Author: Adam

To tell you all the truth, out of all the summer movies I missed out on reviewing at the time they came out, this is the only one I didn’t want to review whatsoever. I always try my best to be as fair to each movie I’m reviewing as possible and judge it on it’s own terms regardless of the behind the scenes drama or offscreen behavior of certain actors that might have occurred. In the case of The Flash, this has to do with lead actor for Barry Allen themselves, Ezra Miller, who can’t seem to get out of trouble as they have been charged with multiple charges and allegations for the past few years, regarding abuse, assault, harassment, manipulation, and burglary. To quote Tony Stark from Iron Man 2, “Can you please NOT do anything awful for five seconds?!” I won’t go too deep into all of that as I already did a piece on that last year, which I will leave a link to at the end of the article, but Ezra has been causing an absolute s*itshow for everyone involved with The Flash.

I just didn’t think there was a way I can do a fair review for The Flash without recognizing the giant rain cloud behind the entire production of this film! However, after wrapping my head around my thoughts on this movie since June and rewatching it recently on Max, I now feel like I am able to give a complete and honest review for The Flash without the outside baggage from Ezra Miller influencing my opinion. That’s not to say I won’t mention it once or twice for the remainder of the review but I promise you this will in fact be a review of the movie and not what’s going on outside of that.

So, anyway, The Flash is a movie that has been in development hell for about as long as your parents have been alive and that’s NOT an exaggeration. The development for a Flash movie began all the way back in the late 1980s with multiple writers and directors attached to the project through 2014. Of course, when Warner Bros decided they were gonna make their own cinematic universe with their own superheroes, they knew that human Sonic the Hedgehog would have to play a role in it. However, there had been many, and I do mean MANY delays since this film was announced as part of the DC Extended Universe. With constant director changes, the Covid-19 pandemic, post-production setbacks, and controversies surrounding Ezra Miller, the fact this film was able to be released in an actual finished form is somewhat of a miracle.

After the mixed to negative response that the DCEU has received since it started in 2013 along with James Gunn and Peter Safran taking over to push forward to a new DC Universe, The Flash had been confirmed to be using the famous Flashpoint storyline to reset the DC timeline and set a clear path for future DC film installments. While it is quite risky to announce ahead of time that a film’s main purpose for existence is to wipe the slate clean as it would just give the sense of obvious obligation that folks can skip entirely, it can make for some good visual storytelling with plenty of fun action and fan service to get folks hyped for the future. While there have been films released that was able to do just that, The Flash is unfortunately not of those films.

Yes, Michael Keaton is back as Batman and is awesome to see once again! Yes, Sasha Calle is perfect as Supergirl and should definitely reprise this role for Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow. Yes, there are a few of action beats and a fun cameo at the very end that work well here. However, none of those elements are able to save the picture. We still have a Barry Allen that’s not interesting, compelling, and is just annoying, there is still pointless fan service and cameos throughout that don’t amount to anything, some of which are quite frankly insulting, and it can just never outrun the whole feeling of obligation that the film is desperately trying to avoid. While The Flash might accomplish exactly what it sets out to do, it doesn’t accomplish it well whatsoever and makes for a middling at best experience.

Premise: Worlds collide when the Flash (Ezra Miller) uses his superpowers to travel back in time to change the events of the past. However, when his attempt to save his family inadvertently alters the future, he becomes trapped in a reality in which General Zod (Michael Shannon) has returned, threatening annihilation. With no other superheroes to turn to, the Flash looks to coax a very different Batman (Michael Keaton) out of retirement and rescue an imprisoned Kryptonian (Sasha Calle) — albeit not the one he’s looking for.

To be sure, The Flash‘s overall purpose of existence is not the main cause for it’s failure whatsoever. There are plenty of ways to tell interesting stories involving multiverse concepts, time travel mechanics, and just even for the sake of course correction. You have Into the Spider-Verse and Across the Spider-Verse that was able to use the multiverse concept to perfection to craft genuine, multilayered stories about what it means to be a superhero with fan service that actually meant something. You have No Way Home that used it’s multiverse concept to act as both a logical progression for the MCU’s Peter Parker and bringing back the other two live-action Spider-Men that acted as a culmination of the past two decades of Spider-Man films. Heck, there was even X-Men: Days of Future Past, a movie which solely existed to erase the X-Men movies that no one liked, who used it’s time traveling mechanic and obvious course correction template to craft a film about our heroes fixing their mistakes of the past to push for a better, more uplifting future. Even Multiverse of Madness used it’s set pieces and effective imagery to flirt with and mock the kind of fandom that care more about filmmakers making their bizarre fan theories coming to live instead of making a genuine work of art. And do I need to say anything about the impressive cinematic achievement that was Avengers: Endgame. Unfortunately, The Flash lacks the cleverness, inventive nature, or memorability of any of those films mentioned.

While the film sets up the idea of Barry Allen messing with time to so he can go back and save his mother from death, that ends up getting pushed to the way side once the characters shows up in another timeline. It’s once we arrived at an alternate 2013, it’s all about stopping Zod from Man of Steel and basically The Flash doing Superman’s job for him with the help of an alternate version of Batman and an alternate version of Supergirl. It’s honestly about half way through the movie where I already forgot that the main purpose of Barry traveling back in time was to rescue his mother because that got lost in the sea of everything else on display.

It also doesn’t help that Barry Allen as a character is just not endearing or a main protagonist to follow. There’s no reason as to why we should care about this version of Barry other than his mom died and his father is in jail now. He’s just some annoying young adult who has the awkward behavior of a nerdy kid from grade school without any of the traits that have made prior superheroes that fit under that sort of criteria likeable or interesting in their own rights. Not to mention, there are TWO Barry Allens we have to follow throughout the majority of the movie and man, are they both insufferable whenever they are on screen together and both are just not funny whatsoever. There’s only so much Ezra Miller one can take. All of that and more is what makes the first hour of this movie an absolute slog, aside from some fun cameos with Batfleck and Wonder Woman. And that’s not even mentioning the opening action scene with The Flash where he literally puts a baby in a microwave to protect it! A BABY IN A MICROWAVE! I got nothing else on that!

Once Michael Keaton’s Batman and Sasha Calle’s Supergirl gets thrown into the mix, the film does become much better as those two do some serious heavy lifting to make the middle act of this picture more bearable to sit through. Keaton is just as much fun here as Batman as he was back in the Tim Burton’s duology. The action scenes with him are awesome, especially the break-in scene, being back in his Batcave is cool, and it’s always a delight to hear Danny Elfman’s Batman music. Sasha Calle is fantastic as Supergirl and looks stunning in her suit, perfectly displaying the range and emotion for Kara. While she has a bit less screentime than Keaton, she’s steal every scene she is in and probably kicks more ass in this movie that Batman and Flash does combined. Please Mr. Gunn, let Calle come back as Supergirl for future movies!

Even so, it’s a huge problem when the only characters you like in a movie are strictly the main supporting players. They should be added bonuses and not the only saving graces of your picture. If anything, it just makes me wish I was watching a Batman Beyond movie with Michael Keaton (which was suppose to happen but got scraped) or Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow with Sasha Calle (which should happen). I’m willing to bet those would be more interesting films than The Flash and probably even make a better profit.

