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If there is one movie out there that is basically the textbook definition of “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover!”, that would be Kung Fu Panda. On paper, this sounds like the dumbest idea ever. A big fat panda voiced by Jack Black learning Kung Fu?! That feels like an idea that came from the same person that thought The Emoji Movie would be a great hit! And that’s not even going to the overall marketing and trailers for this movie, which played the movie as being nothing more than a water down slapstick comedy aimed for toddlers. However, once the movie came out during the summer of 2008, we all could not have been wrong about Kung Fu Panda.
I believe it’s safe to say that Kung Fu Panda has been far in a way Dreamwork’s most surprising franchise to date. Heck, with the exception of Shrek and How To Train Your Dragon, you could argue Kung Fu Panda is their best and most consistent franchise to date. This was a series of films that most folks didn’t think could hold it’s own standalone film, let alone a franchise, with a premise that sounded like the stupidest idea imaginable. However, not only is Kung Fu Panda is able to work despite it’s silly premise, it’s able to work BECAUSE of it.
It’s able to use that “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” mindset that not only acts what most folks thought of Kung Fu Panda when watching it but use that as the central theme throughout the film. And it’s that theme that makes for the perfect way to tell the story of the main character of Po, the titled panda that learns kung fu. A story that is yet again another chosen one narrative with the main character having to go through the typical hero’s journey but is able to use it’s admittedly absurd premise to find a completely fresh and unique way to tell it. It’s that exact reason and much more that makes Kung Fu Panda the right movie to talk about when it comes to films that is successfully able to redefine the typical chosen one narrative.
When we first meet Po, he seems like the last person that is worthy of being the chosen one, or as the movie refers to it as The Dragon Warrior. Sure, he is shown to be a massive fanboy of kung fu, with him having dreams of becoming the ultimate dragon warrior and owning his own action figures of the entire Furious Five group, but he comes off as an absolute clumsy oaf who don’t seem to take anything seriously. However, despite having a straight forward future with running a noodle shop with his TOTALLY not adapted father Mr. Ping, his heart doesn’t seem to eagerly awaiting for that kind of future. He’s awaiting for that special opportunity to fight alongside the Furious Five. He’s awaiting to become a kung fu warrior. It’s then the day that Po has been waiting for arrives, the day that known kung fu legend Master Oogway announces who The Dragon Warrior is.
After a handful of hilariously comedy bits in seeing how Po tries to enter a closed palace for the ceremony along with admitting to his father that noodles aren’t really his thing, we see Oogway choosing the Dragon Warrior. And that Dragon Warrior turned out to be no one other than Po himself. Not Tigress, not any member of the Furious Five, and not even a tall and muscular man! The Dragon Warrior is a fat panda named Po.
That moment is not only Oogway choosing the fate of kung fu in the valley of peace set in China but the fate of the actual movie in general. He is basically counting on the most unlikely person imaginable for the job. He is counting on the titled panda character voiced by Jack Black to carry the entire picture and make Po’s heroic journey feel earned. It may seem unimaginable but Oogway has fate in himself, his students, and most importantly, the audience to be alongside Po’s quest to become the Dragon Warrior by any means necessary.
Shifu is the one kung fu master that has to train Po to become the Dragon Warrior, as he had trained the Furious Five. His goal is to teach the panda kung fu and have him become good enough to not only defeat the sinister Tai Lung, Shifu’s fallen apprentice that has escaped from prison with a massive grudge against his former master, but also to claim the dragon scroll, which is believed to have the secrets to limitless power of kung fu. However, as you would expect for as someone that is as bumbling and clumsy as Po looks, it does not start off well at all.
Po’s early days of training are nothing short of disaster. Fallen short of every possible training lesson, session, and technique needed to master any sort of kung fu, Po had lived up to his first impressions of being the worst possible person for the job of the Dragon Warrior. Due to that, every one around him seems to think that Oogway made a mistake picking Po. Shifu believes it, the Furious Five believes it, and worst of all, Po himself believes it as well. The only person that does NOT believe Oogway was wrong is well…Oogway himself.
After receiving word of Tai Lung escaping from prison, Shifu realizes that their days may be numbered before evil strikes the heart of the valley of peace. Matters are made even more complicated when Oogway’s time has come and dies of old age at the Sacred Peach Tree, blown away by wind and pink petals. Even though Shifu has done everything in his power to get rid of Po, he now knows he has no choice but to do everything in his power to train Po and become the ultimate Kung Fu master.
Before he is able to do that, Po tries to run away from the responsibility after coming to the realization that he is the only one that can stop Tai Lung. We then have a great moment between Shifu and Po when the former asks the latter why he didn’t quit when everyone was trying to get rid of him. Po claims that despite all of the constant failing and insults from Shifu and the gang, he powered through with it because he figured that if there was anyone that can change himself from being just a big fat panda to a noble warrior, it was Shifu. This right there is a major defining moment of the movie.
This is when the movie has it’s main character basically questioning it’s own premise and overall existence. There is no way a big fat panda can be the one to be the hero that saves the day, it has to be someone way more than him. Po doesn’t want to be that anymore because that’s not what is normally defined as being a hero. No matter how good he can be at kung fu, Po will always be that big fat panda in his overall appearance and nothing can change that. Nothing except for possibly the dragon scroll.
With Shifu figuring out that the only way to motivated Po to be the best Kung Fu warrior imaginable is with food, he takes unconventional measures to train Po, measures that he could never have done with the Furious Five. Because of that, Po is able to succeed and have now learn how to properly Kung Fu. After the Furious Five attempt to take Tai Lung head on and failing, Shifu believes that it is now time to hand Po the dragon scroll, which is believed to do basically anything to help the Dragon Warrior master Kung Fu in ways unimaginable.
However, something unexpected happens once Po opens up the dragon scroll. It’s blank. Literally completely blank. Only showing himself in a golden reflection. No kung fu cheat codes, no magical or whimsical power! Nothing but Po himself. All of that build up and hype for the dragon scroll turned out to be literally for nothing!
Now, a movie where the big overall reveal turns out to be nothing is a HUGE risk, especially when there has been so much build up towards it. It could make the whole experience feel like it was a giant waste of time with trying to keep a secret that ultimately amount to literally NOTHING. However, Kung Fu Panda not only makes it completely work but it might just be the best “nothing” twist that I’ve seen in any movie.
After Po and the Furious Five go their separate ways with Shifu, who awaits his former student’s arrival, we see Po running into his father once again as the whole valley evacuates. Despite learning kung fu, it seems like Po is right back where he started at the beginning of the film, awaiting his noodle tradition future with his adopted father. It’s then that Mr. Ping believes it is time for him to let his son know of his little secret. That secret being the secret ingredient of his secret ingredient soup. And just like with the dragon scroll, the secret ingredient is literally nothing.
That’s right! That secret that Mr. Ping has kept from his son for so long turned out to be literally nothing. It’s nothing but plain old noodle soup. Even though there is no secret ingredient, Mr. Ping believes he doesn’t need it for his soup to be a success. The fact that he believes his soup making skills are special is good enough for him. The fact that he believed in it hard enough and made it happen was the true secret ingredient to all of this.
And there it is right there! That was the meaning of The Dragon Scroll! That was the point that Oogway was trying to get across! There is no secret ingredient to becoming a hero, it’s just you! Your overall appearance doesn’t matter! It’s only a matter if you believe in yourself willingly to accomplish the goals you set out to achieve! That moment right there is not only telling Po himself not to take himself for granted but also the audience as well!
It’s Po using the skills he learned from Shifu and the knowledge he discovered from his father to defeat the sinister Tai Lung. It’s nothing that was learned from any member of the Furious Five or even Shifu himself, it was all on Po. And that realization comes into fruition when Tai Lung finally gets his hands on The Dragon Scroll only to find out it’s literally nothing. All of that training and years of anticipation for the dragon scroll to find out it’s literally nothing. The main difference here is that Po is able to discover the inner meaning of himself with that reveal while Tai Lung is unable to. It’s because of that and more that Po is the one victorious in the end and Tai Lung ends up in skadoosh land.
There have been many different ways of telling the traditional chosen one narrative. There has been plenty of franchises out there that have done that and done it well. However, there isn’t one that I can recall that was able to tell it as fresh, unique, and most importantly, subversive as Kung Fu Panda. It’s like the filmmakers behind were fully aware of it’s absurd premise that audiences would judge too harshly on the surface. It’s like they wanted to use that sense of doubt from everyone to not only prove all the naysayers of the film wrong but literally have that be the main driving force of the film. And if the success of this film is anything to go by, I would say they succeeded spectacularly.
It’s that positive mindset of not doubting yourself that has led DreamWorks to the success with Kung Fu Panda. At the end of the day, when you set yourself out to achieve something, it’s only you that can accomplish it. There’s no secret weapon or trick to do it all, it’s just you. It’s only if you have the confidence to believe in yourself will you be able to accomplish your dreams when given the opportunity. Po was able to do that just well throughout the series and hopefully you can too with whatever you set out to be. Only then where you might just become your own version of the chosen one or The Dragon Warrior.
Next up in the marathon: Kung Fu Panda 2– How To Make The Perfect Villain
Everybody’s favorite sponge arrived on the big screen for the first time ever on November 19th, 2004. It was directed by the creator of SpongeBob Squarepants himself, Stephen Hillenburg, who crafted the story alongside Derek Drymon, Tim Hill, Kent Osborne, Aaron Springer, and Paul Tibbitt. They decided to structure the story as a mythical hero’s journey that would put SpongeBob and Patrick front and center. The film was originally meant to serve as the series finale, as Hillenberg wanted to end the series on a high note and not have it wear out it’s welcome. However, because the series had become increasingly profitable and still having an insane amount of popularity, Nickelodeon ordered for more episodes after the film’s release and is still ordering them to this very day. As a result, Hillenburg resigned as the showrunner, with Tibbitt taking his place until 2015.
The movie received generally positive reviews from critics and is generally beloved by fans, many of whom found it to be a satisfying conclusion to the original run of SpongeBob Squarepants. It grossed 141 million dollars worldwide, becoming the seventh highest grossing animated film of 2004. There were two follow-ups to this film with Sponge Out of Water releasing in 2015 and Sponge on the Run in 2020 along with a fourth film that is in the works subtitled, Search for Squarepants, that is set for a release on December 19. 2025.
I’m not gonna lie, I can’t recall a film that I have had more nostalgia for in my ENTIRE life than The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie. This was the very first movie I remember ever seeing in a theater. I have watched this so many times as a kid and have nearly every single scene and line of dialogue memorized in my head. To tell you the truth, this might be one of my personal favorite movies. I’m not joking.
There is something about The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie that just feels so right, so earnest, so joyful, and so emotionally satisfying every single time that I watch it. It’s a movie that just works no matter which way you look at it. Not only does it make for a perfectly satisfying epilogue for fans of the series but it even works as a nice hero’s journey with a great, heartful message for kids, telling them that there’s nothing wrong with being who you are and never doubt yourself because of it. If you’re a kid, be a kid. Because at the end of the day, not only are we all a kid inside, we are also a goofy goober!
What makes this movie stand out bigger than not just the other SpongeBob movies but also other SpongeBob medium is the definite sense that this is the endgame. This seems like the one that has the desire to change up the status quo by the end and have all things come full circle for the characters and the franchise. The three main components in particular being about how a second Krusty Krab restaurant now exists, SpongeBob gaining a new promotion as manager, and of course, Plankton is FINALLY able to steal the Krabby Patty formula for once and fulfill his destiny to rule all of Bikini Bottom with everyone as his slaves. These were all major events that had never happened before in prior SpongeBob material and really feels like it could only happen in movie form. Even with the knowledge that this was not the fact where the series ended and is still going all these years later, you can’t help but think of this movie being the true finale to the story and that everything that has come after it is a prequel at best to this.
While the SpongeBob Squarepants series hasn’t necessarily been known for having the strongest storytelling and character development out there, this movie manages to make both measures better than it ever has been before with the series. Sure, the message that the film is trying to get across is an obvious one and there will likely be contrivances and deviance of logic to the plot if you were to dissect the film Cinema Sins-style but that’s all find and dandy because of how well executed SpongeBob and Patrick’s journey is but it’s also has a message that anyone of any age can relate to.
We have always had a moment in our lives where we doubt ourselves. Whether it’s due to our age, race, gender, sexuality, religion, etc., there will also be someone out there that will judge strictly based on simple, trivial merits such as the ones mentioned. Instead of letting others put you down for it, embrace it. Embrace who you are, inspire yourself to be the best version of yourself you can be, and be the first person to prove your doubters wrong. Use it as strength, not as a weakness. It’s only then where you will find yourself to not only be a kid inside as well, but also a goofy goober as well. Just like what SpongeBob and Patrick discover about themselves throughout their adventure.
Not only are SpongeBob and Patrick going on this journey to get King Neptune’s crown back to save the town and Mr. Krabs but also to discover who they truly are. They keep thinking they must be something they are not instead of being that something they really are deep inside. They insist they need to be the manliest of men with facial hair and a load of GRIT to get the job done. But that’s just not who they are. They are just a couple of goofballs who are only going on this adventure because they are the only ones in the sea that can possibly save the day. And you know what, they are all the better for it. It’s only at that moment where they embrace the fact that they are kids that they have 100% confidence in the world to get the job done.
