Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City (I actually like this one but I know MANY people did NOT!) and put the proper spotlight on the likes of Sonic 3, Mario 2, and The Last of Us Season 2, then we will all be just fine. It’s only the folks that led Borderlands and Minecraft be the end all, be all for them that they can say that video game adaptions have gotten bad again.

Fingers crossed that Control and Alan Wake don’t suffer similar fate!

Also, fyi, I do legit hope for the best for the Minecraft movie because I do think there’s unlimited potential for that as a movie. But that first trailer was just……….ROUGH!

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) Movie Review- Burton and Keaton (Mostly) Still Has The Juice

Long awaited sequels are always destined to be a no-win scenario no matter what. If you make something that is close to the spirit of the original and hit the same beats, people will complain that it’s not original and more of the same stuff. If you make something that does something drastically different from the original and hit beats you don’t expect, people will complain that it’s not the original and went too much against the grain. There are certainly exceptions to that, most recently with Top Gun: Maverick, but it’s mostly only that….exceptions. Then comes long awaited sequels like Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (I better not type his name a third time!), which not only draws a fine line between being similar and different to the original at the same time but also tries to throw every single idea that it can at you to let you know why it took as long for it did to come out. And the results usually tends to be…..all over the map.

What makes Beetlejuice Beetlejuice stand out more than other legacy sequels out there is how it’s strengths and flaws isn’t strictly due to the over amount of fan service and callbacks itself contains (which there definitely are) but more of the newer elements that it’s tries to tackle in there to make this 36-year long anticipated sequel an enjoyable if not incredibly uneven ride. While Tim Burton and Michael Keaton certainly feel right at home in their respective roles as director and Beetlejuice himself respectively, it’s the amount of new characters and subplots that make Beetlejuice Beetlejuice stick out in both the best and worst ways possible.

Premise: Three generations of the Deetz family return home to Winter River after an unexpected family tragedy. Still haunted by Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton), Lydia’s (Winona Ryder) life soon gets turned upside down when her rebellious teenage daughter (Jenna Ortega) discovers a mysterious portal to the afterlife. When someone says Beetlejuice’s name three times, the mischievous demon gleefully returns to unleash his very own brand of mayhem.

There are plenty of things that stand out throughout the course of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. You have Tim Burton trying to go back in time to the 1980s, delivering the same dark fantasy horror comedy thrills he did back in those glory days, you have Michael Keaton slipping back into the role of the title character like he never left it, you have an entire supporting cast both old and new that bring a certain level of energy to this completely energized world that Burton himself created. However, the main thing that stands out is the number of new elements the film wants to tackle to make the sequel stand out equally or even better than the original but can never make the time to do all of them justice.

You have Lydia about to get married while still being haunted by her past involving Beetlejuice and conflicting with her mother, you have Beetlejuice himself being haunted by his own past with the emergence of his ex-wife Delores, you have Lydia’s daughter being forced to come to her senses that ghosts are real along with hanging out with a new boy in town, and you even have a ghost detective, who was once a B movie star, trying to stop all of the madness that is happening on screen. There are ton of different story elements and characters that come together and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice tries to do every single one of these elements justice….with very mixed results.

The big occurring problem is how little each one of these subplots connect one another, almost feeling like four different episodes of a Beetlejuice series crammed into one overarching movie. Because of that, every so often one of these subplots ends up getting tossed in the closet completely to focus on the other ones, only reappearing when the movie says so.

You have a grand introduction with Monica Bellucci’s Delores who then completely disappears to the sideline for the majority of the middle act to focus on other problems that Beetlejuice and other characters are facing. You have Willem Dafoe chewing up the scenery with his side villain character, only for that to not be very relevant until the last third of the movie. You have a love interest for Jenna Ortega’s Astrid that completely gets thrown out of the picture until the last moment once something interesting with that character occurs, making it seem like the character only exists as an excuse for Astrid to enter the afterlife and for one hilariously disgusting gag.

To put it simply, there is too much going on in terms of the plot and 105 minutes is just not enough time to make all of these new elements work as well as the film clearly wants to. It makes me wonder if a director’s cut is on the rise and the film we see right now in theaters is strictly studio mandate to make sure the sequel has a similar runtime as the original.

Thankfully, the film’s main saving grace can be contributed back to the main elements that made the original stand out as well as it did, one of those being Tim Burton. Burton is able to successfully translate the horror and black comedy elements that he is well known for and make it work fluently into a Beetlejuice sequel released in 2024. While there are certainly references to modern times scattered throughout, this seems like a movie that it’s own DNA could have fit very well back in the 1980s which it originated from. Whatever script issues can be found is totally made up with Burton’s commitment to crafting creative effects, zany humor, and the energy-filled juice to make this for an enjoyable time.

The other main element that works wonders here is Michael Keaton back as Beetlejuice. While roughly having the amount of screentime as he did in the original, his presence on screen is more evenly spread out this entire time, making Beetlejuice himself not wear out his welcome and still be a riot to watch every time he is on screen. Even though there will certainly be a debate as to whether or not the character should have a meaningful arc and be tweaked to fit more in the “politically correct” times (which it does NOT btw), Beetlejuice still makes for one of the most funny, scary, and purely entertaining antagonists in horror movie history.

The rest of the cast of both old and new always equipped themselves admirably into the creative and mind blowing world of Beetlejuice. Winona Ryder is still an enjoyable presence, making Lydia’s transformation from being a former Goth teen to a hostess of a live reality show feel very organic for the character. Jenna Ortega is able to provide the right amount of depth to the character that she brought in Wednesday, even if her character here is much more one-note, and prove she’s a new Gen Z star in the making. Willem Dafoe is good in just about anything he does so him playing a more over-the-top chaotic version of Two-Face is a no-brainer for him. Monica Bellucci makes every single minute of her limited screentime worth it as Beetlejuice’s bitter ex-wife. And I whole hardly enjoyed Danny DeVito role here as the best/worst janitor ever.

The production values are quite spot-on for the most part. You can definitely tell that Burton had a vision of making his sequel feel right at home visually and aesthetically as his top films in the 1980s while still making sure it properly translates to the 2020s. The designs for the after-life ghosts and monsters are top-notch that it will likely have one person dressing up as them for Halloween, the afterlife world is always super amusing and fun to explore, there’s plenty of disgusting visuals and gore that fit right into the oddball tone that the movie is going for, and Danny Elfman has not missed a beat with his marvelous score here. Even if certain visuals and attention to other animation styles don’t flow as well as they probably should, it feels appropriately out of place enough in the world of Beetlejuice that it’s easy to let those slide.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is most certainly an imperfect legacy sequel but that might just be part of it’s charm. Even if it’s yet another example of Hollywood scrapping down the bottom of the barrel and chasing as much nostalgia dollars as it can, there’s never a moment on screen where Tim Burton’s own voice and passion is not shown through the entire one hour and 45 minutes of film. I just only wish that vision felt more cohesive and flown better together in terms of the different plot elements and characters the film throws at you.