Another controversial element of this film has to do with some of the bizarre cameos within the film. While there a handful that fine and dandy such as Batfleck and Wonder Woman in the first act and the one at the very end, about every other one is distracting, pointless, and insulting on multiple levels. These aren’t even like “blink-and-you-miss-it” cameos either, they are right on screen with absolutely TERRIBLE CGI and each one takes you out of the film completely. I don’t care if they got approved by family members or the actors themselves, those cameos felt so dirty to watch that I needed to take a shower after watching the movie. At least the extended cameos in the Star Wars Disney Plus series such as The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett knew who they were aiming for and which fans would love that. I couldn’t tell you what these cameos were aimed for but I assure it’s not for the fans that DC thinks they are.

And speaking of CGI, it is absolutely ABSYMAL at every turn. They do not look even remotely convincing whatsoever and reek of obvious green screen and post-production problems. The cameos that have heavy CGI attached to them look like they came across from an early PlayStation 3 game rather than an actual movie with even Injustice 2 released on the PlayStation 4 looking more convincing than that. The Flashpoint itself looks more like a main menu screen in a video game than an actual scene from a 200 plus million dollar film. Even the CGI in the MCU have never been this bad and that’s saying a lot. I can’t imagine how hard the VFX artists were cringing when they were all trying to make these special effects look even half salvageable. I didn’t think it could possibly get worse than the obvious CGI-removal of a mustache and the messy final battle with Steppenwolf in Josstice League but I was dead wrong.

When it comes to The Flash, as a whole, even if you are able to separate the artist from the art in regards to Ezra Miller, it’s still not a very good movie at all. It’s got some fun moments with the action and a few cameos that aren’t ugly or insulting to look at along with the presence of Michael Keaton and Sasha Calle. That still doesn’t take away how terrible the CGI is, how the fan service scattered throughout don’t amount to anything, how it can’t escape the whole feeling of obligation, how this version of Barry Allen is still an incredibly annoying and unengaging character, and even the entire message of how cheating in time to correct your mistakes is wrong is one that basically contradicts itself by the end in ways I don’t think was intentional by the filmmakers. It might accomplish it’s goals it sets out do but doesn’t do in a way that’s particularly good either.

The whole thing just comes across as a movie that DC felt they were forced to make just so they can then get to the movies they might actually want to do. The Flash is far from the worst film that has been associated with the DC Extended Universe (if we’re going by recent ones, I did like it more than Black Adam), but I don’t think there has been one where it felt like a movie that the filmmakers were forced to make rather than one they actually wanted to make. If I were you, I just look up all the Batman and Supergirl scenes on YouTube. And now that the movie is out on digitally and Max, I imagine that’s what everyone else is doing. And it’s all for the better! I certainly hope that the future for the DC Universe is not as phoned-in as this movie was.

Part of me wants to give it a 1.5 stars but the fun parts were fun enough to where it’s get 2 stars!

2018’s Bumblebee was a refreshing change of pace for the Transformers series. This was coming after a slew of overblown and bloated installments from the Bayverse itself, most notably with the nearly unwatchable Age of Extinction and The Last Knight. It got to the point where even the most hardcore fans of Bayformers would admit that iteration of the autobots had officially warned out it’s welcome. Travis Knight was able to deliver the new shot in the arm that the series needed with Bumblebee and here we have Steven Caple Jr. trying to deliver another one with Rise of the Beasts. As much praise that Bumblebee got for strictly not being Michael Bay’s Transformers, from being more small-scaled to action that was comprehensible to the transformers feeling more like their series counterparts to a more human and fleshed out story, it really wasn’t as far removed from Bay’s Transformers as one might think.

I’m not just talking about the fact that it wasn’t made perfectly clear at the time it came out whether or not it was suppose to act as a prequel to Bay’s universe or just a complete reboot entirely (It’s been confirmed that it is in fact a reboot!). It’s more because Bumblebee basically hit many of the same beats of as the 2007 film did! Once again, you have a shy teenager that wants a car and happens to stumble upon one that turns out to be a Transformer, that Transformer being Bumblebee. It’s also got it’s fair share of wacky comedy sidekicks, the U.S. government playing a big role in it, evil robots that also happened to be aligned with dopes in the U.S. government, and there’s a bunch of badass military men with killer guns. While there were certainly elements that were changed or tweaked such as the main human character being a girl, having female characters that aren’t just eye candy, action without red bull shaky cam, a nice coming-of-age story, and a more family friendly tone, it would be easy to mistake Bumblebee as being a modern retelling of the original Transformers, even if it probably did it better.

Which is honestly why it should come as no surprise that Rise of the Beasts follows the same plot beats as 2009’s Revenge of the Fallen. You have Unicorn playing the role of the Fallen, Scourge playing the role of Megatron, the shocking death of Optimus Prime with the shocking death of *spoiler*, an interdimensional key, a moral that the main human character must learn about responsibility and leadership, and certain transformers that seem to only exist for comic relief. Again, that’s not to say Rise of the Beasts doesn’t do these plot beats better but you can definitely feel the Michael Bay influence still present within this franchise. While Travis Knight was able to measure up the material with inspiring results with Bumblebee, director Stephen Caple Jr. is only able to measure the material to results that feel as auto pilot as the autobots themselves with Rise of the Beasts. It’s a serviceable Transformers film overall but not one that serves as the next right step for this series, and that’s even with it’s obvious tease for the future (?) at the end.

Premise: Optimus Prime (Anthony Ramos) and the Autobots take on their biggest challenge yet. When a new threat capable of destroying the entire planet emerges, they must team up with a powerful faction of Transformers known as the Maximals to save Earth.

The main selling point for Rise of the Beasts is the fact that it would be an adaption of the well-known Beasts Wars, perhaps the most popular sub-franchise in the series. The most well-known Transformers in that series include a group known as the Maximals, with characters such as Optimus Primal, Cheetor, Rhinox, Arcee, Airzaor, Mirage, etc.. That in of itself could make for the most engaging material in a Transformers film to date and finally get an installment that they feel more of the main characters of their own movie. Unfortunately, this element is no where near as well utilized as it could have been.

That’s not to say the Maximals don’t have their moments, most notable Pete Davidson’s Mirage who has some of the best and funniest moments in the movie. However, they mostly feel like an afterthought here, with only about two members of the Maximals getting anything of significant to do in the story. It feels as if they were thrown in there at the last second just for the sake of having more Transformers in action. While the action beats with them are cool, there is so much potential with them that the movie doesn’t even bother to explore. Instead, it choses to focus on characters that mainstream audiences are more familiar with such as Optimus Prime (who is surprisingly almost as much of a jerk as he was in the last two Bayformers movies) and Bumblebee along with the personal human drama.

