Dune: Part Two (2024) Early Movie Review: Denis Villeneuve To The Rescue

There are times to where being a fan of cinema is difficult! There are times to where there are so many duds and whimpers that get released simultaneously that you wonder how much more you can take! How much time and money are you willing to spend to watch a motion picture that’s not even good enough to be a simple three out of four star flick! In the case of films kicking off in the first two months of 2024, I don’t think I can recall a year that has gotten off to such a worst start, so much so that the only film that I would give a solid three out of four star recommendation to is….Lisa Frankenstein of all things.

Night Swim started off 2024 with the exact OPPOSITE feeling I had walking out of 2023 with M3GAN, Mean Girls was a painfully mediocre musical that didn’t do it’s source material justice, Bob Marley One Love was a safe, disposable, by-the-numbers bio pic, The Beekeeper and Argylle had their moments but they got way more overly complicated than they had any right to be, and everyone knows how much of a trainwreck Madame Web was. There is also one movie that hurt me dearly that I can’t post my review of yet because I’m not sure I’m allow to because there’s been no review embargo for it thus far.

Suffice to say, movies quite suck right now, even for someone that tries to be as optimistic about them as possible. Thankfully, we have the great Denis Villeneuve here to safe us all with his outstanding follow-up to the very good Dune: Part One with Dune: Part Two, a film which by the way wasn’t even suppose to come out last year but got pushed back due to the strikes. Regardless of the timing of it’s release, Dune: Part Two is exactly what fans hoped it would be and so much more!

If Dune: Part One acted as Villeneuve setting the training wheels on his bike in motion, Dune: Part Two sees him being able to successfully take those training wheels off and pushed that bike down the hill with good graces. Nearly all that set up that amounted in Part One has immensely satisfying pay offs in Part Two, the action and set pieces are taking to a whole new level, every single member of it’s stacked cast get their moment to shine, and I can’t recall a film in recent memory that such stellar cinematography that it 100% makes the whole experience worth seeing in IMAX. This is an instant sci-fi classic that will likely go down as one of the best cinematic experiences that I along with others will have all throughout 2024.

Premise: Paul Atreides (Timothee Chalamet) unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. Facing a choice between the love of his life and the fate of the universe, he must prevent a terrible future only he can foresee.

What is made the most apparent about Dune: Part Two is how much Denis Villeneuve clearly understood the assignment with his second trip in the world of Dune. He knew exactly the plot threads that he had established in Part One that needed to have immense payoff in Part Two. With the first film taking the majority of it’s runtime to establish the lore, world building, and who these characters are, the second film shows you manages to deepen all of that and show you just everything that the world of Dune is capable off. That’s not to say that everything is tied up into a complete bow exactly by the time two and a half hours has flown by, but it’s clear the kind of story that Villeneuve left hanging in the last one is able to be continue and reached a definite conclusion in this one. This definitely makes for a perfect case as to why not only splitting Dune into two movies was actually justified but it also acted as a necessary evil.

I’m sure there will be plenty of folks claiming that Dune: Part Two is to Dune: Part One what The Empire Strikes Back was to the original Star Wars. While that is an 100% accurate comparison, it’s able to learn the “right” lessons from that game changing sci-fi masterpiece that came out in 1980. It’s not only bigger, better, and bolder than it’s predecessor because of how “dark” it is, but because it’s able to use an unconventional structure of storytelling to push all the right buttons on making a perfect sequel. Dune: Part Two is able to challenge it’s characters, expand upon the mythos and lore, and deliver the kind of visuals and set pieces in all the ways that the first one was unable to provide, while making for a completely mesmerizing and memorable theater experience in it’s own rights. It’s not trying to be overly dark for the sake of it, it’s just trying to stand out by pushing measures in filmmaking that only Dune: Part Two could ever provide.

Of course, we once again follow Paul Atreides, played perfectly by Timothée Chalamet, right where we left off in his journey from Part One. Still carried by all that burden from trying to avenge his father’s death and his family’s legacy from the Harkonnen, we see Paul being pushed beyond his measures to stop the conspirators from messing up his life and future even further. While he now has new allies with his new love in Chani and the Fremen, it’s ultimately himself that has to make the tough decisions throughout. Tough decisions that might put an end to the terrible future he constantly sees in his dreams but might come at the expense of those he loves and the overall fate of the universe.

It’s the type of conflict that Paul and the other characters have that makes each choice they make all the more intriguing. Similar to The Empire Strikes Back (I promise this is the last comparisons I will make with that), Dune: Part Two knows the best way to make the stakes more personal is to constantly put it’s own characters in constant peril throughout it’s entire runtime. After all, during a time of war, desperate times call for desperate measures. What you do in the short run could absolutely impact you in the best and worst ways in the long run.

Much like last year’s Oppenheimer, it’s incredible just how much the effort of the entire cast and crew working through the picture is clearly shown on the big screen. Once again, letting every single penny of it’s 100 million plus budget feel properly used on the big screen. This has easily one of the best, most talented, and quite frankly hottest talented ensembles for a film that I’ve ever seen. Regardless, of how big or small their roles are, they are all able to stand out in their own way.

While Timothée Chalamet was solid in Part One, he’s on a completely different level here, feeling much more free willing and unhinged in his performance. His screen presence is felt every single time he steps in front of the camera, giving the perfect kind of energy and depth needed to carry a picture with some of the best and most acclaimed actors surrounding him. A lot of that has to do with Part Two being able to explore that darker side with Paul as he is forced to make decisions as he takes his big steps into becoming a war leader, the decisions that he seemed unwilling to make in the first one. As much as Chalament nailed playing the typical pretty white boy role in the past, he is able to come to his own here as being an absolute movie star that can carry his own presence and even be great in action sequences. Between the commercial success of Wonka and the likely success of this, I would expect his agent’s phones are gonna be ringing like crazy come next Monday.

Making for the perfect equal to Chalamet’s Paul is Zendaya’s Chani. There’s a strong argument to make that she is basically the beating heart of the story. She not only has a role that feels much more expanded this time around but the arc that Chani goes through is the direct reflection of what Paul has, being put in a difficult place during war that may cost those they love for victory. She shares perfect chemistry with Chalamet and makes for one of the most compelling on-screen romances in recent memory. It honestly made me realize just how much I miss these kind of romance stories that don’t resonate much in most mainstream franchises today.

The rest of the returning cast of the first one are just as great to see again as before. Rebecca Ferguson continues to be a force to be reckoning with as she always is in every movie that she is in, Josh Brolin as Gurney takes a while to come into the picture but that energy that Brolin brings is still present, Dave Bautista as Glossu Rabban is giving more screen time than before, and Javier Bardem not only seems like he’s having the most fun out of everyone but he has surprisingly great comedic timing throughout the film. I could have used a bit more of Stellan Skarsgard as The Baron though.

In terms of the new players, they all own their own weight completely and fits perfectly along with the rest of the cast. Christopher Walken is completely buyable as the great Emperor of the film, being able to make the role more of his own than I imagine the character was in the books. Florence Pugh is equally great as the Emperor’s daughter, at times feeling like the narrator or guiding viewpoint of the antagonists of the film. Lea Seydoux, Souheila Yacoub, and Anya Taylor-Joy might not get as much screentime as some might expect but they absolutely sell their roles with the limited screen time they are given. The biggest stand out of the newcomer is Austin Butler as Feyd-Rautha. Butler kills every moment that he is given throughout the film, perfectly combing the mix of being charismatic, menacing, and an absolute blast to watch whenever he is on screen. As a matter of fact, there’s about a 15 to 20 minute period where the film focuses perfectly on him and took time away from the main character and I did not care one bit. That right there should tell you all you need to know about how awesome Butler is as a main bad guy of Feyd-Rautha.

From a technical component, words are not enough to describe how much of a beautifully crafted and well made film this is. There is not a single categories of filmmaking on display that is not worth a nomination for next year’s Oscars. The visuals are absolutely breathtaking with not a single flat shot to be found here, the sound design is impeccable and first perfectly with each individual scene, the editing is the exact definition of Oscar-calibar, each action set piece is treated with incredibly impressive fight choreography and jaw dropping sequences (the biggest stand outs being the first sequence in the desert, Feyd-Rautha’s ceremony introduction, and the final 45 minutes in general), and Hans Zimmer is even able to outdo himself with a score that is as captivating and chill-inducing as before.

While everyone on the creative team deserves all the credit in the world, a special shout-out has to be given to cinematographer Greig Fraser. Fraser has already done amazing work from behind the camera with the likes of Zero Dark Thirty, Rogue One, and The Batman but it’s his work in both of these two Dune movies that have stood out the most for me. These films would not be as good as they were if they were unable to let it’s visuals and imagery do the majority of the talking (and that’s not just because of Villeneuve’s recent “anti-dialogue” comments). After all, it’s the overall look and feel of the world of Dune itself that helps differentiate it from the rest of the sci-fi genre out there. Take that a way and these new Dune films would not be what they are. I know it’s early in 2024 but I would be shocked if I see a film that is as beautiful to look at as Dune: Part Two, which should make that Oscar a slam dunk for Mr. Fraser.

Dune: Part Two is just about as good as it could be regardless of any way you look at it. If you look at it as being the right follow-up to Part One that leaves seasonings for a possible third film with Dune: Messiah, you will get that. If you look at it as being the saving grace of 2024 in cinema thus far, you will get that. Heck, if you are just looking for a great sci-fi flick regardless of how it compares to other sci-fi flicks of it’s kind, you will get that as well.

There are certainly nits you can pick such as the first 15 minutes being a tad slow, some actors not getting as much time as you expect, and a wrap-up that doesn’t so much act as a definite end and more leaves an opening to Dune: Messiah. Even so, this is the cinema experience as it’s finest. The kind of experience that is fading away by each passing day. I don’t know if Dune: Part Two will act as the beginning of the end of cinema as we know it or the start of something more hopeful and uplifting for the future but no doubt, those that are excited for this upcoming picture will surely get their money’s worth.

Rock on, Denis Villeneuve! Just please provide less controversial takes for the near future, please!

Other comments:

  • Yeah, I don’t agree with Villeneuve’s comments on dialogue but I’m not gonna destroy him for it either. He just needs to be like Christopher Nolan and not let his ego get the better of him.

  • Austin Butler as sure come a long way from being that boyfriend character in Zoey 101 that no one liked to playing an antagonist that forces Drax the Destroyer to kiss his feet.

  • It really is impressive how more organic the pacing feels here compared to Part One. Even the slow moments didn’t feel as outrageously slow to me as they did in Part One.