Choosing to go with the mystical hero’s journey was a GENIUS move by the writing crew. They knew that in order for SpongeBob to work as a movie, there would need to be a fully layered plot that had a big increase on stakes, arcs, emotion, and a hard-earned message at it’s core. Is it the most complex story ever told? No! Does the arcs that SpongeBob and Patrick go through are quite predictable? Sure! Is the overall message a bit cheesy? Absolutely! But you know what, for SpongeBob Squarepants, that is literally all you need to make it all work perfectly. Even if that doesn’t make for a perfect film overall, it makes for a perfect SpongeBob film.
To be sure, while there is definitely more effort put into its plot and character development than most Spongebob media, it never forgets the elements that makes the series as great as it is. It’s still an EXTEREMELY funny movie with the same style of humor, gags, and amusing visuals that the series has always been known for. It’s able to expand upon the world of undersea than ever before, it moves at a solid, breakneck pace, the new characters are great and iconic in their own right, the music is still soothing, the voice acting is perhaps at it’s most energetic, and it never once forget the overall charm of what the show has stood for. Hillenburg and friends could not have done a better job for adaptation SpongeBob onto the big screen if they tried.
Were there some missed opportunities here? Perhaps! As much as I love the focus on strictly Spongebob and Patrick, it does feel unfortunate that other characters don’t seem to get much of the spotlight, most notably fan favorites such as Gary, Squidward and Sandy Cheeks. Considering the fact this movie was originally structured as the series finale, it does seem odd that these characters didn’t get a special moment to themselves or be able to share their thoughts one last time about SpongeBob at the very end.
I also find it jarring how the movie seems to forget about Patrick once we get to the climax where SpongeBob goes full DEUS EX GOOFY GOOBER mode! The movie puts so much focus on the starfish, practically making him the co-lead of the picture, and then it like…forgets he exists by the very end. The very last scene we get of Patrick is him with his long sneezy legs getting SpongeBob down from the ceiling.
Do these flaws hinder my enjoyment or has me thinking this isn’t a perfect four out of four star movie for me? Not at all! But I would imagine that there would at least be one hardcore fan that would have wished a bit more love was given to some of the other characters here! I guess they would have to wait for the next movie for them to get their time in the spotlight.
The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie still remains an all-time classic in my eyes. Regardless of whether you view this as an adaption of the show, the epilogue of a beloved franchise, or even just a standard kids film, it all works in every way it possibly can. Even if the clear target audience is for kids, I do think there is something for adults to get something out of this as well. The message of the film is just that resonating. Beautifully animated, perfectly written, immensely funny, and emotional beats that all feel earned (You are a robot sent from Skyler if you didn’t cry at SpongeBob and Patrick’s “death scene”!), I could not ask for a better SpongeBob movie than this.
Even as someone that’s about to turn 27 this year, I can’t help but have a strong attachment to this film as I get older. When rewatching it for this marathon, I was legit worried that I wasn’t going to feel that same fondness when watching this film as a kid, that it was just nostalgia that clouded my judgement and it was time to take the rose-colored glasses off with the acceptance that this movie simply wasn’t as good as I thought it was. However, watching it again, I was wrong to ever doubt it. Because in the end, we are all goofy goobers. No matter what age I am, I will always feel proud to call myself a goofy goober!
Even though this did not end up being the very last of the series like it was originally intended to, this still works perfectly as a definite end to the franchise. Despite the fact that multiple seasons and films involving Spongebob have come along since 2004, it doesn’t change the fact that the timeless nature of it makes this feel like the main stopping point and everything that came after basically just what came before chronologically. It’s the way that Stephen Hillenburg always intended and quite frankly, it works all the better for it.
Tune in next month as to when things start getting “interesting” as we will take a look at what can be considered the “awkward” era of Spongebob Squarepants, with Seasons 4 and 5 respectively!
Other thoughts:
I still find it hard to believe that Black Widow herself, Scarlett Johansson, did the voice of Mindy. It’s no wonder Patrick had a big crush on her.
It’s sad we never got to see Mindy in a big role throughout the rest of the series.
I also remember playing the movie tie-in video game a lot as a kid. Boy, do I have complicated feelings about that game.
It’s only until now that I realized that Best Day Ever song was originally a part of this movie’s soundtrack and NOT for the Best Day Ever episode.
Now, That We’re Men is gonna be playing in my head rent free for the next month.
The guy that played Patchy the Pirate in this movie was great btw.
I do wonder who voiced Dennis though. Surely, it’s just some no name actor that disappeared off the face of the earth because he decided acting wasn’t his thing and didn’t do something utterly terrible that destroyed his life. I will still stick by the fact that Dennis is voiced by “He who shall NOT be named!”
Lastly, David Hasselhoff, BEST CELEBRITY CAMEO EVER!
This Valentine’s Day saw the release of Madame Web, the newest comic book movie which despite being based off of a Marvel Comic character, was developed STRICTLY by Sony (I bring that up because there are surprisingly a large amount of people in the world that don’t realized this was NOT a movie made by Marvel Studios themselves). And just like with Sony’s previous attempt at doing a villain origin story that no one asked for in Morbius, Madame Web has been an absolute critical and (likely) commercial disaster. It’s immediately been regarded as one of the worst comic book movies ever made and will definitely being topping PLENTY of worst movies of the year list come December. And unlike that other trainwreck of a villain origin story that came out two years ago that I just mentioned, I don’t think the memes are going to be enough to save Madame Web‘s reputation, even if I did somewhat try to do so in my spoof review of it.
As if Madame Web is not enough of a lackluster superhero flick to come out this year from Sony, we also have Kraven the Hunter and Venom 3 slated to release later on this year. And if the track record of the last few villain led movies from Sony is anything to go by, I wouldn’t be surprised if they turn out just as bad if not worse. And with the recent funk that most comic book movies are in now, the last thing the sub-genre needs is not one, not two, but THREE terrible comic book movies to come out in the exact same year with the Marvel logo. And as I said at the beginning of the review, even though Marvel Studios are NOT the ones that are making these movies, there is actually a good portion of the population that believe otherwise and could potentially affect upcoming MCU installments such as Deadpool & Wolverine coming out in July.
Of course, the big question everyone is asking is why does Sony continue to make these movies that not only nobody is demanding for but I don’t think even they themselves want to make? Well, it’s basically a similar situation to what led to The Amazing Spider-Man duology being created, to keep the full film rights away from Marvel. Which wouldn’t necessarily be such a bad thing if that sense of obligation wasn’t felt when watching these movies but even if you have the biggest rose-colored glasses on, it’s near impossible to separate the studio politics when sitting through disasters such as The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Venom, Morbius, and Madame Web.
All of this and more is why I strongly believe that it’s time for Sony to return all film rights back to Marvel Studios. Not just the television rights they were forced to fork over when Disney bought Marvel but also the film rights and possibly any other rights to the character of Spider-Man. This isn’t strictly because of recent events with Madame Web but because of the poor treatment that the company has given the character for the past 15 plus years. If you don’t believe me, let’s take a trip down memory lane and go into why certain Spider-Man-related properties have suffered in quality because of Sony.
The first thing I’m sure plenty will point to has to why Sony should still be the father of Spider-Man is the success of the trilogy with Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire. The superhero trilogy that was arguably the most successful series of superhero movies until the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy came along. Yes, Spider-Man (2002) is notable for starting the 21st century dominance of superhero movies. Yes, Spider-Man 2 is still considered to be one of the greatest superhero movies ever made! However, what about Spider-Man 3, which in the day before memes, was considered to be one of the biggest letdowns in not just superhero movie history but possibly film history in general. Well, that’s where Sony comes in.
The main reason that Spider-Man 3 turned out to be the mess that it did was due to Sony forcing Sam Raimi to include Venom and other notable characters such as Gwen and Captain Stacy strictly because they were fan favorites throughout the webhead’s history. Raimi initially wanted to tackle the Vulture with Sandman and Harry as the new Goblin along with them but because the demands from the higher ups at Sony, most notably infamous producer Avi Arad, those plans were abandoned and he had to give up Vulture for Venom. Never mind the fact that Venom is basically a two-movie arc at best and the Stacys were never even hinted at existence in the previous movies of the Raimiverse. They were here because it’s what the fans want according to Sony. Instead of being patient and saving those potential storylines for a future sequel, Spider-Man 3 tried to please everyone and their mother at the same time with introducing so many different characters and plotlines that it was just a mess. Sure, some might enjoy that movie more than others (such as yours truly), but I think most people will agree that the movie would have been much better if one side just let one side do the movie they wanted instead of just trying to appease both sides at the same time.
Despite the negative reviews for Spider-Man 3, the strong box office numbers did encourage plans for a fourth installment. Sam Raimi was set to return as director along with Tobey Maguire and Kristen Dunst in their lead roles as Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson respectively. Raimi had stated many times he was not happy with the end results of Spider-Man 3 and wanted Spider-Man 4 to be the needed return to form and the very best one yet. Spider-Man 4 was planned to include Vulture, the villain initially wanted for Spider-Man 3, along with Black Cat. However, he went through many different scripts and revisions and disliked every single one of them. Then came January 2010, which the film was set to begin filming soon to make for a planned May 2011 release date. However, Raimi was still not satisfied with the script and asked Sony for more time on it. Sony refused and because of that, Raimi stepped down from the project and Spider-Man 4 was officially cancelled. Despite the fact that Sony could have afford to give Raimi one more year because they needed a Spider-Man film out by 2012 to keep the rights to the character and NOT by 2011, they let him go and decided it was time for a full reboot.
Strike one!
The 2012 reboot turned out to be The Amazing Spider-Man, directed by Marc Webb and starred Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. It was approached by Sony as a darker, lower-scaled reboot compared to the Sam Raimi trilogy, containing a larger focus on the teen drama/high-school dynamic aspects of the character. Despite getting solid reviews at the time of it’s release and was able to make 758 million dollars worldwide, it was not the notable success that Sony had wanted, most likely due to the film’s budget of 200 to 230 million dollars. Many believed that was largely due to having a good chunk of scenes that were notably cut out of the feature film, which includes about over half an hour of deleted scenes.
When it came to figuring out where to go next with the series after the first film, The Avengers had come out and it was a global smash worldwide, making it one of the most financially successful films of all time. Because of that, Sony decided that it would be best for them to try to create a cinematic universe of their own within the universe of The Amazing Spider-Man series. Of course, an Amazing Spider-Man 2 and 3 were greenlight but also were a 4th film, a Sinister Six spin-off, a Venom movie, a Black Cat and Silver Sable movie, and even an Aunt May movie (No, I’m not joking!). With such high plans being put in motion, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 had to be a success both commercially and financially.
Two years later, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 came out and it could have not gotten worse for Sony if they tried. Not only was it received with much worse reviews than the first one but it also made even less money than the first film, making barely above 700 million dollars worldwide. While making 700 million dollars should been seen as a success, it was not in the eyes of Sony, most notably because they promised their investors that the film would make at least a billion dollars.
If you look at what went wrong from behind the scenes, it’s easy to see why The Amazing Spider-Man 2 turned out the way they did. It was a movie that drew everything but the kitchen sink at it with so many different characters, subplots, and set ups for future films. There was even several deleted scenes that hinted at even more characters and subplots such as Mary Jane Watson played by Shailene Woodley, Felicia Hardy as Black Cat, Norman Osborn alive as a frozen head, and even Peter meeting his not-actually-dead father in person. It was a directional mess where no one in involved either had any idea with what they were doing or just didn’t care in general.
Because of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 underperforming, Sony didn’t know what to do next. It’s then that they were approached by Marvel Studios who wanted to include Spider-Man in one of their upcoming films, Captain America: Civil War. When giving the offer, Sony decided to give up on trying to make their own cinematic universe of Spidey and formed a partnership with Marvel Studios, which would once again reboot the character with a different actor that would be Tom Holland. If you are keeping track at home, that is now TWO different iterations of Spider-Man that Sony wrecked due to their own incompetence and constant interference of the productions of these films.
Strike two!
While everyone has their own opinion of the MCU version of Spider-Man, I think most folks would agree that teaming up with Marvel and giving up on their Amazing Spider-Man universe was the right call for Sony. This led to Spider-Man being feature in three different films of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home, and Spider-Man: No Way Home, the latter of which is one of the highest grossing films ever, along with notable appearances in the team-up Avengers movies such as Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War, and Avengers: Endgame. However, that didn’t necessarily stop Sony from trying to make Spider-Man related movies of their own.
Believe it or not, Sony actually committed to making at least one of the spin-off movies they were planning with The Amazing Spider-Man universe, which would turn out to be Venom released in 2018. And believe it or not, despite the bad reviews, it was a massive hit for mainstream audiences, grossing over 850 million dollars worldwide. It was the success of that film that motivated for Sony to do another try at their own cinematic universe but this time putting the spotlight on villains from Spider-Man’s rose gallery.
We got Venom: Let There Be Carnage in 2021 which was a decent hit at around 506 million dollars worldwide but definitely not as much as the first one made, then came Morbius which despite it being the most meme-worthy movie ever, got awful reviews and was a big bomb at the box office (even after it got re-released in theaters again due to the memes), and now there’s Madame Web which is set to do just as bad if not worse than Morbius, both critically and commercially. Now, that makes for three different iterations of Spider-Man related properties that Sony either screw up big time or drove it into the ground.
Strike three and you are out!
It’s also worth mentioning about the brief fallout between Sony and Marvel that happened right after Far From Home came out, which almost made No Way Home not happen in it’s current form. It was believed it was largely to do with Sony and Disney having differences on the amount of profit for upcoming Spider-Man films set within the MCU. It’s also believed that Sony was about to take back the character of Spider-Man himself until Tom Holland called up Bob Iger while drunk, pleading for him and Marvel to work out a deal with Sony to keep Spider-Man in the MCU. It’s unknown whether it’s Sony or Marvel that’s the true bad guy here, the fact that Sony almost lost ANOTHER version of Spider-Man would not have been a good sign on their part.