Anthony Ramo is likable in the lead role as the new main human lead of Noah Diaz and has a fun sibling relationship with his brother Kris, played by Dean Scott Vazquez. I especially love the way they both refer to each other as Sonic and Tails (which of course is referenced to Paramount owning the rights to the Sonic movies). However, that mostly gets pushed to the wayside in favor of giving him a female love interest named Elena Wallace, played by Dominque Fishback, whose presence also feels tacked on. Fishback is fine in the role but she isn’t giving much to work with other than playing love interest #101 and lacks property chemistry with Ramo. While it’s far from the worse human drama in this series, it’s lacks the spark of that was present between Bumblebee and Hailee Steinfeld and even Shia Labeouf to an extent.

However, for those that come to these movies for the robo fights, this should definitely do you proud. The action is quite top-notch, able to build perfectly from the prologue of Bumblebee and able to translate that scale and chorography wonderfully into Rise of the Beasts. While it’s certainly not as explosive heavy as Bay’s movies, it certainly avoids the trappings of obnoxious shaky cams and awkward cuts, being able to see clearly what’s going on and feeling the tension throughout every single action scene that is present. Even if the Maximals don’t make as much impressions as characters, they do make for some entertaining spectacle.

Despite the paper-thin characterization and plotting, the cast does a fine job overall, from the voice celebrity actors for the Transformers themselves to the human cast. Peter Cullen is still the G.O.A.T. as Optimus Prime. Rob Perlman, Peter Dinklage, and Michelle Yeoh does good work as Optimus Primal, Scourage, and Airazor respectively. Pete Davidson probably makes the biggest impressions among the new Transformers as Mirage, certainly making for one of the better comic relief characters in this franchise. Although, the two lack on-screen chemistry or characters with depth, Anthony Romos and Dominque Fishback have enough personality and charm to carry the material they are given to work with.

There’s not much you can say about Rise of the Beasts other than what you come to expect from a Transformers movie at this point. Some might think I’m demanding to much from the kind of movies that solely exists to be fun popcorn flicks that don’t require much to turn your brain off too. However, with the kind of material is was adapting and is present onscreen, it could have made for one of the better Transformers movies rather than one that is middle-of-the-pack at best. Despite sharing similar faults as Bumblebee with following familiar beats and tropes, it lacks the energy and heart that film provided, leaving this one feeling more disposable than anything else. It delivers the action, visuals, and spectacle you can come to expect from these movies and does them well to make for a fine watch but it doesn’t do enough to justify the Beasts Wars brand or even the brand that it has follow through for over a decade now. Even with the tease at the end of a potential cross-over in the future, Rise of the Beasts feels too surface value and run-of-the-mill. And if the lackluster box office numbers have been any indication, I’m certainly not alone in thinking that.

Who in the world would’ve thought that the Fast & Furious series would have eleven installments up to this point? This is a franchise that has come a long way from it’s traditional street racing days and now acts as some of the biggest and dumbest actions films ever made. Everyone has their own opinion of which days of Vin Diesel and crew that they prefer. As I mentioned in my review for Fast X, if it wasn’t the original The Fast and the Furious that got you into the series, then it was likely Fast Five that did just that. Because of that, opinions on the series’ quality and decline certainly differs from one generational fan to another. That’s why there’s a good chance my ranking won’t match with yours. Regardless, let’s rank these crazy films from worst to best!

11.) F9

This is the installment that basically redefining jumping the shark by having a sequence where it had it’s characters literally jump out in OUTER SPACE WHILE IN A CAR! F9 is the movie that took every known component that F&F was known up to this point and cranked it up to 11! The result was a mindless and proudly stupid film that constantly reminds you how mindless and proudly stupid it is. You have action sequences that have no tender to reality, characters that are brought back but giving nothing to do, and the whole family dynamic that has been the driving force of the series is abandoned, with Dom having a brother this whole time that he literally threw out of his life and pretended never existed. There’s jumping the shark and there’s whatever the hell F9 is! If this wasn’t a sign that the franchise had lost it’s heart and soul, then I really don’t want to know what is.

10.) 2 Fast 2 Furious

The one entry that put the full spotlight on Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner and Tyrese Gibson’s Roman Pearce is unfortunately one of the weakest in the franchise. Most of the fun and personality that carried the best F&F movies and even some of the worst ones is just not present here. The racing sequences fall flat and don’t hold a candle to the original, the villain is a complete joke, the plot is silly beyond words, and the film’s overreliance on weird Dutch angels gets distracting the longer it goes on. While it’s no longer the worst in the franchise since it at least doesn’t get so ridiculous that it’s insulting to the human brain, 2 Fast 2 Furious is best left ignored.

9.) The Fate of the Furious

The first post-Furious 7 flick that showcased the lack of creativity that this franchise has remaining and the amount of staying power it no longer contains. These movies were slowly starting to flirt with the amount of ridiculousness contained within itself that was clearly not going to carry over well with future entries. What makes it stick out more like a sore thumb here is the needlessly self-serious tone along with putting too much emphasis on constant timeline retcons, bizarre character reveals, and predictable outcomes. You also have Jason Statham feeling like a completely different character from the last movie, Charlize Theron (A.K.A Furious herself) cast in a F&F movie but doesn’t even get to drive a car, and the tone-deaf name reveal of Dom’s son named Brian. While not without some enjoyable moments, The Fate of the Furious was the sign of this series had been stuck in neutral.

8.) Fast X

Fast X is not the worst entry in this franchise but it definitely feels like the most tired one. It’s pretty much a statement that this series has lost the pride and heart that it once have and has literally become the parody that it was previously avoiding or poking fun at. Jason Momoa carries the whole thing with his charismatic performance as the new evil baddie in the series and there’s a few fine characters moments and action beats here and there but there is just no reason to care about anything that’s going on in this series anymore because whatever happens where, it will likely be retconned by the next film. For those who are still on board and don’t care about effective stakes and consequences in these movies, you will likely get your money’s worth and still be entertained. For everyone else, just get out of the car while you still can. It’s better than 8 and 9 but that’s not really much of a race to win.

7.) Fast & Furious

The bizarrely titled Fast & Furious (which I actually thought was suppose to be the first one based on the title when I first binged these movies) is the one that basically resembled the end of one road and the beginning of another. Acting as a bridge between the street racing flicks of the original three movies and setting the groundwork for Fast Five and onwards, this was one of the last movies in the series where we see the Fast Family acting more like mortal human beings who have to deal with the consequences of their past. Just a shame of outside of those elements along with the supposed death of Letty (which would get retcon two movies later), there’s nothing much that stands out as being particularly memorable about Fast & Furious. It’s harmless enough but not one you will find yourself going back to outside of potential future binging.

6.) Hobbs & Shaw

This is probably the only one chapter of the post-Paul Walker era that I found enjoyment in. Yes, it’s just as crazy and over-the-top as those recent films and I still don’t buy Jason Statham being portrayed as a suppose “good guy” now but that’s forgivable because of how well done the action scenes are and the Rock and Statham just have perfect chemistry whenever they are on screen together. Idris Elba makes for one entertaining bad guy as basically “Black Superman” and Vanessa Kirby blends in very well with the rest of the rose gallery of badass women in the series (even if Eiza Gonzalez could have been given more to do). It may not be necessary but Hobbs & Shaw is able to deliver what it says on the box quite well without trying to convince you it’s something else entirely.

