Month: January 2024

Spongebob Squarepants (Seasons 1-3) Retrospective: The Golden Era

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If you were to ask what particular television show had a huge impact on my specific generation, formally known as Generation Z, the answer you will likely get more times than not is Spongebob Squarepants. I would be hard pressed to think of a show that came out in the 2000s that hadn’t been remembered, talked about, beloved, hated, dissected, and especially MEMED to death! While there are plenty of shows now and then that have those kind of impacts, there’s something about Spongebob Squarepants that hits a bit differently.

On the surface, it seems like a very basic premise. What if you followed someone throughout their everyday life where they work, play around, and hang out with their friends and family? The main core difference here is that instead of it being in the human world or another planet, it takes place strictly underwater. That right there leaves plenty of room for a show to have plenty of creative world building, neat visuals, and a tons of creative and funny jokes! And for the universal praise that this show has gotten since it started back in 1999 is anything to go by, I would say that Spongebob Squarepants was able to utilize that familiar but different premise to it’s absolute fullest potential.

However, there is one specific era that is referred to as the absolute golden era for Spongebob Squarepants. That era is of course the first three seasons of the show, which basically acted as the original run for this series. This was when the creator of the show Stephen Hillenberg (May he rest in peace!) had complete control along with creative director, Derek Drymon, that acted as the main showrunner of this show and would later go on to be a part of the writing team of the first two films along with being the head director of the upcoming fourth film, Search for Squarepants. Needless to say, these two teaming up along with a handful of credited writers were able to make something truly special for this show’s original run.

Everyone has their own different opinions of Spongebob Squarepants post-original era but no doubt, you will never hear anyone say a bad word about this show in regards to it’s first three seasons. Even to this day, you plenty of folks that remember, quote, and meme episodes of these three seasons to death, which goes to show the everlasting impact this show has gotten over the past 25 years. Because of all of that and more, what better way to kick off this marathon than discussing what is considered by many to be the “golden era” of Spongebob Squarepants, the first three seasons.

Season 1

Now, I will admit, I do find Season 1 to be the weakest of these first three seasons. It’s the one which the animation has shown it’s age, the pacing feels the slowest, it’s much more “quiet” in terms of it’s sound, and this is also when the voice actors were going through their “growing pains” to get comfortable in their roles that they would end up be voicing for over the next two decades. That being said, this still does make for about as good of a first season for the show as you could imagine.

This is when we get introduced to the characters we would all come to love. You have the main character of Spongebob Squarepants, his best friend Patrick Star, his next door neighbor Squidward Tenacles, his other friend he meets Sandy Cheeks, his boss Mr. Krabs, his pet snail Gary, his boat teacher Mrs. Puffs, his boss’s arch nemesis Plankton along with plenty of others. Regardless of how big or small of a role they would end up playing in any individual episodes, there’s is always a certain trait or even a line that one of them says that makes them stand out on their own and become a fan favorite of some sort.

You have Spongebob always aims to be positive and upbeat, Patrick is lovably dumb, Squidward is depressed and moopy in a way that’s funny but also immensely relatable, Sandy is super smart and an absolute butt kicker, Mr. Krabs is always money hungry, Mrs. Puffs is a stress-filled teacher, Plankton is the arch rival that always finds himself on the losing end. Whether it’s their specific personality or they are so funny or they are just feel relatable, the characters of Spongebob are full of charm and memorability that it’s part to pick which one is your absolute favorite because they all have their great traits to them. Even Patchy the Pirate, a pirate who happens to be Spongebob’s #1 fan and Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob himself, and his pet parrot Potty, get plenty of laughs in the earlier season in their live-action bits, despite these almost ALWAYS falling flat with animated shows.

When it comes to the world building, they do enough to where it feels much more different than what it would feel like in the real world with humans or even on another planet with aliens. While it certainly doesn’t make 100% logical sense and certainly doesn’t go too deep into the “rules” of how this world operates, this is always a fun and interesting universe to spend time in and is always interesting to put your shoes with these characters and see how you yourself would act if you got to live at the bottom of the ocean.

The plots of the episodes themselves tend to be light hearted and very simple while relying mostly on it’s humor and visuals to tell it but that’s okay since the show is based around those exact elements and is able to deliver on those fronts when it counts the most. Even every now and then, there will comes an episode that has a strong moral to it that anyone of any age can get something out of it. Take the end of the episode, Ripped Pants, where Spongebob performs a song which reflects the general message of that episode. That message being learn to be yourself in front of ones you care about and not be someone you are not. Otherwise, you’ll end up like the sponge who ripped his pants in this episode. It’s nice, direct messages like that which is always springled throughout this series that helps make these stories stand out well, even if it’s not the most complex writing ever.

That of course, should also talk about the sound and audio of the series which helps gives the show it’s own unique personality. While it’s not quite as strong here as it is with the other two seasons as it does feel more one-note in comparison, it’s the kind of music that’s always catchy, relaxing, lives rent free in your mind, and always feels appropriate for the Spongebob show and character. It’s the kind of music that whenever you listen to a piece from it, you almost ALWAYS know it’s from Spongebob Squarepants.

Even if I do think this is the weakest of the first three seasons since it at times gives off the impression of everybody involved in the cast and crew getting their foot in the door, it still contains that sort of heart and charm that makes the best episodes of this show stand out completely well on their own. There’s plenty of well-loved episodes here such as Bubblestand, Ripped Pants, Pizza Delivery, Opposite Day, Fools in April, and the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy episodes. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be either Ripped Pants and Pizza Delivery. Ripped Pants has the most wholesome message of any episode in this season and Pizza Delivery is Spongebob at his absolute wackiest and funniest. Regardless of this being my least favorite of the first three, it was more than good enough for Nickelodeon to greenlight a second season.