For those that are just looking for a decent excuse to revisit the world of Beetlejuice or looking for a proper flick to get you in the right Halloween mood, you will likely have a good time. For those that were looking for sequel that is better or on par with the original, you might be quite disappointed. For those that want to see Tim Burton going back to what he did best in the 1980s and throw as much visuals and ideas on screen as he can, it can go either way.

However, I would argue the most important question to all of this is whether or not Tim Burton and Michael Keaton still has the juice with Beetlejuice. Considering my answer is yes, that might just be good enough for me, even if I wanted something a bit more.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge On The Run (2020) Perspective

SpongeBob was able to pick up another movie with his third film entry, The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run. Originally slated for a worldwide theatrical release, the rise of the Covid-19 pandemic made things much more complicated. The film received a theatrical release in Canada on August 14, 2020 and digitally on Netflix in other regions on November 5th, 2020. It wasn’t until March 4, 2021 where the movie got a full release in America, releasing as a premium video-on-demand offering and airing as a launch title for Paramount Plus. It was directed by Tim Hill, who also received credited for story and screenplay.  Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, the writers of the previous SpongeBob movie, Sponge Out of Water, returned as well to come up with the story with Mr. Hill. The film is dedicated to the show’s creator Stephen Hillenburg, who passed away in 2018 from Lou Gehrig’s disease, and also served as a executive producer until his unexpected death.

Similar to the first two SpongeBob films, it received generally positive reviews from critics, praising the animation and the loyalty to the franchise. However, it did not get the same love from the fans and audiences, with many taking issues of the retcons being made to the previously established continuity, mainly how SpongeBob met his friends, and feeling like the whole movie was just one giant advertisement for the Kamp Koral spin-off show, a series which had just ended this year. For it’s limited theatrical release, it managed to make just 4.8 million dollars against it’s 60 million dollar budget. Despite the mixed to negative reactions from fans, it likely would have made much more if it’s weren’t for the pandemic.

Before the release of Sponge on the Run, things felt very uncertain about what the future of SpongeBob would consist of and if it had lost all of it’s remaining staying power and will. Yes, the series did see a revival with Seasons 9-11 and a bit with Sponge Out of Water, but this all came before the biggest possible tragedy for the show occurred, that being the passing of the creator of SpongeBob SquarePants himself, Stephen Hillenburg. With him having a hand-in guidance to Seasons 10, 11, and part of 12, it felt like he was the only person that could give SpongeBob the second leash on life that Nickelodeon wanted for their brand. With Hillenburg’s unexpected death and the announcement of multiple SpongeBob spin-offs in the works shortly after, Sponge On The Run didn’t really fill a lot of people with confidence. And……they were mostly right.

Even in the wake of Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie being the new whipping boy in town for fans and the animation community to take their turns whipping repeatedly, Sponge On The Run just doesn’t work in any way, shape, or form. That being said, when rewatching it again, I couldn’t help but see the germs of a potentially good SpongeBob film here. It made me think how this film would have looked before Stephen Hillenburg died.

In case anyone doesn’t know, the original title and concept for the third SpongeBob movie was The SpongeBob Movie: It’s a Wonderful Sponge. It was set to be it’s own spin on the classic movie, It’s A Wonderful Life, where SpongeBob enters an alternate universe of how Bikini Bottom would operate without his presence, with Keanu Reeves being the main guide that would follow SpongeBob throughout his journey. The movie would also dive deeper into the origin story of SpongeBob and the Bikini Bottom as a whole than any previous SpongeBob movie. In many respects, this would be like the Shrek: Forever After of SpongeBob movies.

However, around the time It’s A Wonderful Sponge was in the works, the Kamp Koral spin-off series was in the works and Nickelodeon was wanting to let people know about that. During the development of the third movie, Nick demanded that the cast and crew to use that the film to advertise Kamp Koral and have the movie tie-in to that spin-off series. Stephen Hillenburg refused, claiming he wanted the movie to be it’s own thing and have nothing to do with Kamp Koral. Nick then backed off and left him alone. It was shortly after Stephen’s passing that Nick had the cast and crew of the third movie, which was already in it’s early stages of storyboarding, scrapped the whole It’s A Wonderful Sponge premise into something else. They wanted a new script started from scratch that would advertise Kamp Koral and give Keanu Reeves a lesser role to work with. Because of all of that, we got Sponge On The Run instead of It’s A Wonderful Sponge.

I don’t know how accurate all of that information is considering these were just rumors I read about what went wrong from behind the scenes but that would all make sense to me. Because when watching Sponge On The Run, you got the sense that it was meant to be something else entirely. Not just in terms of plot, character, and story, but just have it’s own beating heart to it and making for a bittersweet culmination of the past 20+ years of SpongeBob, similar to how the first SpongeBob movie acted as a culmination of the first three seasons. However, because Nickelodeon was more concerned about advertising Kamp Koral than making a good movie, this is what we got.

Before discussing the things I actually liked or thought could have worked, let’s discuss the main negatives that fans tend to bring up regarding this movie.

First off, the story is…….non-existent. It’s nothing more than the plots of several different SpongeBob mediums with practically no connective tissue to tie it all together in a cohesive way. There’s so much of this barley there plot that is basically “been there, done that”. SpongeBob searching to find Gary? Check! SpongeBob going on a grand adventure with Patrick to find something that could cost them their lives? Check! Seeing the aftermath of Bikini Bottom when SpongeBob is not there? Check! The characters driving in a burger car? Check! A change in status quo by the end that will likely not matter much in the grand scheme of things because of Nickelodeon desire to keep the show going or else they will be dead? Check-er-aoo! When the story is not being bogged down by a bunch of filler and awkwardly implemented teases for Kamp Koral, it’s just throwing in plot elements from other, better SpongeBob material without understand why those individual stories worked in the first place.

Speaking of which, the Kamp Koral segments are the most forced and poorly implemented parts of any movie that I have ever seen. There is not a single part involving Kamp Koral that feels natural, earned, or fitting in the movie in the slightest. Every time those segments appear on screen, it’s like the movie is pausing for intermission and claiming that “WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM TO GIVE YOU A SNEAK PEEK OF THIS SPIN-OFF SERIES THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR OR WANTS!”. I don’t care if you are making a SpongeBob spin-off, Nickelodeon! That only makes me want to watch even less when you shove it in my face. If you thought the Avengers teases in Iron Man 2 and Age of Ultron were bad or even the Justice League tie-ins in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, the Kamp Koral sections in Sponge on the Run makes those look like a perfectly fitting puzzle piece in comparison.

And the biggest offender to fans is the way that the film rewrites how SpongeBob meet his friends, only for the sake of tying in Kamp Koral to the SpongeBob mythos.

Remember how the first episode established that SpongeBob met Sandy when she was an adult? Instead, they both actually met at summer camp when they were kids, which I guess Sandy already made her way underwater when she was just a little squirrel girl.