5.) The Fast and the Furious

The one that started it all is the most unapologetic Point Break knock-off out there and somehow managed to be a better Point Break remake than the actual turd remake that somehow made it’s way to theaters in 2015. While this franchise has certainly come a long way in the best and worst ways, it’s odd to look back when these films were about street racers boosting DVD players as it made things more focused with clear cut goals to deliver straight forward racing flicks with a limited budget and runtime. Similar to the very first X-Men and Harry Potter, while it’s reputation is higher than it’s actual quality along with playing more like a “proof of concept” than an actual film, The Fast and the Furious works well as a one-and-done racing/crime melodrama that requires no homework whatsoever to understand and enjoy.

4.) Fast & Furious 6

Coming off the series’ high of Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6 was always gonna have tough shoes to fill. Even if it doesn’t quite measure up, it’s still a lot of fun to watch Justin Lin try to top himself with even more action-heavy stunts this time around and a stronger focus on being a heist thriller. Despite coming off an entry where it felt like everything paid off big time for the whole crew, this is still able to give each member of the Fast Family something to do and their own moment to shine. While this did introduces tropes that would later come back to prior future sequels with resurrecting dead characters and defying internal logic, it still holds together well because there’s still legit stakes throughout and the family dynamics still feel real. This is probably the one F&F movie I always put on whenever I need a good fun time without thinking too much about it.

3.) Furious 7

Acting as the beginning of the end of the F&F franchise as we know it, Furious 7 existing at all feels like a miracle. What makes it even more of a miracle is that it works all despite having everything going against them with the tragic passing of Paul Walker. This acts well as being the final chapter of the successful self-parody era of this franchise along with delivering an ending that’s such an all-timer and perfect send-off for Brian O’Connor that it should have been the end to this franchise. It’s a shame that The Rock gets pushed to the wayside this time around and this was when the series was starting to get so ridiculous that people were beginning to get very annoyed by it. Warts and all, James Wan is still able to deliver the great stunts and action where it counts the most while giving the Fast Family a nice send off that would have worked well as a satisfying conclusion to this franchise. It might be an easy movie to nitpick to death but considering all the circumstances surrounding the production, Furious 7 is a marvelous achievement that deserves all the credit in the world.

2.) The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

There are two kinds of people in the world: those that get Tokyo Drift and those that do not. Considering that this is #2 on the list, you probably know which group I fall in. Acting as a brief departure from the main series by not including 99% of the Fast crew, this was easily the best of the pre-Fast Five films because it’s makes the best use of street racing element that played the biggest key factor in the series. Setting a F&F film in Japan was such as genius choice that I’m surprised it wasn’t done from the get-go as it makes for the perfect location to provide some genuinely intense and fist-bumping racing sequences. Lucas Black may not be the best actor in the world but his character fits perfectly in the F&F universe as yet another anti-hero that’s trying to take the law into his own hands for his personal greed. Of course, this also introduced fan-favorite Hans who was so likeable they had to make the next few films actual prequels to this so they can keep him as part of the gang for a limit period of time. If there’s anyone that wants to know the appeal of this series during it’s early era, look no further than The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. When even Christopher Nolan himself is a big fan of the film, you know you’ve done something right.

1.) Fast Five

Of course, there has been no installment in this entire franchise that been able to top his one. Not only is Fast Five hands down the best F&F movie to date, it’s arguably one of the best action films of the 21st century. Every action scene, from the car chases to the hand-to-hand combat to the heist missions, is spectacularly done, the stunt work from every member of the team is so good that they all deserved an Oscar, the supporting cast is at their absolute best and most well utilized here, the family drama and tension has never been more personal, and introduces the most charismatic actor of the series that acted as the perfect “shot in the arm” with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. This was the one where it felt like the whole thing came full circle, paying off four movies of ill-conceived plots and delivering a spectacular climax in the heist mission that is easily the most stand out sequence in the entire franchise. This has the right mix of everything and was able to avoid most of the series’ problems before hand and especially after. Because of all of this and more, Fast Five is the best that the Fast and Furious franchise has got and is just as good as blockbuster films can possibly get in general.

Fast and Furious has to be one of the most severely complicated movie franchises out there. It’s a series of films that have basically coasted on two different identities for itself. You had the first three movies that act as simple street racing flicks while four and onwards act as crazy, over-the-top action thrill rides with some espionage and heist elements thrown into the mix. They say that if it wasn’t the original The Fast and the Furious that got you into the series, then it was Fast Five that did just that. Regardless of what subgenre for this series that you prefer, I think most will agree that Furious 7 should have been the main stopping point for the series. Not only because of the passing of Paul Walker and the seventh installment basically acting as one fine tribute to him but it seemed like everything had come full circle for the characters and their journeys throughout the series that there wasn’t anywhere left to go. However, the movies didn’t stop there and the series have basically become even more of a parody of itself then it already was as a result.

The Fate of the Furious was a completely dour and self-serious pile of mediocrity filled with confusing twists, odd character motivations, and screw-ups of the timeline, showcasing the lack of ideas this series has left. F9 redefined jumping the shark by literally having it’s characters jump out into orbit along with action scenes, character motivations, and logic that was borderline nonsensical, even for F&F standards, making it easily the worst the franchise has got. While the spin-off Hobbs & Shaw was enjoyable enough in it’s own right, there has been nothing about these post-Furious 7 entries that have justified this series continuing on aside from box office results. Now, we have Fast X. Although it’s an improvement over the last two main installments, it still continues that trend of a series that desperately needs to put it’s engine to rest.

Premise: Over many missions and against impossible odds, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his family have outsmarted and outdriven every foe in their path. Now, they must confront the most lethal opponent they’ve ever faced. Fueled by revenge, a terrifying threat known as Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa) emerges from the shadows of the past to shatter Dom’s world and destroy everything — and everyone — he loves. Toretto must bring his back together once again to protect his family and the one he loves from this new menace.

There are basically three main selling points when it comes to Fast & Furious nowadays: ridiculous stunts, over-the-top action, and some social commentary on the power of family. That is something that everyone has to be aware of when they go to one of these movies. While the better entries in this franchise were able to make the best use of that, most notably Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6, and Furious 7, these last few entries continue to make the absolute worst use of that. Not only because they defy logic with characters feeling more like overpowered superheroes than real human begins, they also defy tension and actual stakes. It’s not that turning your brain off for a dumb action film is inherently a bad thing but it’s now done so much to the point there’s no reason to care about anything going on in these movies anymore.

Fast X certainly doesn’t contain anywhere near amount of logic breaking action sequences on par with F9, almost as if the filmmakers felt pressured to pump the breaks after the criticism for that movie. However, there are still plenty of moments throughout that it will require you to not think whatsoever for you to buy it one single bet. The main one involves a sequence where Dom Toretto is able to run his car head on into a crane, is able to spin it around with enough force, and the car is able to land perfectly without a ton of damage or Dom having so much as a scratch on him. And don’t get started when he is also able to life a car up with just one hand and even driving perfectly through the damn while he and his son are ON FIRE! It’s almost as if scenes like this exist just so Vin Diesel can stroke his own ego and prove himself to be the “hero” of cinema! Goodness gracious!