  • And btw, I’m not joking about that prior point. Austin Butler literally forces Dave Bautista to kiss his feet and that is so satisfying to see. No offense to Drax!

  • I’m definitely curious to watching these two films back-to-back the way they were initially intended and see if the five and a half hour complete experience makes it all for the better.

  • And for those wondering, yes, Dune: Part One would have found a spot on my Best Movies of 2021 list from either the honorable mentions category or my main top 10. I still have my issues with the pacing but no doubt, it’s a great cinematic achievement with the kind of visuals and world building I always love for my sci-fi. Rock on again, Denis!

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) Retrospective- The Perfect Villain

After the surprising success of Kung Fu Panda in 2008, a Kung Fu Panda 2 just had to be made. As a matter of fact, according to DreamWorks CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg, they were looking to do a complete saga’s worth of Kung Fu Panda installments with at least six total. However, with DreamWorks, it’s clearly one step at a time by focusing on one distinct chapter at a time, especially in regards to Kung Fu Panda. We would end up getting a follow-up the original Kung Fu Panda three years later with 2011’s Kung Fu Panda 2.

As much as folks were doubtful that the first film could work at all given it’s bizarre premise, I believe there was even more doubt that a sequel could work in any way, shape, or form. Like what else could you do with a follow-up to Kung Fu Panda? Have Po be a bumbling idiot and learn the same lessons that he already learned the first time around? Clearly the first movie have to be a magical fluke and there’s no way DreamWorks could make lightning strike twice, right?! Right?! Welp, you would be wrong once again!

Kung Fu Panda 2 is not only as good as the original, it’s even better. It does EVERYTHING you want a sequel to do. It takes the characters into new and interesting directions, it expands upon it’s story and lore in the most logically way possible, the action and animation are taken to the next level, and it’s able to act as the best possible next step for the journey of Po as oppose to do just retreating steps from his first go around. It’s not only the best Kung Fu Panda movie thus far but it’s perhaps one of the best DreamWorks films ever made and even one of the best sequels of all time period. Not just in animation but in all films in general.

However, there is one strong element that’s able to hold this entire film together. One element that was perhaps a bit lacking in the first film compared to everything else going on. That is no other than the main villain of Shen, voiced BRILLIANTLY by Gary Oldman. Don’t get me wrong, Tai Lung was a fine antagonist overall but Shen easily blows him and any other antagonist in this entire series out of the water. The key to making a perfect sequel is to have a perfect villain. And Kung Fu Panda 2 is able to succeed GREATLY in that regard.

What makes Shen the best and most interesting antagonist of the entire series is his connection to Po. Unlike with Tai Lung and Kai, Shen is a villain that actually has a tie-in to Po’s past. Throughout Kung Fu Panda 2, you get a deeper dive into Po’s tragic past that was largely glossed over in the first film. A past that actually saw him with his fellow kin of pandas and his own biological mommy and daddy. However, there was one awful night where a good chunk of Po’s kind was wiped out and executed. That execution came from an army of deadly wolves that was lead by none other than Shen himself. It’s that connection that Shen has with Po that makes the conflict between him the most personal and engaging of the entire series.

Switching over to Po for a second, Po at this point has embraced his new life as The Dragon Warrior who now fights greatly alongside the Furious Five. However, he still has plenty to learn throughout his journey. One main component being that Po must achieve inner peace. Inner peace is a concept within the Kung Fu Panda universe to describe a peaceful state of mind and spirit. In the words of Shifu, it’s the ability “harness the flow of the universe”, enabling one to do basically the impossible. In a way, this is almost like what I imagine the special power that Po thought he was going to get with The Dragon Scroll but never got.

However, there is one road block that constantly gets in the way whenever Po tries to achieve inner peace throughout the course of the film. That being what happened the night that Po lost his parents, that night which was caused by Shen and his army. With that terrible memory he still has in his head that has come back to haunt him, finding inner peace seems impossible for Po because he can’t seem to put his past behind him. Something which Po can only be achieve once he discovered what happened that night. Unfortunately for Po, the only person that can answer that is Shen himself.

After Shifu sends Po and the Furious Five on a mission to Gongmen City after learning that Shin killed Kung Fu Master Thundering Rhino, Po is basically giving no choice put to confront his past head on in the hopes that it will unlock the secrets to not just inner peace but a brighter future as well. Shen, in this movie, is looking to do the unthinkable and destroy kung fu once and for all. He plans to do this by committing absolute genocide around China with cannons, hoping that will wipe out every single Kung Fu member and tradition.

The two first encountered with one another when Po and the Furious Five surrender to Shen and his army. However, Po claims he has a plan in motion and surprisingly enough, it succeeds. He’s able to catch Shen off guard and has the perfect opportunity to put an end to him right there but he doesn’t. The main thing that stopped him was symbol of Shen’s armor. It’s that exact same symbol Po saw with him when confronting bad guys at the village and it’s the symbol that calls back to that night where Po lost his parents. Because of that distraction, Shen escapes and destroys Gongmen Palace with his cannonade.

Tigress and the Furious Five demand to know why Po held back at stopping Shen. Despite initially hesitating, Po gives in and reveals that he believes that Shen knows what happened with his parents on the night that he lost them. With Po lacking clear focus on his mission, Tigress orders Po to sit the rest of the mission out and let the Furious Five handling it, refusing to let her friend get killed. But of course, Po can’t help himself and must seek answers from Shen. Not only will those answers make his past clear but it might just help unlock the inner peace hidden within himself.

Because of that eagerness, Po disobeys Tigress’s orders and goes to confront Shen himself. When Po demands answers from his new connected foe about what happened that night, Shen tells him that he was in fact there at night and watched as his parents abandoned him. That’s right! According to the words of Shen himself, it wasn’t him that caused Po to be separated from his real parents, it was themselves. With Po being horrified off the truth, that allows Shen to shoot the panda through his cannon, leaving him plenty of miles away from his fortress.

What I find the most fascinating about that exchange is that I don’t think Shen himself believes he is lying to Po there. Yes, he is clearly not telling the truth about Po’s parents abandoning him but I don’t think he himself realizes that. The main reason for that is with Shen’s own experience with his parentage. That experience which had fuel him into using his kung fu for evil and destroy China.

It’s revealed early in the film that the peacock rulers of Gongmen City actually invented fireworks for the purpose of peace. However, the ruler’s son, Shen, discovered that the gunpowder used to make the fireworks can also be used as a weapon. Once Shen’s parents take notice to their son’s sudden obsession with using fireworks as armory, they consult a soothsayer, who tells the two that if their son’s continues down this path of wrongful and sinful behavior, he will be defeated by “a warrior of black and white”. Overhearing of the prophecy, Shen believes that this supposed warrior has to be a panda, which is why he send his army of wolves to execute the pandas from all around the world, hoping this would lead to the prophecy not being fulfilled. Horrified by the panda genocide, Shen’s parents banished their own son from the city as he is no longer the boy they have come to love.

When saying that backstory out loud, you can actually get a sense as to why Shen would believe that Po would abandon his parents because he believes that is what parenthood is all about. With the way he was abandoned by his own parents, he only assumes that’s how the meaning of life is for everybody. Yes, they had ever right to do so but not in the eyes of Shen. This is because how much evil has blinded him from being the one good peacock he had the potential to be. The one that was able to use fireworks for good and not evil. The one that might have been able to fulfill his destiny and rule over Gongmen City for his parents. The one that would allow his past not to define him but only consume him. That right there spells out the perfect parallel that Shen has with Po.

However, the main difference between the past that Po and Shen share is how Po responds to learning the full truth about the tragic night with his parents. After getting blasted out of the cannon, Po is rescued by the soothsayer, the same one that was with Shen when she told the prophecy that caused him to wreck havoc. She tells Po all about the panda genocide and encourages him to face that past head on. It’s the only way that Po can do what he has been looking to do all movie long, achieve inner peace.

It’s then we get to what is not only hands down the best sequence in the entire franchise but one of the best scenes in any animated film period. This is the moment that the entire film has been building to. This is the moment where Po finally achieves inner peace. As Po unlocks the inner peace within himself, he is able to remember his father fighting off Shen’s army while his mother hid him in a little crate, drawing off the army so her son could survive. While the fate of his father is unknown, it basically all but confirms that Po’s mother is truly dead. It’s unlocking inner peace that allowed Po to unlock his past.

However, Po doesn’t have to be like Shen. He doesn’t have to let his past define him and motivate him to use his powers for evil. Instead, he can heal himself, leave the past behind him, and motivate himself to use his knowledge of kung fu for not just for the greater good but for a better and more uplifting future that awaits him. After all, he has already accomplished a great many things already during his time as the Dragon Warrior, as the rapid clip show of the events of the last two movies would show. This is where everything comes full circle for Po and this entire series in general. At the end of the day, Po is not Shen. Po is Po and he needs a hat!

One final master stroke of Po’s and Shin’s story is how both used their powers that they unlocked from their past. Shin is able to use the cannon of fireworks in the hopes that it would destroy China while Po is able use the knowledge of inner peace in the hopes that it would save China. However, because Po is the one that learned to not let his past define him, it is him that emerges victorious where Shen is defeated in the end. Whereas Po embraced his past as a scar that is a part of him forever, Shen embraced his past as a wound that never healed. Most of all, Po learned what Shen failed to. That the only thing that matters for yourself is what you choose to be in the here and now, not in the before or later. Because of that, Po was able to save the Furious Five, his master, and most importantly, all of China and kung fu from Shen.

When people talk about the best Part Twos of all time, a main strength that each and every one of them has is the perfect villain. The Empire Strikes Back had Darth Vader. Spider-Man 2 had Doc Ock. The Dark Knight had the Joker. And when it comes to DreamWorks Part Twos, Shrek 2 had the fairy godmother and Puss in Boots: The Last Wish had Death in the form of a wolf himself. Kung Fu Panda 2 has Shen and it’s all the more perfect for it.

There is an old saying that the hero is only as good as it’s villain. If that is indeed true, then I don’t think there has been an antagonist in any DreamWorks movie that was able to fit the exact meaning of that with Shen himself. Shen to this day is still the best villain in the entire Kung Fu Panda franchise and one of the best villains I have seen in any animated movie! I can’t imagine Kung Fu Panda 2 being the perfect sequel that it is if it wasn’t for Shen’s strong presence throughout the entire film. He make for a perfect parallel to Po and just makes for the perfect side of a coin in general.