Remember how the first episode also made it seem like SpongeBob first met Mr. Krabs or was the most familiar with him when he went to apply for a job at the Krusty Krab? Instead, they both met a summer camp when SpongeBob was a kid and Mr. Krabs was a young adult, even tho Mr. Krabs has to be like 30 years older than SpongeBob and looks more like….five or ten years older here.

Remember how Truth or Square established that SpongeBob first met Squidward when he moved in right next door to him, where SpongeBob politely introduces himself to Squidward when he first sees him? Instead, they both met a summer camp when they were kids, where SpongeBob tries to cheer Squidward up after losing a contest to him by giving him his trophy, even tho Squidward didn’t earn it in any way.

Oh, and I guess Mrs. Puffs first met SpongeBob when he attended summer camp and not when he attended boating school?

And that was also where SpongeBob and Patrick first met as well. Actually, I could perfectly buy that and that’s the only supposed first meeting here that actually makes sense.

I know certain folks out there will claim that I am just exaggerating here and that SpongeBob is not a series where you should take continuity all that seriously. The problem here is that these include elements added to the SpongeBob mythos from the start or in a main episode event with no ifs or buts about it. This isn’t some trivial matter like SpongeBob’s perfect attendance in school or work, it’s part of the main foundation that the series has established. And it’s basically only being done just for Nick to justify having the Kamp Koral series play a part in SpongeBob’s history.

Now, that those things are out of way, here’s how I think Sponge On The Run COULD have worked.

First off, the animation is absolutely STUNNING. Even though it’s a completely different animation style for SpongeBob than ever before, it actually works very well here. It makes everything so bright and colorful and leaves room for crafting the kind of animation and set pieces that no SpongeBob medium has ever had before. Heck, you could have used some of the set pieces from Sponge Out of Water that I thought were kinda lackluster and it would have worked much more fondly here. I wouldn’t go as far to say that it’s my favorite animation style for SpongeBob nor one do I care to see for every new SpongeBob thing going forward but in Sponge On The Run‘s case, it works incredibly well.

Secondly, the movie would be a least slightly coherent if they at least decided to just use ONE story element/idea they had for the third movie instead of a million all at once and still set up Kamp Koral in a way that Nickelodeon would have like. You could have gone with the original idea for It’s A Wonderful Sponge but also show an alternate universe where SpongeBob first met his friends at summer camp and have that contrast with the universe that SpongeBob has always been a part of. You could have use the plot of finding Gary and also have SpongeBob run into his own summer camp, where he remembers first meeting Gary and starting an alternate timeline where that is where SpongeBob met all of his friends. Heck, you could have just made the entire movie be about SpongeBob being a camp counselor at Kamp Koral, A.K.A. his childhood summer camp. If you did any one of those plots, this movie would have made much more sense and felt much more cohesive than the finished product.

However, there is not one aspect of this movie that perfectly displays the complete wasted potential in Sponge on the Run than the scene in the climax where all of the main characters come to SpongeBob’s defense during his public execution. This is the moment that is practically design to make or break not just your movie but your entire franchise up to this point. It’s a moment where all of the main side characters of SpongeBob come together and tell SpongeBob and the audience directly what he has meant to them for the past 20+ years. If done right, this scene could have made for a perfect culmination of the past two decades of the sponge and be a proper resolution for the whole series up to this point.

While that was perhaps the intention of the filmmakers, it’s the things that Nickeldeon forced in there that makes this scene break the entire movie instead of making it. Instead of feeling like a bittersweet way for the characters to describe how important SpongeBob is to Bikini Bottom and themselves, it’s ruined by constant flashbacks to Kamp Koral, where you have the characters disregarding everything that has happened in the past and at the moment just to give a wink to the audiences that a new SpongeBob spin-off series is in the works. This happens like four to five times, feeling like a parody of those Family Guy sketches where they cut to a random gag out of nowhere. The difference though is that while those sketches from Family Guy are meant to get a laugh or two from the audiences, the Kamp Koral sections come during a moment where the audience is suppose to be taking everything seriously.

I repeat, these Kamp Koral section take place during a moment where SpongeBob is on his death trial and his friends have to talk the King and everyone there to NOT execute him. This could have been the scene that saved the entire picture or at least have it end on a strong note. This could have been the scene that justified this film’s existence. This could have been the scene that celebrated the long history of SpongeBob SquarePants while giving it a fitting stopping point. Instead, this one scene brings everything down so hard that it’s impossible to recover from.

In Conclusion

There are plenty of other things I can talk about with Sponge on the Run that has been talked about in length by hardcore fans. Like how the film acts like snails are incredibly rare now in the ocean despite the show having plenty of different snails in multiple episodes. Or that SpongeBob and Patrick can go into a casino even tho they are technically still kids. Or how SpongeBob literally now has a name for his stove at work. Or how SpongeBob literally says the word, “crappy”. But honestly, they have been talked about so much that there’s not much I can add to that.

It’s hard to know what Sponge On The Run would have been like if Stephen Hillenburg was still alive throughout the entire production. Outside of a different title and premise, I would believe the third SpongeBob film would have acted as a perfect love letter to the entire first two decades of the show’s existence. It would have been a lovely reminder as to why kids and audiences fell in love with this yellow sponge and why he’s as important to animation and pop culture as he is. While there are definitely hints at that throughout Sponge On The Run, it can never escape that sense of cynicism and studio meddling that I imagine Tim Hill and crew really wanted to break out of.

What’s most unfortunate about Sponge On The Run is the path forward that SpongeBob has taken since this film’s release. The kind of path that proves that Nickelodeon doesn’t have a clue of what to do with the yellow sponge we all know and love without Stephen Hillenberg. And I will go into EXACTLY that path next month.

Next Month: The “New Bad” Era (Season 12-Present)

Ranking M. Night Shyamalan’s Movies

This month saw the release of M. Night Shyamalan’s new film, Trap. With that, this beloved/despised director now has 15 films in his massive filmography. Regardless of what you can say about the man as a director, you can’t deny there is no other man in Hollywood quite like him. The man is basically his own unique beast of a filmmaker, now allowing himself to spend the quarter of his yearly salary to finance his own personal projects that give him permission to play in his own sandbox in front of the camera for the whole world to see. Whether the movie is good or bad, you always know you are watching an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Even if he is someone that everyone is aware of his tropes and reputation, something which even Shyamalan himself seems to be WAY too aware of nowadays, his movies are always so fascinating to watch and talk about because of it.

With that, let’s take a look back at every single one of his directed films and rank them from worst to best. Time to take this quality-like trip down memory lane!

15.) The Last Airbender

One of the most hated films ever to be released in cinema is absolutely deserving of all the scorn it gets! Despite trying so hard to be as faithful to a t to the beloved Nickelodeon animated series as possible, it ends up sucking out all the fun, joy, heart, and spirit that the show ever had.