Season 2

Now, here’s a season that’s better than the first one in just about any way and may possible even be the very best season in the entire show. This was when you can tell that everyone on board this show were sitting fully comfortable in their square pants and came into work everyday just knowing what roles they are set to play. The animation is much better, the characters are more organic, fleshed out, and move more fluidly, the humor is even more hilarious, the pacing is more breakneck, and the overall world that is the Bikini Bottom feels more like it’s own character than ever before.

This is where most of the absolute fan favorite episodes came to be! You got classics such as Graveyard Shift, Squidville, Christmas Who?, Shanghaied, The Fry Cook Games, and Sailor Mouth. And of course, who can’t forget what is considered by many to be the very best episode on the show, Band Geeks! Like, if you tell me you never laughed at any of the jokes or quoted any one of the lines in this episode, you are a LIAR! And you are ESPECIALLY a liar that you don’t remember this episode for the iconic song, Sweet Victory, that plays at the very end of the episode! That episode along with plenty others in Season 2 is a perfect representation of this show at it’s absolute best.

Just like the first season, you also got a handful of episodes that have a solid moral at it’s core, teaching kids everyday lessons that they ought to learn. The biggest example being Procrastination, the episode where Spongebob is trying to do EVERYTHING but complete his essay. It’s a great examination on the dangers of procrastination, how simple distractions and laziness can prevent you from getting your homework done if you allow it to. Sure, it ends with the assignment being pointless because Mrs. Puffs cancelled it but that still doesn’t change the fact that you need to get work done when you can and never try to push it aside whenever you can. Of course, not all episodes are like that with plenty of humor and lighthearted writing to carry it but it’s another indication that this is not a simply “mindless” show that nowadays relies on memes to carry it. The majority of these episodes are classics for a reason and there’s a reason why they still resonate in the mind of so many who grew up with Spongebob.

Regardless of what Spongebob character is your favorite and what kind of Spongebob material is your favorite, Season 2 should MORE than satisfy you on every level. Each main Spongebob characters get their own episodes and moments to shine, the art design and animation is much improved and possibly better than ever, the humor is at it’s funniest, and it’s able to move at it’s own steady pace without every wearing out it’s welcome. Whether you are a kid whose looking for an entertaining cartoon or a parent/guardian/older sibling who is “forced” to watch it with their kids, there is plenty for anyone to enjoy about the second season of Spongebob Squarepants. This is when the training wheels were completely off and everyone on the cast and crew were ready to ride their bikes full throttle. And man, did they prove that whatsoever with Season 2!

Season 3

Season 3 was no doubt able to end the last of the original run of Spongebob Squarepants on a high note. It’s able to keep that consistent and quality level of humor, charm, and morals throughout with it’s characters still being endearing and Bikini Bottom still being a fascinating place to visit. If there is one thing holding it back compared to Season 2 had to do with the amount of interference that Nickelodeon had on the show and the bizarre airings of it.

To start off with the second point, many of the episodes of Season 3 were aired out of order from their original release slate. As a matter of fact, they started airing episodes of this season even before airing all episodes of Season 2. Nickelodeon has always had that weird habit of releasing episodes whenever the heck they want (Just ask Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom!) and that certainly applies here. It’s just stupid and Nickelodeon is stupid for that.

And speaking of stupid things, there was also some bizarre censoring of certain episodes from Season 3 that was done by the network’s part. There was the infamous bit in Mid-Life Crustacean where Spongebob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs are going through a women’s underwear drawer, which so happened to belong to Mr. Krabs’ mother. That episode was removed from rotation in 2018 until it was added back in on Paramount Plus due to a glitch until it was removed again. There was also a bit in Just One Bite where Squidward is trying to get into the Krusty Krab to snatch more Krabby Patties from himself but gets caught in a gas explosion trap twice and blows up both times. That bit was removed due to it feeling too reminiscent of 9/11…..for some reason. I don’t know any sane individual that thought of the World Trade Center blowing up during that scene but it was a thing. It’s nothing that bugged me too much but it certainly were things that fell off-putting now in retrospect.

There’s also the fact that this season doesn’t really have a definite final episode. Granted, that’s because the true original finale of the series was suppose to be with The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (which we will discuss next month) but having no real finale for the televisions series feels rather bizarre. If the movie weren’t a thing, the very last thing we would ever see of the show is Spongebob and Patrick being exposed butt naked in front of everyone at the Krusty Krab. Not to mention, how the last two episode segments made it’s way to VHS and DVD first before television. I know that because I saw those two episodes first on DVD at my cousin’s house before then. Keep in mind, none of these problems I mentioned are deal breakers or ruin my enjoyment of the show but those are things that just stick out for me if I had to nitpick.

Even taking those things out of the way, Season 3 is still very good overall. It too contains some of my absolute favorite episodes from the series such as Nasty Patty, Krab Borg, Chocolate With Nuts, The Camping Episode, and The Krusty Krab Training Video. This is also strangely the season where I happened to see the most memes off the show out of them all for some bizarre reason. I can only tell you how many times I’ve seen the meme from sports fans whenever a team chokes than the one where the health inspector is choking on a fly while Spongebob and Mr. Krabs are laughing their balls off.