If you are an inspiring screenwriter that is looking on how to make the perfect villain for your story, look no further than with Shen in Kung Fu Panda 2.

Next up: Kung Fu Panda 3– Finding Your Inner Chi

Kung Fu Panda (2008) Retrospective- Redefining The Chosen One

If there is one movie out there that is basically the textbook definition of “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover!”, that would be Kung Fu Panda. On paper, this sounds like the dumbest idea ever. A big fat panda voiced by Jack Black learning Kung Fu?! That feels like an idea that came from the same person that thought The Emoji Movie would be a great hit! And that’s not even going to the overall marketing and trailers for this movie, which played the movie as being nothing more than a water down slapstick comedy aimed for toddlers. However, once the movie came out during the summer of 2008, we all could not have been wrong about Kung Fu Panda.

I believe it’s safe to say that Kung Fu Panda has been far in a way Dreamwork’s most surprising franchise to date. Heck, with the exception of Shrek and How To Train Your Dragon, you could argue Kung Fu Panda is their best and most consistent franchise to date. This was a series of films that most folks didn’t think could hold it’s own standalone film, let alone a franchise, with a premise that sounded like the stupidest idea imaginable. However, not only is Kung Fu Panda is able to work despite it’s silly premise, it’s able to work BECAUSE of it.

It’s able to use that “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” mindset that not only acts what most folks thought of Kung Fu Panda when watching it but use that as the central theme throughout the film. And it’s that theme that makes for the perfect way to tell the story of the main character of Po, the titled panda that learns kung fu. A story that is yet again another chosen one narrative with the main character having to go through the typical hero’s journey but is able to use it’s admittedly absurd premise to find a completely fresh and unique way to tell it. It’s that exact reason and much more that makes Kung Fu Panda the right movie to talk about when it comes to films that is successfully able to redefine the typical chosen one narrative.

When we first meet Po, he seems like the last person that is worthy of being the chosen one, or as the movie refers to it as The Dragon Warrior. Sure, he is shown to be a massive fanboy of kung fu, with him having dreams of becoming the ultimate dragon warrior and owning his own action figures of the entire Furious Five group, but he comes off as an absolute clumsy oaf who don’t seem to take anything seriously. However, despite having a straight forward future with running a noodle shop with his TOTALLY not adapted father Mr. Ping, his heart doesn’t seem to eagerly awaiting for that kind of future. He’s awaiting for that special opportunity to fight alongside the Furious Five. He’s awaiting to become a kung fu warrior. It’s then the day that Po has been waiting for arrives, the day that known kung fu legend Master Oogway announces who The Dragon Warrior is.

After a handful of hilariously comedy bits in seeing how Po tries to enter a closed palace for the ceremony along with admitting to his father that noodles aren’t really his thing, we see Oogway choosing the Dragon Warrior. And that Dragon Warrior turned out to be no one other than Po himself. Not Tigress, not any member of the Furious Five, and not even a tall and muscular man! The Dragon Warrior is a fat panda named Po.

That moment is not only Oogway choosing the fate of kung fu in the valley of peace set in China but the fate of the actual movie in general. He is basically counting on the most unlikely person imaginable for the job. He is counting on the titled panda character voiced by Jack Black to carry the entire picture and make Po’s heroic journey feel earned. It may seem unimaginable but Oogway has fate in himself, his students, and most importantly, the audience to be alongside Po’s quest to become the Dragon Warrior by any means necessary.

Shifu is the one kung fu master that has to train Po to become the Dragon Warrior, as he had trained the Furious Five. His goal is to teach the panda kung fu and have him become good enough to not only defeat the sinister Tai Lung, Shifu’s fallen apprentice that has escaped from prison with a massive grudge against his former master, but also to claim the dragon scroll, which is believed to have the secrets to limitless power of kung fu. However, as you would expect for as someone that is as bumbling and clumsy as Po looks, it does not start off well at all.

Po’s early days of training are nothing short of disaster. Fallen short of every possible training lesson, session, and technique needed to master any sort of kung fu, Po had lived up to his first impressions of being the worst possible person for the job of the Dragon Warrior. Due to that, every one around him seems to think that Oogway made a mistake picking Po. Shifu believes it, the Furious Five believes it, and worst of all, Po himself believes it as well. The only person that does NOT believe Oogway was wrong is well…Oogway himself.

After receiving word of Tai Lung escaping from prison, Shifu realizes that their days may be numbered before evil strikes the heart of the valley of peace. Matters are made even more complicated when Oogway’s time has come and dies of old age at the Sacred Peach Tree, blown away by wind and pink petals. Even though Shifu has done everything in his power to get rid of Po, he now knows he has no choice but to do everything in his power to train Po and become the ultimate Kung Fu master.

Before he is able to do that, Po tries to run away from the responsibility after coming to the realization that he is the only one that can stop Tai Lung. We then have a great moment between Shifu and Po when the former asks the latter why he didn’t quit when everyone was trying to get rid of him. Po claims that despite all of the constant failing and insults from Shifu and the gang, he powered through with it because he figured that if there was anyone that can change himself from being just a big fat panda to a noble warrior, it was Shifu. This right there is a major defining moment of the movie.

This is when the movie has it’s main character basically questioning it’s own premise and overall existence. There is no way a big fat panda can be the one to be the hero that saves the day, it has to be someone way more than him. Po doesn’t want to be that anymore because that’s not what is normally defined as being a hero. No matter how good he can be at kung fu, Po will always be that big fat panda in his overall appearance and nothing can change that. Nothing except for possibly the dragon scroll.

With Shifu figuring out that the only way to motivated Po to be the best Kung Fu warrior imaginable is with food, he takes unconventional measures to train Po, measures that he could never have done with the Furious Five. Because of that, Po is able to succeed and have now learn how to properly Kung Fu. After the Furious Five attempt to take Tai Lung head on and failing, Shifu believes that it is now time to hand Po the dragon scroll, which is believed to do basically anything to help the Dragon Warrior master Kung Fu in ways unimaginable.

However, something unexpected happens once Po opens up the dragon scroll. It’s blank. Literally completely blank. Only showing himself in a golden reflection. No kung fu cheat codes, no magical or whimsical power! Nothing but Po himself. All of that build up and hype for the dragon scroll turned out to be literally for nothing!

Now, a movie where the big overall reveal turns out to be nothing is a HUGE risk, especially when there has been so much build up towards it. It could make the whole experience feel like it was a giant waste of time with trying to keep a secret that ultimately amount to literally NOTHING. However, Kung Fu Panda not only makes it completely work but it might just be the best “nothing” twist that I’ve seen in any movie.

After Po and the Furious Five go their separate ways with Shifu, who awaits his former student’s arrival, we see Po running into his father once again as the whole valley evacuates. Despite learning kung fu, it seems like Po is right back where he started at the beginning of the film, awaiting his noodle tradition future with his adopted father. It’s then that Mr. Ping believes it is time for him to let his son know of his little secret. That secret being the secret ingredient of his secret ingredient soup. And just like with the dragon scroll, the secret ingredient is literally nothing.

That’s right! That secret that Mr. Ping has kept from his son for so long turned out to be literally nothing. It’s nothing but plain old noodle soup. Even though there is no secret ingredient, Mr. Ping believes he doesn’t need it for his soup to be a success. The fact that he believes his soup making skills are special is good enough for him. The fact that he believed in it hard enough and made it happen was the true secret ingredient to all of this.

And there it is right there! That was the meaning of The Dragon Scroll! That was the point that Oogway was trying to get across! There is no secret ingredient to becoming a hero, it’s just you! Your overall appearance doesn’t matter! It’s only a matter if you believe in yourself willingly to accomplish the goals you set out to achieve! That moment right there is not only telling Po himself not to take himself for granted but also the audience as well!

It’s Po using the skills he learned from Shifu and the knowledge he discovered from his father to defeat the sinister Tai Lung. It’s nothing that was learned from any member of the Furious Five or even Shifu himself, it was all on Po. And that realization comes into fruition when Tai Lung finally gets his hands on The Dragon Scroll only to find out it’s literally nothing. All of that training and years of anticipation for the dragon scroll to find out it’s literally nothing. The main difference here is that Po is able to discover the inner meaning of himself with that reveal while Tai Lung is unable to. It’s because of that and more that Po is the one victorious in the end and Tai Lung ends up in skadoosh land.

There have been many different ways of telling the traditional chosen one narrative. There has been plenty of franchises out there that have done that and done it well. However, there isn’t one that I can recall that was able to tell it as fresh, unique, and most importantly, subversive as Kung Fu Panda. It’s like the filmmakers behind were fully aware of it’s absurd premise that audiences would judge too harshly on the surface. It’s like they wanted to use that sense of doubt from everyone to not only prove all the naysayers of the film wrong but literally have that be the main driving force of the film. And if the success of this film is anything to go by, I would say they succeeded spectacularly.

It’s that positive mindset of not doubting yourself that has led DreamWorks to the success with Kung Fu Panda. At the end of the day, when you set yourself out to achieve something, it’s only you that can accomplish it. There’s no secret weapon or trick to do it all, it’s just you. It’s only if you have the confidence to believe in yourself will you be able to accomplish your dreams when given the opportunity. Po was able to do that just well throughout the series and hopefully you can too with whatever you set out to be. Only then where you might just become your own version of the chosen one or The Dragon Warrior.

Next up in the marathon: Kung Fu Panda 2– How To Make The Perfect Villain

It’s Time For Sony To Give Spider-Man Back To Marvel

This Valentine’s Day saw the release of Madame Web, the newest comic book movie which despite being based off of a Marvel Comic character, was developed STRICTLY by Sony (I bring that up because there are surprisingly a large amount of people in the world that don’t realized this was NOT a movie made by Marvel Studios themselves). And just like with Sony’s previous attempt at doing a villain origin story that no one asked for in Morbius, Madame Web has been an absolute critical and (likely) commercial disaster. It’s immediately been regarded as one of the worst comic book movies ever made and will definitely being topping PLENTY of worst movies of the year list come December. And unlike that other trainwreck of a villain origin story that came out two years ago that I just mentioned, I don’t think the memes are going to be enough to save Madame Web‘s reputation, even if I did somewhat try to do so in my spoof review of it.

As if Madame Web is not enough of a lackluster superhero flick to come out this year from Sony, we also have Kraven the Hunter and Venom 3 slated to release later on this year. And if the track record of the last few villain led movies from Sony is anything to go by, I wouldn’t be surprised if they turn out just as bad if not worse. And with the recent funk that most comic book movies are in now, the last thing the sub-genre needs is not one, not two, but THREE terrible comic book movies to come out in the exact same year with the Marvel logo. And as I said at the beginning of the review, even though Marvel Studios are NOT the ones that are making these movies, there is actually a good portion of the population that believe otherwise and could potentially affect upcoming MCU installments such as Deadpool & Wolverine coming out in July.