With the way the film plays out with trying to squeeze the plot of an entire season of a tv show into an hour and 45 minute film, it was basically doomed from the start. However, when you added in actors who are massively miscast in their roles (And that’s not strictly because of the producer’s obsession to casting literally the whitest actors possible for these roles), replace the banter and character development with non-stop exposition, and effects that look more appropriate for a fan film rather than one spend a million dollars on, you have one truly awful and underwhelming picture. Not to mention, they couldn’t even be bothered to get the names of some of the characters right (It’s “Aang!” Not “Aung!”).

Admittedly, it’s hard to blame strictly Shyamalan for this train wreck because it’s clear that not every single choice made in this film was his as there was plenty of obvious studio meddling that plagued this mess. Even so, I don’t there there has been a film that has sunk M. Night’s reputation quite like this. It sunk it so hard that he might never, ever get it back again.

14.) Lady In The Water

Now, here’s a movie you can 100% fault Shyamalan for as it’s clear that his fingerprints are all over this abomination. And that’s not even going into the scene near the end where M. Night basically plays a self-insert version of himself and proclaims he’s gonna save the world from evil critics who dared to criticize The Village.

While there’s at least a tiny more creativity put into the world building and certain elements than The Last Airbender, almost none of it is put to good use. You have a great, recognizable cast that turn in some absolutely terrible performances, the plot and logic is basically non-existent and falls apart once you think about it for a split second, and how in the world can you make a movie about magic mermaids and such so unbelievably boring.

Even if you are someone that didn’t hate The Village or M. Night prior movies before this one and even take pride at taking shots at professional film critics, this film is just way too smug, ego-filled, and pretentious for you to get behind. This is arguably the first official dud that Shyamalan had ever put out that pretty much everyone agrees was a disaster!

13.) After Earth

Yet another incredibly silly but also somehow overly serious sci-fi journey that somehow manages to walk a fine line between unintentionally entertaining but also somehow painfully dull at the same time. To quote Honest Trailers, this was perhaps Will Smith’s biggest mistake since turning down The Matrix (at least until his infamous Oscar slap would shock the world).

Despite technically being an original sci-fi story, there is hardly any new actual elements to it. It has the exact same sort of characters and tropes you’ve seen a million times before and seen done a million times better in other things. The chemistry that Will Smith had with his son Jaden in The Pursuit Of Happiness is no where to be found here, which makes you shocked that these two are even related in real life. And I’m fairly certain if you told me the script did not receive a single re-write and was turned in after just one draft, I would certainly believe you.

This admittedly could have worked if it just stuck to it’s original premise and not feel the need to add in a bunch of other ridiculous elements but it pretty much falls flat in every way it possibly could. If The Last Airbender didn’t make you lose complete faith in Shyamalan, then After Earth might have finished the job for you.

12.) Glass

M. Night was making somewhat of a comeback before this one came out. His last two films were fairly well received and just one more after that could have potentially brought back on the map as a director we can all take seriously again. Oh…..what could’ve been!

2019 was a year filled with underwhelming endings to well-known franchises minus the big one with superheroes and this was no exception. It’s baffling how Glass takes a potentially exciting cross-over/finale and manages to turn it into a completely pointless slog that undermines everything that came before. With too much time spend in the hospital hearing the same, repetitive talking scenes over and over again about how these superpower folks aren’t really that super, an incredibly disjointed narrative, and a resolution that makes the main bad guys look like the dumbest idiots ever, you could not have made a more disappointing finale if you tried.

Sure, it’s well-shot, James McAvoy is still as awesome as ever in the role, and I’m sure there are folks who gave it bonus points for it’s so-called “bold” choices it makes towards the third act but very little actually works from a storytelling or character perspective. It’s baffling how just about the commentary and deconstruction elements that worked so well in Unbreakable just does not work here whatsoever.

11.) The Happening

I’m not gonna lie, if I was rating this in terms of entertainment value, this would probably be much higher on the list. This is hands down one of the most entertainingly bad movies ever made. From the direction to the acting to the dialogue to the script, there is so much for you to be entertained by and laugh at how ridiculous this is that it’s hard not to recommend it because of that. From an objective standpoint, however, it’s still really darn bad.

The premise is actually quite a solid one for a supposed B movie. The problem is that Shyamalan takes the material so seriously that it can’t be judge strictly for being an over-the-top schlock movie because it’s clearly trying to be something more than that. It actually thinks it’s telling a deep, dark story about death, suicide, and brutality that is going for the Oscar. But because the dialogue is so terribly written, none of the characters act like human beings, and the actors act like they are in a complete different movie than the one they are actually in, it’s impossible to take anything seriously because nothing feels real or genuine.

At this point, M. Night was not only starting to lose his pride but was becoming an unintentional parody of himself. Watching The Happening is like the equivalent of watching a deadly car crash, it’s awful and terrible to see but your eyes are glued to the accident the entire way through and you just can’t help to not look away.

10.) Wide Awake

Believe it or not, The Sixth Sense was actually not the first film in M. Night’s filmography. That was actually whatever the hell this is that made it’s way into cinema in 1998. And tbh, even with it’s absurdly twist ending, you would be hard pressed to find out that Shyamalan actually directed this movie.

There is some occasional wit and charm to it along with a couple of touching moments but much of Wide Awake screams “first time director” and not in a good way. The whole experience feels too hollow and all over the place to be engaging all the way through with not having a clear idea as to who the movie was aimed for. Also, despite what the poster of the movie would indicate, baseball has very little to do in this movie and the two characters that appear on there have hardly any screen time together.

Releasing just one year before The Sixth Sense, this has that sense of a movie being solely made solely for M. Night to get his foot through the door and so he could go onto making a movie he would much prefer to make. Not a lot of people remember this as it’s first film and it’s probably for the best that it stays that way.

9.) Knock At The Cabin

The newest feature film from Shyamalan is well shot and has a handle of good performances, with the main stand-out being Dave Bautista, that helps make it watchable but unfortunately fails to be engaging or interesting because how tame the whole experience is. Almost as if M. Night is beginning to run out of ideas.

That’s not even going into how rather homophobic the movie is given it never tries to offer a satisfying resolution to the main queer couple, twists that are so obvious I’m not even sure you could actually call it twists, and even the actual “world ending” stakes presented feel about as inconsequential as that of a mission in a Grand Theft Auto game. By the time we get to the bleak and unceremonious end, you just wonder what exactly the movie itself is trying to accomplish other than with the message of how the Old Testament is right in that the world would be better off without gay people.

I don’t think there’s a M. Night Shyamalan movie that left me shrugging my shoulders than this one. Even the negative points aren’t ones that are worth thinking to deeply into because the movie itself doesn’t even try to do so. It just lacks it’s own value and substance which makes it’s brief runtime feel longer than it really is and it lays out a big surface that it doesn’t even bother to scratch. It’s as if M Night has finally met his match, being unable to shock the world any longer. In that case, then Knock At The Cabin does at least make for a rather unique metaphor of it’s own, even if it’s a tame one.