While I do think Season 2 is a snatch better, I do think this is definitely the best of the first three seasons in terms of animation, character designs, art style, and especially voice work. I don’t think there was more range in any scene of this show from Tom Kenny when Spongebob is going on his rant to Mr. Krabs about how much Squidward is driving him crazy in Can You Spare a Dime? If that’s not proof about how talented that man is at voice acting, then I don’t know what is. Everything that worked about the prior seasons works just as well here, even if the interference from Nick itself and a underwhelming special or two (Ugh! is just…..nothing!) did start to show the cracks on the armor with this once untouchable series.

Even so, had the show ended with Season 3 the way it was originally visioned too by Stephen Hillenburg himself, it would have been a good note to go out on. Of course, due to their being a Spongebob movie on the rise along with Nick not ready to put away the Spongebob toys yet due to the character’s insane popularity, the show did continue with Season 4 and onwards. Despite all of that, Season 3 was basically the end of the original run of the show and it certainly ended that run with good graces.

In Conclusion

It’s hard to say things about the first three seasons of Spongebob Squarepants that hasn’t been said already by everyone else on the planet. It’s the perfect example of capturing lightning in a bottle. It does everything that it’s suppose to do right. The characters are lovable and memorable, the world building is unique and inventive, the jokes comes thick and fast with very little that miss, the music is classic and pleasant on the ears, and there are enough morals to enough episodes that helps make it just more than mindless children entertainment.

When going back to these seasons many years later, it’s easy to understand why this series has had the lasting appeal that is has had. When it comes to animation that is great for kids and families that works as a simple comfort show or one to watch for the wacky visuals and humor, there’s not very many out there that can top Spongebob Squarepants. Even if not every single episode is a perfect 10/10 and the “special” episodes don’t necessarily feel “special” but more like two 11-minute long episodes crammed into one 22-minute long episode, there’s not a single moment throughout these first three seasons that feels wrong for the universe this show takes place in and the tone that it’s going for with each episode.

Although the first three seasons are considered the original run of the show, there is at least one other thing that came out shortly after the third season ended. One thing that basically acted as an epilogue for this run of Spongebob Squarepants and even at one point was considering the true ending of the show. That, of course, is The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. The next thing we will be talking about next month for this yearly-long Spongebob marathon.

NFL 2024 Playoff Predictions

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The regular season for NFL football has come to an end and that can only mean that all eyes are set on the playoffs. I’m not gonna lie, this was a ROUGH year for the National Football League in my humble opinion. From constant refball to controversies on and off the field to a good chunk of teams not being particularly good despite their winning records, this made for one long and sloppy year of football. While it certainly made for plenty of amusing memes and trash talking, the product on the field was just way below par. Because of that and more, that makes this year of playoff predictions a bit easier to rank than prior years. I think I got a good indication as to who are truly the teams that have a shot at taking home the super bowl trophy. Could I be dead wrong on all of these? Absolutely! However, I think I’m gonna be more right with my predictions than ever before.

Anyways, time to start what will undoubtedly be my FLAWLESS predictions for the NFL postseason!

American Football Conference Wild Card Rounds

Cleveland Browns (#5 Seed) at Houston Texans (#4 Seed)

Date: Saturday, January 13th, 3:30 PM CST

Pick: Cleveland Browns

Reason: The Browns have the firepower from both offense and defense to shut down the Texans. Cleveland allowed the fewest yards per game and Flacco and Cooper was able to make good work out of Houston earlier this year. Not to mention, Flacco is tied with Tom Brady himself for the most road playoffs win by a QB with seven. If my prediction is anything to go by, he shall beat that record come Saturday. Hats off though to the Texans for completing in an impressive worst-to-first turnaround but they will likely not do any damage in the playoffs this year.

Miami Dolphins (#6 Seed) at Kansas City Chiefs (#3 Seed)

Date: Saturday, January 13th, 7:00 PM CST

Pick: Kansas City Chiefs

Reason: These are two teams that are coming into the playoffs ice cold. However due to more playoff experience and proven winning veterans, the Chiefs should be able to take care of business against the Dolphins. Kansas City has been struggling big time offensively as of late but Miami has lost 10 straight games in a row when the game starts off less than 40 degrees, which is likely going to be cold by Saturday. Thrown in the fact that Miami is dealing with a ton of injuries on defense, Kansas City is the favorite for me to win this game.

Pittsburgh Steelers (#7 Seed) at Buffalo Bills (#2 Seed)

Date: Sunday, January 14th, 12:00 PM CST

Pick: Buffalo Bills

Reason: Once again, the Steelers was able to use their devil magic to secure another winning record and another playoff spot. However, like with prior seasons, this is where that magic will run out. The Bills have been a hot team as of late, winning their last four games and finishing the season strong despite their early struggles and inconsistency. Also, losing T.J. Watt on defense is going to hurt BIG TIME for Pittsburgh. While it likely won’t be as embarrassing of a lose for the Steelers as their humiliation to the Browns three years ago, I don’t see a scenario where Buffalo won’t come away with the victory here.

National Football Conference Wild Card Rounds

Philadelphia Eagles (#5 Seed) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (#4 Seed)

Date: Monday, January 15th, 7:15 PM CST

Pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Reason: This has the chance to be the most one-side game in the entire playoffs. The Eagles have been playing like absolute crap for the past six weeks while the Buccaneers have been playing great for the past six weeks. Everything has gone wrong for Philadelphia from an offense and defense standpoint and things have just clicked better for Tampa Bay all around. Unless the Eagles view the playoffs as an absolute reset for themselves and play like the team that started off 10-1, this should be all Bucs for the divisional rounds.