Of course, the big question everyone is asking is why does Sony continue to make these movies that not only nobody is demanding for but I don’t think even they themselves want to make? Well, it’s basically a similar situation to what led to The Amazing Spider-Man duology being created, to keep the full film rights away from Marvel. Which wouldn’t necessarily be such a bad thing if that sense of obligation wasn’t felt when watching these movies but even if you have the biggest rose-colored glasses on, it’s near impossible to separate the studio politics when sitting through disasters such as The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Venom, Morbius, and Madame Web.

All of this and more is why I strongly believe that it’s time for Sony to return all film rights back to Marvel Studios. Not just the television rights they were forced to fork over when Disney bought Marvel but also the film rights and possibly any other rights to the character of Spider-Man. This isn’t strictly because of recent events with Madame Web but because of the poor treatment that the company has given the character for the past 15 plus years. If you don’t believe me, let’s take a trip down memory lane and go into why certain Spider-Man-related properties have suffered in quality because of Sony.

The first thing I’m sure plenty will point to has to why Sony should still be the father of Spider-Man is the success of the trilogy with Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire. The superhero trilogy that was arguably the most successful series of superhero movies until the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy came along. Yes, Spider-Man (2002) is notable for starting the 21st century dominance of superhero movies. Yes, Spider-Man 2 is still considered to be one of the greatest superhero movies ever made! However, what about Spider-Man 3, which in the day before memes, was considered to be one of the biggest letdowns in not just superhero movie history but possibly film history in general. Well, that’s where Sony comes in.

The main reason that Spider-Man 3 turned out to be the mess that it did was due to Sony forcing Sam Raimi to include Venom and other notable characters such as Gwen and Captain Stacy strictly because they were fan favorites throughout the webhead’s history. Raimi initially wanted to tackle the Vulture with Sandman and Harry as the new Goblin along with them but because the demands from the higher ups at Sony, most notably infamous producer Avi Arad, those plans were abandoned and he had to give up Vulture for Venom. Never mind the fact that Venom is basically a two-movie arc at best and the Stacys were never even hinted at existence in the previous movies of the Raimiverse. They were here because it’s what the fans want according to Sony. Instead of being patient and saving those potential storylines for a future sequel, Spider-Man 3 tried to please everyone and their mother at the same time with introducing so many different characters and plotlines that it was just a mess. Sure, some might enjoy that movie more than others (such as yours truly), but I think most people will agree that the movie would have been much better if one side just let one side do the movie they wanted instead of just trying to appease both sides at the same time.

Despite the negative reviews for Spider-Man 3, the strong box office numbers did encourage plans for a fourth installment. Sam Raimi was set to return as director along with Tobey Maguire and Kristen Dunst in their lead roles as Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson respectively. Raimi had stated many times he was not happy with the end results of Spider-Man 3 and wanted Spider-Man 4 to be the needed return to form and the very best one yet. Spider-Man 4 was planned to include Vulture, the villain initially wanted for Spider-Man 3, along with Black Cat. However, he went through many different scripts and revisions and disliked every single one of them. Then came January 2010, which the film was set to begin filming soon to make for a planned May 2011 release date. However, Raimi was still not satisfied with the script and asked Sony for more time on it. Sony refused and because of that, Raimi stepped down from the project and Spider-Man 4 was officially cancelled. Despite the fact that Sony could have afford to give Raimi one more year because they needed a Spider-Man film out by 2012 to keep the rights to the character and NOT by 2011, they let him go and decided it was time for a full reboot.

Strike one!

The 2012 reboot turned out to be The Amazing Spider-Man, directed by Marc Webb and starred Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. It was approached by Sony as a darker, lower-scaled reboot compared to the Sam Raimi trilogy, containing a larger focus on the teen drama/high-school dynamic aspects of the character. Despite getting solid reviews at the time of it’s release and was able to make 758 million dollars worldwide, it was not the notable success that Sony had wanted, most likely due to the film’s budget of 200 to 230 million dollars. Many believed that was largely due to having a good chunk of scenes that were notably cut out of the feature film, which includes about over half an hour of deleted scenes.

When it came to figuring out where to go next with the series after the first film, The Avengers had come out and it was a global smash worldwide, making it one of the most financially successful films of all time. Because of that, Sony decided that it would be best for them to try to create a cinematic universe of their own within the universe of The Amazing Spider-Man series. Of course, an Amazing Spider-Man 2 and 3 were greenlight but also were a 4th film, a Sinister Six spin-off, a Venom movie, a Black Cat and Silver Sable movie, and even an Aunt May movie (No, I’m not joking!). With such high plans being put in motion, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 had to be a success both commercially and financially.

Two years later, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 came out and it could have not gotten worse for Sony if they tried. Not only was it received with much worse reviews than the first one but it also made even less money than the first film, making barely above 700 million dollars worldwide. While making 700 million dollars should been seen as a success, it was not in the eyes of Sony, most notably because they promised their investors that the film would make at least a billion dollars.

If you look at what went wrong from behind the scenes, it’s easy to see why The Amazing Spider-Man 2 turned out the way they did. It was a movie that drew everything but the kitchen sink at it with so many different characters, subplots, and set ups for future films. There was even several deleted scenes that hinted at even more characters and subplots such as Mary Jane Watson played by Shailene Woodley, Felicia Hardy as Black Cat, Norman Osborn alive as a frozen head, and even Peter meeting his not-actually-dead father in person. It was a directional mess where no one in involved either had any idea with what they were doing or just didn’t care in general.

Because of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 underperforming, Sony didn’t know what to do next. It’s then that they were approached by Marvel Studios who wanted to include Spider-Man in one of their upcoming films, Captain America: Civil War. When giving the offer, Sony decided to give up on trying to make their own cinematic universe of Spidey and formed a partnership with Marvel Studios, which would once again reboot the character with a different actor that would be Tom Holland. If you are keeping track at home, that is now TWO different iterations of Spider-Man that Sony wrecked due to their own incompetence and constant interference of the productions of these films.

Strike two!

While everyone has their own opinion of the MCU version of Spider-Man, I think most folks would agree that teaming up with Marvel and giving up on their Amazing Spider-Man universe was the right call for Sony. This led to Spider-Man being feature in three different films of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home, and Spider-Man: No Way Home, the latter of which is one of the highest grossing films ever, along with notable appearances in the team-up Avengers movies such as Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War, and Avengers: Endgame. However, that didn’t necessarily stop Sony from trying to make Spider-Man related movies of their own.

Believe it or not, Sony actually committed to making at least one of the spin-off movies they were planning with The Amazing Spider-Man universe, which would turn out to be Venom released in 2018. And believe it or not, despite the bad reviews, it was a massive hit for mainstream audiences, grossing over 850 million dollars worldwide. It was the success of that film that motivated for Sony to do another try at their own cinematic universe but this time putting the spotlight on villains from Spider-Man’s rose gallery.

We got Venom: Let There Be Carnage in 2021 which was a decent hit at around 506 million dollars worldwide but definitely not as much as the first one made, then came Morbius which despite it being the most meme-worthy movie ever, got awful reviews and was a big bomb at the box office (even after it got re-released in theaters again due to the memes), and now there’s Madame Web which is set to do just as bad if not worse than Morbius, both critically and commercially. Now, that makes for three different iterations of Spider-Man related properties that Sony either screw up big time or drove it into the ground.

Strike three and you are out!

It’s also worth mentioning about the brief fallout between Sony and Marvel that happened right after Far From Home came out, which almost made No Way Home not happen in it’s current form. It was believed it was largely to do with Sony and Disney having differences on the amount of profit for upcoming Spider-Man films set within the MCU. It’s also believed that Sony was about to take back the character of Spider-Man himself until Tom Holland called up Bob Iger while drunk, pleading for him and Marvel to work out a deal with Sony to keep Spider-Man in the MCU. It’s unknown whether it’s Sony or Marvel that’s the true bad guy here, the fact that Sony almost lost ANOTHER version of Spider-Man would not have been a good sign on their part.

When you really get back onto to the major problems with Spider-Man medium since 2007, all of that can be traced back to Sony. From forcing Sam Raimi to include characters he didn’t want to in Spider-Man 3, to micromanaging the hell out of The Amazing Spider-Man movies with no real road map or goal in mind, to constantly making these pointless villain origin stories in the hopes it would connect to some version of Spider-Man later on down the road, Sony has had a real problem with the web head for quite a period of time. Sure, we have had Spider-Man (2002), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and the Marvel’s Spider-Man video game series but all of those were clearly done in SPITE of Sony and not because of them.

And even if you want to include those mediums I just mentioned, I could also talk about how Sony basically rushed Insomniac to get Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 out by 2023 when they wanted to push it back to this year to add more polish and features to the game, which likely cost the GOTY awards for that game. Or about how Phil Lord and Chris Miller had to constantly rewrite the script for Across the Spider-Verse due to Sony’s constant interference on the production. Or how they are now butting heads with Marvel Studios for Spider-Man 4 because they would rather chase the success train of No Way Home by doing another multiverse movie instead of taking things down to the street-fighting levels that most fans want and build to another one later on down the road. If anything, the fact that any of those things turned out to be any good at all is simply a miracle.

And with the release of Madame Web that is set to crash and bomb at the box office, I think it’s time more than ever for Sony to give up all of their rights to Spider-Man and return them to Marvel. Aside from Spider-Man: Beyond the Spider-Verse, Marvel’s Spider-Man 3 game, and MCU’s Spider-Man 4, there is nothing they have coming up that looks even remotely promising under their control, just with the partnership with other studios. Kraven the Hunter looks like another generic by-the-numbers villain origin film, Venom 3 will likely inherit the same problems of it’s predecessors and rely strictly on Tom Hardy’s star power to save the day, and who knows if those reported Miles Morales film, Spider-Women Spider-Verse film, and that Silk series will ever see the light of day. These all could be promising projects but I trust Sony to handle them well about as far as I can throw them.

Say what you will about the current state of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but you can’t seriously tell me that they would do any worse with the full Spider-Man property than what Sony is doing right now with their villain-led cinematic universe. There’s no sign of passion or love from any off these movies coming from the cast and crew, only obligation and corporation. Just look at the press tour of Madame Web and how it’s cast and crew is openly throwing shade at the movie which they are a part off. I think even they know they made a mistake signing up because of Sony likely promising them something they never really meant.