8.) Old

Here’s one that manages to display the very best and very worst of M. Night Shyamalan. When Old is playing around with it’s own “time flies” premise and does bizarre, interesting things with it, it’s an absolute blast of schlock value. When it actually tries to be deep and throw as many thought provoking messages into the mix as it can, that’s where it falters.

The craftsmanship is great, it movies at a good pace, it contains some of the most unique imagery and sequences in any Shyamalan movie, and is among the few times where letting M. Night without some sort of restraint is actually for the better. It even does a good job of showcasing just how fast life can go and why you should live it to your fullest potential. Just too bad M. Night just can’t seem to get out of his own damn way by feeling the need to be deeper and more complex than it should be along with including a third act twist just because that’s an absolute staple to his filmography at this point.

I can’t say this movie isn’t entertaining or even engaging at times but I also can’t say it completely worked because of how back and forth it is with what goal it wants to achieves and the ways it actually wants to achieve it. Old containing both the highest of the high and the lowest of the low of M Night’s filmography, which make it sit comfortably right in the middle of quality in this ranking.

7.) The Village

This is probably the only “bad” M. Night Shyamalan movie that I find myself defending. After hitting three home runs in a row with The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs, expectations were high that the great M. Night would be able to hit a grand slam like he’s Babe Ruth with his next trip up to the plate. Instead, this is more like a sacrifice fly with the bases loaded when you are still down by multiple runs in a game. You technically got the job done there to keep your team in the game but you were expecting to at least get a bases clearing extra base hit, if not a grand slam.

That’s not to say The Village is anywhere close to perfect. It’s way too slow for it’s own good, too ham-fisted in it’s political themes, and the final twist doesn’t feel anywhere near as earned as it did in his last three movies. However, it also has intriguing world building, actors that fit quite well in their roles, and Roger Deakins proving once again why he’s a top-tier cinematographer. Also, unlike with most his later work, you don’t really get that sense of smugness here and actually feels like it’s something for anyone to get something out of.

While it’s a shame that The Village couldn’t make for the perfect quadrilogy for M. Night, it still not an absolute failure over all. It’s an intriguing film that has plenty of redeemable qualities even if it is frustrating that it can’t quite reach greatness. I get the feeling has this movie came out at any other different time than they did, people would be much nicer to it.

6.) The Visit

At the time this movie came out, it was instantly held as a return to form for M. Night Shyamalan. A reason to hope for the man who practically invented spoiler alerts would be able to return to form after so many failures over the past decade plus. Are these people right? Well, yes and no.

It’s definitely refreshing to see M. Night go back to smaller scale and low budget flicks after a handful of terrible blockbusters he directed. Most of the tropes that has become accustom to actually works quite well here, there’s a handful of story elements that get satisfying if not disgusting payoffs, and even the twist, while obvious, makes sense and helps to add tension during your initial and on repeat viewings with how the kids are going to deal with their supposed grandparents. Where the movie doesn’t work is when it goes too far with it’s black comedy or tries too hard with jump scares that don’t go anywhere. And I can’t stand the rapping…..at all.

It doesn’t completely work but The Visit does at least do a good job at foreshadowing the direction that M. Night would be taking with his future films and how it was start of a new era for him. While more missteps was sure to come, it was nice to see himself get another leash on life by reinventing himself as a filmmaker with this mildly entertaining flick.

5.) Trap

The newest psychological thriller of a serial killer from M. Night is surprisingly one of the better films that he has ever done. It has that right blend of nerve-wracking suspense from the great Hitchcook and the gallows sense of humor that Shyamalan likes to implement in his movies. To put it simply, Trap just has the right amount of sauce and edge, at least until it doesn’t.

Josh Hartnett is clearly having an absolute blast playing the main character of Cooper, there is perfect amount of tension and suspense throughout, there is plenty of setup that has a proper amount of payoff later on down the line, and the craftmanship is felt through every frame throughout Trap. Even M. Night’s most infamous tropes such as the close-ups and over-the-top performances work very well here because it makes sense for the reaction for nearly every single moment. Although, I could have done without the last 10 to 15 minutes, which constantly just drags and keeps hammering a point we had already figured out by now.

Even with it’s faults, Trap is M. Night Shyamalan doing what he does best. He doesn’t need to throw in a big twist that breaks all logic for the sake of shock value or go too far with the points he’s trying to make. He just need to make tightly budget and tightly paced thrillers, with performances, stakes, and thrills that resonate rather than take away from the experience. All of that and more is why Trap is deserving of squeezing into the top five.

4.) Split

While The Visit was hailed as one of M. Night’s better films in recent memory, it still had enough detractors to still consider it not good enough. With Split, however, even the detractor had to give credit where it was due. This movie felt like the Shyamalan of old was resurrected and returned to the big screen to show everyone how it is done.

This is an absolutely intriguing and intense thriller filled with great set-ups, satisfying payoffs, and stellar execution all around. James McAvoy is an absolute scene stealer, being able to perfectly portray every single personality of every single version of himself he is suppose to portray. Anya Taylor-Joy is also able to make for the right companion piece of being a shy girl with little to no emotion going up against a derange kidnapper with plenty of emotion. Even if you are able to guess the twist at the very end, this is still able to stand strongly as it’s own thing. The first act is quite choppy and it’s a shame that we don’t get to every single personality from Kevin but none of that can take away how surprisingly enjoyable the whole experience is.

Split feels like the last missing piece to the perfect puzzle that was the quad trilogy of M. Night Shyamalan in his prime. It might have took nearly 15 years to get it but it is satisfying all the same. Even if the follow-up to this was very underwhelming, this still remains for a wonderful fluke and a sign that perhaps the old M. Night Shyamalan we all knew and love is still in there somewhere.

3.) Signs

The finale of the original trilogy of bangers of M. Night’s early career does fall into the trappings of the third movies being the weakest of the bunch. It’s not quite as tight or as uniquely different as the other two movies that came before this one. That being said, much like other certain third installments that are technically the worst of their respective trilogy (*cough* Return of the Jedi), it’s still pretty darn good and satisfying enough in it’s own right.

Signs is able to balance between being an alien invasion flick and an engaging family drama quite well. It contains the proper amount of tension, suspense, and even scares with the supernatural stuff and even some natural conflicts that the characters go through which dives deep into moments of psychological, human-driven society. Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix also fit the roles very well as does the child talent of Rory Culkin and Abigail Breslin. There is perhaps a bit too many themes the movie tries to tackle at once and has a final shot that feels unnecessary but it all mostly works out well.

As much as it’s not M. Night’s best movie, it’s probably the most heartfelt movie he has ever made. One which all the genuine emotion feels earned and plays out the way it was suppose to be. It knows how to make one feel in way that I don’t think even Shyamalan imagined. That in of itself makes Signs impressive in it’s own right.

2.) The Sixth Sense

If it weren’t for the fact that Wide Awake existed, this would make a strong case for being one of the best director debuts of all time. Imagine being a C-average student in your freshman year of high school only to being an A-average student the very next year as a sophomore. There’s not many directors out there that can say that but with The Sixth Sense, it’s hard to deny that M. Night was able to acheive exactly that.