Los Angeles Rams (#6 Seed) at Detroit Lions (#3 Seed)

Date: Sunday, January 14th, 7:15 PM CST

Pick: Los Angeles Rams

Reason: I think this will result in the biggest upset of the playoffs. While the Lions were able to make it back to the playoffs and win their first divisional title in a while, I can see the Rams shocking everybody and coming the way with the win. The Rams despite a lacking defense, have a very underrated offense and the Lions have struggled quite a bit in their own home stadium. There always comes a shocking upset every year and I believe the Rams trumping the Lions in their own home stadium will be the biggest shock of them all.

Green Bay Packers (#7 Seed) at Dallas Cowboys (#2 Seed)

Date: Sunday, January 14th, 3:30 PM CST

Pick: Dallas Cowboys

Reason: Dallas has been a dominated team this year and has been EXTREMELY dominated at home, with a perfect 8-0 record for the year. While Jordan Love and the Packs have been impressive as of late, they are still a relatively young and inexperience team, likely still a few years away before making any real noise in the postseason. Yes, Cowboys have been a laughing stock in the postseason in recent years but if there is any time to turn that exact narrative around, it’s with this game right here. By the end of the night on Sunday, Jerry Rice will leave the stadium with a big smile on his face.

American Football Conference Divisional Rounds

Cleveland Browns (#5 Seed) at Baltimore Ravens (#1 Seed)

Date: TBD

Pick: Baltimore Ravens

Reason: The Ravens were easily the best team in the American Football League this year, firing on all cylinders in terms of offense and defense. While the #1 seed has proving to be a curse in recent years for just about every major sport, I don’t see that outcome here against the Browns. Cleveland has some impressive pieces, especially from an offense standpoint, but Baltimore will just be too good and dominate for them to handle. While the Brownies will no doubt go down with a fight, they will go down regardless and the Ravens will be taking their first steps to securing their first Super Bowl title in just over a decade.

Kansas City Chiefs (#3 Seed) at Buffalo Bills (#2 Seed)

Date: TBD

Pick: Kansas City Chiefs

Reason: These are two very good teams that perhaps should have better than they were in the regular season. So much so that it’s baffling that one of these two will likely make it to the second-to-last round. However, between the two teams, the Chiefs just speaks to me as the kind of team that can turn the tide around once January rolls around. With the Bills, however, in spite of their recent hot streak, their inconsistency in their offense and defense will be on full display throughout this game and will likely cost them another chance at a Super Bowl run. No offense to Josh Allen but you are no Patrick Mahomes!

National Football Conference Divisional Rounds

Los Angeles Rams (#6 Seed) at San Francisco 49ers (#1 Seed)

Date: TBD

Pick: San Francisco 49ers

Reason: The 49ers were the best team in the National Football league this year and there is no reason to think they won’t show that against the Rams. Despite Los Angeles being a worth opponent against San Francisco in the past, there’s too much vulnerability on that team that can easily be exposed by the 49ers. San Fran is just a team that can be you in many different ways and that will likely be the main outcome here. Kyle Shanahan has been 10-5 in his career against Sean McVay and will no doubt use those favorable odds to his advantage.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (#4 Seed) at Dallas Cowboys (#2 Seed)

Date: TBD

Pick: Dallas Cowboys

Reason: The Bucs will be fortunate enough to take down an ice cold Eagles but a red hot home-friendly Cowboys will be their brick wall that they will hit. If the stars align perfectly for Dallas, they will continue to be undefeated at AT&T stadium, with an impressive 10-0 record combined with the regular season and postseason. Tampa Bay will certainly try but sometimes, trying is no where near good enough, especially when facing off a team you are way out of league with in the Dallas Cowboys.

American Football Conference Round

Kansas City Chiefs (#3 Seed) at Baltimore Ravens (#1 Seed)

Date: Sunday, January 28th, 2:00 PM CST

Pick: Baltimore Ravens

Reason: While a big part of me can see the Chiefs pulling off an unexpected victory, I can’t help but feel like this will be the end of the road for the defending champs. There is too much holes in this roster compared to last year’s winners that the Ravens just don’t have. Mahomes and Kelce will give everything they have but Baltimore excellent defensive lines will shut them down and their offensive lives will be too much for Kansas City to handle. It’s not always wise to pick a #1 seed to make it to the Super Bowl but the Ravens can easily break that curse with a steady win against the Chiefs here.

National Football Conference Round

Dallas Cowboys (#2 Seed) at San Francisco 49ers (#1 Seed)

Date: Sunday, January 28th, 5:30 PM CST

Pick: San Francisco 49ers

Reason: This will be the better and more competitive match-ups between the two conference games but I see 49ers edging out victory against the Cowboys. Dallas is slightly more vulnerable on the road than they are at home and have been San Francisco’s daddy in their last three match-ups. The 49ers just has the Cowboys number all around and that alone can lead this to a very expected outcome. But hey, congrats to good old Jerry for his first NFL championship appearance in nearly 30 years. That should amount to something.

Super Bowl LVIII

Baltimore Ravens (#1 Seed) vs San Francisco 49ers (#1 Seed)

Sunday, February 11th, 5:30 PM CST

Pick: San Francisco 49ers

Reason: Yes, I have the two top seeded teams making it to the Super Bowl! Yes, I have the same match-up that we got on Christmas day making it to the Super Bowl! And yes, I see the 49ers marching their way to their very Super Bowl title in the 21st century against the Ravens. Kyle Shananhan will at long last get his redemption arc after the brutal results of his prior Super Bowl failures against the Patriots and Chiefs. And speaking of revenge, the 49ers are just a team that likes to have revenge for breakfast (just look at that brutal beat down against the Eagles earlier this year that basically broke them). I don’t know how close or one-sided this game will be since these are two teams will similar strengths and weaknesses but I believe the San Francisco 49ers will walk away with the big trophy hanging over their head. Will this be one of the more predictable outcomes? Possibly, but with the way this year has gone, I’m going with predictability all together.