Have there been great content under Sony’s license of Spider-Man? Absolutely! But with the current situation going on between them, Marvel, and the state of superhero movies in general, they can no longer be trusted with handling Spider-Man. They have have countless time to prove they can do Spider-Man related stories without Marvel or anyone else but they have failed spectacularly. The fact that they didn’t greenlight an Amazing Spider-Man 3 with Andrew Garfield and/or a Spider-Man 4 with Tobey Maguire after No Way Home but instead greenlighted Madame Webb and Kraven the Hunter is really all you need to know about the way they run things over there. Even they don’t know what they want for Spider-Man anymore.

Because of all that I’ve just mentioned and more, I think I speak for a large majority of Spider-Man fans out there by saying that it’s time for Spider-Man to come fully home to Marvel at long last.

Madame Web (2024) Movie Review- A Madame Webbing Time

Here we go again, ladies and gentlemen! Time for another installment in the HOTTEST cinematic universe going on at the movie, the S(cam)ony Villain Cinematic Universe! It started off with a BANG with the turd in the wind that was Venom, followed with Venom: Let There Be Carnage which lived up to the promise of the post credits where Woody Harrleson said, “When I get out of here and I will, there’s gonna be CARNAGE!!!!“, and then came Morbius which offered one absolutely MORBIN TIME that had audiences stand and cheer in the theaters all around the world. Finally, we have Madame Web and as it’s title suggests, it’s the ultimate MADAME WEBBING EXPEREINCE!

Sure, the plot itself might be relatively non-existent, relying on the most unlikely coincidences, multiple continuity errors, bizarre contrivances, and absolute defiance of actual logic imaginable. Sure, it might contain some of the sloppiest and incoherent editing that you will likely see all year. Sure, the action might be very poor, with a climax that is so tense that you can’t even see what the f*ck is happening onscreen. Sure, it has a talented cast that could not look more embarrassed to be there and have been crapping all over this movie throughout their entire press tour. Sure, it feels like a superhero movie that came out in 2003 (which is the actual year which this movie is set in). And sure, the biggest line of the trailer, “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died,” isn’t even in the damn movie at all. However, there is no other movie out there that is will give you a more MADAME WEBBING experience than this MADAME WEBBING masterwork!

I would go into the plot itself but considering the fact that it’s basically the plot of every Final Destination movie every and about every “chase” movie imaginable, it’s relatively pointless too. However, the big important thing here is the way that Madame Web MASTERFULLY ties into Sony’s Cinematic Universe. First off, it answers the two BIGGEST questions that EVERYONE has always had about Spider-Man! 1.) What was Uncle Ben doing in his years as a hot paramedic? and 2.) What happened the night that Peter Parker’s mother Mary, gave birth to him? I know that I was always wanting the answer to those questions and thankfully, the film answers that in a way that is so dumb that it’s secretly brilliant. The LAYERS this film has are just something else!

We of course have to get into the four leading women carrying the picture! They could not have had more perfect chemistry if they even tried. Even though the ways they are connected with each other is probably some of the biggest coincidences I’ve ever seen in an motion picture with relationship dynamics that make little to no sense (Mattie is angry as Anya for literally no reason throughout the entire movie!), it’s something so refreshing to see so many women leading a superhero flick! Sure, The Marvels was….okay I guess but Madame Web is really how a female-lead superhero film is suppose to be! You just let them work out their girl powers (No pun intended!) and let them kick ass in ways that are incoherent and hard to follow on screen. And unlike The Marvels which was a huge bomb, Madame Web is for sure set to make MADAME WEBBING DOLLARS!

And unlike say that woke Suicide Squad game that made me not want to wank off to Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman, Madame Web actually lets the ladies show off a little screen. With their nice hair, skin tight outfits, and absurd amount of make up that makes them look like models (despite them all suppose to be teenage girls that are really played by girls in their 20s), this is definitely a female-led movie that’s made for guys. After all, women in superhero media aren’t suppose to be their own fleshed out characters who have their own goals, personalities, and superpowers, they only exist to be in interest of men and men alone. Let women have Barbie! Way to know your audience, Sony!

Of course, this is all Dakota Johnson’s movie as it’s suppose to be considering well..it is a Madame Web movie that tells the origin story of Madame Web. I will warn you though, it’s an INCREDIBLY slow burn where nothing much happens and you’ll likely find yourself as half awake that Dakota Johnson looks in the entire movie. You get every single detail about Cassie Webb in her early days as a hot paramedic, right down to spending time with her cat and how she absurdly got her powers. Although, it doesn’t revolve around the Amazon with her mom when she was researching spiders right before she died, it does take it’s time to show off the same superpower over and over and over again because the writers can’t seem to think of any other clever way to show off her powers. It does require your patience but I promise you the whole ten seconds of her in that ICONIC red suit at the VERY end of the movie is all worth it.

And speaking of which, this movie does SUCH a good job as fleshing out these female characters that you don’t even notice that they aren’t even in their Spider-Women costumes for 99.999999% of the movie. From my estimate, the ladies have about as much screentime in their superHERoine outfits as Taylor Swift did in the Super Bowl, which was a mere 54 seconds btw. Even though the whole purpose of a superHERoine origin story is seeing them turn into a superHERoine at least by the half way point, this cleverly keeps it as minimum as possible, leaving the audience want more from the future. After all, as the good old saying goes, LESS is MORE! And you could have not done MORE with LESS than with this movie.

A big credit has to go to writing duo of Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless. Coming high off their MORBIN masterpiece that was Morbius, they somehow are able to top themselves here! They manage to come up with a script that feels like the most sloppy first copy of a draft imaginable, almost like the equivalent of writing things on the fly, and have it feel as disjointed of a film that I’ve ever seen. It’s GENIUS writing if I’ve ever seen one! This is the kind of duo that should be an inspiration to screenwriters everywhere! Because now you know you can have a script that has no coherent storyline or consistent character motivations in order to get a movie made!

We also have to get credit to S.J. Clarkson, making her directional film debut. Sure, she might have directed some okay episodes of Jessica Jones and The Defenders but she REALLY brought her A-game here. That might have to do with the fact that the film at large feels like a two-hour pilot for a television series that will likely NEVER see the light of day. With the way the low 80 million dollar budget is painfully on screen, how it has so many forced tie-ins at such a brisk pace, and how by the end, it leaves plenty of plot elements up in the air for future entries to continue upon, she could not have been a better choice for Sony. She was able to make a film that stood strictly on it’s own that it didn’t even need a post credit scene to justify it’s existence. Take notes, Disney and Marvel!

The cinematography is stunning with so much visual imagery that dives deeply into Cassie’s self conscious and her powers, the editing feels incredibly ADHD and feels more like it was edited by folks who do trailers rather than movies, the action is all over the place and sloppy like it’s main characters are, and the score is so one note you could swear that Johan Söderqvist was half awake the entire time composing it. And unlike other superhero flicks, it actually spares most of the CGI and saves it for it’s intense climax, with effects that look about as fake and green screen than any movie that I’ve seen in quite some time. An absolute A effort for everyone involved.

In conclusion, Madame Web truly lives up to it’s title and makes for a Madame Webbing time at the theaters. It’s so astonishing that it leaves me anxious to see where this ill-fated and not thought out at all cinematic universe is going. More importantly, which Spider-Man universe is this suppose to connect in? It was suppose to be Andrew Garfield but no one liked that whiny brat in the Amazing Spider-Man movies so pass. It was suppose to be Tom Holland until Sony realized that would make NO logical sense for this to take place in the MCU, so much so that they had to rewrite the entire script while shooting. And with the way Peter Parker is born in this movie, it leaves the room for ANOTHER Spider-Man to join this universe in the future.

Even so, we got Kick-Ass/the inferior Quicksilver coming up as Kraven the Hunter in August and Bane/Mad Max in Venom 3 coming out in October. There’s PLENTY of content we have left to get through before the inevitable Sinister Six movie happens and Sony makes up their mind on whatever Spider-Man they want to join this universe. With this cinematic universe clearly not slowing down any time soon, I think Marvel Studios and DC should be taking notes here. This is how you do a cinematic universe!

Madame Webbing Web made for one Madame Webbing time and I can’t wait to see this film madame webbing again.

This is an easy four out of stars for me! Move over Dune Part II and Deadpool III, THIS is the movie of 2024!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! Especially you, Sony! Keep up the madame webbing work!

Thanks for checking out my review! I sure hope it was as sloppy and all over the place as this entire film was!

Real thoughts:

This movie is undoubtedly the most fascinating mess of a movie that I’ve seen in quite some time, feeling more like a POC than an actual feature film. It’s certainly more competently made than say….Morbius but it feels as ever bit as much of an obligation to make as that. I might have to make a piece on this soon but after Beyond the Spider-Verse, Sony really needs to give the film rights of Spider-Man back to Marvel. These villain movies are becoming more and more nonsensical by the day. It’s clear that audiences don’t want to see them as much as Sony doesn’t want to make them! So, stop doing it, please!

Maybe a one and a half out of four stars if I’m being generous.

Probably will change it to one out of four stars once I sleep on it though!

Also, this is still the GOAT Madame Web btw!

Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day!

Night Swim (2024) Early Movie Review- A January Horror Movie At It’s Finest

It’s become cliche to say that a movie released in January sucks. After all, January is pretty much considering the dumpster month of movies. A time where the kids are back in school and the awards contenders are able to hit that end of the year deadline in some areas to qualify for the Oscars. However, in recent memory, there has been a solid number of released films released around this time that were actually not bad or had at least some version of quality. 2016 had Kung Fu Panda 3. 2017 had Split. 2018 (at least in America) had Paddington 2. 2020 (before the pandemic) had Bad Boys For Life. 2022 had Scream. And just last year, 2023 had M3GAN. None of these films were necessarily masterpieces (except for Paddington 2) but they did at least start their respective year on a decent enough note that got folks interested to see what the rest of the year had in stores. If there is a January movie in 2024 that would do exactly that, it’s CERTAINLY not going to be Night Swim. Despite Blumhouse being able to surprise folks with M3GAN last year, they can not make that same lighting strike twice here.

Premise: Forced into early retirement by a degenerative illness, former baseball player Ray Waller (Wyatt Russell) moves into a new house with his wife (Kerry Condon) and two children (Gavin Warren, Amelie Hoeferle). He hopes that the backyard swimming pool will be fun for the kids and provide physical therapy for himself. However, a dark secret from the home’s past soon unleashes a malevolent force that drags the family into the depths of inescapable terror.