This feels like a movie that only M. Night Shyamalan himself could have made as it knows exactly what he does expertly with no BS thrown in between any of it. It’s extremely well made, the narrative is engaging, the performances are top notch, it’s able to explore it’s subject matter involving psychology incredible well, and every scare is legit frightening regardless of if you know it’s coming or not. Even the twist ending, which would unfortunately make M. Night the child poster of that storytelling trope, works wonder and allows for different viewing experiences every time you watch it.

The Sixth Sense is able to bring out the very best of M. Night Shyamalan while also leaving the anything resembling the worst of him. It’s able to use the tropes it introduces without ever derailing any fraction of the film. While it’s not quite my absolute favorite of it as it ranks in the #2 spot, it would be hard to argue with anyone that has it at the very top.

1.) Unbreakable

This is where M. Night Shyamalan has hit home the best for me and what I believe is to be his absolute masterpiece. As much as their are handful of superhero films that try to “deconstruct” the genre to try to make an absolutely loaded genre feel fresh, very few are able to hit the mark of that matter with the way Unbreakable does.

It’s able to take the tropes that is most common for superhero movies and comic book stories and cleverly subverts them in ways that make the experience even better. Instead of being action heavy with cheesy one-liners and campy villains, it’s able to showcase what superheroes and supervillains could look like in a real word with a dark and sobering tone that fits perfectly for the movie. Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson are perfect in their roles as David Dunn and Mr. Glass, the main superhero and supervillain of the picture. The conflict between the two and the duality that they played off of each other is among the best I’ve seen in any superhero film. It shows that there is a more to a hero and villain story than simple fistfights and power-filled matchups, but it’s also about having an interesting internal conflict between two figures from a psychological and thematic standpoint that matter too. Some do it better than others but not in he way that Unbreakable masterfully showcases this.

Even in an age of where comic book movies have took the world by storm, Unbreakable is a movie that feels like it could have came out at any time and it would still feel fresh, different, and unique all the same. It’s one of the few times where a M. Night Shyamalan is exactly as smart, if not more so, that it believes it is. Because of that reason and many more, Unbreakable is hands down my favorite movie of M. Night Shyamalan and one of my personal favorite movies in general.

Alien: Romulus (2024) Movie Review: Alien: Isolation The Movie!

For the past decade, the video game known as Alien: Isolation has been considered by Alien fans to not just be the best Alien game ever made but the very best thing to happen to the franchise since the first two masterpieces of film known as Alien and Aliens. It was a game that understood the original Alien inside and out. It captured the intense, suspense, cluster phobia, and pure horror nature of that 1978 sci-fi gamechanger by Ridley Scott. Putting you in the hands of Amanda Ripley, the daughter of Ellen Ripley, as she has to confront with the same alien surprises as her mother could not have been a more fitting gap between the events of Alien and Aliens.

Since then, many fans have wondered if a game like Isolation could be properly translated into a feature film or tv series. Whether it’s to experience more adventures with another badass Ripley or have scares and thrills that is reminiscence to that, making something that could completely capture that lightning in a bottle that a video game could really do wonders for this franchise. And if the latest installment, Alien: Romulus is any indication, Fede Álvarez seems to have us all COMPLETELY covered in that regard.

Romulus is able to hit the beats that you expect and want out of a proper Alien movie, while acting as easily the most consistently good film entry in the Alien series since 1986. It’s far from the gamechanger that the first two Alien films were nor is it even as ambitiously imperfect as the likes of Prometheus or Alien 3, but in terms to delivering the goodies and pure entertainment value in the way it intends to, Romulus has been as good as it gets for the Alien franchise for a good long while.

Premise: Taking place between the events of Alien and Aliens, while scavenging the deep ends of a derelict space station, a group of young space colonists (Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, and Aileen Wu) come face to face with the most terrifying life form in the universe.

On the surface, the plot of Alien: Romulus comes across as a simulated version of the entire Alien franchise up to this point. You got the alien acting as the uninvited guest from the original Alien, the aliens which forces our main character (s) to take matters into their own hands from Aliens, the alien that is determine to strip everything away from our main character from Alien 3, some of the alien lore expansion of Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, and just a tiny bit of the campiness from Alien: Resurrection and the Alien vs Predator movies. However, what makes this all work is not only how well utilized it is in the world that is Alien, but Fede Alvarez is able to add it’s own sauce (Did I use that right?) to the franchise that had yet to be seen up to this point.

Alvarez has already shown is horror directing chops in Evil Dead (2013) and Don’t Breathe but with Alien: Romulus, he was able to really set himself loose. His horror style is able to make every moment with the Xenomorph as intense and suspensible as it has any right to be, making nearly every single sequence with them stand out in a grand way. Not only with creating exciting action sequences with the aliens or making them all look cool but he understands perfectly as to why these monsters are as opposing and threatening as they are. It’s not because of the lore or backstory behind them. It’s just the fact that they are able to cause one problem after another for our main heroes, constantly being a sinister threat every step of the way. Whenever you think you are safe, you are most certainly not. That is what makes these creatures stand out among the very best monsters in horror and sci-fi history and what makes Romulus work as well as it does.

And if that sound similar to how the aliens were portrayed in Alien: Isolation, you would be corrected. It’s for that distinct reason as to why Romulus acts as the perfect adaption of Isolation without necessarily being one. It has that perfect set of tension, suspense, horror, action, and just perfectly putting you in the shoes of the main protagonist, making you feel like you are on this horrific roller coaster ride with them. And that’s not even going into the fun little easter eggs from that game such as the emergency phone save point, crawling through dark tunnels, and the alien knowing your every presence every step of the way. For anyone out there that wanted a proper Alien: Isolation film adaption but also is it’s own thing, look no further than Alien: Romulus.

It’s also impressive how it’s able to weave in certain elements from infamous Alien entries such as Prometheus and find a way to make it worth here. It’s able to find that right balance of incorporating other elements from previous Alien movies to not just tip their cap to those films but also make it worth for the purpose of this story. Although, there is one particular plot element that the film goes perhaps too far with. And yes, it’s the one that many people have discussed at volume length and is perhaps the biggest talking point of this movie.

Personally, I felt it worked just fine for this movie as it provided the right connection the original Alien and it did get approved by everyone it needed to get approved of. I just wish that no real A.I. was used to make that element work so it could avoid all of this controversy. I can understand why many people don’t like it but considering they found a way to make it work for the movie and got the permission needed, I think it works just fine.

The entire cast is also to stand on their own very well here. I don’t know if they will be as remembered fondly as the cast of the original Alien movies but they do work well on their own here. Cailee Spaeny is very strong and compelling as Rain, being able to avoid the trappings of prior leads in the Alien movies and growing into her own unique presence, by the end becoming more than just a standard Ellen Ripley clone. David Jonsson as Andy makes for easily the most unique and charismatic android this series has had in a long time, providing for some of the film’s most standout moments. Archie Renaux and Isabela Merced make for welcome additions that will certainly get them roles in future horror movies for years to come. Spike Wearn and Aileen Wu are the two members that get pushed to the wayside but they do suit their required roles well.