What also takes away the tension of these recent installments is constantly bringing back characters that were previously dead. You can definitely make the argument that bringing back Letty in Fast & Furious 6 was pushing it but just about every character that has come back since then have just felt redundant. What’s the point of caring about anything happening anymore if you have characters constantly coming back when they’ve been previously killed off? Without getting much into spoilers, there is a sequence towards the end of the climax where one major character commits a heroic sacrifice but I’m willing to bet it won’t mean crap in the next film because he will likely just be brought back anyway. And that’s not even mentioning how after said character dies, we discover later on that ANOTHER character that was thought to be dead is still alive. Even if I can admittedly buy that one person surviving over the other characters brought back to life, it still doesn’t take away from the fact that the series just has no stakes or tension of any kind anymore.

To make matters even worse is that the film itself throws brand new characters into the mix without even knowing what to do with the ones that they brought back to life. Brie Larson and Alan Ritchson join the expanded cast of characters but they are mostly pushed to the wayside for the majority of the film as it has to make room for a bunch of other characters and subplots that it also doesn’t even know what to do with. What was the point of bringing Han back from the dead if you weren’t gonna give him anything to do? Why is Shaw constantly being dragged into dire situations with Dom’s crew? When exactly did Scott Eastwood becoming a main player of the series again? How in the world did you get *spoiler* back into this mess? If you offer such little spectacle that is fun to watch and ask yourself questions like I just did, then you basically failed your job at what you are trying to do.

It should be worth mentioning that Fast X is tended to be Part One of the supposed final story in this franchise, with Part Two coming out in 2025 with a possible Part Three in the works. If you didn’t know that ahead of time, then you CERTAINLY will with the way this film wraps up in the most abrupted way possible. There’s a good chance that most of my questions will be answered next time around but they’re not necessarily questions you should need another movie to answer for or ones that you really want to see being answered next time around. And considering this is a franchise that no longer cares about continuity whatsoever, I trust them to resolve all these loose ends about as far as I can throw Vin Diesel himself (except when he’s a little talking tree of course).

That’s not to say there’s no redeemable valuables whatsoever. The one newcomer that absolutely makes the whole movie his own is the villain Dante Reyes, played by Jason Momoa. The character himself is probably the best villain this series has had in quite some time and Momoa himself is clearly enjoying every scene that he is in. You can tell the actor is 100% aware of what kind of movie he is in and absolutely makes the most of it. He’s funny, manipulative, and makes for a perfect foe to Dom and his family. While the way the character is inserted into the timeline is about as contrived as it usually is with this series, Momoa is so entertaining in the role that it’s impossible to care.

There’s also John Cena’s return as Dom’s brother Jakob (I still can’t believe this is a real thing!) who works much better this time around compare to Fast X and has really nice chemistry with his nephew Brian, played by Leo Abelo Perry. The main players from the past F&F movies still do have nice chemistry with one another, even if they have all pretty much provided everything they’ve possibly can add to the series. And while the action has become so in-your-face that it’s become numb to this point, there are handful of hand-to-hand combat fights that work quite well, most notably the long awaited fight between Charlize Theron and Michelle Rodriguez.

Fast X is not the worst entry in this franchise but it definitely feels like the most tired one. It’s pretty much a statement that this series has lost the pride and heart that it once have and has literally become the parody that it was previously avoiding to do. Jason Moama carries the whole thing with his charismatic performance and there’s a few fine characters moments and action beats here and there but there is just no reason to care about any of it anymore. For those who are still on board and don’t care about effective stakes or consequences in these movies, you will likely get your money’s worth and be entertained. For everyone else, just get out of the car while you still can. It’s better than 8 and 9 but that’s not really much of a race to win.

It was just announced today that Charles Martinet, the man behind the voice of Mario since he started speaking, will be retiring after over three decades of voicing the iconic character. He had also done the voice for other notable characters in the Mario franchise such as Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and their baby equivalents. It’s unknown yet who will be taking over the role but whoever it is will make their debut voicing Mario in the upcoming game Super Mario Wonder, set to release on October 20th. While Martinet will still remain at Nintendo as a special ambassador, his time as the Italian plumber and a few others have come to an end. His last notable roles in the Mario franchise came from last year’s releases of Mario Strikers: Battle League and Mario + Rabbids Spark of Hope along with The Super Mario Bros. Movie where he did some cameo roles and voiced Mario and Luigi’s father.

To say that whoever will replace him will have big shoes to fill would be an understatement. You are replacing a legend who had helped bring so much life and energy to what was originally a very muted character. Sure, there were a handful of notable actors that voiced the character in other entertainment mediums such as the 90s show, 90s live-action movie, and of course, the animated movie from this year but it’s never really happen in the form of medium that the character is most well known for, the video games. Whether you like it or not, things are about to change for the better or worse.

Admittedly, Mario as a character isn’t well known for his award-winning voice acting. In the games themselves, he never really talks in long or coherent sentences to give Martinet an “Oscar” moment and only speaks ups every once in a while to utter the same phrase that the player is thinking about at that very moment. However, it’s that voice alone that brings the life and energy to that character that has helped defined him over the past 30+ years. It’s the voice that exists to give you a glimpse at what that character would sound like in real life and have anyone imagine how it would sound if the character was more talkative. It may not be a whole lot but it’s definitely enough. Just hearing Charles Martinet say “Yahoo!” as Mario sounds right every single time!

That’s not to say having a different voice actor for Mario will make those iconic lines sound wrong but it won’t sound right the way it used to be. No matter how good of a job the next person up might end up doing, he will be compared unfairly to Charles Martinet. Whether he will try hard to sound exactly like Martinet’s Mario or do his own spin on it, he will never be Charles Martinet and there is no denying that. Just ask Chris Pratt!

In the best case scenario, this will be the equivalent of when Troy Baker took over the role as Joker from Mark Hamill or when Tara Strong took over the role as Harley Quinn from Arleen Sorkin. While they do resemble their previous voice actors to an extent and can never fully captured the spark they provided, they are still worth successors in their own right. That’s because they are able to provide enough of their own take on the characters they are voicing that makes their version stand out greatly in their own rights and pays respects to the characters they are voicing along with the actors they are succeeding. If this is a similar case scenario for Mario, then I think this will work out just fine and the next person up should have nothing much to worry about.

While Nintendo hasn’t announced yet who will be the voice of Mario in Super Mario Wonder and beyond, there have been some voiced clips released with the gameplay that has been shown so far of the game. If what we have heard so far is any indication, then I think we are in good hands. I certainly am curious though if the new voice actor for Mario will also be voicing multiple characters as well, most notably the ones that Martinet voiced such as Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi. Even so, I’ve liked what we’ve heard of Mario’s new voice so far. If you want to be your own judge, here’s a link to the gameplay footage shown thus far and form your own opinion.

While Charles Martinet no longer voicing Mario is certainly a shock, it is something that was gonna have to be done at some point. As the good old saying goes, all goods things must come to an end. Regardless, no matter how Mario sounds from hear on out, Charles Martinet will always be known as the main voice behind the famous Italian Plumber for generations. While he will certainly be missed as the voice of Mario, he will certainly never be forgotten.