Night Swim (2024) Early Movie Review- A January Horror Movie At It’s Finest

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It’s become cliche to say that a movie released in January sucks. After all, January is pretty much considering the dumpster month of movies. A time where the kids are back in school and the awards contenders are able to hit that end of the year deadline in some areas to qualify for the Oscars. However, in recent memory, there has been a solid number of released films released around this time that were actually not bad or had at least some version of quality. 2016 had Kung Fu Panda 3. 2017 had Split. 2018 (at least in America) had Paddington 2. 2020 (before the pandemic) had Bad Boys For Life. 2022 had Scream. And just last year, 2023 had M3GAN. None of these films were necessarily masterpieces (except for Paddington 2) but they did at least start their respective year on a decent enough note that got folks interested to see what the rest of the year had in stores. If there is a January movie in 2024 that would do exactly that, it’s CERTAINLY not going to be Night Swim. Despite Blumhouse being able to surprise folks with M3GAN last year, they can not make that same lighting strike twice here.

Premise: Forced into early retirement by a degenerative illness, former baseball player Ray Waller (Wyatt Russell) moves into a new house with his wife (Kerry Condon) and two children (Gavin Warren, Amelie Hoeferle). He hopes that the backyard swimming pool will be fun for the kids and provide physical therapy for himself. However, a dark secret from the home’s past soon unleashes a malevolent force that drags the family into the depths of inescapable terror.

The most blatant problem with Night Swim is how it can’t seem to figure out what kind of film it wants to commit the most too. You would believe based off the premise of a pool monster who preys on those that dare take a late night swim would put the majority of the focus on building tension and creating inventive scares that will get under your skin during and after the movie ends. However, it also wants to be a deep thematic movie about learning to accept a new stage in your life when you can no longer go back to the prior one and the overall meaning of sacrifice for the ones you love. Night Swim tries to do both stories at the same time but it’s done in the most half baked way imaginable.

The overall lore and mythology of who exactly this pool demon is are painfully underdeveloped. It’s never clear as to who this monster is, why it does what it does, or even how it’s been allowed to thrive in this pool for so long. Even when we get to the part where the original victim of this monster dive into the backstory of their prior encounter with the demon, it just makes thing even more complicated and confusing than it already is. It seems like it wants that pool to come across as some sort of drug, where the father and son become too addicted to it to the point where they are starting to lose who they are, but it’s never clear as to why it’s suppose to help those that swim into the pool. At best, it might heal Ray Waller of his disease sooner rather than later so he can go back to playing baseball but even then, aside from one scene where they go to the hospital for checks, that never gets addressed again and the movie goes on to the next nonsensical thing. It’s not a good thing when the first thing I ask myself when the movie was over is like, “Why don’t the family just NOT swim in the pool?!” There, problem solved!

The human drama with Ray and his disease is probably the most engaging subplot but it honestly feels like it should have made for it’s own movie rather than this one. A story about Ray having to choose to embrace his new life fighting this new disease only with his family or working his way through his illness to become a ball player could make for an interesting flick but not for a horror one. It’s the two conflicting tones of wanting to be a human drama and an intense horror thriller that makes Night Swim feels at odds with itself. This is all the more apparent in the final reel which the main character makes a move that’s suppose to tie into the overall theme the movie has been flirting with throughout the runtime but because of the other things it had to focus on, it comes across as anti-climatic and (the more that you think about it) incredibly stupid. It should have decided if it wanted to be a personal character driven drama or a straight up scary flick, not both at the same time.

When it comes to the scares themselves, some of them are decent but there is nothing here that will make your skin crawl shortly after the film ends. Most of it only works when it happens in the moment and there’s no creative visual imagery that will be living in your head rent free. The rest of the scares are poorly shot, lighted, and edited where I could barely see what was happening on screen. The perfect example are the scenes towards the end where the mother and son goes into the pool to confront the demon and it felt like the filmmakers had the desire to hid as much as possible for whatever reason. I don’t know if it had to do with the lack of a big budget, the proper rating, or that the director doesn’t have much major film experience but for those coming for the scares, you will likely feel ripped off as well.

Acting wise, while far from the worst performances you will see in an January movie, there’s nothing that stands out from the cast. Wyatt Russell is the most entertaining one here but feels too comedic for this role, almost feeling like he would fit better in a Jordan Peele horror movie rather than this one. Even during the scenes where he supposedly turns evil, it’s hard to buy his sudden turn because of him keeping that same form of charisma that he did in his good form. The rest of the performances from the cast are passable at best but nothing to write home about, giving that exact feeling of only being in it for a quick paycheck.

Night Swim is a perfect example of why horror movies or movies in general released in January get a bad rep. It’s a confused mess that has no idea what kind of film it wants to be. The tone is all over the place, the scares aren’t effective, the lore and mythology surrounding the monster and haunted pool don’t add up, and the ending the more I think on it might just be one of the dumbest endings to a film in recent memory. It might be technically “watchable” and might find an audience for those that have a soft spot for these trashy January horror flicks but it’s definitely not something I can recommend you should go out of your way to see. If anything, you are better off just watching the short film that this is based off of. I may not have seen it myself but I’m willing to bet it’s better than whatever the feature film was.

Move over Bambino and Billy Goat, the newest baseball related curse has arrived in the form of Night Swim!

Most Anticipated Movies of 2024

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2023 is now officially over which mean it’s now time to roll into 2024! And what better way to kick off the early part of January then to share what new films I’m looking forward to the most in 2014.