The most blatant problem with Night Swim is how it can’t seem to figure out what kind of film it wants to commit the most too. You would believe based off the premise of a pool monster who preys on those that dare take a late night swim would put the majority of the focus on building tension and creating inventive scares that will get under your skin during and after the movie ends. However, it also wants to be a deep thematic movie about learning to accept a new stage in your life when you can no longer go back to the prior one and the overall meaning of sacrifice for the ones you love. Night Swim tries to do both stories at the same time but it’s done in the most half baked way imaginable.

The overall lore and mythology of who exactly this pool demon is are painfully underdeveloped. It’s never clear as to who this monster is, why it does what it does, or even how it’s been allowed to thrive in this pool for so long. Even when we get to the part where the original victim of this monster dive into the backstory of their prior encounter with the demon, it just makes thing even more complicated and confusing than it already is. It seems like it wants that pool to come across as some sort of drug, where the father and son become too addicted to it to the point where they are starting to lose who they are, but it’s never clear as to why it’s suppose to help those that swim into the pool. At best, it might heal Ray Waller of his disease sooner rather than later so he can go back to playing baseball but even then, aside from one scene where they go to the hospital for checks, that never gets addressed again and the movie goes on to the next nonsensical thing. It’s not a good thing when the first thing I ask myself when the movie was over is like, “Why don’t the family just NOT swim in the pool?!” There, problem solved!

The human drama with Ray and his disease is probably the most engaging subplot but it honestly feels like it should have made for it’s own movie rather than this one. A story about Ray having to choose to embrace his new life fighting this new disease only with his family or working his way through his illness to become a ball player could make for an interesting flick but not for a horror one. It’s the two conflicting tones of wanting to be a human drama and an intense horror thriller that makes Night Swim feels at odds with itself. This is all the more apparent in the final reel which the main character makes a move that’s suppose to tie into the overall theme the movie has been flirting with throughout the runtime but because of the other things it had to focus on, it comes across as anti-climatic and (the more that you think about it) incredibly stupid. It should have decided if it wanted to be a personal character driven drama or a straight up scary flick, not both at the same time.

When it comes to the scares themselves, some of them are decent but there is nothing here that will make your skin crawl shortly after the film ends. Most of it only works when it happens in the moment and there’s no creative visual imagery that will be living in your head rent free. The rest of the scares are poorly shot, lighted, and edited where I could barely see what was happening on screen. The perfect example are the scenes towards the end where the mother and son goes into the pool to confront the demon and it felt like the filmmakers had the desire to hid as much as possible for whatever reason. I don’t know if it had to do with the lack of a big budget, the proper rating, or that the director doesn’t have much major film experience but for those coming for the scares, you will likely feel ripped off as well.

Acting wise, while far from the worst performances you will see in an January movie, there’s nothing that stands out from the cast. Wyatt Russell is the most entertaining one here but feels too comedic for this role, almost feeling like he would fit better in a Jordan Peele horror movie rather than this one. Even during the scenes where he supposedly turns evil, it’s hard to buy his sudden turn because of him keeping that same form of charisma that he did in his good form. The rest of the performances from the cast are passable at best but nothing to write home about, giving that exact feeling of only being in it for a quick paycheck.

Night Swim is a perfect example of why horror movies or movies in general released in January get a bad rep. It’s a confused mess that has no idea what kind of film it wants to be. The tone is all over the place, the scares aren’t effective, the lore and mythology surrounding the monster and haunted pool don’t add up, and the ending the more I think on it might just be one of the dumbest endings to a film in recent memory. It might be technically “watchable” and might find an audience for those that have a soft spot for these trashy January horror flicks but it’s definitely not something I can recommend you should go out of your way to see. If anything, you are better off just watching the short film that this is based off of. I may not have seen it myself but I’m willing to bet it’s better than whatever the feature film was.

Move over Bambino and Billy Goat, the newest baseball related curse has arrived in the form of Night Swim!

Most Anticipated Movies of 2024

2023 is now officially over which mean it’s now time to roll into 2024! And what better way to kick off the early part of January then to share what new films I’m looking forward to the most in 2014.

I’ll be straight up honest with you, there’s not very many films that I’m over the moon excited to see this year. If anything, there’s not so much movies I’m excited for and more movies that I’m CURIOUS for. When viewing the 2024 movie release slate as a whole, you can definitely tell it’s been largely affected by the multiple strikes that took place throughout the course of 2023, causing many film releases to be paused or delayed entirely. Because of that there’s so many films set to come out this year as we speak that we literally know NOTHING about. Perhaps there will be smaller films under my radar or even brand new big films that I have ZERO excitement for will win me over but for now, I’m going into 2024 with pretty pedestrian expectations for what it will bring us in terms of films.

That being said, I still do have ten movies this year that I do have interest in and more likely will check them out around the time that they release.

FYI, I will NOT be including Dune: Part Two on this list because that was already on last year’s list. Considering that only got move backed due to the writers strike along with the fact that was on my list from last year, I don’t need to remind you again that I am legit excited for that movie.

First off, I have a five honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

  • Argylle

We see Matthew Vaughn returning to the spy action genre once again with a stacked cast and an original premise that will hopefully bring a good spin on the genre as we know it. Hopefully, Vaughn is able to recapture that lightning in a bottle he did with Kingsman: The Secret Service and avoid the trappings that brought down Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

  • Ballerina

With The Continental acting as the first spin-off series in the John Wick universe, Ballerina will act as the first spin-off film set in the John Wick universe, taking place between Chapter Two and Three. It will star Ana De Armas as a ballerina named Rooney, a character from Chapter 3 but has been recast, seeking revenge by hunting down the murder of her family. If done well, this has potential to expand upon the John Wick franchise in interesting ways, even without it’s titled main character. And if you saw her brief cameo in No Time To Die, you would know that Ms. Armas is more than capable of handling an action role.

  • Borderlands

After returning to his roots last year with Thanksgiving, Eli Roth is taking his next step a year later with the newest video game film adaption in Borderlands. Even with the increase in quality over the years, video game adaptions are still something to be very cautious over. Even so, there’s a lot of notable names in the cast here with Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, and Jamie Lee Curtis and Eli Roth is the master at making over-the-top bloody gore fests. With the correct rating, this could at worst be a relatively fun time and make for perhaps the goriest video game movie we’ve ever seen!

  • Joker: Folie à Deux

This is one that I’m more CURIOUS about than EXCITED. Even as someone that enjoyed the first Joker but wasn’t jumping off the roof over it, I don’t think it was a film that warranted a sequel. But because the first one made a billion dollars, we see Todd Phillips returning for a follow-up which will see the origin of Harley Quinn played by Lady Gaga and is said to have a more “musical” vibe to it. I have no clue if this will work or not but no doubt I will be there day one to see how this whole thing will play out. This is a bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off!

  • Nosferatu

More than just his cameos in Spongebob Squarepants, Nosfreatu will be a modern remake of the 1922 original starring Bill Skarsgard himself with Robert Eggers (The Lighthouse, The Northman) taking directing duties. Eggers has been a director that has just entered my radar and I’m profoundly interested to see if he can pull off a high quality remake of a film that is now over 100 years old.

Now, here we go with the main top three!

10.) The Fall Guy

The summer movie season of 2024 is not kicking off with yet another Marvel superhero movie but with a fresh action thriller with The Fall Guy, acting as an adaption of the 1980s tv series. We get to see Ryan Gosling acting as a daredevil stuntman that becomes a reluctant investigator to save his ex-girlfriend’s film. David Leitch has easily grown accustomed to the action genre with his work on John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Hobbs & Shaw, and Bullet Train and he looks to continue that even further with The Fall Guy. Even if it’s technically not an “original” film, this looks like it will be a nice change of pace for summer blockbusters and shown it’s more than just an overreliance on superhero or franchise installments.

9.) Kung Fu Panda 4

There are plenty of reasons to be skeptical about a Kung Fu Panda 4. It’s rare to see three straight franchise films in a row to be as consistently good as they are (even if Kung Fu Panda 3 was a step down from the first two) and it’s even rarer for a fourth film to top or even match that level of quality. However, if there’s one thing you should learn by now when it comes to Kung Fu Panda, it’s to NEVER judge a book by it’s cover. Here we will see Po accepting his new role as the Spiritual Leader of the Valley of Peace while passing on the role of the Dragon Warrior to someone else. With a new set of characters such as Zhen (Awkwafina), Han (Ke Huy Quan), and the brand new antagonist the Chameleon (Viola Davis) along with old familiar foes set to return such as Tai Lung (Ian McShane), Kung Fu Panda 4 looks to act as a culmination of the entire Kung Fu Panda series up to this point. Just please make sure the Furious Five come back in some way, shape, or form!

8.) Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Maybe this is recent bias, but after being on cloud nine with Godzilla: Minus One, I can’t help but be more excited for some more action with the King of Monsters. This looks set to be a rematch between Godzilla and King Kong himself, with the two facing a new global threat that will challenge their very existence and the survival of the human race. Based off the marketing and trailers we’ve seen thus far, Adam Wingard seems dead set on promising a gorgeous, action-packed spectacle featuring the two titled characters that everyone is looking to see along with perhaps something more than that. While it will be hard to top Minus One, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is certain to be a genuine crowd pleaser that will be able to expand the brand of these two beloved monsters, allowing their legacies to expand even further.

7.) A Quiet Place: Day One

After two excellent entries in this latest horror franchise, A Quiet Place: Day One will act as a spin-off prequel, showcasing the earlier days of when the worldlike apocalypse in this universe occurred that whipped off the majority of the human population. With Michael Sarnoski taking over for directing duties over John Krasinski, he will look to provide new and inventive ways to deliver clever scares and unique set pieces along with expanding upon the mythology of this franchise even further. I never would have guessed a horror series that has quite a paper-thin premise on paper could get me excited for multiple entries but if they can keep delivering films that are this well made, acted, and engaging, then I will happily take more of them.

6.) Inside Out 2

There is a strong argument to be made that the original Inside Out was objectively the very best Pixar film ever made. It was an animated film that did everything it could with it’s special premise and delivered a stellar motion picture about emotions and feelings and the importance of every notable one of them. With the first film tackling the days of little Riley as a young girl, the second film looks to take a step even further and show Riley going through her days as a teenager. With the new emotion of anxiety and a few others entering this film, we are likely to get a deep dive into the mindset of a young teenage girl going through her own personal struggles. As much as people have been overly critical with the amount of sequels that Pixar has developed over the years, Inside Out 2 is one that has more than enough material on paper to justify it’s existence. If they can make this work, I’ll take more sequels as there is plenty of stories to tell with the entire concept of these movies.