Thanks for everything, Charles Martinet! And whoever had the balls to follow in his footsteps, I wish you the best of luck!

Super Mario Bros. Wonder will be released on October 20th!

Does anyone remember that one episode of Spongebob Squarepants titled, “Fear of a Krabby Patty”? What happened in that episode is that Mr. Krabs decides to open the Krusty Krab for 24 hours after his arch rival Plankton threatened to open his restaurant, the Chum Bucket, for 23 hours! Because of that along with Plankton secretly ordering 10,000 Krabby Patties, Spongebob and Squidward are overworked to hell and their minds start cracking like an egg from exhaustion! Because of this, Spongebob suffers from cases of insomnia, hallucinations, and so-called “Krabby Patty phobia”, which leads to him needing to see a psychiatrist. The most famous moment of that episode was the montage where Mr. Krabs is keeping track of how many days it’s been since the Krusty Krab is opening while Spongebob is slowly starting to lose his mind and be exhausted from constantly doing his jobs for several weeks with no breaks whatsoever.

That episode managed to be quite ahead of it’s time and honestly overlooked. Not only because it was the first episode to come out of Spongebob Squarepants after the very first movie came out (A.K.A. the start of the so-called “bad” era of Spongebob), but the morals of that episodes are ones that still range true to this day. The morals being that bosses needlessly overworking their employees is wrong and quality should come first over quantity. And if the reported awful experiences that VFX artists have had at Marvel Studios along with the animators behind Across the Spider-Verse is any indication, it looks as though the folks involved in either of those teams have suffered from their own Krabby Patty phobia. Overworked to exhaustion so much that they never want to even take a glance at a digital effect or piece of animation ever again!

If you have been following the Marvel Cinematic Universe in recent years, you would know that Marvel has had a HUGE CGI and VFX problem for a long time now! It got to the point where somehow the works from their previous films from the very beginning have better and more polished effects than the later films despite the increased budgets over time and more advanced technology. While most people will point that problem to many of the Phase Four installments and onwards with infamously awful CGI/VFX work in the likes of Black Widow, Thor: Love and Thunder, She-Hulk, and Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania this has been a problem going on for almost a full decade now!

My first notice of the iffy at best special effects work came at the beginning of Avengers: Age of Ultron, where the Avengers are fighting alongside each other in a sequence that looks so cartoony, over-the-top, and unrealistic that it COMPLETELY took me out of the movie along with others when I first saw it. While the effects did get better throughout that film, the results of some of the effects there were just baffling, especially with so much money being spent on that movie. Unfortuantely, it didn’t stop there!

There were plenty of other instances that I noticed that for the rest of Phase Two and Three of said poor VFX work. There was the airport fight scene in Captain America: Civil War where the CGI was painfully obvious, especially with Spider-Man, the big blue blob sequence that took place at the climax in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and of course, the INCREDIBLY poor special effect work in Black Panther! It’s so bizarre how the more this series got popular and the more money spent on it, the worse the special effects actually got!

Whenever the effects in anything looks bad, people always like to point their fingers to CGI being the main problem or even throwing shades at the people who worked on it. However, it’s very clear at this point that neither one of those are to blame for it! The VFX artists are clearly trying their heart out to make it work and make the effects look as convincing as possible! The problems mostly ranges from the studios releasing as many projects as they can with not as much time as before, having very little patience with their workers, annihilating those that won’t put up with their crap, and as a result, the VFX teams become smaller and more overworked the longer the production goes on. If you don’t believe me, just ask the people that worked on WandaVision!

I will leave a link at the end of this piece of the interview with the VFX artists themselves so you can read more into it but needlessly to say, the experience of working on WandaVision was absolute hell for those that worked on it that were a part of the VFX team! From working constant 18-hours shifts to not having any days offs until the show was near completion to being unable to see their families due to work conditions to not even getting any bonuses or raises for working overtime, it had to been an absolutely MISERABLE experience to anyone who had to work on that show!

Just imagine being a part of that team during the making of WandaVision! Can you honestly really blame the VFX artists for any bad effects that might have been on the show? At some point, when working so much and having very little rest during that, you have to stop giving a crap and likely just want to finish it as fast as you can so it can all be over, getting a chance to have a full eight hour long sleep for once! I understand it’s a big show that MILLIONS of people around the world are gonna watch which always results in long work shifts but being overworked to that extend is just not acceptable!

You can also say the same thing for just about every show or movie that Marvel Studios has released in the past two years! Regardless of what you think about the overall quality of them, I think everyone will agree that releasing over 20 products in the span of just two years is quite absurd! Compare that to when the studios were just releasing a couple of films a year. That led to more time being spend on polishing the scripts, effects, and productions so it can make for better, quality pictures. You know the term, less is more! Less is more is certainly what can NOT be said about Marvel for the past two years!

While that likely has to do with Disney demanding so much Marvel content at once for Disney Plus and theaters, especially during Bob Chapek’s brief time as CEO, at some point, the pressure is going to get to the people working on these things eventually. At some point, they are simply gonna stop caring about the quality of it and just focus on getting it done as fast as possible so they can see their families sooner rather than later. There’s only so much the human body can take before it has had enough and your brain completely goes into “I don’t give a F!” mode! To put it all simply, the treatment that VFX artists have been getting at Marvel Studios is quite frankly cruel!

Thankfully, the Marvel VFX workers seem to think the exact same thing! Earlier this week, it’s been reported that the VFX artists will indeed go on strike and set up a vote to create a new, national VFX union. A union that will likely create a better work environment for the team with plenty of fresh, young blood, flexible work scheduling, and plenty of rewards and bonuses for those that chose to work overtime!  If successful, this would be the first group to certify union participation amid a wider call for unionization in the VFX community. The election date for it is August 21st and will last until September 11th.

I don’t know how that will played out but something like that NEEDED to happen badly. Not just for the sake of the quality of the VFX for future Marvel projects but also for the sake of the well-beings that take so much time out of their day to do that work for all of us to watch in the comforts of our own homes. However, VFX artists are not the only ones that desperately need a strike to voice their displeasure with their working conditions, that should go to animators as well.

As much as we would all love to turn a blind side of any potential behind the scenes drama to any one of our favorites movies, they are always worth bringing up when they happen to make sure you know of the unstable working conditions that the people involve in these movies are going through for several months and possibly even years while they are making it. In this case, while Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is still one of my favorites films of 2023, I can’t deny the reports of the absolute hell that animators and artists went through when it came to making the film as masterful as it is. It hurts to admit but it’s just the truth, to paraphrase a very wise someone from the same said film!

Just like with the article involving the VFX artists, I will also provide one involving the making of Across the Spider-Verse that goes more in-depth to everything the animators of that film went through but once again, it was NOT a pleasant experience whatsoever. This interview that came out in June referred to four animators on Across the Spider-Verse that left the project due to it not being a pleasant experience and they were far from the only ones.