I’ll be straight up honest with you, there’s not very many films that I’m over the moon excited to see this year. If anything, there’s not so much movies I’m excited for and more movies that I’m CURIOUS for. When viewing the 2024 movie release slate as a whole, you can definitely tell it’s been largely affected by the multiple strikes that took place throughout the course of 2023, causing many film releases to be paused or delayed entirely. Because of that there’s so many films set to come out this year as we speak that we literally know NOTHING about. Perhaps there will be smaller films under my radar or even brand new big films that I have ZERO excitement for will win me over but for now, I’m going into 2024 with pretty pedestrian expectations for what it will bring us in terms of films.

That being said, I still do have ten movies this year that I do have interest in and more likely will check them out around the time that they release.

FYI, I will NOT be including Dune: Part Two on this list because that was already on last year’s list. Considering that only got move backed due to the writers strike along with the fact that was on my list from last year, I don’t need to remind you again that I am legit excited for that movie.

First off, I have a five honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

  • Argylle

We see Matthew Vaughn returning to the spy action genre once again with a stacked cast and an original premise that will hopefully bring a good spin on the genre as we know it. Hopefully, Vaughn is able to recapture that lightning in a bottle he did with Kingsman: The Secret Service and avoid the trappings that brought down Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

  • Ballerina

With The Continental acting as the first spin-off series in the John Wick universe, Ballerina will act as the first spin-off film set in the John Wick universe, taking place between Chapter Two and Three. It will star Ana De Armas as a ballerina named Rooney, a character from Chapter 3 but has been recast, seeking revenge by hunting down the murder of her family. If done well, this has potential to expand upon the John Wick franchise in interesting ways, even without it’s titled main character. And if you saw her brief cameo in No Time To Die, you would know that Ms. Armas is more than capable of handling an action role.

  • Borderlands

After returning to his roots last year with Thanksgiving, Eli Roth is taking his next step a year later with the newest video game film adaption in Borderlands. Even with the increase in quality over the years, video game adaptions are still something to be very cautious over. Even so, there’s a lot of notable names in the cast here with Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, and Jamie Lee Curtis and Eli Roth is the master at making over-the-top bloody gore fests. With the correct rating, this could at worst be a relatively fun time and make for perhaps the goriest video game movie we’ve ever seen!

  • Joker: Folie à Deux

This is one that I’m more CURIOUS about than EXCITED. Even as someone that enjoyed the first Joker but wasn’t jumping off the roof over it, I don’t think it was a film that warranted a sequel. But because the first one made a billion dollars, we see Todd Phillips returning for a follow-up which will see the origin of Harley Quinn played by Lady Gaga and is said to have a more “musical” vibe to it. I have no clue if this will work or not but no doubt I will be there day one to see how this whole thing will play out. This is a bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off!

  • Nosferatu

More than just his cameos in Spongebob Squarepants, Nosfreatu will be a modern remake of the 1922 original starring Bill Skarsgard himself with Robert Eggers (The Lighthouse, The Northman) taking directing duties. Eggers has been a director that has just entered my radar and I’m profoundly interested to see if he can pull off a high quality remake of a film that is now over 100 years old.

Now, here we go with the main top three!

10.) The Fall Guy

The summer movie season of 2024 is not kicking off with yet another Marvel superhero movie but with a fresh action thriller with The Fall Guy, acting as an adaption of the 1980s tv series. We get to see Ryan Gosling acting as a daredevil stuntman that becomes a reluctant investigator to save his ex-girlfriend’s film. David Leitch has easily grown accustomed to the action genre with his work on John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Hobbs & Shaw, and Bullet Train and he looks to continue that even further with The Fall Guy. Even if it’s technically not an “original” film, this looks like it will be a nice change of pace for summer blockbusters and shown it’s more than just an overreliance on superhero or franchise installments.

9.) Kung Fu Panda 4

There are plenty of reasons to be skeptical about a Kung Fu Panda 4. It’s rare to see three straight franchise films in a row to be as consistently good as they are (even if Kung Fu Panda 3 was a step down from the first two) and it’s even rarer for a fourth film to top or even match that level of quality. However, if there’s one thing you should learn by now when it comes to Kung Fu Panda, it’s to NEVER judge a book by it’s cover. Here we will see Po accepting his new role as the Spiritual Leader of the Valley of Peace while passing on the role of the Dragon Warrior to someone else. With a new set of characters such as Zhen (Awkwafina), Han (Ke Huy Quan), and the brand new antagonist the Chameleon (Viola Davis) along with old familiar foes set to return such as Tai Lung (Ian McShane), Kung Fu Panda 4 looks to act as a culmination of the entire Kung Fu Panda series up to this point. Just please make sure the Furious Five come back in some way, shape, or form!

8.) Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Maybe this is recent bias, but after being on cloud nine with Godzilla: Minus One, I can’t help but be more excited for some more action with the King of Monsters. This looks set to be a rematch between Godzilla and King Kong himself, with the two facing a new global threat that will challenge their very existence and the survival of the human race. Based off the marketing and trailers we’ve seen thus far, Adam Wingard seems dead set on promising a gorgeous, action-packed spectacle featuring the two titled characters that everyone is looking to see along with perhaps something more than that. While it will be hard to top Minus One, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is certain to be a genuine crowd pleaser that will be able to expand the brand of these two beloved monsters, allowing their legacies to expand even further.