When you really get back onto to the major problems with Spider-Man medium since 2007, all of that can be traced back to Sony. From forcing Sam Raimi to include characters he didn’t want to in Spider-Man 3, to micromanaging the hell out of The Amazing Spider-Man movies with no real road map or goal in mind, to constantly making these pointless villain origin stories in the hopes it would connect to some version of Spider-Man later on down the road, Sony has had a real problem with the web head for quite a period of time. Sure, we have had Spider-Man (2002), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and the Marvel’s Spider-Man video game series but all of those were clearly done in SPITE of Sony and not because of them.
And even if you want to include those mediums I just mentioned, I could also talk about how Sony basically rushed Insomniac to get Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 out by 2023 when they wanted to push it back to this year to add more polish and features to the game, which likely cost the GOTY awards for that game. Or about how Phil Lord and Chris Miller had to constantly rewrite the script for Across the Spider-Verse due to Sony’s constant interference on the production. Or how they are now butting heads with Marvel Studios for Spider-Man 4 because they would rather chase the success train of No Way Home by doing another multiverse movie instead of taking things down to the street-fighting levels that most fans want and build to another one later on down the road. If anything, the fact that any of those things turned out to be any good at all is simply a miracle.
And with the release of Madame Web that is set to crash and bomb at the box office, I think it’s time more than ever for Sony to give up all of their rights to Spider-Man and return them to Marvel. Aside from Spider-Man: Beyond the Spider-Verse, Marvel’s Spider-Man 3 game, and MCU’s Spider-Man 4, there is nothing they have coming up that looks even remotely promising under their control, just with the partnership with other studios. Kraven the Hunter looks like another generic by-the-numbers villain origin film, Venom 3 will likely inherit the same problems of it’s predecessors and rely strictly on Tom Hardy’s star power to save the day, and who knows if those reported Miles Morales film, Spider-Women Spider-Verse film, and that Silk series will ever see the light of day. These all could be promising projects but I trust Sony to handle them well about as far as I can throw them.
Say what you will about the current state of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but you can’t seriously tell me that they would do any worse with the full Spider-Man property than what Sony is doing right now with their villain-led cinematic universe. There’s no sign of passion or love from any off these movies coming from the cast and crew, only obligation and corporation. Just look at the press tour of Madame Web and how it’s cast and crew is openly throwing shade at the movie which they are a part off. I think even they know they made a mistake signing up because of Sony likely promising them something they never really meant.
Have there been great content under Sony’s license of Spider-Man? Absolutely! But with the current situation going on between them, Marvel, and the state of superhero movies in general, they can no longer be trusted with handling Spider-Man. They have have countless time to prove they can do Spider-Man related stories without Marvel or anyone else but they have failed spectacularly. The fact that they didn’t greenlight an Amazing Spider-Man 3 with Andrew Garfield and/or a Spider-Man 4 with Tobey Maguire after No Way Home but instead greenlighted Madame Webb and Kraven the Hunter is really all you need to know about the way they run things over there. Even they don’t know what they want for Spider-Man anymore.
Because of all that I’ve just mentioned and more, I think I speak for a large majority of Spider-Man fans out there by saying that it’s time for Spider-Man to come fully home to Marvel at long last.
Here we go again, ladies and gentlemen! Time for another installment in the HOTTEST cinematic universe going on at the movie, the S(cam)ony Villain Cinematic Universe! It started off with a BANG with the turd in the wind that was Venom, followed with Venom: Let There Be Carnage which lived up to the promise of the post credits where Woody Harrleson said, “When I get out of here and I will, there’s gonna be CARNAGE!!!!“, and then came Morbius which offered one absolutely MORBIN TIME that had audiences stand and cheer in the theaters all around the world. Finally, we have Madame Web and as it’s title suggests, it’s the ultimate MADAME WEBBING EXPEREINCE!
Sure, the plot itself might be relatively non-existent, relying on the most unlikely coincidences, multiple continuity errors, bizarre contrivances, and absolute defiance of actual logic imaginable. Sure, it might contain some of the sloppiest and incoherent editing that you will likely see all year. Sure, the action might be very poor, with a climax that is so tense that you can’t even see what the f*ck is happening onscreen. Sure, it has a talented cast that could not look more embarrassed to be there and have been crapping all over this movie throughout their entire press tour. Sure, it feels like a superhero movie that came out in 2003 (which is the actual year which this movie is set in). And sure, the biggest line of the trailer, “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died,” isn’t even in the damn movie at all. However, there is no other movie out there that is will give you a more MADAME WEBBING experience than this MADAME WEBBING masterwork!
I would go into the plot itself but considering the fact that it’s basically the plot of every Final Destination movie every and about every “chase” movie imaginable, it’s relatively pointless too. However, the big important thing here is the way that Madame Web MASTERFULLY ties into Sony’s Cinematic Universe. First off, it answers the two BIGGEST questions that EVERYONE has always had about Spider-Man! 1.) What was Uncle Ben doing in his years as a hot paramedic? and 2.) What happened the night that Peter Parker’s mother Mary, gave birth to him? I know that I was always wanting the answer to those questions and thankfully, the film answers that in a way that is so dumb that it’s secretly brilliant. The LAYERS this film has are just something else!
We of course have to get into the four leading women carrying the picture! They could not have had more perfect chemistry if they even tried. Even though the ways they are connected with each other is probably some of the biggest coincidences I’ve ever seen in an motion picture with relationship dynamics that make little to no sense (Mattie is angry as Anya for literally no reason throughout the entire movie!), it’s something so refreshing to see so many women leading a superhero flick! Sure, The Marvels was….okay I guess but Madame Web is really how a female-lead superhero film is suppose to be! You just let them work out their girl powers (No pun intended!) and let them kick ass in ways that are incoherent and hard to follow on screen. And unlike The Marvels which was a huge bomb, Madame Web is for sure set to make MADAME WEBBING DOLLARS!
And unlike say that woke Suicide Squad game that made me not want to wank off to Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman, Madame Web actually lets the ladies show off a little screen. With their nice hair, skin tight outfits, and absurd amount of make up that makes them look like models (despite them all suppose to be teenage girls that are really played by girls in their 20s), this is definitely a female-led movie that’s made for guys. After all, women in superhero media aren’t suppose to be their own fleshed out characters who have their own goals, personalities, and superpowers, they only exist to be in interest of men and men alone. Let women have Barbie! Way to know your audience, Sony!
Of course, this is all Dakota Johnson’s movie as it’s suppose to be considering well..it is a Madame Web movie that tells the origin story of Madame Web. I will warn you though, it’s an INCREDIBLY slow burn where nothing much happens and you’ll likely find yourself as half awake that Dakota Johnson looks in the entire movie. You get every single detail about Cassie Webb in her early days as a hot paramedic, right down to spending time with her cat and how she absurdly got her powers. Although, it doesn’t revolve around the Amazon with her mom when she was researching spiders right before she died, it does take it’s time to show off the same superpower over and over and over again because the writers can’t seem to think of any other clever way to show off her powers. It does require your patience but I promise you the whole ten seconds of her in that ICONIC red suit at the VERY end of the movie is all worth it.
And speaking of which, this movie does SUCH a good job as fleshing out these female characters that you don’t even notice that they aren’t even in their Spider-Women costumes for 99.999999% of the movie. From my estimate, the ladies have about as much screentime in their superHERoine outfits as Taylor Swift did in the Super Bowl, which was a mere 54 seconds btw. Even though the whole purpose of a superHERoine origin story is seeing them turn into a superHERoine at least by the half way point, this cleverly keeps it as minimum as possible, leaving the audience want more from the future. After all, as the good old saying goes, LESS is MORE! And you could have not done MORE with LESS than with this movie.
A big credit has to go to writing duo of Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless. Coming high off their MORBIN masterpiece that was Morbius, they somehow are able to top themselves here! They manage to come up with a script that feels like the most sloppy first copy of a draft imaginable, almost like the equivalent of writing things on the fly, and have it feel as disjointed of a film that I’ve ever seen. It’s GENIUS writing if I’ve ever seen one! This is the kind of duo that should be an inspiration to screenwriters everywhere! Because now you know you can have a script that has no coherent storyline or consistent character motivations in order to get a movie made!
We also have to get credit to S.J. Clarkson, making her directional film debut. Sure, she might have directed some okay episodes of Jessica Jones and The Defenders but she REALLY brought her A-game here. That might have to do with the fact that the film at large feels like a two-hour pilot for a television series that will likely NEVER see the light of day. With the way the low 80 million dollar budget is painfully on screen, how it has so many forced tie-ins at such a brisk pace, and how by the end, it leaves plenty of plot elements up in the air for future entries to continue upon, she could not have been a better choice for Sony. She was able to make a film that stood strictly on it’s own that it didn’t even need a post credit scene to justify it’s existence. Take notes, Disney and Marvel!
The cinematography is stunning with so much visual imagery that dives deeply into Cassie’s self conscious and her powers, the editing feels incredibly ADHD and feels more like it was edited by folks who do trailers rather than movies, the action is all over the place and sloppy like it’s main characters are, and the score is so one note you could swear that Johan Söderqvist was half awake the entire time composing it. And unlike other superhero flicks, it actually spares most of the CGI and saves it for it’s intense climax, with effects that look about as fake and green screen than any movie that I’ve seen in quite some time. An absolute A effort for everyone involved.
In conclusion, Madame Web truly lives up to it’s title and makes for a Madame Webbing time at the theaters. It’s so astonishing that it leaves me anxious to see where this ill-fated and not thought out at all cinematic universe is going. More importantly, which Spider-Man universe is this suppose to connect in? It was suppose to be Andrew Garfield but no one liked that whiny brat in the Amazing Spider-Man movies so pass. It was suppose to be Tom Holland until Sony realized that would make NO logical sense for this to take place in the MCU, so much so that they had to rewrite the entire script while shooting. And with the way Peter Parker is born in this movie, it leaves the room for ANOTHER Spider-Man to join this universe in the future.
Even so, we got Kick-Ass/the inferior Quicksilver coming up as Kraven the Hunter in August and Bane/Mad Max in Venom 3 coming out in October. There’s PLENTY of content we have left to get through before the inevitable Sinister Six movie happens and Sony makes up their mind on whatever Spider-Man they want to join this universe. With this cinematic universe clearly not slowing down any time soon, I think Marvel Studios and DC should be taking notes here. This is how you do a cinematic universe!
Madame Webbing Web made for one Madame Webbing time and I can’t wait to see this film madame webbing again.
This is an easy four out of stars for me! Move over Dune Part II and Deadpool III, THIS is the movie of 2024!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! Especially you, Sony! Keep up the madame webbing work!
Thanks for checking out my review! I sure hope it was as sloppy and all over the place as this entire film was!
Real thoughts:
This movie is undoubtedly the most fascinating mess of a movie that I’ve seen in quite some time, feeling more like a POC than an actual feature film. It’s certainly more competently made than say….Morbius but it feels as ever bit as much of an obligation to make as that. I might have to make a piece on this soon but after Beyond the Spider-Verse, Sony really needs to give the film rights of Spider-Man back to Marvel. These villain movies are becoming more and more nonsensical by the day. It’s clear that audiences don’t want to see them as much as Sony doesn’t want to make them! So, stop doing it, please!
Maybe a one and a half out of four stars if I’m being generous.
Probably will change it to one out of four stars once I sleep on it though!
With Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League now out, why not rank it among the other installments in the Batman: Arkham gaming series, since it has been confirmed canon to that same universe whether we all like it or not.
I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say that this is probably considering the best superhero gaming franchise out there with the possible exception being Insomniac’s Spider-Man series. This is a series that not just revolutionized the character of Batman to a new generation but superhero triple A games in general. And the fact that these games are still being talked about and played to this very day despite beginning 15 years ago, with the latest installment coming nine years after the previous one, just goes to show you the impact and pure staying power that these games have had.
A big disclaimer here, I’m only doing games that were released on the main consoles and are generally considered the main series installments. I was considering trying to secure a copy of Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate and Batman Arkham VR before doing this list but a.) I couldn’t find the charger for my Nintendo 3DS and b.) I couldn’t find a PlayStation VR that was super cheap. So because of that, those games will be off the list.
This will cover the four main series Batman: Arkham games along with the newest addition, Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League. Let’s get right down to it!
5.) Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League
Do I have the hate boner for this game that the majority of the internet has? Not really. Does that mean this game was worth the near decade long wait from Rocksteady? Again, not really. Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League feels like a game that was basically doomed from the start. Not just because this was a game nearly a decade in the making and following Rocksteady’s previous track record with their successful Batman: Arkham games but it was basically by design made to chase the worst kind of trends in modern gaming imaginable. It certainly does it better than most (at least compared to the likes of say Marvel’s Avengers) but like most, it’s own restrictions holds it back for it’s true potential.
It may get the job done by offering a typical action and shoot-them-up game for the Overwatch and Fortnite crowd, and at least has the decency to make the majority of content free (if not free to use offline) but it really doesn’t bother to be anything much else, which goes against what Rocksteady had stood for years now. The plot feels more like a 12-year old’s “What if?” edge lord fan-fiction than it does as being a true continuation of the Arkhamverse, giving the clear indication that this is only in the Arkham name for the sake of boosting sales rather than because anyone thought this truly belong in the same canon.