The production values are very top notch in Alien: Romulus, save for that plot element with the recurring character which you perhaps could have down without. You can definitely tell that Fede Alvarez has a love for practical effects and craftmanship and he’s really able to show that throughout the entire movie. The Xenomorphs and other aliens have not look this good in ages, the cinematography is spot on throughout, there’s plenty of iconic moments that stand among the franchise’s best, the action set pieces make for some of the best sequences in the entire franchise and a third act which is so over-the-top and feel approximately Fede Alvarez that I couldn’t help but love it. Even with the 80 million dollar budget, you can tell that nearly every single penny is put to good and proper use.

After going down a very inconsistent road from Alien 3 to Covenant, Romulus sees Fede Álvarez
returning this franchise back to it’s traditional roots and it could not be any better for it. This is able to hit all the beats that you would expect from an Alien film while also providing it’s own unique voice and plenty of memorable scares and thrills of it’s own to make this a worthy addition to the Alien canon. The new cast of characters are likable and compelling in their own right, the action, gore, and set pieces are among the very best in the franchise, this is easily the scariest film in the series since the original Alien, and the third act is so bonkers and so out of left field that I can’t help but love it. It’s even able to take plot elements from Prometheus and have it work rather well here.

It does suffer from some imperfections such as a callback or two that doesn’t really work (You’ll know it when you see it!), and a reemergence of a certain character that you perhaps could have done without. Even so, this is easily the most consistently good Alien film since Aliens and perhaps the most pure fun installment in the franchise thus far. While it’s far from the most thought provoking and groundbreaking film in the franchise, Alien: Romulus is able to deliver where it counts the most with this franchise in providing it’s own scares, thrills, and tension throughout.

Romulus is able to do to Alien what Prey was able to do with Predator, give it’s previously considered dead franchises a new life and leave room for plenty of more stories to be told with their own respected franchises. Whether it’s for a sequel to this movie, a sequel to Covenant, one final swan song with Sigourney Weaver, or another Alien vs Predator movie, I’m now genuinely curious as to whether the Alien franchise can go from here.

Bring on Alien: Earth!

And please make a sequel to Alien: Isolation! I want more adventures with Amanda Ripley!

Ranking The Alien Franchise

Alien: Romulus is now playing in theaters. As usual every time that a new entry in a famous, long-running franchise comes out, it’s time to rank every single installment from worst to best.

Alien is certainly one of the more complicated film series out there. It bares quite a resemblance to that of the Terminator franchise, and that’s NOT just because both series had James Cameron involved in one way or another. In which the first two films are beloved and considered absolute sci-fi masterpieces while every single installment to come out after that has a very take it or leave it mindset. Sure, there are definitely films to come out in the post-Aliens era that have their fans, including the newest one that just came out, but the majority would agree that not a single one of them could hold a candle to the first two films.

Even so, just like with any franchise that has gone on for decades, everyone has their personal favorites and least favorites. And it’s time for me to throw my towel in the ring and rank them all.

Also, similar to the Mad Max ranking, I decided to make this one a bit more interesting and thrown in a video game into the mix. Why? Because it’s awesome and better than a good majority of these movies so it’s worth addressing. Nevertheless, let’s get into ranking some Alien movies.

10.) Alien vs Predator: Requiem

The second Alien vs Predator showdown is not only the worst of anything related to both now Disney-owned IPs, it’s one of the worst franchise entries in the 21st century. What should be a simple premise of just taking these two well known monsters and have been punch one another for an hour and a half is bogged by some of the worst lighting and editing ever put in a theatrical released film. It also doesn’t help that it has writing, acting, and directing that wouldn’t even be passable for a Patron funded fan film. Alien vs Predator: Requiem is not only just as bad as franchise movies can get, it’s just as lazy as they come. It literally brings a new definition of unwatchable because well…….you literally can’t watch it because you can barely see what’s happening on screen. It’s not strictly a film that is infamous for certain story choices it makes or contradicting previously established lore in any way but because of how objectively poor the filmmaking is on display. That in of itself makes this more than worthy of being the worst film in both respected franchises.

9.) Alien: Covenant

After the divisive response that 2012’s Prometheus had on critics and audiences, Ridley Scott decided to take things back to basic for the Alien franchise with Alien: Covenant. Unfortunately, in so doing so, he manages to undermine the ambiguity and intrigue of the beloved Xenomorph while doubling down on all of the main problems that plagued it’s predecessor. The alien action and set pieces are uninspired, most of the characters aren’t interesting and are about as dumb as movie characters can get, the effects for all the monsters look shockingly poor, and finding out that David was the one responsible for the creation of the Xenomorph is about the most out of no where and unneeded explanation for a franchise’s lore since Mini-chlorians. Not even Michael Fassbender’s captivating screen presence and a couple of fun moments sprinkling in can save this mess. Alien: Covenant may not quite be the worst film in the franchise but it was definitely the sign that the franchise had lost his staying power and how the guy who made the marvelous original Alien had lost his touch. When looking at is as a proper Alien movie and a sequel to Prometheus, Covenant just doesn’t work on any level.

8.) Alien vs Predator

On paper, an Alien vs Predator movie should amount for the perfect amount of shlock blockbuster popcorn entertainment anyone would expect. And the moments that it does just that, it makes for a pretty good time that gives you exactly what you want and expect out of this fun premise. Just a shame that way too much time is spent focusing on human characters that become a footnote the moment the two titled monsters jump on the screen and it tries to set up lore and world building that it has little to no interest in actually exploring. Still, the effects and production design is top notch and when the alien and predator actually show up and start fighting, it’s entertaining enough. Back in the day, you would have to slug through Alien vs Predator to get to the good stuff, similar to how folks had to slug through The Phantom Menace to get to anything involving a lightsaber, but because we have the internet now, you can just look up the fight scenes for this movie on YouTube and be satisfied all the same.

7.) Alien: Resurrection

Alien: Resurrection acts as perhaps the oddball of the series. It’s not so much a continuation of it’s controversial predecessor but more acts like a “Elseworlds” addition to the Alien franchise. This is basically when the series began abandoning its thought-provoking themes and immersive storytelling in favor of acting as traditional schlocky B movies. Sigourney Weaver is back once again but she’s not actually the Ellen Ripley from the first three movies and is actually a clone of Ellen Ripley this time around. That in of itself makes the emotional investment non-existent and hard to care about. Still, the shlock-ness that is presented in of itself is just so hard for me to not dig, even if it’s as goofy and over-the-top as it comes. The action is fun, Sigourney Weaver is clearly having fun in playing a clone version of her iconic character, and the effects and ideas of the Xenomorphs is so bizarre that it’s actually amusing to see before your very eyes. When viewing it on the merits of being a silly, wacky sci-fi click, Resurrection works well enough. When viewing it on the merits of the previous Alien films that felt more ambitious and impactful, Resurrection falls quite flat. Even so, it’s still bittersweet watching this now knowing it was Sigourney’s final time playing Ripley on the big screen.