7.) A Quiet Place: Day One

After two excellent entries in this latest horror franchise, A Quiet Place: Day One will act as a spin-off prequel, showcasing the earlier days of when the worldlike apocalypse in this universe occurred that whipped off the majority of the human population. With Michael Sarnoski taking over for directing duties over John Krasinski, he will look to provide new and inventive ways to deliver clever scares and unique set pieces along with expanding upon the mythology of this franchise even further. I never would have guessed a horror series that has quite a paper-thin premise on paper could get me excited for multiple entries but if they can keep delivering films that are this well made, acted, and engaging, then I will happily take more of them.

6.) Inside Out 2

There is a strong argument to be made that the original Inside Out was objectively the very best Pixar film ever made. It was an animated film that did everything it could with it’s special premise and delivered a stellar motion picture about emotions and feelings and the importance of every notable one of them. With the first film tackling the days of little Riley as a young girl, the second film looks to take a step even further and show Riley going through her days as a teenager. With the new emotion of anxiety and a few others entering this film, we are likely to get a deep dive into the mindset of a young teenage girl going through her own personal struggles. As much as people have been overly critical with the amount of sequels that Pixar has developed over the years, Inside Out 2 is one that has more than enough material on paper to justify it’s existence. If they can make this work, I’ll take more sequels as there is plenty of stories to tell with the entire concept of these movies.

5.) Mickey 17

This is not necessarily one that I know most about or what the actual title of Mickey 17 is suppose to mean. However, there’s one name attached to this project that’s more than enough to me excited for this film to come out. That being no other than the director of Bong Joon-ho. Acting as a follow-up to his Oscar-winning masterpiece of Parasite (*insert angry incel anti-woke fanboy*), Mickey 17 will act as an adaption based off the 2022 novel Mickey 7 and will star the current Batman himself in Robert Pattinson. Would Mickey 17 be this high on the list or even on the list at well if it weren’t for the cast and crew behind this? Probably not. But sometimes, that is more than enough to convince you that it will be worth checking out or at least be a worthwhile quality piece of art.

4.) Deadpool 3

Acting as the only cinematic entry to be released in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Deadpool 3 will be looking to add the humor, charm, and violence that made the first two movies so good and be able to deliver them in new, satisfying ways. With Hugh Jackman coming out of retirement as Wolverine (in the classic Wolverine suit at long LAST) along with potential other well-known X-Men characters joining the party with longtime actors reprising their roles, I wouldn’t be surprised if Deadpool 3 ends up being to Deadpool what No Way Home was to Spider-Man in acting as a celebration of prior Marvel movies. If done well, this can serve as a delicious appetizer and gets everyone excited for the next main course that will be the upcoming Avengers movies, most notably Secret Wars. Oh, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Taylor Swift have a role in some way. After all, you gotta get that few extra bucks from the Swifties.

3.) Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Approaching the 10 year anniversary of the action movie masterwork that was Mad Max: Fury Road (can’t believe it’s ALREADY been nine years), George Miller returns once again to this post-apocalyptic world which he helped created but with a prequel that puts the spotlight on the latest action heroine icon from Fury Road in Imperator Furiosa, played this time around by Anya Taylor Joy. With this being reported to be in the works for several years now, this is clearly a passion project for Miller himself and wants to give everything he has to do it. While it does look more CGI-ish compared to Fury Road, if Furiosa is able to at least capture a quarter of the magic that 2015 game changer did with it’s stunts, action, visual storytelling, and emotional depth, then it may just continue the Mad Max franchise even further, with hope that the long in development installment, Mad Max: The Wasteland, might see the light of day. Even so, I’m just at least happy to be able to spend more time in this universe.

2.) Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

In an age where most newest installments in long-running franchises are uneven and inconsistent in terms of quality, who would’ve guess that it’s the recent run of Planet of the Apes movies that is ahead of the curve in that regard. Coming off a hugely successful three-movie run with Rupert Wyatt and Matt Reeves that told the complete story of Caesar, the baton has been passed to Wes Ball for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Set 300 years after the events of War for the Planet of the Apes, ape civilizations have emerged higher than ever while the human population is now at it’s absolute lowest, with the focus now on a young ape named Noa and a young human girl named Mae. If the quality of the first three rebooted ape movies is anything to go by, I would expect Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is to be yet another amazing accomplishment with motion capture and visual storytelling along with getting one step closer to the events of the original 1968 Planet of the Apes where it’s completely ape dominated. Between this and Furiosa, Memorial Day weekend is sure to be one strong weekend for films.

1.) Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Do I expect this to be the best movie of 2024? No! Is there a strong chance that this will likely be the worst of the anticipated films I’ve mentioned? Yes! But at the same time, I can’t help but have my mind set on Sonic the Hedgehog 3 more than any other upcoming movie this year. Maybe it’s due to the fact that the prior two Sonic the Hedgehog movies were honestly more or less the Sonic movies I’ve always dreamed off as a kid but Sonic 3 has a chance to not just set a new standard for video game movies but possibly make Sonic popular than he ever has been before. With it set to introduce fan-favorite character Shadow the Hedgehog, possible well known Sonic characters such as Amy Rose and Rouge the Bat might get thrown into the mix, seeing how the Sonic lore is more expanded upon, and even just seeing how the main trio grow as characters, Sonic 3 just seems set to be an absolute blast for Sonic fans, video game fans, and everyday moviegoers alike. We might not know the exact plot synopsis quite yet or even who is going to be cast as Shadow the Hedgehog. However, the build up and anticipation to it’s holiday release of Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is what I’m looking forward to the most throughout the majority of 2024. I don’t expect this to win an Oscar or even be my absolute favorite of the year, but the inner child in me is what make Sonic the Hedgehog 3 my most anticipated film of the year!