Yes, the upcoming seasonal content could fix the majority of the complaints and have this game get a resurgence later on down the road (similar to EA’s Star Wars Battlefront 2) but the fact we might have to wait over a year to get all of that says more about this game chasing trends for the sake of chasing trends and not much else. I don’t know whether this was Rocksteady or Warner Bro’s doing but both are capable of much more than this. Is it at least a playable game? Sure! Is it the weakest of this entire series? Without a shadow of a doubt!
4.) Batman: Arkham Origins
For years, Batman: Arkham Origins had the reputation of being the black sheep of the Arkham games. Nothing but the forgotten step child of the bunch and some even like to pretend doesn’t exist. On the surface, it’s easy to see why. This is the only one of the main four Arkham games to NOT be developed by Rocksteady, it doesn’t have the legendary Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill in their roles as Batman and Joker respectively, and was basically the one that acted the most as a “filler” game that was basically made to buy time between the releases of Arkham City and Arkham Knight. There were also multiple reports of bugs and glitches that plagued the game for most people, which I was NOT one of them. However, when looking at the game itself now time has past and updates of the game have been made, Arkham Origins is actually a really damn good game in it’s own right and is highly underrated.
The gameplay is as fluid and fun as it is in the other Arkham games, the addition of the shock gloves is a neat one, seeing Bruce Wayne in his younger, more reckless stage as Batman is engaging and perhaps the most interesting in the entire series, the voice work from Roger Craig Smith’s Batman and Troy Baker’s Joker is great, and it has hands down has the best boss fights in the entire Arkham franchise, with the Deathstroke one in particular being an all-timer. Not to mention, even Alfred gets his time to shine here, including that great scene where he tries to stop Bruce from going out as Batman, showing he truly sees Bruce as his son and not just as his butler. Sure, it does feel like a pre-heated meal compared to the three Rocksteady Batman games and it did suck to see them pull a switch-a-roo with Black Mask not being the actual villain to make room for the Joker but those flaws are no where near a deal breaker for this game.
While not the best, Arkham Origins easily remains the most underappreciated game in the Arkhamverse. To this day, I don’t understand the scorn that fans have with this game or even why both Rocksteady and WB Games Montreal feels so obligated to pretend this game never happened. I understand being critical of this game when looking at it from a business and commercial standpoint (with it being a “filler” game and all) but looking at it’s own thing and the limited amount of time that WB Games Montreal was given, Arkham Origins is a really solid game with gameplay features and story elements that are among the very best of the Arkham games. I remember playing the hell out of this game when I got in on Christmas Day back in 2013 and enjoying it all the same and still do this very day.
3.) Batman: Arkham Knight
The (original) ending of the Arkhamverse divided Batman’s fans everywhere when it arrived in 2015. While plenty found it to be a worthy send-off for this iteration of Batman, others were frustrated by it due to the new elements that the game itself included. However, as the dust settles and in the wake of lesser superhero games that are somewhat Arkham related such as Gotham Knights and Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League, there seems to be more appraisal towards it. While I did feel a bit cold of this game upon my first playthrough of it, Batman: Arkham Knight has only gotten better with age and easily grows on me each time that I play it.
Yes, there’s too much of the Batmobile that gets more tedious the more the game progresses. Yes, the Arkham Knight reveal is very obvious if you know the Batman lore. Yes, the final showdown with Deadshot is underwhelming. And yes, those goddamn Riddler trophies can go to hell! However, there’s plenty of greatness to be found here! We finally have a fully realized Gotham world that’s fun to explore, the gameplay is the best and more polished than ever before, the voice work is superb, the story is the most stake-heavy with resonating themes that feel very Batman appropriate, the graphics is some of the best in any video game, and is able to find a fitting end to a character that isn’t very well known for having definite endings. Yes, the flaws are still presented and prevent it from being as good as it’s main predecessors from Rocksteady but so are the overall strengths for it.
Do I think Arkham Knight is as good as Asylum or City? Not quite but I do feel there are plenty of instances where it comes pretty darn close. So much so that I wouldn’t be surprised if one day, it would surpass at least Asylum for me. Regardless of the quality of the new Suicide Squad game, I do love how it has encourages fans to look back on this series and see the amazing accomplishments that these games have turned out to be. Showcasing how superhero and license video games don’t have to suck. When you have the right amount of right people who want to create something special, it’s then you will have a gaming series as successful as the Batman Arkham series. Had this been the last true game we got in this universe, I would have been more than okay for how satisfying of a game it truly is.
2.) Batman: Arkham Asylum
You would be hard pressed to find a superhero or even licensed game that was able to define the seventh generation of consoles than Batman: Arkham Asylum. After so many Batman games have come and gone with mixed results, this was the first one that just perfectly capture the distinct feeling of being the Caped Crusader himself. Coming off the year after the release of The Dark Knight which helped set the golden standard for superhero movies, DC and Rocksteady was able to follow the success of that greatly with Batman:Arkham Asylum, the game which helped set the golden standard for superhero licensed games.
Batman: Arkham Asylum is ever bit as awesome as you remembered it was back in 2009. While the boss fights are still rather weak and I don’t fully buy Joker’s “let’s create an army of Banes” master plan, nearly everything else is done rather flawlessly that it’s hard to let those minor gripes bring down the entire game. The combat is absolutely fun with plenty of inventive ways to beat your opponents, the gadgets always come in handy, the detective aspects add a ton to the experience and character of Batman, the entire Arkham island itself is cool to explore, the unlockables are so eager to collect, the voice acting is incredibly stellar, and there’s never a second which you don’t feel like you are in control of The Dark Knight himself.
This is a game that has continued to stand the test time, even 14 years later. For a studio that was relatively unknown before Arkham Asylum came out, there was no better way for Rocksteady to put themselves on the map for gamers all around after crafting this absolute achievement of a video game. If you are a Batman fan and somehow still have not checked this game out, I highly recommend it. Even if you are not a Batman fan and want a really fun action packed game, then I recommend it too. Perhaps it might even turn you into a Batman fan yourself just like I imagine it did for gamers everywhere back in 2009. If 2008 showed how good superhero films can get with The Dark Knight, then 2009 showed how good superhero games can get with Batman: Arkham Asylum! Even to this day, the Caped Crusader remains the standard!
1.) Batman: Arkham City
If you want to talk about a quintessential Batman game, look no further than this masterpiece! After the critical success of Arkham Asylum, Rocksteady knew exactly the direction where to go to top themselves and it perfectly shows throughout the game. Not only does Batman: Arkham City act as a perfect sequel to Arkham Asylum but it also acts as a perfect Batman game and just a perfect superhero game in general. It takes everything you loved by Arkham Asylum, tweaks some of the things that didn’t work about it, throws in some new elements, and is able to off a much grander and wide open world where you truly feel like Batman. If that is not the signs of a great follow-up, then I don’t know what can.
The combat is improved in every way and offers more unique and inventive ways to take down criminals, seeing Batman pushed beyond his limits is always fascinating to see, Arkham City is incredibly fun to explore, Catwoman is a great new addition, the missions from both the main and side stories are all interesting, it’s paced extremely well, the story is the best in the series, the music and voice work are outstanding, and the ending with the death of the Joker will always be an all-timer. This is a game that’s so good that even the little things you can nitpick at (such as Hugo Strange being reduced to being a background villain despite teasing to be the main driving force of the game) aren’t worth mentioning because it doesn’t feel like flaws in any way but more of a tiny little blemish you find on a flawless face. Not to say this game is 100% flawless because no game is but it just feels like that whenever you are playing it.
I don’t think Rocksteady could have followed up Arkham Asylum any better than they did here. If anything, one could make the strong argument that Batman: Arkham City basically acts as to date Rocksteady’s Magnum Opus, a marvelous achievement that every cast and crew apart of this game should be extremely proud of, even 13 years later. Batman: Arkham City is not only the best game in the Arkhamverse for me but it’s one of my all-time favorite games period. I’ve played through this game so many times and I wouldn’t be surprised if I have several more playthroughs with it in the future. As much as I love Spider-Man, when it comes to pure superhero gaming entertainment, Batman: Arkham City still remains on top!
*Warning! This article contains MAJOR spoilers for Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League! If you haven’t played the game yet and/or don’t want anything spoiled for you, then you might want to click off the article right now! You have been warned!*
Oh, boy! Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League is perhaps the hottest and most controversial game at the moment! Even before it’s release, there has been plenty of things that have inspired it’s controversy. From the required online services to it’s obsessed looter-shooter mechanics to this not being a Superman or Batman Beyond game, things were not looking too bright for Rocksteady’s first console game since the mid 2010s. And the fact that it was delayed numerous times didn’t seem to help much either! However, there is certainly not been a bigger controversy of this game than that of Batman’s role. Before we dive deep into why people are angry about how Batman was handled in Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League and whether or not it’s justified, let’s go back a bit to see what happened with the Caped Crusader between Arkham Knight and into this game.
As we all know, Batman: Arkham Knight for a while was considered the definite conclusion to the Arkhamverse. After all, the game ended with Bruce’s identity being revealed to the world by Scarecrow, which gave the orphan playboy billionaire the impression that his time as Batman in Gotham has come to an end. By installing an emergency protocol he activated in case his true self ever got exposed, formerly known as the Knightfall protocol, that led Bruce to faking the death of himself and (presumably) Alfred to have the world think he is dead and hopefully keep those he cares about out of harm’s way. Despite everyone else in Gotham believing he is dead, it’s revealed in the very last scene of the game where two muggers attack a family in an alley that Bruce might in fact still be alive but cosplaying as a nightmarish figure resembling Batman, using the fear toxin from Scarecrow to make that happen.
Even though Arkham Knight was designed to be the true endgame for this iteration of Batman, it still had such an open ending that could open the door to pretty much anything if this series would ever be continued. For a while, there were rumors and speculations that suggested this would lead to the likes of a Damian Wayne-lead Batman game which would have Bruce Wayne in his “Batman Beyond” phase. This game was confirmed by voice actor Josh Keaton to be true and he would have been the voice of Damian Wayne himself. However, due to leaks and potentially WB Games Montreal (the studio that was developing the game) having cold feet on having a game focused on Damian Wayne taking on the Bat mantle, that project never came to pass.
It was then that project would later turn into Gotham Knights, putting the focus on the other members of the Bat family with Robin, Nightwing, Red Hood, and Batgirl after Bruce Wayne’s supposed death. Despite being a reasonable thematic follow-up to Arkham Knight, that game was not considered part of the Arkham canon and stood alone as it’s own game. After several years of rumors of a potential Superman game set in the Arkham universe along with the un-canon release of Gotham Knights, the true continuation of the Arkham canon came with Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League, which the version of Batman would be the same one as we’ve been following in Arkham Asylum, City, Origins, and Knight.
The game states that after Arkham Knight, Bruce disappeared for several years until Superman found him. After he found Bruce, Superman asked for him to come back as Batman and join the Justice League. An offer which Bruce accepted. So now, Bruce as a new home in Metropolis and a new purpose as Batman in the form of the Justice League. Because of all that, the story of Bruce Wayne as Batman continues….even though everyone in the world knows his true identity.
And…that is literally all the context that the game gives us. There have been a few expansion novelization that suggest that post-Arkham Knight, Bruce was depressed and felt his live was ruined after Scarecrow revealed his identity, with the mindset that joining the Justice League would cure him of his depression and allow him to continue his crime fighting persona. But other than that, just about everything that has gone on with Batman between games happened offscreen with major important context being completely handwaved.
When you view that status quo with the little context the game offers us, that basically renders the ending of Arkham Knight rather meaningless. Why did Bruce go through all that trouble in faking his death to protect his friends if he was just going to come back in another city as Batman? By that point, criminals were no longer afraid of him and the world knowing his identity would put his friends in graver danger than ever before. Did Bruce just assume he trained his companions hard enough where they could handle any danger by themselves without his presence, even though Arkham Knight showed us they clearly can NOT?! And what happened with Alfred? Did he die with Knightfall Protocol or was he presumably killed offscreen by evil Batman like his other companions have been (We’ll go into THAT soon enough!)? The game doesn’t really give us any answers to those questions. While that is understandable from a narrative standpoint because this is suppose to be a Suicide Squad game first, it just makes it all the more clear that this could not have been a worse game to continue the plot threads of the Arkhamverse. Instead of getting a Superman or Justice League game first that might expand on that status quo and even justify it, it’s thrown to the wayside where you basically have to fill in the blanks yourself.
When it comes to Batman’s role in the game, he is basically in his pure evil form the whole way through due to being mind controlled by Brainiac. So much so, that he does what normal Batman would not do….kill people. This is shown in the very first sequence with him when he encounters the Suicide Squad. He blatantly uses his batarang to murder security guards and comes close to beating mind-controlled Barry Allen to death until he is ordered by Brainiac to keep him alive. Although, as usual in mediums where Batman breaks his “no kill” policy, it’s incredibly inconsistent. Like, he has no problem wiping out security guards and even the freaking FLASH but when he has the squad pinned down, he just screws off because otherwise….the game would be over in an hour.
However, as someone who tries to overprepare for EVERYTHING in his life, Batman even offered preparations in case something like himself and the Justice League being mind controlled by Brainiac happened. This is revealed in a recorded message once the Suicide Squad breaks into the Batcave. This was a message intended for his companions: Robin, Nightwing, and Oracle (which I guess answers one of those questions I stated before) as a guide on how to stop the Justice League if the group became compromised. Unfortunately, it’s revealed that Robin got taken out by evil Batman with the fates of the other two, Jason, and Alfred being unknown (which proves how dumb of a decision it was for Bruce to come back as Batman leaving his companions defenseless).