5.) Mickey 17

This is not necessarily one that I know most about or what the actual title of Mickey 17 is suppose to mean. However, there’s one name attached to this project that’s more than enough to me excited for this film to come out. That being no other than the director of Bong Joon-ho. Acting as a follow-up to his Oscar-winning masterpiece of Parasite (*insert angry incel anti-woke fanboy*), Mickey 17 will act as an adaption based off the 2022 novel Mickey 7 and will star the current Batman himself in Robert Pattinson. Would Mickey 17 be this high on the list or even on the list at well if it weren’t for the cast and crew behind this? Probably not. But sometimes, that is more than enough to convince you that it will be worth checking out or at least be a worthwhile quality piece of art.

4.) Deadpool 3

Acting as the only cinematic entry to be released in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Deadpool 3 will be looking to add the humor, charm, and violence that made the first two movies so good and be able to deliver them in new, satisfying ways. With Hugh Jackman coming out of retirement as Wolverine (in the classic Wolverine suit at long LAST) along with potential other well-known X-Men characters joining the party with longtime actors reprising their roles, I wouldn’t be surprised if Deadpool 3 ends up being to Deadpool what No Way Home was to Spider-Man in acting as a celebration of prior Marvel movies. If done well, this can serve as a delicious appetizer and gets everyone excited for the next main course that will be the upcoming Avengers movies, most notably Secret Wars. Oh, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Taylor Swift have a role in some way. After all, you gotta get that few extra bucks from the Swifties.

3.) Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Approaching the 10 year anniversary of the action movie masterwork that was Mad Max: Fury Road (can’t believe it’s ALREADY been nine years), George Miller returns once again to this post-apocalyptic world which he helped created but with a prequel that puts the spotlight on the latest action heroine icon from Fury Road in Imperator Furiosa, played this time around by Anya Taylor Joy. With this being reported to be in the works for several years now, this is clearly a passion project for Miller himself and wants to give everything he has to do it. While it does look more CGI-ish compared to Fury Road, if Furiosa is able to at least capture a quarter of the magic that 2015 game changer did with it’s stunts, action, visual storytelling, and emotional depth, then it may just continue the Mad Max franchise even further, with hope that the long in development installment, Mad Max: The Wasteland, might see the light of day. Even so, I’m just at least happy to be able to spend more time in this universe.

2.) Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

In an age where most newest installments in long-running franchises are uneven and inconsistent in terms of quality, who would’ve guess that it’s the recent run of Planet of the Apes movies that is ahead of the curve in that regard. Coming off a hugely successful three-movie run with Rupert Wyatt and Matt Reeves that told the complete story of Caesar, the baton has been passed to Wes Ball for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Set 300 years after the events of War for the Planet of the Apes, ape civilizations have emerged higher than ever while the human population is now at it’s absolute lowest, with the focus now on a young ape named Noa and a young human girl named Mae. If the quality of the first three rebooted ape movies is anything to go by, I would expect Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is to be yet another amazing accomplishment with motion capture and visual storytelling along with getting one step closer to the events of the original 1968 Planet of the Apes where it’s completely ape dominated. Between this and Furiosa, Memorial Day weekend is sure to be one strong weekend for films.

1.) Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Do I expect this to be the best movie of 2024? No! Is there a strong chance that this will likely be the worst of the anticipated films I’ve mentioned? Yes! But at the same time, I can’t help but have my mind set on Sonic the Hedgehog 3 more than any other upcoming movie this year. Maybe it’s due to the fact that the prior two Sonic the Hedgehog movies were honestly more or less the Sonic movies I’ve always dreamed off as a kid but Sonic 3 has a chance to not just set a new standard for video game movies but possibly make Sonic popular than he ever has been before. With it set to introduce fan-favorite character Shadow the Hedgehog, possible well known Sonic characters such as Amy Rose and Rouge the Bat might get thrown into the mix, seeing how the Sonic lore is more expanded upon, and even just seeing how the main trio grow as characters, Sonic 3 just seems set to be an absolute blast for Sonic fans, video game fans, and everyday moviegoers alike. We might not know the exact plot synopsis quite yet or even who is going to be cast as Shadow the Hedgehog. However, the build up and anticipation to it’s holiday release of Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is what I’m looking forward to the most throughout the majority of 2024. I don’t expect this to win an Oscar or even be my absolute favorite of the year, but the inner child in me is what make Sonic the Hedgehog 3 my most anticipated film of the year!

As for other big movies coming out this year:

  • I saw Night Swim early. It kinda stinks and is pretty much the exact definition of a January horror movie. Don’t expect another pleasant surprise like M3GAN from it.
  • There’s another Mean Girls coming out that acts as more of a musical than an actual remake. Hopefully, it’s not another Mean Girls 2.
  • Madame Web seems set to be a Madame Webbing time (Did I do that right?).
  • Love Lies Bleeding looks like it will be every Sapphics wet dream.
  • Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire was another holdover from 2023 but from the trailers, it looks like yet another reminder about how Hollywood has completely forgot what made Ghostbusters special.
  • Rebel Moon: Part Two might fix the flaws of Part One but either Netflix needs to learn how to properly release their feature films or Zack Snyder needs to learn how to release a proper film in it’s actual cut released for theaters and streaming.
  • There’s a new Universal monster movie set to star Melissa Barrera, the actress who just got fired from Scream due to voicing her support from Palestine. That alone is enough for me to show my support!
  • Alex Garland’s Civil War seems set to be the most controversial film of 2024 in both the best and worst ways possible. Just please let this be closer in quality to Ex Machina and Annihilation and NOT Men.
  • There’s another Strangers film coming with The Strangers: Chapter 1 for fans of that series. I’m not really one of them.
  • An animated Garfield film is also coming on Memorial Day alongside Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes and Furiosa. It looks cute but why does Chris Pratt got to be in every animated movie nowadays?
  • Bad Boys 4 might still be a thing this year, assuming the whole world has gotten covered Will Smith’s Oscar slap.
  • Despicable Me 4 is happening because….I guess the kids still love minions.
  • Twisters is an upcoming disaster film with the director of Minari. That could be good.
  • M. Night Shyamalan has another movie set with Trap. And even his daughter has a new movie as well. Let’s see how those turn out!
  • Horizon: An American Saga is getting Chapters 1 and 2 in the same year directed by Kevin Costner no less. Could be interesting!
  • Alien, Lord of the Rings, and The Karate Kid are getting new films this year believe it or not but we literally know NOTHING about them whatsoever.
  • Gladiator and Beetlejuice are getting sequels….for some reason.
  • Kraven the Hunter movie is still a thing….for some reason. Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 game pretty much already has that beat by a mile.
  • Transformers One could be yet another surprisingly enjoyable or just okay Transformers movie that will likely underperform at the box office because the world is still recovering from Bayformers or even misses it.
  • Wolfs is the next film from prior Spider-Man director, Jon Watts. We’ll see how that goes.
  • Saw XI and Smile 2 are coming because of how successful the last Saw and first Smile was.
  • Venom 3 will likely be another film which will help Sony continue to destroy the last remaining will that superhero movies still have. At least Tom Hardy will still be run, right?
  • Red One is an upcoming Christmas adventure with The Rock and Chris Evans because….of course.
  • Wicked: Part One will be a newest musical fantasy adaption that I may check out if the reviews are good enough.
  • And of course, Disney is releasing Mufasa: The Lion King, which will likely be another bad or underwhelming Disney live-action remake that pales in comparison to the original. Barry Jenkins is WAY too talented of a director for this!

Is The Theatrical Experience Dead?

There was a time when you went to cinema to see the next big blockbuster, it didn’t just feel like you were in for a new movie, it felt like you were in for a new experience. Whether you loved the movie or hated it, there was a magical feeling of being in the cinema for the next big movie with a sold out crowd on opening night or weekend. I will never forget the experience of watching Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame on the very first night with the crowd being on cloud nine the whole way through. To experience all the laughs, cheers, excitement, and even tears to come from the crowd was something truly special and will always be a lasting memory for me! However, as we approach the end of 2023 and see where cinema is in it’s current state, there is a strong argument to be made about how the magic of watching films in cinema is long gone.

To say that 2023 has been a brutal year for Hollywood and cinema would be an understatement. Not only with the handful of strikes that have gone on for the majority of the year but the way that new franchise installments have underperformed vastly and bombed spectacularly at the box office. It’s not only in terms of flicks involving Disney and superheroes like the media has made it out to be but almost every notable franchise out there minus a few exceptions. And it’s not only one or two specific reasons that stand out for these movies tanking but there are MULTIPLE factors here. Multiple factors that honestly has been years in the making!

Because of that, let’s go over ever single logical factor here! Every single concrete reason as to why cinema is in the state that is in right now and why major changes need to happening if cinema will continue to evolve in the comfort of movie theaters everywhere!

The Covid-19 Pandemic

The Covid-19 pandemic changed the lives of every single life form on planet Earth. A worldwide plague that forced everyone to quarantine for the majority of 2020 along with parts of 2021 and 2022. Because of that, entertainment around the world was put on hold. Theaters were closed, films were delayed, and productions of basically all forms of entertainment were put on hold. Coming right after a massive year of the box office in 2019, where there were NINE films that grossed over a billion dollars worldwide (SEVEN of them disturbed by Disney), this could not have occurred at a worse time for Hollywood.

This led to many of the big movies that were to come out in 2020 and 2021 being sent to streaming with some occasional theater showings for some of them. With over half the theaters around the country being closed and streaming services being more popular than ever, of course most chose to stay at home and watching the upcoming movies on streaming services. However, that line of thinking of just waiting to watch movies in the comfort of your own homes has clearly played an impact on the way movie goers chose to watch films in the 2020s.

With a handful of exceptions, most new franchise installments that always tended to make a guarantee profit have underperformed or bombed in this post-Covid timeline. A large reason for that has to do with the fact that most audiences would rather wait for new movies to be able for digital or streaming services then shelling a few extras bucks on concessions and theater seats when new movies come out in cinema. The theatrical experiences for most big movies nowadays is just not worth it in the eyes of the consumer.

Strikes-a-palooza

2023 was a year that was litter with strikes going on in Hollywood, with some that either is still happening or most likely to happen soon. You have the writers strike that lasted for nearly five months, you have the actors strike that lasted for four months, there’s a strike going on at the moment with the VFX artists from Disney and Marvel, and if reports are to believe, you can bet that a strike within the gaming and animation industry is likely to occur sooner rather than later.