As for other big movies coming out this year:

  • I saw Night Swim early. It kinda stinks and is pretty much the exact definition of a January horror movie. Don’t expect another pleasant surprise like M3GAN from it.
  • There’s another Mean Girls coming out that acts as more of a musical than an actual remake. Hopefully, it’s not another Mean Girls 2.
  • Madame Web seems set to be a Madame Webbing time (Did I do that right?).
  • Love Lies Bleeding looks like it will be every Sapphics wet dream.
  • Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire was another holdover from 2023 but from the trailers, it looks like yet another reminder about how Hollywood has completely forgot what made Ghostbusters special.
  • Rebel Moon: Part Two might fix the flaws of Part One but either Netflix needs to learn how to properly release their feature films or Zack Snyder needs to learn how to release a proper film in it’s actual cut released for theaters and streaming.
  • There’s a new Universal monster movie set to star Melissa Barrera, the actress who just got fired from Scream due to voicing her support from Palestine. That alone is enough for me to show my support!
  • Alex Garland’s Civil War seems set to be the most controversial film of 2024 in both the best and worst ways possible. Just please let this be closer in quality to Ex Machina and Annihilation and NOT Men.
  • There’s another Strangers film coming with The Strangers: Chapter 1 for fans of that series. I’m not really one of them.
  • An animated Garfield film is also coming on Memorial Day alongside Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes and Furiosa. It looks cute but why does Chris Pratt got to be in every animated movie nowadays?
  • Bad Boys 4 might still be a thing this year, assuming the whole world has gotten covered Will Smith’s Oscar slap.
  • Despicable Me 4 is happening because….I guess the kids still love minions.
  • Twisters is an upcoming disaster film with the director of Minari. That could be good.
  • M. Night Shyamalan has another movie set with Trap. And even his daughter has a new movie as well. Let’s see how those turn out!
  • Horizon: An American Saga is getting Chapters 1 and 2 in the same year directed by Kevin Costner no less. Could be interesting!
  • Alien, Lord of the Rings, and The Karate Kid are getting new films this year believe it or not but we literally know NOTHING about them whatsoever.
  • Gladiator and Beetlejuice are getting sequels….for some reason.
  • Kraven the Hunter movie is still a thing….for some reason. Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 game pretty much already has that beat by a mile.
  • Transformers One could be yet another surprisingly enjoyable or just okay Transformers movie that will likely underperform at the box office because the world is still recovering from Bayformers or even misses it.
  • Wolfs is the next film from prior Spider-Man director, Jon Watts. We’ll see how that goes.
  • Saw XI and Smile 2 are coming because of how successful the last Saw and first Smile was.
  • Venom 3 will likely be another film which will help Sony continue to destroy the last remaining will that superhero movies still have. At least Tom Hardy will still be run, right?
  • Red One is an upcoming Christmas adventure with The Rock and Chris Evans because….of course.
  • Wicked: Part One will be a newest musical fantasy adaption that I may check out if the reviews are good enough.
  • And of course, Disney is releasing Mufasa: The Lion King, which will likely be another bad or underwhelming Disney live-action remake that pales in comparison to the original. Barry Jenkins is WAY too talented of a director for this!

A Brand New Spongebob Squarepants Marathon Announcement

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Yesterday, I claimed that I would reveal what yearly marathon I had planned for 2024! Well, here it is! To celebrate the 25th anniversary of Spongebob Squarepants, I decided to do a retrospective (and later on)/perspective on the entire franchise as a whole. This includes every season up to this point and three featured films that have come out. I won’t be discussing the spin-off shows such as Kamp Koral or The Patrick Star Show, just everything tv or movie related that connects to the actual MAIN series involving our favorite yellow sponge. I may cover some new Spongebob content that comes out in 2024 such as the new Sandy Cheeks movie titled Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie or a potential 25th anniversary episode but there’s no guarantee when or even if I will go over those.

It won’t so much talk about each individual season and ESPECIALLY not each individual episode but go in depth to the several different eras of Spongebob that took place when referring to it’s overall quality. And unlike mainstream media, it’s not going to be the one-note/sided argument about how everything good that happened with Spongebob was the first three seasons and first movie and everything to come after that was bad with no redeemable values to it. That would be tiresome and just plain lazy. I don’t refer to the two separated spectrums of Spongebob as exclusively being pre-movie Spongebob and post-movie Spongebob. In my eyes, there’s just good Spongebob and bad Spongebob.

The goal of this marathon is to talk about a handful of seasons at a time while getting together of what seemed to be the general opinion surrounding each individual era from the hardcore Spongebob fandom. It’s a means of celebrating the 25th year long legacy of Spongebob Squarepants and why the series has stood the test of time to this very day.

This schedule is subject to change throughout the year, but at the moment, here is what my planned yearly schedule for the year looks like:

January: The Golden Era (Seasons 1-3)

February: The Spongebob Squarepants Movie

March: The “Awkward” Era (Season 4-5)

April: The “Bad” Era (Season 6-7)

May: The “Other Awkward” Era (Season 8-9)

June: The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

July: The “New Golden” Era (Season 10-11)

August: The “New Bad” Era (Season 12-13)

September: The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run

October: The “Current” Era (Season 14-onwards)

November: TBD

December: Ranking of Every Single Season

Again, this is subject to change but that’s the road map that I have at the moment.

I get the feeling that this is going to be the most fun marathon that I’ve ever done on this blog. Especially because Spongebob has had such an impact on me since I was a childhood and is a character that is just incredibly important to me. And because this is meant to be a brand new anniversary for him, why not celebrate by taking a good trip down memory lane?!