It’s then you fight Batman in his nightmare form he had been fighting in since Arkham Knight. After a rather intense sequence where you have to spread the Bat lab with fear toxin gas, you confront the nightmare fueled caped crusader head on until you’ve shoot at him enough times to beat him. The end results leaves Bats badly wounded and bleeding everywhere. The squad takes him to Lex Luthor’s lab, who uses Batman to develop golden kryptonite weapons to kill Superman. In comes the most talked about scene of the game!
In order to lore Superman out of hiding, the squad takes Batman out in the open to execute him. After Harley gives a speech about the history the two have shared throughout this series of games and Batman calling the speech s*it, Harley shoots Batman blank in the face and kills him. Supposedly putting an end to the Arkham Batman as we know it and possibly the last time we will ever hear Kevin Conroy’s voice as Batman.
To say this has pissed people off would be an understatement! To take a version of the character that is considered to be the definite Batman medium in terms of video games and possibly all forms of entertainment and kill him off in such an unceremonious way is guarantee backlash from day one! However, there may be something here that we are NOT aware off and will have to await for seasonal content to determine the true outcome.
First off, I will say right off the bat! DO NOT USE KEVIN CONROY’S DEATH TO DRAG BATMAN’S TREATMENT OF THIS GAME THROUGH THE MUD! THAT IS DISGRACEFUL AND UNCALLED FOR!
No one at Rocksteady could have predicted his death and I’m fairly certain his voice work was recorded at least a few years before his untimely passing. Let’s also not forget that Kevin Conroy himself DID agree to do the voice work for Batman in this game and (if sources close to him are any indication) was perfectly okay with what was done with Batman in this game. It’s not like this is some A.I.-generated voice or anything, this was in fact all Kevin Conroy. The man NEVER once stated that Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League would be his final time voicing the character. It was just unfortunate this had to be one of the very last times for him to do it!
Secondly, let’s not act like Harley Quinn or anyone else is incompetent or isn’t capable of taking the Bats down. After all, this was the same Harley Quinn that was able to capture Batman in her DLC for Arkham City and would have in fact killed him due to lack of oxygen if it wasn’t for Robin saving his life. And if you continue to treat this game as canon to the Arkhamverse, it does tie back to Arkham City and Arkham Knight of Harley Quinn seeking vengeance against Batman for the death of her pudding. Yes, it seems like little HQ is over her pudding’s passing throughout the game, but it does thematically feel natural to her character.
Thirdly, and I’m pretty sure this has basically been confirmed through leaks, this is NOT the same Batman as the one we’ve been following since the Arkham games. What I mean by that is I’m fairly certain that upcoming DLC will reveal that the evil Batman presented throughout the game is not the real Batman but a clone made from the same DNA by Brainiac. The evil Batman that is presented throughout feels so out of left fired compared to the prior Arkham games that I would be shocked if it was not revealed that the Batman in this game is a fake and the real one is still out there somewhere.
If you don’t believe me, there are plenty of hints throughout the game that give the indication that the Justice League presented in the game are in fact not the real ones. You have the Flash that was able to regrow his finger after it got cut off, there’s Green Lantern whose ring doesn’t act the way it normally does, Superman surviving the kryptonite from Wonder Woman, all of the bodies of the JL after their “death” being teleported back to Brainiac’s ship, and even just the fact Brainiac refers to the Justice League at the final battle as MY Justice League and not THE Justice League. Not to mention, this is literally the same game where you have to go to another world to find another Lex Luthor after the one in this universe was killed off by The Flash. It’s time travel at will!
And if you are wondering about the hints of Batman’s potential resurrection, a recent video by the GOAT Batman Arkham Videos, found a hidden easter egg that teases that exact possible outcome for the future. There’s a hidden message in the forms of calendars scattered throughout Metropolis, each highlight a specific date, which the one from December has the bat symbol labeled on the date of the 14th. These calendars serve as a nod to Calendar Man, a villain from Arkham City, and spells out a message in twelve letters that makes sense once you crack the code. That message states, “He will return!” If that’s not a sign that Rocksteady is not done with their version of Batman yet, then I don’t know what is.
I’m sure there will be PLENTY of folks that will claim that Rocksteady would only resurrect Batman and the other previously fallen Justice League members due to the massive backlash of the game but if the hints, easter eggs, and leaked audio of the upcoming DLC is any indication, it’s clear this was planned from the very beginning. Plus, as we should all know now the old saying of comic book storylines, no one ever stays dead except for Uncle Ben and the Waynes.
The bigger question isn’t so much about if Rocksteady plans to revive Batman and the rest of the Justice League but more of when and how? Will they stick to their guns and release the seasonal content when they originally planned to? Will they release ASAP in response to the negative reception of the game? Were they able to get voice recordings of Kevin Conroy’s Batman for this DLC before his death or would they need to recast in order to do so? I’m sure those questions will be answered as 2024 goes around but I’m fairly certain that this will be the final outcome for the Arkham Batman.
Although this is the main problem with live-services games that rely on seasonal content to determine the final outcome of the game but the only thing we can all do is wait and see. While Batman’s resurrection will not solve all of the problems with his inclusion in this game, I am hopeful Rocksteady is able to find some alternative that can either continue his story in this universe or find a real proper ending for the character.
Even if Batman is getting much proper treatment in the upcoming DLC, I still consider Arkham Knight to be the true definite send-off for this iteration of Batman. Anything afterwards to me is basically a “What If?” scenario and nothing else. If it’s done well, I can be like “Yeah, I guess that would be cool!” If it’s not done well, I can then be like, “Well, at least it ended with the last game for me!” I have my Batman games to look back upon fondly and nothing this game does can take that away from me!
Regardless, I’m grateful we got to hear Kevin Conroy voice Batman at least one more time for a big major title! And as I said in my main review, he sounded just as good there as he did when he first put the cape and cowl on back in the 90s with Batman: The Animated Series!
After a near decade long wait, Rocksteady has FINALLY return to the scene with Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League, the studio’s first console game since Batman: Arkham Knight. After the massive success and acclaim of the Batman: Arkham series, I’m pretty sure everyone and their mother had been wondering what this studio would tackle next after such an impressive achievement with that beloved franchise of games. Would they continue that timeline with a Batman Beyond game with a big focus on Damien Wayne? Would they do a modern Superman game running on the same Arkham engine? Would they do a full-on Justice League game? Or would they do something completely original that doesn’t involve DC superheroes? While all of those development cycles had been rumored or speculated for years now, none of those ended up being the case whatsoever. Instead what we have is a brand new Suicide Squad game with the subtitled Kill The Justice League.
Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League takes place in that same Arkhamverse as the Rocksteady Batman games and the one from WB Games Montreal, that puts an emphasis on third-person shooting, exploring an open world, and (at least at the time of writing) requires your service online to be able to experience the game fully. The game was announced in August 2020 was set for a 2022 release date until that got delayed multiple times to improve the overall quality of the game. More DLC in season passes is expected to arrive over the course of the year and possibly even more depending on how the services are later on down the road.
I can’t speak for everyone but I really don’t think a Suicide Squad game was the follow-up of Batman: Arkham Knight from Rocksteady that we all expected or even wanted. Perhaps had there been a few games before this on, such as the previously mention Batman Beyond,Superman and/or Justice League game, it would feel more welcome. But, for a game that has been reported to be in development since at least 2017 and coming from a successful studio who hasn’t released a full game since 2015 (Batman Arkham VR does NOT count!), Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League acting as the first blimp in the radar in what seems like forever doesn’t really inspire much courage.
However, at the end of the day, you can only judge a game based off the final product. And considering I already promised I would do a review for this game when it came out as a means to include my Batman: Arkham marathon, I have no choice to do just that. Is Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League able to make the best out of the worst possible situation or does it really deserve to be dragged through the mud like it has been by the majority of the internet? Let’s start off by talking about perhaps the most conversational aspect of the game, the story!
Story:
First off, I will say I will try my very best to avoid major spoilers. However, considering the fact that the actual premise of the game could be considered a giant spoiler with itself along with the actual subtitle of the game, I can’t make any promises that you won’t at least read between the lines with what I’m about to talk off. And that’s not even mentioning the leaks to the upcoming DLC that basically confirms that events of this game will be retconned or at least the supposed body count will likely not lead to having to carve headstones after all. Either way, if by some chance, you have NOT been spoiled by Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League in ANY way, I would advise skipping this part of the review. There is your warning!
Taking place five years after the events of Arkham Knight, we turn our focus of the series to a group of criminals imprisoned in the Arkham Asylum assembled by A.R.G.U.S. director Amanda Waller. This group is known as Task Force X, A.K.A. the Suicide Squad. The members of the Suicide Squad include Harley Quinn, Deadshoot, Captain Boomerang, and King Shark, who are all forced to fight against their will by Amanda Waller because of little bombs that are implemented inside their head, which Waller can activate at any given moment.
Waller sends the team of Arkham misfits to Metropolis, which is under attack by an all-powerful villain known as Brainiac. It’s discovered that Brainiac has took control over the minds of four of the five members of the Justice League, which includes Superman, Batman, Flash, and Green Lantern, with Wonder Woman being the only member free from his clutches. At first, the team is instructed to find a way to free the male league members from Brainiac’s control and save them all from their evil form. However, after encounters with a brainwashed Green Lantern and Batman along with butting heads with a brainwashed Flash, Waller and the Task Force team soon come to realize that saving them can no longer be an option. The only way to save Metropolis now is by killing the Justice League members all together with Brainiac along with them.
But because most of the Justice League consists of all-powerful superheroes that have special powers that no ordinary living being does, they can’t take beat them with their normal wits and weaponry but need knowledge and resources from a special someone to unlock the secrets to murdering each Justice League member one-by-one. That special someone is no other than Lex Luthor.
However, after something happens to the Arkhamverse Lex Luthor that makes him no longer available, the squad teleported themselves into the elseworlds (basically the DC equivalent of the multiverse) to find a Lex Luthor from another world. The elseworld Lex Luthor confirms to Task Force X that he had worked with the Lex Luthor from their world to prepare for Brainiac’s invasion after he failed to do so in his world. He agrees to go to the world of the Suicide Squad and help them find a way to stop Brainiac and the evil Justice League before Metropolis is completely destroyed.
Commanded by Amanda Waller and assistance from the likes of Lex Luthor and a still-good Wonder Woman, the Suicide Squad must risk their neck and lives to wipe out the members of the corrupted Justice League and Brainiac before even more damage is done in Metropolis and possibly the entire Arkhamverse and elseworlds.
Okay, before I got into how much this story just does not work in the context of being set in the same universe as the prior Batman: Arkham games, I feel like it’s only fair to discuss why this story just doesn’t work on it’s own terms. It starts off decent, with solid introductions to the squad, a fun tour of the Hall of Justice and viewing the status quo of the Arkhamverse, and a tense boss sequence once you come up against Evil Batman for the first time. However, after a somewhat promising start, it falls off the rails completely once it really gets going.
You have ideas and concepts that are barely explored, a pace that seems rushed and all over the place, outcomes of major characters that are handwaved and/or treated as edgy jokes, and an ending that makes it feel like nothing much was accomplished. It’s baffling after making fine use of it at the start that the story seems to lose interest in it’s own concept, trying way too hard to make the Suicide Squad the REAL heroes of the story and not act as the criminal freaks that they are.
The idea of the plot itself could make for a fun spoof of a comic book game storyline with such a ridiculously unapologetic “I don’t give a f*ck! We’re playing by our own rules!”, mirroring the likes of Deadpool, Metal Gear Rising Revengeance, and Sunset Overdrive. However, where as those games at least have a self aware charm to it that lets it’s audience in for such a crazy ride, Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League comes across as more crude and mean spirited than anything else.
That’s not even going in how distractingly similar this is to the plot of Marvel’s Avengers (2020), which this game falls to many of similar trappings with but with different results. Just replace the Avengers with the Justice League, M.O.D.O.K. with Brainiac, and instead of saving the heroic team, you have to kill them, and it’s basically the same plot at it’s core. It’s so familiar that it makes me wonder if this was originally suppose to be a full-on Justice League game but decided it against after seeing the backlash that Marvel’s Avengers got.
When talking about this plot within the context of the Arkhamverse, it’s even worse. This doesn’t so much feel like a continuation of the Arkham canon but more as a 12 year old “What If?” edge lord fanfiction that has only slightly more thought put into it than that Death of Batman fan film. The characters brought back from the prior Arkham games don’t feel even remotely like their previous versions.
Harley seems to have long forgotten about her pudding (Which she doesn’t even say in the game btw!) and feels more in line with the Harley Quinn from the Max animated series than she does of her Arkham counterpart, and that’s not just because she revealed to have actually been in a relationship between Poison Ivy, despite them never EVER being a thing in the previous Arkham games. Riddler and Penguin feel like they were shoehorned in with not much explanation as to why they are no longer in Gotham. And I would say something about Batman’s characterization but I’m saving an entire piece for that.
It’s not that this story couldn’t work within the Arkhamverse but this just seemed like the very wrong game to continue that story with. It’s because having to focus on the Suicide Squad themselves that big questions that people have had since Arkham Knight such as why Bruce came back as Batman and when did the Justice League assemble are given the most “hand-wavey” answers imaginable that gloss over big important context. It only seems like Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League was included in the Arkham canon just for the sake of boosting sales and NOT for the sake of expanding the world even further. When even Gotham Knights feels more like a thematically worthy follow-up to Arkham Knight, you have a big problem on your hand.
The only time the story itself shines is within the characterization of it’s main cast and a handful of interactions. The entire sequence in the first hour where you tour the Hall of Justice and see the way the Justice League team in this universe is characterized within recorded hologram messages is very satisfying to see. It really felt like the writers did their homework when it came to realizing the true appeal of these characters. So much so, it makes you wonder why they went through the trouble of making them feel likable when we are going to have to kill them anyway. The main standouts here involve Superman and Wonder Woman, who basically acts as the protagonist of the story and a guide for Task Force X themselves. It only makes you wish you were playing a Superman or Justice League game instead of this one.