The working conditions for Across the Spider-Verse were very difficult for everyone involved, from numerous revisions to full 11-hour shifts, seven days a week, for over a year. This had to do with producer/co-writer, Phil Lord, constantly re-writing the script and overseeing production, forcing animators to constantly re-work certain scenes until he 100% approves of it. This led to hundreds of hours of hard work with the animation being thrown in the trash because it wasn’t what Lord wanted and hundreds of extra hours of work to make it the way he wanted. This stressful workload was so overwhelming to many animators and artists that over 100 of them left the project halfway through.

The four went on to say that there was no way that the next film, Beyond the Spider-Verse was gonna makes it’s March 2024 release date (which they were correct), as both movies were not made at the same time and they “barley crossed the finished line” when it came time for the second movie to premiere. While the highers ups from Sony such as Amy Pascal and Michelle Grady attempted to downplay on those work conditions that these four animators addressed, there is no denying that grueling hours and workload demands were a major factor on getting Across the Spider-Verse into shape before release. While this is far from the first instance where a genuinely great film was a complete nightmare to work on for the people involved, it is quite said to see animators get such harsh treatment like this.

What makes it worse is the reports of there being completely different versions of Across the Spider-Verse that were released in theaters and also through digital last week! While the versions aren’t so different that it affects the plot or viewing experience, certain changes and details that were removed have been noted from people that have watched the film multiple times! Could that have to do with the film “barely crossing the finished line” like the animators mentioned and not taking one last glance at the picture before releasing it everywhere worldwide? I can’t say exactly but the fact that the people involved didn’t bother making one more edit before publication before release and only did it after release says a lot!

There is hope that Beyond the Spider-Verse might not get the same story when it comes to the overworking hours for the animators. The film has been delayed from it’s initial March 2024 release date and even taken off the release schedule until further notice. While a large part of that has to do with the current strike that’s currently taking place with the writers and actors, that does at least mean that there will be more time for those involve to publish the film and help make it the best possible version of itself. And even producers Phil Lord and Chris Miller claimed that the film will only come out “when it’s ready”!

Even if I can take their word for it, that does not change the fact that the animators went through a lot when making Across the Spider-Verse and received very little reward for it in return. While there has been a strike in place for VFX artists in regards to Marvel Studios, animators and artists are more in their right to go on strike. Their contract with the SAG-AFTRA is set to expire sometime next year. When that happens, I would not be surprised to see them go on strike! Or if the studios want to avoid another situation like the one happening now with their writers and actors, they should leave by example like what Seth Rogen did to the animation crew of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem.

Yes, you read that correctly! In a recent interview, it was confirmed by TMNT director Jeff Rowe that him along with producers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg made sure the staff could work on the animated movie while continuing to maintain a good work-life balance. It was something that the three of them took to heart and made their top priority every day when working on the picture. Come on studios, if Seth Rogen of all people can take good care of his crew, then you can too! I’ll also leave a link for that interview as well but yeah!

Keep in mind, I’m not trying to get you to change your mind on what you think of the new Marvel stuff and Across the Spider-Verse! It’s perfectly okay to still enjoy them if you do. Even I will admit I still enjoy most of them! I don’t necessarily think folks who worked on these things are coming out to get you to hate the things they worked on but more to understand their perspective on what they’ve been going through when making these things as a result and hopes it will lead to more stress-free productions for the immediate future.

In conclusion, VFX artists and animators deserve to join alongside the writers and actors right now and take a stand to the toxic work environment they are forced to work with every day. While the VFX crew from Marvel Studios are doing that right now and the animators may have to wait another year to do so, they have fully earned the right to do that!

What’s going on with film and television production in Hollywood right now is unacceptable and it’s time for changes! Changes such has treating the people that make you who you are with some damn respect! First the writers and actors, now the VFX artist and animators! And I promise you, A.I. won’t bail you out of this one!

Links to Articles:

• https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/marvel-vfx-workers-move-toward-unionization-vote-1235567010/

• https://collider.com/spider-man-across-the-spider-verse-animators-working-conditions/

• https://decider.com/2023/08/07/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-mutant-mayhem-director-treating-animators-ethically-seth-rogen/

The new Spider-Man fan film, Spider-Man: Lotus, has finally been available to watch for free on YouTube. This has been a fan film that has been years in the making with a lot of discourse surrounding it. While some were excited to see a low budget Spider-Man project that aimed to put more emphasis on the human drama surrounding Peter Parker and him grieving over losing his loved ones, it has been overshadowed by the ENORMOUS amount of controversy surrounding the making of the picture along with the history surrounding the cast and crew attached to it.

I’ll admit that I’m someone who mostly stayed out of the discourse surrounding Spider-Man: Lotus while it was in production because I just wasn’t interested in it. However, after reading up on it in the past week, it makes me certainly wish I knew about all of that sooner. Even if I was someone that ending up really enjoying Spider-Man: Lotus (which I do not whatsoever), it was undoubtedly things that HAD to be brought to the forefront regardless of the film’s overall quality. Because of that, I want to discuss all of the drama behind the director, the actors, the making of this fan film, and how the overall film actually is. It’s important to address all of this and see why fan films like Spider-Man: Lotus are a perfect showcase of the dangers of letting fans become the filmmakers.

And I know there will be some folks out there that claim that people need to separate the artist from the art and judge the film as it’s own thing. However, when it comes to the circumstances with how this film was made and how the main people involved with it are quite frankly not good people, I just can’t look the other way this time. Even so, I promise I will talk about the film’s quality overall and why I don’t think it works whatsoever on it’s own merits. But, first, we have to discuss the controversy involving certain people attached to this well-funded project.

Warden Wayne

The first bit of controversy came off of the lead actor and co-write of Spider-Man: Lotus, Warden Wayne, after there were comments that made by him that surfaced on the internet that came across as incredibly racist. This came from Twitter user @Thnnder, who shared a handful of those bluntly racist comments that were made by Wayne through social media. I’m not gonna show them directly but it mostly came across as him using the N word over and over and over again in plain sight on Instagram.

Those image surfaced on the internet in June 2022 and it wasn’t long until Warden Wayne admitted to making those racist comments. He put the blame on his sheltered lifestyle and being part of a conservative household where racial slurs were “pushed” onto him. Wayne did take to Twitter (Btw, YES, I’m gonna keep calling it Twitter and not X! Take that, Musk!) to explain his actions but claimed in the end that he was willing to take responsibilities for those offensive comments and grow to become a better person. So, the fact that the lead actor already had a bad history behind him is not an encouraging sign at all for this film! First domino to fall!

And here is Wayne’s full response to the racist allegations, which he admitted was true!

I’ve been wanting to come forward about this for a long time. Please read. pic.twitter.com/kz42egpAs5

— Warden Wayne (@mrwardenwayne) June 19, 2022

However, Wayne’s past would unfortunately not be the only dark cloud that would hang over production of this fan film. The next one had to do with the main man behind the entire film himself, director/co-writer, Gavin J. Konop.