6.) Alien 3

The most despised standalone Alien movie in the series isn’t nearly as bad as it’s detractors would be. This is the directorial debut for the well-known David Fincher, at least not the parts which Fox didn’t meddled with the third installment. Alien 3 is most infamous in it’s bold narrative choices, such as killing off the supporting cast of the last movie onscreen, along with not being on par with the previous two masterpieces. However, when looking at it’s own term, there’s plenty of interesting ideas and set pieces throughout Alien 3 that work well here, along with having such a bleak and distinct feel to it that you very rarely get in movies nowadays. Not to mention, in a franchise which sees so many people get kill and slaughter by alien monsters left and right, it’s not really a series which I see the main characters have happy and uplifting endings. It’s definitely not as good as Alien or Aliens and it might have reached it’s truest potential if David Fincher was given full control but Alien 3 is definitely better than it’s overall reputation would suggest. If you watch the assembly cut, which adds an extra half an hour where it fleshes out all the new characters, you just get a good notion as to watch Fincher was going for and a hint to where his style would go many years down the road. This may have not been the ending that Ripley deserved but it’s perhaps the one she needed.

5.) Prometheus

Easily the most polarizing entry in the entire franchise, Prometheus sees Ridley Scott returning to the franchise decades later with a distinct prequel, back before any of the aliens were actually a thing. This easily contains some of the strongest visuals and ideas in the entire series, questioning how human being can co-exist against technology and artificial intelligence. You also have a cast, such as Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, and Idris Elba, that absolutely give it their all and is able to add the right amount of weight to the material they are giving. Just too bad it gets bogged down by having characters making completely illogical decisions the whole way through and so many questions gets handwaved in the hopes that a potential sequel would be able to follow through with it (SPOILER ALERT: IT DOESN’T!). It’s hard to know how Prometheus would be judged in hindsight if Ridley Scott got to continue along with this distinct direction but even so, it’s hard not to admire the film for what it’s aiming for and being it’s own animal in a franchise that has gone on for as long as it has. While it certainly lacks in smart characters and aliens, Prometheus has enough impressive visuals and captivating ideas to make it’s way to the top 5.

4.) Alien: Romulus

After going down a very inconsistent road from Alien 3 to Covenant, Romulus sees Fede Álvarez
returning this franchise back to it’s traditional roots and it could not be any better for it. This is able to hit all the beats that you would expect from an Alien film while also providing it’s own unique voice and plenty of memorable scares and thrills of it’s own. It’s able to use fan service in a very organic way, feeling like it belongs properly in the world of Alien. The new cast of characters are likable and compelling in their own right, the action, gore, and set pieces are among the very best in the franchise, this is easily the scariest film in the series since the original Alien, and the third act is so bonkers and so out of left field that I can’t help but love it. It’s even able to take plot elements from Prometheus and have it work rather well here. It does suffer from some imperfections such as a rather slow start, a callback or two that doesn’t really work, and a reemergence of a certain character that didn’t feel necessary (At least, it wasn’t A.I. though!). Even so, this is easily the most consistently good Alien film since Aliens and perhaps the most pure fun installment in the franchise thus far. While it’s far from the most thought provoking and groundbreaking film in the franchise, Alien: Romulus is able to deliver where it counts the most with this franchise in providing it’s own scares, thrills, and tension throughout.

3.) Alien Isolation

Fans have debated for years as to what is the third best film in the Alien franchise. Even after the release of Romulus, that debate continues. However, there is a strong argument to be made that the third best Alien film every made is not actually a film but a video game known as Alien: Isolation. Set between the events of Alien and Aliens, we follow Amanda Ripley, the daughter of Ellen Ripley, going on her own space journey to find clues about what happened to her mother only to be greeted with the same alien surprise as her mother did. This is a game that perfectly understands why Alien and Aliens worked as well as it did, masterfully combining the slow paced, claustrophobic nature of Alien and the action-heavy set pieces of Aliens. Isolation puts you perfectly in the shoes of Amandla Ripley, with a smartly placed third-person perspective that makes you feel like you are the one that is going on this hunt for survival against these sinister monsters. The narrative is compelling, the stealth and combat is properly done, the a.i. is some of the smartest and challenging of any video game, and the Xenomorphs have never been more terrifying than they are here. Some of the backtracking can be too tedious and will CERTAINLY get too frustrating for those that want to just BLAZE through the game (Which you absolutely should NOT do!), but I don’t think I can think of a more perfect bridge to Alien and Aliens than Alien: Isolation. While Alien: Romulus was able to take all the good elements of this game and make it it’s own, I still believe this game is my favorite thing to come out of the franchise post-Alien. Rock on, Amanda Ripley!

And IGN CAN SUCK IT!

2.) Alien

The one that started it all remains one of the greatest achievements in both the sci-fi genre and cinematic history in general. Ridley Scott got it perfectly right on his very first try back in 1978. Operating flawlessly as a slow-burn, smaller scaled sci-fi horror flick, Alien is the proper film to be taught in film school on how to build tension and suspense properly. The Xenomorph, chest burster, and face huggers remains some of the most unique and terrifying monsters every put to film, the atmosphere could not be any more somber and claustrophobic if it tried, the production and sound design is some of the very best every put to film, every single important plot element is remembered and gets a satisfying payoff, and nearly every single cast member gets their own moment to shine. Also, best movie cat ever! While I’m sure the film might be way too slow for those that watch it nowadays, Alien is a film that more than awards your patience by finding the proper payoff to every single thing that it builds off of. Even if it’s not quite #1 for me, I don’t think there has been a more important sci-fi film, give or take Star Wars, in cinematic history than Alien. It’s impact is still felt to this very day and it is more than easy to see why.

1.) Aliens

While the original Alien acts as one of the greatest sci-fi movies ever made, Aliens is one of the best sequels ever made. Much like Terminator 2: Judgement Day, it not only takes every time that worked about it’s near perfect original and made them better but it’s able to stand on it’s own two feet by changing the pace into a relatively smart action flick. From the superb lighting to the stellar production design to the convincing make-up effects to the properly raised stakes to the fantastic action to the perfection that is Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley, Aliens is about as perfect as a film of any kind can get. There’s not a single line of dialogue that isn’t memorable, not a single character that feels wasted, and not a single action or dramatic beat that doesn’t work here. This is one of the rare times that a film series was able to properly translate from a smaller scaled indie flick to an action blockbuster that does not diminish or water down the franchise in any way. Also, this film confirms that Ellen Ripley is hands down the most badass action heroine in the history of cinema. That is not opinion, that is FACT. There’s no person the planet that could deliver the line, “GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH!” better than Sigourney Weaver could. Aliens remains the pitch perfect example on how to do a sequel, sci-fi flick, and a big blockbuster film of any kind. This remains one of the very best films that has ever been made.