The Suicide Squad members do get some fun moments to themselves as well. Even within the rather crude and tryhard like tone, there’s a few times where most of the jokes and banter pays off. The back-and-forth between the squad and the Flash is fun, it’s cute to see Harley being a Wonder Woman fangirl all of a sudden (even if it makes zero sense in the context of the Arkhamverse), Boomerang gets the most hilarious lines in the game and there’s one sequence which Amanda Waller goes batshit crazy that’s actually satisfying to watch. It sucks that most of the characters are as enjoyable as they are and makes you wish more effort was put into the actual plot itself.
The story itself is possibly the worst thing about this game. It doesn’t work as it’s own thing and it most CERTAINLY doesn’t work as a continuation of the Arkhamverse. Even if there were ideas that might have been interesting on paper, the execution could not be anything less than before. It’s clear that the story took a backseat for everything else about this game and it clearly shows.
However, considering this is intended to be a live service game first, the gameplay is what matters the most. Does that fare any better? Kind of, but not really.
Gameplay:
Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League is an action-adventure game that is set in the open world of Metropolis. It features four playable characters which are no other than the Suicide Squad members themselves. There’s Harley Quinn, Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, and King Shark.
Despite all four characters controlling similarly, each of them has their own kind of weapons, melee combat style, and traversal method for them to chose from. When it comes to weaponry, it involves each class being shared by two of the four characters that are available at the time of release. When it comes to unique move sets and ways to travel, each of the them has a feature that stands out. You have Harley Quinn that has a baseball bat and travel using Batman’s grapple gun, you have Deadshot that has his own guns and can jetpack his way throughout Metropolis, you have Captain Boomerang that can you his boomerang to teleport to where ever it goes and his own gun, and you have King Shark that can jump high and far and his own lovely machine gun. Despite having similar controls, they all are designed to feel differently from one another, making certain missions feel like you should play as one specific character over the other three.
There is also a progression skill tree that is included here. It allows for player to level up to stronger and different skill sets at any point of the game. The more enemies you kill and more missions you complete throughout the game, the higher your ranking will go for ever character. However, each character can only level up individually and is not something you can do with the whole group at one time. The only exception is if you playing through multiplayer mode.
And speaking of multiplayer, while the entire game can be played solo, it does include a four-player co-op multiplayer mode, that can be play with someone you are playing with in person or through online. When playing solo, players can switch between any characters while the other characters are controlled by the game’s AI. However, you aren’t allowed to switch between different characters during a certain mission and can only do that again once you have completed that mission or die before switching up again.
When it comes to the missions themselves, there is literally about three different types that are introduced here. All of them are ones you can beat with the most mindless button mashing and straight forward objectives imaginable for a loot box filled, third-person shooter. You have missions where it involves taking control of enemy bases, there are missions where you have to protect enemies from your allies, and missions where you have to escort someone in a big truck. And that’s basically it when it terms to variety with the missions.
None of them play differently than the other, there’s no interesting mix thrown in between each one, they don’t seem to get much harder or easier as it goes on, and it involves accomplishing the exact same objective over and over and over again. Sure, playing the missions as each individual character can make the experience slightly more different but once you beat each one of these missions with all four members of The Suicide Squad, you have basically seen everything that the missions in these games provide.
I wish I could say more but that’s just about how the mission structure is laid out throughout the entirety of the game. It’s the same rinse and repeat formula that makes each objective clear as daylight without much new added to it except you are playing as DC bad guys now instead of super heroes. It’s certainly functional and works the way it was programmed but there’s very little variety here and that makes it feel like the same loot box, third-person shooter but with a different coat of paint.
The only other exception for the variety of missions are the sections with The Riddler. Yes, The Riddler has returned in the Arkhamverse and is now in Metropolis instead of Gotham for some odd reason that is never explained. As with the prior Batman: Arkham games, there are side quests and missions where you can go out of your way to collect Riddler trophies that are scattered throughout the open world, solve puzzles that have been laid out in the map, and designed obstacle courses that you are given a star rating on depending on how fast you are able to complete each course.
Even taking out the fact that The Riddler’s return here makes ZERO sense in terms of story, I really don’t see the point of these side missions existing. There’s nothing creative or inventive about any of the courses and you never feel the strong desire to take time out of the main story to collect these trophies and solve the puzzles. At least in the prior Arkham games, doing all of The Riddler’s work felt rewarding by the end of it and made beating him all the more satisfying. Unless you are an achievement/trophy whore, you will not feel any obligation to want to play these side missions. I never even bother looking up to see what happens when you get everything or if there is a cutscene with him because I was so uninterest in his presence here.
Just like the story itself, it only feels like The Riddler’s missions are here because they were a staple of the previous Batman: Arkham games and Rocksteady hoped it would help with sales by banking on that Arkham nostalgia. Also, apparently, The Riddler also took time out of its day in the actual ELSEWORLD to laid out trophies to find and puzzles for you to solve. Can this guy just go away please?!?! I NEVER want to see his face ever again!
And of course, there’s the main selling point of the game, the boss fights with the evil corporate versions of the Justice League and eventually Brainiac himself. Throughout the game, you will eventually find yourself encountering with one member of the Justice League, aside from Wonder Woman, and you will have to face off against them. What should be the best part of the game is unfortunately no different than the missions you are already playing.
Sure, some of the earlier boss fights in the game are somewhat different and even fun to play. However, after the first two, it’s like the developers either ran out of money or simply stopped caring because it soon revolves to the same rinse and repeat formula. Even the final boss with Brainiac, is largely just the EXACT SAME BOSS as the very first one in the game. I’m not even joking! He even transforms in that EXACT SAME CHARACTER! How lazy can the developers possibly be!
All these fights come up to is shooting the enemy with one gun, shooting the enemy with another gun, and tossing a few grenades to increase the damage. All you have to do is perform these move sets multiple different times without too many hits and you’ll eventually get them. It’s odd how the story implies that there are only certain ways to beat the Justice League but when you can confront them, it mostly involves just doing the exact same move set you were doing when fighting previous enemies. If this is not the most washed up Justice League that’s ever existed, then I don’t know what is.
When describing the gameplay overall, it’s functional and competent but there’s no variety here whatsoever. There’s nothing here that’s aggressively glitchy, impossible to control, or inherently broken. Aside from having to get used to the different ways certain characters control along with the occasional times I would have to restart the game because my internet disconnected for a split second (Again, WHY is this live-service?!?!), there was nothing here I found inherently difficult to play or get used to. As a matter of fact, once you start to get the hang of it, there is some MILD enjoyment to be had here.
The real main issue here is it’s overall lack of innovation. It’s very clear that someone at Rocksteady and Warner Bros Games had a simple desire of wanting to match with the current trends of games that has grown accustom in the mid 2010s to now mid 2020s. The way the missions, open worlds, and amount of content both at launch and post-launch was clearly inspired by games hot at the moment such as Overwatch and Fortnite. However, where as those games were able to thrive off on unique character designs, creative mission and objective structures, and live-service elements that actually ADDED to the game rather than hinder it, Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League plays off more like if you just took these characters and plunged them into one of these worlds but remove any of the fresh and uniqueness of those games.
Once you really get the hang of the formula of the game, there’s not much here that hasn’t been done in literally every other live-action service game. Once you played all four of these different kinds of mission I mention earlier, you have basically seen everything that the game itself has to provide.
On one hand, that might be a welcome thing to certain folks. After all, in an age where Generation Z tends to have a much shorter attention span than before (and I say this as someone that is in fact part of that Generation), this kind of game is always welcome. It’s basically the perfect game to play while listening to a podcast and watch YouTube too. This was clearly aimed to cater to a certain ground that enjoys those “turn your brain off” games that involves simple button mashing.
If you are part of that group (and again no judgement here), you might enjoy this game. However, for those that were expecting even the tiniest bit of innovation on part with Rocksteady’s previous work and to not fall into the trappings that took down previous live-service superhero games such as Marvel’s Avengers and Gotham Knights, you will likely find yourself disappointed.
Of course, there is also the mention of the confirmed post-launch content (which I go into more in the Upcoming DLC section) that the game itself will provide in the form of seasons throughout the year. There has been confirmation of what Season 1 will include along with teases of what Seasons 2 through 4 will have. There’s even been leaked audio recording of certain characters that could make a surprise return or appearance.
For a while, this was the most controversial aspect of the game. Yet again, here we have a game with required online services with developers that have a hard-on for season passes and loot boxes. Much like Marvel’s Avengers, it feels as if the main full game had only scratch the surface of the main gameplay because it’s saving the extra content for the future. However, if there is one thing that Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League has over Marvel’s Avengers, it’s that that content has been confirmed to be free and you can unlock certain loot boxes and items WITHOUT having to pay more money out of your wallet.
While there are definitely loot boxes and special items that should have been unlocked at the start of the game, these are all still free and things that can be unlocked the further you play along in the game. It might take a little extra work but it’s not more work you are forced to spend a few extra dollars on, unlike say Star Wars: Battlefront II. And as I just said, the seasonal content that will be included with the game’s frequent updates is said to be completely free. No need to charge extra for the game, even if you have to wait a little longer than you should. Considering this game from the same studio that was charging a full season pass for the DLC for Batman: Arkham Knight, the fact they are allowing this all for free is quite surprising and even refreshing. Too bad we have to wait until then to see if ANY of those factors come with the seasonal content!
While certainly not as lackluster as the main story itself, the gameplay of Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League leaves PLENTY to be desired. It’s playable, functional, has and/or will have free extra content, and once you get the hang of way each character’s control and their playset, it can be enjoyable at times. The problem is that we have seen this done with MULTIPLE other games and done MUCH better in other live-service games. There’s no variety in the missions, no progression system that makes you eager to level up your characters to the highest degree, and the boss fights with the Justice League could not be more underwhelming.
It’s an absolute shame that the game itself doesn’t even bother to hide the fact that it’s basically chasing trends and Rocksteady isn’t trying to be as inventive as it once was. Whether this is their doing or Warner Bro Games’ doing is beyond me but it still stinks regardless. If the main objective of Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League was to prove that live-service superhero games can in fact work, it failed spectacularly.
Graphics:
Normally, I would say the graphics for Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League are about as good as it can be for a next-gen 2024 game. After all, the environments look good, the models for the characters fit their designs incredibly well, the cutscenes are delivered at top notch, high quality, and the fact I’m able to see Metropolis exist in the Arkhamverse makes it itself a treat for the eyes. However, following Batman: Arkham Knight, which set a high standard for quality in terms of graphics that still hold up SPECTACUARLY nine years later, I can help but see it as quite a downgrade. Expectations on that front was always gonna be near impossible to match but it really doesn’t seem like anyone at Rocksteady even attempted to top or at least match it, which is the most unfortunate.
I understand that perhaps Rocksteady was wanting to go with more of a cartoon or comic book-like style considering this was meant to be a more gloriously excessive game that didn’t take itself as seriously as the other Batman: Arkham games but I kinda expected the next best thing to come in terms of the advanced technology they have worked on since 2015 and it doesn’t really show here. The game itself looks, sounds, and moves just fine (at least when your internet doesn’t disappear for a split second or later), but for those expecting the next best looking thing after Arkham Knight will likely be disappointed.
Sound:
The score for this game was done by composers Nick Arundel and Rupert Cross. Arundel returns here after doing prior gaming scores with Rocksteady with Arkham Asylum, City, and Knight. Cross, on the other hand, had done prior works in other entertainment medium such as theater (Hamlet, Frozen, Macbeth), television (101 Dalmatian Street, Everything Now), and film (Thor, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Brave,Cinderella (2015), and Beauty of the Beast (2017)). Kill The Justice League marks only the second score for a video game he’s ever done, with his first being 2013’s Puppeteer. Despite having proven talent to do the score, I couldn’t help but feel the score was lacking.
While it does it’s job as delivering a more rock-and-funk feel to the whole game, I can’t recall very many tracks that stuck with me or made me want to go out of my way on my own time to listen to them on YouTube. The main track that stood out for me was Batman’s theme when he first appeared in the Suicide Squad’s first encounter, even if it felt like an unuse track in one of the Christopher Nolan’s Batman movie. There are also a couple of decent tracks with the Justice League themselves but aside from that, the score is serviceable at best and forgettable at the worst.
I knew this would have a different style of music compared to the prior Batman: Arkham games but it’s baffling how not one track stuck with me the way the best tracks of those games were able to stick with me and even the not-so-great tracks did.
The voice work in this game is very strong. Nearly every actor and actress notable here are able to fit their role perfectly and have their voices completely match the designs of the characters and the dialogue given to them. With at least one notable exception (which I will get into), almost every voice actor suits their role very well. The biggest standouts come from the Justice League themselves, so much so that it makes you wish you were playing a full game with them.
Nolan North is able to be as perfect as Superman as he is as Nathan Drake, Deadpool, and the Penguin (which he also returns as). He perfectly captures that sense of hope and optimism that the Superman character always stands for and even works when presented as evil superman. Scott Porter is able to get the game’s best laughs as The Flash, Dan White fits well as the John Stewart version of Green Lantern, and Zehra Fazal brings such raw charisma as Wonder Woman. And of course, even though having an evil Batman presence could not have come at a worse time, Kevin Conroy gave it his all as this more twisted version of Batman, clearly having an absolute blast in the role the whole way through. The Suicide Squad team along with the rest of the cast don’t measure as high as the Justice League members but they all do fine work (Even though I wish folks would bother to redesign video game characters played by Debra Wilson), with one notable exception.