The strikes involving the writers and actors caused a halt in production of films along with the promotion and marketing of upcoming films being practically non-existent. This caused films like Dune: Part Two to be delayed and films that have been released during it such as The Marvels to suffer severely at the box office. While we might not have felt the direct impact of upcoming films in production that were halted because of the strike, we will certainly feel it in the next two to three years. Just as we all felt the impact of the previous writers strike with films that came out in 2009 or 2010. If the impact wave of Covid is about over, a brand new wave involving all the strikes is about to come. Surfs up!

Too Many Mid-icore Movies

While the other two reasons mentioned is a great argument of the amount of money studios spend on their movies and the amount of moment audience will spend to watch them, maybe the big reason as to do with the actual quality of the motion picture. Maybe it has to do with audience no longer wearing their rose-colored glasses and seeing how it’s become quantity over quality for a lot of franchises right there. Movies that just exist for the sake of existing and not because it’s something the audience actually want to see.

That would explain greatly how films like Barbie, Oppenheimer, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse have been the most notable successes at box office in 2023. Not just because they were names from a familiar brand but because of the strong impact they had on mainstream audiences which led to repeat theater viewings and strong worth of mouth. While not quite the most successful films of all time, it was able to exceed expectations, and possibly even surpass them due to how good those movies actually were. The same thing can’t be said about the other big movies that came out in 2023.

Fast X was seen as more of the same, over-the-top nonsense that has become accustomed to this franchise at this point. Transformers: Rise of the Beasts was seen as a passable if not disposable entry for a franchise that is still dealing with the aftermath of the overblown Bayformers flicks. The Flash was seen as a ugly CGI mess made solely for course correcting and the hope that having Michael Keaton back as Batman along with Sasha Calle’s Supergirl would be enough to overcome any shortcomings. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny was seen as an unnecessary and forgettable finale to a series that already had two definite finales beforehand. The Marvels, Shazam: Fury of the Gods, and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom might have been considered “good enough” when superhero movies still felt like events but not in the year 2023. And Wish was seen as lackluster of an 100th year anniversary film for Disney that you could possibly imagine. While two or three of these might be enough to guarantee a solid three out of four stars ratings, they all did not receive the best reviews or the strongest word of mouth to make any of these worth buying a ticket for. Because of that, they were not able to make their money back or break even.

Even Good Movies Are Bombing

I’m sure most of you reading this thinks that the easy solution would be just to make better films and more people will be more eager to see them in theaters. While there have definitely been films this year that have accomplished just that, there have been other notable critically successful films that suffered at the box office regardless of it’s high quality.

These include the likes of Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning- Part 1, Blue Beetle, and Killers of the Flower Moon. All four of these films were ones that gained mostly very good reviews from critics and received a certified fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes but still lost money. While plenty will argue it had to do with awkward release dates or going ridiculously overbudget, it still doesn’t change the fact that these were all very good films in the eyes of critics and folks that went to see them but still underperformed or flopped at the box office.

This just goes to show you that even films that are well-acclaimed are not guarantee to be box office hits either. Sometimes a movie bombing has nothing to do with it’s overall quality, it’s that audience didn’t have the interest or knowledge of it’s existence to check them out while it was playing in theaters. There are plenty of good to great films in recent memory in the past that have been guilty of that: Dredd, Edge of Tomorrow, The Nice Guys, Blade Runner 2049, Annihilation, and Doctor Sleep just to name a few. While I’m sure all four of the 2023 films mentioned will find or already has found it’s audience through digital or physical media, the fact they were unable to gain them at the time it came out in theaters goes to show how even well quality films have suffered from other dire consequences.

Overbudgeting At It’s Finest

This is the one that everyone and their mother has pointed out but it’s certainly worth pointing out again. The amount of money that is being spend on these big movies is beyond ridiculous. Going past the traditional of $150 to $200 million budgets to big blockbusters in favor of now $250 to $300 million budgets. You have Elemental and Wish costing $200 million to make, The Flash costing $220 million to make, The Marvels costing $275 million to make, Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning- Part 1 cost $291 million to make, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny costing $300 million to make, and even Fast X costing $340 million to make. And that’s not even including the amount of money that was spent on trailers and marketing which you could add at least a few more million with. The overconfidence in box office has certainly been Hollywood’s weakness throughout the entirety of 2023.

I’m sure many people will point out how the larger budgets may have to do with Covid-19 halting many of these projects while they were in development but that doesn’t excuse how others movies released this year which made either just as much, more, or even less than any of the big movies were able to be a financial hit. You have John Wick: Chapter 4 which made a franchise record, 432 million worldwide, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse making over 600 million worldwide, which is a record for Sony Animation, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 making over 800 million worldwide, and The Super Mario Bros Movie making over 1.3 billion worldwide.

When looking at the movies mentioned from this year, only Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 was able to have a budget over 200 million dollars and was able to be a financial success. The rest of the movies either underperformed or flat out bombed at the box office. It makes you wonder how in the world movies such as The Super Mario Bros. Movie and Across the Spider-Verse were able to have a cheaper budget than Elemental despite having more impressive animation and more well known celebrities in the cast. Even so, it goes to show you how easy it is to make back your money on movies if you keep your expectations and budget in check without going too overboard.

If a movie making half or 3/4 of a billion dollars is considered underperforming, the studios need to take a good, hard look at themselves and figure out what has allowed that to happen. If you need to make at or near a billion for your big movie to make a profit, then that just speaks volume how little connection you have with yourself or the general public. Even if Covid was a factor in some extra money being spent, that can’t be the only factor to do it.

It must be no coincidence that the three highest grossing films of the year in Barbie, Mario, and Oppenheimer were all films that only cost 145 million or less. Take a hint, Hollywood!

Theater and Concession Prices Are Ridiculous

Is it me or has the prices for movie tickets and concessions skyrocketed quite a bit to the point of insanity? No matter what time or day it is, it seems like movie tickets nowadays cost a total of at least 12 to 15 dollars with 15 to 20 dollars involving food and beverage. That’s at least 25 to 35 dollars spent on one night at the movies, possibly more if you are going with friends or family members. That is just insane!

While there are certain theater companies out there that offer paid monthly subscriptions that helps save money with going to the movies such as Regal, not all theater companies are like that. At best, you will get a five or ten dollar discount after spending 50 to 100 dollars worth on your local theater and that’s basically it. And if you don’t find yourself using any of those subscriptions, that’s just a few extra bucks you got to fork over just for one or two times at the cinema.

Whether this is due to Covid-19 or the power of inflation, the increase of price in tickets and concessions has to play an effect on the way audience select the upcoming blockbusters they want to see. The movie going experience is more expense now than ever before, almost approaching the level of the expenses of gaming and sporting events. Because of that, it’s obvious the mainstream audience are mostly picking and choosing at random which movies they want to see on the big screen and which ones they would rather wait to watch in the comfort of their own homes. They’ll go see their Barbie and Oppenheimer but they will likely rather wait for The Marvels and Killers of the Flower Moon to come to streaming.

Maybe, just maybe, if theaters and cinema would have the urge to lower the prices on tickets and concessions or offer more events like Cinema Day, perhaps folks might be more willing to check films out in cinema when they arrive on the big screen.

Movies Are No Longer Events

To repeat what I said at the start of this article, remember when going to a movie of a big franchise felt like a cinematic event? Almost as if you are about to witness a moment in history you would be eager to tell your kids and grandkids many years later down the road? Is it me or has the movie theater experience lacked that hype and event feeling at least since 2020 rolled around?

There have been exceptions of course. You have the likes of Spider-Man: No Way Home, Top Gun: Maverick, Avatar: Way of Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Barbie, and Oppenheimer that were able to achieve that cinematic feeling for most moviegoers out there. But, those are really only exceptions compared to other franchise films that have come out since then. Instead of the feeling you are about to watch the cinematic equivealant of the World Series in theaters, it now feels like you are watching the cinematic equivalent of a Spring Training game.

When I saw The Marvels and The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes in theaters, the things that took me off guard the most when watching them was how uncinematic it felt watching those in theaters, especially compared to the series prior installments. I remember theaters being mostly packed when I saw the first Captain Marvel and the other Hunger Games films when I saw them in theaters, with the feeling that the hype and anticipation of so many folks was about to pay off. When I saw the newest installment of Captain Marvel and Hunger Games, I can only count on hand about eight to ten other folks with me in the theaters, which made about less than a quarter of the whole theater. If that’s not a sign how far the feeling of being in a movie theater has fallen, then I don’t know what is.

I could also give other examples, most recently with Aquaman: The Lost Kingdom set to be an absolute bomb despite the first film being the highest grossing DC film of all time, but the examples I just mentioned really gave me that depressing feeling about how the theater experience isn’t the same anymore and likely never will be.

This is likely because of how most franchise installments nowadays don’t feel like events anymore. Whether that’s due to Covid-19 or being oversaturated with them or just the overall declining quality with most of them, they just don’t feel as grand or rewarding as they used to be. Because of that, what’s the point of going to theaters anymore when you can just wait a couple of months to watch them in your own homes where you will save yourself extra cash? It’s like they said, vote with your wallet and that’s what many moviegoers have done since the pandemic rolled around.

How To Fix This?

There has been plenty of discussions going around on what Hollywood needs to do to fix their current problems. I’ll tell you right now that there is no simple solution to fix all of this. They have dug themselves into massive hole that it will take years to come even close to climbing out of it. If I were to give a simple bit of advice, it’s to probably go back to the “old school” ways of making films.

Don’t feel the need to go overbudget, don’t overthink every single bit of detail, don’t needlessly overwork your VFX artists, use every old fashioned camera trick and editing technique in the book, work at a reasonable time and pace, and most importantingly, make them all feel like films that deserve to be seen in movie theaters. Also, lowering the prices on tickets and concessions would help as well!

Of course, this won’t solve every single problem that Hollywood is currently having, especially with the amount of strikes that are likely gonna occur in the future, but at least it would give a reason as to why the theatrical experience should still be a thing in the year 2023 and onwards. Why going out to theaters to see the newest blockbuster when it comes out is important instead of just waiting a few extra months to watch on streaming or demand!

All of those things and much more need to happen if the theatrical experience is to thrive in the future. Otherwise, streaming and digital media will be the absolute future with no need for theaters and physical media.

Thanks a lot, Trolls: World Tours! You destroyed cinema!