That exception is no other than Tara Strong as Harley Quinn. I’m just gonna come out and say it….I can’t stand her as Harley Quinn. I’ve tried given her the benefit of the doubt many times in the past when voicing this character but I can no longer do that. Her HQ’s voice is just way too raspy, ridiculously high pitched, and sounds more like she’s trying to impersonate a cartoon character rather than just sounding like…..a person. And no, the fact that Mrs. Strong has revealed herself to be not so bright doesn’t factor into my opinion on her as the Joker’s pudding, she is simply not a good Harley Quinn whatsoever. Arleen Sorkin (May that angel RIP!), Margot Robbie, and Kaley Cuoco are the real trio of the Harley Quinn Hall of Fame!
Upcoming DLC:
As previously mentioned, Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League will be provided with plenty of additional content that will expand the overall gameplay of the regular game. This will come in the form of seasonal passes that will be updated as the year goes on. All of these will be divided into four separate seasons that will unlockable new playable characters, new playable environments, new boss fights, new weaponry, new missions and activities, and even *shivers* new Riddler content because….why not.
Season 1 in particular has been confirmed to have a Joker from another elseworld as a playable character, new boss fights with the likes of Green Lantern and Superman, new playable environments, new dc villain themed weapons, new activities/strongholds, new Riddler content, and even two episodes with fan-favorite villains such as Two-Face and Scarecrow. Seasons 2 to 4 have not had much detail of it’s content just yet aside from most of the kind of content already mentioned but I wouldn’t be surprised to see us back in the Arkham Gotham that we all know and love.
Like with Marvel’s Avengers and even EA’s Star Wars: Battlefront 2, I’m sure this expansion of content might be good enough to improve the quality of the game for a good number of folks. Especially since, in this case, this is all said to be completely free content with no need to buy multiple passes or loot boxes.
On one hand, credit for Rocksteady to be able to avoid that trapping of trying to needlessly squeeze more money out of consumers, even if they couldn’t avoid the other ones. But considering the way that these along with other leaks gives confirmation that certain events from the game might be undone or rewritten entirely, it might just make the overall point of this game feel pointless. Even if those that hated the game will find themselves won over after certain characters are confirmed to be not dead after all, even they will wonder why this was made as DLC or seasonal content and not for say….it’s own actual game.
I don’t know if I will make a piece in the future once all this content is made available but considering it’s suppose to be free, I will certainly tried them out once they are released. Even if Rocksteady was basically forced by Warner Bros Games to make a game that rely heavily on live services and online action to chase the trends of Overwatch and Fortnite, this might’ve been the best results of this we could possibly get given the dire circumstances that surrounded it all.
Conclusion:
Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League feels like a game that was basically doomed from the start. Not just because this was a game nearly a decade in the making and following Rocksteady’s previous track record with their successful Batman: Arkham games but it was basically by design made to chase the worst kind of trends in modern gaming imaginable. It does some of those trends better than most but like most, it’s own restrictions holds it back from its true potential.
It may get the job done by offering a typical action and shoot-them-up game for those that crave for it but it really doesn’t bother to be anything much else than that and basically hopes the upcoming seasonal content will be enough to save the day. And considering the vital reaction this game has gotten online, it will take a LOT of convincing for folks to get this game another chance once the expansion of content have arrived.
If Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League is the DC equivalent of Marvel’s Avengers, then we can only hope that Monolith’s Wonder Woman will be the DC equivalent of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy, a superhero licensed game that ends up being a pleasant surprise following a previous underwhelming superhero licensed game.
That being said, I sure can’t wait until Marvel responds to this game by making the game, Thunderbolts: Kill The Avengers game. That will SURELY be a banger!
This week, it has been reported that Microsoft is considering bringing most of their exclusive IPs and upcoming games to PlayStation. These games include Starfield, Hi-Fi Rush, Sea of Thieves, the Gears of War franchise, and Indiana Jones & The Great Circle. This was all reported by Giant Bomb’s Jeff Grubb, an insider within the gaming industry. While this is all not 100% guaranteed, it is certainly being considered by Microsoft.
Games that Microsoft is considering bringing to PlayStation.
• Starfield • Hi-Fi Rush • Sea of Thieves • Gears of War franchise • Indiana Jones & The Great Circle
To see this many prior exclusive games and franchises from Microsoft consoles such as Xbox Series X and PC potentially going to their main competition of Sony and their PlayStation 5 is quite mind boggling to here. While it’s far from the first time that a previously exclusive game off Microsoft consoles would make it’s way to Sony consoles (Just look at, Rise of the Tomb Raider!), to have a big portion of Microsoft biggest IPs and franchises working it’s way to their main competitor is certainly a sign that things could be changing drastically for Microsoft and for gaming. So much so, that it’s starting to make folks wonder whether Microsoft’s days in console wars are being numbered and shall soon fall into the footsteps with the likes of Sega, abandoning console making and going full-third party with their games.
In case one doesn’t know, Sega at one point in time did in fact develop consoles of their own. This included the likes of the Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Sega CD, Sega Dreamcast, and many others. However, in the 2000s, due to not selling enough consoles and facing potential bankruptcy, Sega had no choice but to stop developing consoles and sell software onto the consoles of their previous rivals. With the Dreamcast failing to compete with the original PlayStation, Xbox, and the GameCube, the days of Sega consoles were no more and would eventually see the likes of Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends on every other console known to man for the foreseeable future. While this is likely won’t be as sudden as the way Sega dropped out of the console war, one has to wonder whether Microsoft is destined for a similar fate. The main difference being that this has been in the making for quite a while, a making that is the textbook example of death by a thousand paper cuts.
I plan to make a separate piece about this in the future but Microsoft has had a hard time keeping up with Sony and even Nintendo for quite some time now. This largely goes back to their reveal of their eighth generation console, the Xbox One, back in May 2013. The Xbox One was promised to be more than just an evolution in gaming but evolution of entertainment medium in general. Microsoft marketed their console as an “all-in-one entertainment system”, which was the reason it was called Xbox One. Unfortunately for Microsoft, the concept of the console itself involved a lot of controversy.
From the overreliance of television features to the required online connections to the lack of backwards capabilities to the potential erasure of physical media to barely any focus on their upcoming exclusives/IPs, it was about the worst possible reveal for a new console imaginable. Things got even worse when E3 came around and Sony promised the PlayStation 4 would be the exact opposite of everything that Microsoft was trying to force onto gamers. It would put the major focus on gaming, online services weren’t required, backwards capabilities would still be a thing, physical media still had a major presence, and there would be plenty of exclusives/IPs made strictly for that system.As if all of that weren’t bad enough, a little salt in the wound was added when previous Microsoft CEO Don Mattrick responded to the criticisms of required internet by telling those who didn’t have internet to just get an Xbox 360.
Despite having all the momentum in the world heading into the eight generation with coming high off of the Xbox 360, Microsoft fumbled the ball big time when it came to trying to sell the Xbox One. Sony was basically handed the eighth generation console war on a silver platter and made for the best use of it. They were able to steamroll the Xbox One and made way for the PlayStation 4 being one of the most successful gaming systems of all time. Microsoft found themselves passed by Sony during the mid to late 2010s and eventually Nintendo once the Switch became a thing. The mistakes that Microsoft made for the Xbox One before and after it’s release was simply baffling. So much so that one could argue that they are still paying for it to this day.
Even if the way Microsoft handled the build up to their next console, Xbox Series S/X, wasn’t nearly as bad as the way that they handled the Xbox One, some of their biggest fatal flaws from that console would eventually carry over. From still too much focus on other entertainment assets such as televisions and music to not enough intriguing exclusives or IPs to doing jack s*it with the exclusives and IPs from companies that they actually bought to it’s confusing as hell console titles, unable to tell the difference between which is which, the Xbox Series S/X was not the answer they were looking for, following their humiliating defeat in the eight generation. To this day, I still am confused on what the Xbox Series is even to suppose to be. And when I’m confused about something that should be so simple, then that must mean the majority of the human population would feel the same way.
Because of all of the mistakes I’ve mentioned and more, one can’t wonder if what’s happening with Microsoft right now could be something that has been nearly a decade in the making. The aftermath of a disastrous console reveal, the constant focus on everything except the actual games themselves, the lack of self awareness with the consumers they are suppose to cater to. It’s now all beginning to crashing down hard on Microsoft. Over ten plus years of bad company decisions and focusing on the wrong things had led to this moment. The moment where Microsoft waves the white flag to Sony and Nintendo and will now find themselves joining alongside SEGA and others where they will only deliver software to consumers and no longer hardware.
Regardless of what the future holds for Microsoft and the Xbox, things are not looking too bright right now for them. According to Microsoft CEO Phil Spencer, the company will share details about what their future awaits them sometime next week. It’s only then will we know exactly where Microsoft head is truly at and if it’s heading in the direction we all think it’s going. And if it is, then I would be lying if I said I didn’t see it coming. And Microsoft has no else to blame but themselves for letting it happen.
Another link with more detail from Jeff Grubb himself:
Argylle is quite a strange movie to talk about. Not only because of how shockingly dishonest the market campaign has been by putting the spotlight on the wrongs actors and not the ones that are actually leading the picture. It’s more that I’m not entirely sure how to describe this movie without sounding like a complete lunatic. If I were to tell any sane individual what actually happens in this movie, they would probably tell me I was out of my mind and go into this movie without believing such nonsense.
And make no sense, Argylle is complete nonsense. It’s too long, juggling so many different ideas that it doesn’t know what to do with, and contains so many twists and turns that it will likely make your head spin. But, it also has ridiculously stylish action scenes, two fun leads with great chemistry with one another, a talented cast, whether playing big or small roles, having a ball, and has such an unapologetic “I don’t give a f, I’m playing by my own rules!” tone throughout that it’s nearly impossible to be bored by it. So, yeah! It may not be technically good but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy myself. At the end of the day, that’s what matter the most, right?!
Premise: Reclusive author Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) writes best-selling espionage novels about a secret agent named Argylle (Henry Cavill) who’s on a mission to unravel a global spy syndicate. However, when the plots of her books start to mirror the covert actions of a real-life spy organization, the line between fiction and reality begin to blur. Elly must team up with Aidan (Sam Rockwell) to stop a devious organization known as the Division, led by Ritter (Bryan Cranston), before they corrupt her whole life and career as an author.
So, yeah. That should tell you right there that this movie may not be what the marketing has been selling you as. Instead of playing like a Henry Cavill and John Cena buddy cop vehicle along with Dua Lipa being along for the ride, it’s more like a twisty, espionage-like version of The Lost City, where the main characters learns what she thought was writing for fiction was really writing for truth. As the catchphrase in the film goes, “the greater the spy, the greater the lie”.
Films like this is always commendable. Not just because it’s technically an “original” film but also because it allows for imaginative creative forces like Matthew Vaughn getting to show off his best moves for the whole road to see. However, whereas the original Kingsman: The Secret Service (Still Vaughn’s best film to date!) was able to thrive with that creative, over-the-top energy being the driving force, Argyille gets rather muddled by it.
Thankfully, while not being the true front-and-center like the poster would have you believe, Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell make for a great likable main duo that helps keep the picture steady. They have nice chemistry with one another, with plenty of nice back-and-forth banter with one another that brings back the good old days where men and women could be equal action stars together. Howard, in particular, is surprisingly convincing as an action star and gets plenty of set pieces herself to kick some butt that makes her character’s rather bizarre arc and transformation even remotely believable. I would say the same for good old Sam Rockwell but at this point, I think everyone should know by now that there is not one role which this man can NOT do.
The action in general is where Vaughn’s is able to be at his most creative and comes the closest of capturing that same lightning in a bottle that he did with the original Kingsman. It’s the type of action that might sound stupid when saying it out loud but watching in motion, I couldn’t help but be captivated whenever they were happening. The main highlight in particular is the one major scene where Bryce Dallas Howard basically proves she is born to be an action star of not just behind the camera but in front of it as well. There are times to where it does get distracted by some pretty darn noticeable CGI (although nothing as outrageous as say….CGI Henry Cavill) but the sequences themselves are when the film gets it’s most energy.
Where the film falters is unfortunately from the script department. Despite clearly wanting to be homage to traditional spy thrillers with it’s out of nowhere reveals and throwing in plenty of twists and surprises, it makes the whole lore and universe building much more convoluted than it needs to be. There is a lot that is thrown at you with each 180 that the film decides to flip that even thinking about for a single minute will make you realize how little this holds up under scrutiny. Had Argylle been a brief two hours at max, it might have been able to get away with that. However, with a runtime of nearly two hours and twenty minutes and so much time dedicated to it’s overly complicated plot, it simply doesn’t work.
It’s also rather bizarre how this film isn’t a strict-R rating. With most of Vaughn’s prior filmography consisting of mature material like Kick-Ass and of course, Kingsman, what excuse was there to not have this be R-rated. Was it because of the 200 million dollar budget and Apple feeling having an R rating would hurt those sales? Beats me but despite the film doing the best it can, Argylle comes across as more tame because of it’s PG-13 rating and never can let Vaughn’s unhinged vision come to life because of it.
Argylle is definitely a film that is easy to dislike. From the misleading marketing to it’s rather bizarre plot to it’s tame rating, there are plenty of reasons to not be a fan of it. However, I would be denying I didn’t enjoy myself with what I got despite of these glaring issues. The action is still fun and creative, the cast (despite not being in the roles you may like) are entertaining, and there’s so much thrown at you throughout it’s 139 minute long runtime that it’s impossible to be bored by it. And considering the lack of original IPs in this day and age, I always love to give props to films that try to offer something different even if it falters a bit.
At best, Argylle plays like a water-down Kingsman, which occasional reminiscence of Matthew Vaughn’s better days but in this case, I’ll take what I can get. Perhaps check this movie out on a discount Tuesday or something and see if it’s worth your time. Anything to save the theater experience!
Other thoughts:
The Cat is the real MVP of the picture!
Henry Cavill’s hair is whatever the exact opposite of MVP is!
If Taylor Swift really wrote the story here, then that cat must TOTALLY have been her idea!
FYI, about that post credit scene! No, Matthew Vaughn! Just no!
If you were to ask what particular television show had a huge impact on my specific generation, formally known as Generation Z, the answer you will likely get more times than not is Spongebob Squarepants. I would be hard pressed to think of a show that came out in the 2000s that hadn’t been remembered, talked about, beloved, hated, dissected, and especially MEMED to death! While there are plenty of shows now and then that have those kind of impacts, there’s something about Spongebob Squarepants that hits a bit differently.
On the surface, it seems like a very basic premise. What if you followed someone throughout their everyday life where they work, play around, and hang out with their friends and family? The main core difference here is that instead of it being in the human world or another planet, it takes place strictly underwater. That right there leaves plenty of room for a show to have plenty of creative world building, neat visuals, and a tons of creative and funny jokes! And for the universal praise that this show has gotten since it started back in 1999 is anything to go by, I would say that Spongebob Squarepants was able to utilize that familiar but different premise to it’s absolute fullest potential.
However, there is one specific era that is referred to as the absolute golden era for Spongebob Squarepants. That era is of course the first three seasons of the show, which basically acted as the original run for this series. This was when the creator of the show Stephen Hillenberg (May he rest in peace!) had complete control along with creative director, Derek Drymon, that acted as the main showrunner of this show and would later go on to be a part of the writing team of the first two films along with being the head director of the upcoming fourth film, Search for Squarepants. Needless to say, these two teaming up along with a handful of credited writers were able to make something truly special for this show’s original run.
Everyone has their own different opinions of Spongebob Squarepants post-original era but no doubt, you will never hear anyone say a bad word about this show in regards to it’s first three seasons. Even to this day, you plenty of folks that remember, quote, and meme episodes of these three seasons to death, which goes to show the everlasting impact this show has gotten over the past 25 years. Because of all of that and more, what better way to kick off this marathon than discussing what is considered by many to be the “golden era” of Spongebob Squarepants, the first three seasons.
Season 1
Now, I will admit, I do find Season 1 to be the weakest of these first three seasons. It’s the one which the animation has shown it’s age, the pacing feels the slowest, it’s much more “quiet” in terms of it’s sound, and this is also when the voice actors were going through their “growing pains” to get comfortable in their roles that they would end up be voicing for over the next two decades. That being said, this still does make for about as good of a first season for the show as you could imagine.
This is when we get introduced to the characters we would all come to love. You have the main character of Spongebob Squarepants, his best friend Patrick Star, his next door neighbor Squidward Tenacles, his other friend he meets Sandy Cheeks, his boss Mr. Krabs, his pet snail Gary, his boat teacher Mrs. Puffs, his boss’s arch nemesis Plankton along with plenty of others. Regardless of how big or small of a role they would end up playing in any individual episodes, there’s is always a certain trait or even a line that one of them says that makes them stand out on their own and become a fan favorite of some sort.
You have Spongebob always aims to be positive and upbeat, Patrick is lovably dumb, Squidward is depressed and moopy in a way that’s funny but also immensely relatable, Sandy is super smart and an absolute butt kicker, Mr. Krabs is always money hungry, Mrs. Puffs is a stress-filled teacher, Plankton is the arch rival that always finds himself on the losing end. Whether it’s their specific personality or they are so funny or they are just feel relatable, the characters of Spongebob are full of charm and memorability that it’s part to pick which one is your absolute favorite because they all have their great traits to them. Even Patchy the Pirate, a pirate who happens to be Spongebob’s #1 fan and Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob himself, and his pet parrot Potty, get plenty of laughs in the earlier season in their live-action bits, despite these almost ALWAYS falling flat with animated shows.
When it comes to the world building, they do enough to where it feels much more different than what it would feel like in the real world with humans or even on another planet with aliens. While it certainly doesn’t make 100% logical sense and certainly doesn’t go too deep into the “rules” of how this world operates, this is always a fun and interesting universe to spend time in and is always interesting to put your shoes with these characters and see how you yourself would act if you got to live at the bottom of the ocean.
The plots of the episodes themselves tend to be light hearted and very simple while relying mostly on it’s humor and visuals to tell it but that’s okay since the show is based around those exact elements and is able to deliver on those fronts when it counts the most. Even every now and then, there will comes an episode that has a strong moral to it that anyone of any age can get something out of it. Take the end of the episode, Ripped Pants, where Spongebob performs a song which reflects the general message of that episode. That message being learn to be yourself in front of ones you care about and not be someone you are not. Otherwise, you’ll end up like the sponge who ripped his pants in this episode. It’s nice, direct messages like that which is always springled throughout this series that helps make these stories stand out well, even if it’s not the most complex writing ever.
That of course, should also talk about the sound and audio of the series which helps gives the show it’s own unique personality. While it’s not quite as strong here as it is with the other two seasons as it does feel more one-note in comparison, it’s the kind of music that’s always catchy, relaxing, lives rent free in your mind, and always feels appropriate for the Spongebob show and character. It’s the kind of music that whenever you listen to a piece from it, you almost ALWAYS know it’s from Spongebob Squarepants.
Even if I do think this is the weakest of the first three seasons since it at times gives off the impression of everybody involved in the cast and crew getting their foot in the door, it still contains that sort of heart and charm that makes the best episodes of this show stand out completely well on their own. There’s plenty of well-loved episodes here such as Bubblestand, Ripped Pants, Pizza Delivery, Opposite Day, Fools in April, and the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy episodes. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be either Ripped Pants and Pizza Delivery. Ripped Pants has the most wholesome message of any episode in this season and Pizza Delivery is Spongebob at his absolute wackiest and funniest. Regardless of this being my least favorite of the first three, it was more than good enough for Nickelodeon to greenlight a second season.
Season 2
Now, here’s a season that’s better than the first one in just about any way and may possible even be the very best season in the entire show. This was when you can tell that everyone on board this show were sitting fully comfortable in their square pants and came into work everyday just knowing what roles they are set to play. The animation is much better, the characters are more organic, fleshed out, and move more fluidly, the humor is even more hilarious, the pacing is more breakneck, and the overall world that is the Bikini Bottom feels more like it’s own character than ever before.
This is where most of the absolute fan favorite episodes came to be! You got classics such as Graveyard Shift, Squidville, Christmas Who?, Shanghaied, The Fry Cook Games, and Sailor Mouth. And of course, who can’t forget what is considered by many to be the very best episode on the show, Band Geeks! Like, if you tell me you never laughed at any of the jokes or quoted any one of the lines in this episode, you are a LIAR! And you are ESPECIALLY a liar that you don’t remember this episode for the iconic song, Sweet Victory, that plays at the very end of the episode! That episode along with plenty others in Season 2 is a perfect representation of this show at it’s absolute best.
Just like the first season, you also got a handful of episodes that have a solid moral at it’s core, teaching kids everyday lessons that they ought to learn. The biggest example being Procrastination, the episode where Spongebob is trying to do EVERYTHING but complete his essay. It’s a great examination on the dangers of procrastination, how simple distractions and laziness can prevent you from getting your homework done if you allow it to. Sure, it ends with the assignment being pointless because Mrs. Puffs cancelled it but that still doesn’t change the fact that you need to get work done when you can and never try to push it aside whenever you can. Of course, not all episodes are like that with plenty of humor and lighthearted writing to carry it but it’s another indication that this is not a simply “mindless” show that nowadays relies on memes to carry it. The majority of these episodes are classics for a reason and there’s a reason why they still resonate in the mind of so many who grew up with Spongebob.
Regardless of what Spongebob character is your favorite and what kind of Spongebob material is your favorite, Season 2 should MORE than satisfy you on every level. Each main Spongebob characters get their own episodes and moments to shine, the art design and animation is much improved and possibly better than ever, the humor is at it’s funniest, and it’s able to move at it’s own steady pace without every wearing out it’s welcome. Whether you are a kid whose looking for an entertaining cartoon or a parent/guardian/older sibling who is “forced” to watch it with their kids, there is plenty for anyone to enjoy about the second season of Spongebob Squarepants. This is when the training wheels were completely off and everyone on the cast and crew were ready to ride their bikes full throttle. And man, did they prove that whatsoever with Season 2!
Season 3
Season 3 was no doubt able to end the last of the original run of Spongebob Squarepants on a high note. It’s able to keep that consistent and quality level of humor, charm, and morals throughout with it’s characters still being endearing and Bikini Bottom still being a fascinating place to visit. If there is one thing holding it back compared to Season 2 had to do with the amount of interference that Nickelodeon had on the show and the bizarre airings of it.
To start off with the second point, many of the episodes of Season 3 were aired out of order from their original release slate. As a matter of fact, they started airing episodes of this season even before airing all episodes of Season 2. Nickelodeon has always had that weird habit of releasing episodes whenever the heck they want (Just ask Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom!) and that certainly applies here. It’s just stupid and Nickelodeon is stupid for that.
And speaking of stupid things, there was also some bizarre censoring of certain episodes from Season 3 that was done by the network’s part. There was the infamous bit in Mid-Life Crustacean where Spongebob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs are going through a women’s underwear drawer, which so happened to belong to Mr. Krabs’ mother. That episode was removed from rotation in 2018 until it was added back in on Paramount Plus due to a glitch until it was removed again. There was also a bit in Just One Bite where Squidward is trying to get into the Krusty Krab to snatch more Krabby Patties from himself but gets caught in a gas explosion trap twice and blows up both times. That bit was removed due to it feeling too reminiscent of 9/11…..for some reason. I don’t know any sane individual that thought of the World Trade Center blowing up during that scene but it was a thing. It’s nothing that bugged me too much but it certainly were things that fell off-putting now in retrospect.
There’s also the fact that this season doesn’t really have a definite final episode. Granted, that’s because the true original finale of the series was suppose to be with The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (which we will discuss next month) but having no real finale for the televisions series feels rather bizarre. If the movie weren’t a thing, the very last thing we would ever see of the show is Spongebob and Patrick being exposed butt naked in front of everyone at the Krusty Krab. Not to mention, how the last two episode segments made it’s way to VHS and DVD first before television. I know that because I saw those two episodes first on DVD at my cousin’s house before then. Keep in mind, none of these problems I mentioned are deal breakers or ruin my enjoyment of the show but those are things that just stick out for me if I had to nitpick.
Even taking those things out of the way, Season 3 is still very good overall. It too contains some of my absolute favorite episodes from the series such as Nasty Patty, Krab Borg, Chocolate With Nuts, The Camping Episode, and The Krusty Krab Training Video. This is also strangely the season where I happened to see the most memes off the show out of them all for some bizarre reason. I can only tell you how many times I’ve seen the meme from sports fans whenever a team chokes than the one where the health inspector is choking on a fly while Spongebob and Mr. Krabs are laughing their balls off.
While I do think Season 2 is a snatch better, I do think this is definitely the best of the first three seasons in terms of animation, character designs, art style, and especially voice work. I don’t think there was more range in any scene of this show from Tom Kenny when Spongebob is going on his rant to Mr. Krabs about how much Squidward is driving him crazy in Can You Spare a Dime? If that’s not proof about how talented that man is at voice acting, then I don’t know what is. Everything that worked about the prior seasons works just as well here, even if the interference from Nick itself and a underwhelming special or two (Ugh! is just…..nothing!) did start to show the cracks on the armor with this once untouchable series.
Even so, had the show ended with Season 3 the way it was originally visioned too by Stephen Hillenburg himself, it would have been a good note to go out on. Of course, due to their being a Spongebob movie on the rise along with Nick not ready to put away the Spongebob toys yet due to the character’s insane popularity, the show did continue with Season 4 and onwards. Despite all of that, Season 3 was basically the end of the original run of the show and it certainly ended that run with good graces.
In Conclusion
It’s hard to say things about the first three seasons of Spongebob Squarepants that hasn’t been said already by everyone else on the planet. It’s the perfect example of capturing lightning in a bottle. It does everything that it’s suppose to do right. The characters are lovable and memorable, the world building is unique and inventive, the jokes comes thick and fast with very little that miss, the music is classic and pleasant on the ears, and there are enough morals to enough episodes that helps make it just more than mindless children entertainment.
When going back to these seasons many years later, it’s easy to understand why this series has had the lasting appeal that is has had. When it comes to animation that is great for kids and families that works as a simple comfort show or one to watch for the wacky visuals and humor, there’s not very many out there that can top Spongebob Squarepants. Even if not every single episode is a perfect 10/10 and the “special” episodes don’t necessarily feel “special” but more like two 11-minute long episodes crammed into one 22-minute long episode, there’s not a single moment throughout these first three seasons that feels wrong for the universe this show takes place in and the tone that it’s going for with each episode.
Although the first three seasons are considered the original run of the show, there is at least one other thing that came out shortly after the third season ended. One thing that basically acted as an epilogue for this run of Spongebob Squarepants and even at one point was considering the true ending of the show. That, of course, is The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. The next thing we will be talking about next month for this yearly-long Spongebob marathon.
Adam's Blog 