Gavin J. Konop

Konop had already been a controversial figure among the Spidey fanbase given his well-known contempt towards the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s version of Spider-Man and it’s director Jon Watts. Despite Jon Watts showing his support towards this project, Konop has actively gone out of his way on multiple occasions to insult the MCU’s spin on Spider-Man at every turn. It is believed that a big reason for this project’s very existence has to do in a response to Konop’s dislike towards Jon Watts’s take on the character, most notably his extremely negative reaction to Spider-Man: Far From Home, and as a means to “stick it” to him with the mindset that he seemingly knows the material better than Watts does. Konop did backtrack on that, claiming he has enormous respect towards Watts and was over the moon when he got a DM from him after the initial trailer for Lotus came out, despite not being a fan of his iteration of Spider-Man. However, there has been plenty of comments from Konop through social media about Watts and the quality of Spider-Man pictures made from the Sony and Marvel Studios partnership that give the indication of the smug, ego-filled mindset that was the cause for this project’s existence.

There was also the other notable controversy that surfaced the internet by Twitter user @BerkmanBoom, with screenshots of remarks that came across as racist, sexist, and homophobic along with specific recordings that leaked which were quite disgusting. Even though the original posts of those had been deleted, screenshots and recordings of it were already made and went into the public eye all throughout the internet. Again, I don’t want to share them but it was confirmed by Konop himself that at least some of them were in fact real. He claims that a big reason for those remarks had to do with that kind of vocabulary being allowed in middle school and high school along with refusing to grow into more maturity.

Berkmanboom however claimed that Konop was lying about his reasons. In a now-deleted post, he mentioned that “He was even going to help me make my own Spider-Man fan film. He was going to write and edit the whole project. He eventually started to get more followers and changed his platform to Gjkcentral and started to drop me. I had other friends, but no one who I felt understood me like Gavin.” He was afraid to come out at first due to potential backlash from Konop’s fans but felt compelled to after prior allegations of Konop using racist language came out. That eventually would lead to another anonymous source on Twitter to share a screen recording where Konop using another racial slur.

Konop did make a video where he tried to address all of this controversy surrounding him and the making of his film. Despite the apology, it didn’t come across as earnest to most of his fans, with most who contributed to crowdfunding Spider-Man: Lotus demanding refunds and no longer showing support to the project. So, not only is the main lead of this fan film had not so good history surrounding him but now the director as well. There goes another domino!

Here’s that video btw!

John Salandria

As if things couldn’t get any worse with the racist allegations, it was later revealed that the actor for Green Goblin had also been exposed for similar behavior. Derrick Woods, writer and director of a similar crowdfunded Spider-Man film that has yet to come out, released screenshots of what appeared to be a conversation between Wayne and Goblin actor, John Salandria. I also won’t show the screenshot but it basically came across as Saldandria using the same racist vocabulary that Wayne did and even go as far as to defend Konop for his behavior as well. There’s goes the third domino!

With now THREE of the biggest crew members off the project being exposed for their offensive remarks, there was just no getting around to how much of a nightmare this whole picture has become. You HAD to pay attention to it and can no longer use the whole “separating the artist from the art” approach when it came to Spider-Man: Lotus. And if you don’t want to take my word for it, the VFX team of the project would seem to agree with you.

The VFX Team

After all the controversy surfaced online surrounding Wayne, Konop, and Salandria, the entire visual effects team for the project stepped down as they felt there was no saving it. Main artist Max Aurnhammer made a video where he addressed the controversy and his decision along with others with leaving the project. He claimed that while some of the DMs were fake, most of the remarks made were very real, leaving himself and the entire VFX team shocked and disappointed. Although he regretted leaving the film and even claimed that the team didn’t feel “mistreated” by Konop, he felt it was the right decision to leave as the film “no longer aligned with what Spider-Man represents as a character.” One more domino to fall and now the ENTIRE stack has completely COLLAPSED!

Here’s that video with Aurnhammer, where he also showed off some of the team’s work on Lotus!

Suffice to say, the production for Spider-Man: Lotus was a complete and utter disaster. From the allegations to the VFX team leaving to the sense of cynicism being the main sole reason for this project’s existence, this did not have any good press attached to it upon release. You could not ignore any of these even if you wanted to.

But, let’s just assume none of those remarks happened and this fan film was ran by good, heart felt people that just want to express their love and passion towards the character of Spider-Man and possibly take a step forward with their filmmaking career. Even if you want to look at it through those merits, I can promise you that Spider-Man: Lotus is still pretty awful and does not do a service to the character of Peter Parker whatsoever. While I won’t do a full depth review on it, here’s my thoughts.

Spider-Man: Lotus comes across as a film made by a fan with a very ill-conceived vision of what the character of Spider-Man stands for. It attempts to dive into the inner turmoil of Peter Parker and how he responds to losing those he cares about because of his duty as Spider-Man, in this case him losing Gwen Stacy in the bridge battle against the Green Goblin. Unfortunately, the film fails to deliver a compelling narrative or a reason to get behind this version of Spider-Man, with Konop mistaking dourness and pro-faced seriousness for depth and nuance.

What kills the whole picture is that Peter Parker is profoundly unlikable here, constantly lashing out as his friends and pushing them away in the hopes that will somehow ease the pain. He’s probably more angrier here than the character ever has been in any version of him with the symbiote, making for probably the most despicable version of this character on film in any form. Konop just seems to think that having Peter being moopy and depressed over his dead girlfriend is enough of a reason to care about him and make the audience want him to overcome his trauma. While that might be enough with a runtime of 30 to 45 minutes top, it simply DOES NOT work for two hours!

Things take a turn for the worse halfway through when the plot FINALLY gets underway with Peter as Spider-Man paying a visit to a terminally ill child, requesting to meet his #1 hero in person before he dies. It starts off cute until Peter gets reminded of Gwen’s death. It’s then that Peter goes from comforting a child with terminal cancer to literally TRAUMA DUMPING on the child before his death. No joke! The last memory our hero wants to give to a young kid who always looked up to him before he dies is nothing but pure bitterness and trauma! THAT IS NOT SPIDER-MAN! Even if Peter does get talked back into it and is able to comfort the kid in the end, the fact that he even chose to do that at all is simply unforgivable!

It also doesn’t help that the pacing is slower than a sloth with a broken leg and the storytelling here is basically non-existent. About every scene is way too long, with just the same repetitive scenes of characters talking about how sad they are set to loop with the same constant score playing and the same pretentious imagery throughout. There’s just no forward momentum of any kind here and the transition from scene to scene is so awkward that it at times comes across as an extended clip show than an actual film.

There are a handful of elements that do work well here such as the spot-on CGI, the comic book accurate suit, and the generally okay performances from the cast, but as a whole, Spider-Man: Lotus feels less like a love letter to Spider-Man and more of a neglect for him. Konop’s prideful and arrogant mindset is on full display here, more concerning of making his fan film so bleak, dour, and “totally not for kids” that he forgot to actually provide compelling characters and an engaging narrative to his picture. There’s a reason why people like Jon Watts are the ones in charge of making these Spider-Man movies in Hollywood and people like Gavin J. Konop are not.

If you were to compare Lotus with the other Spider-Man films made, then I would say this is easily worst than all of them, even more so than The Amazing Spider-Man 1 & 2. For as bad as those films are, there is at the very least some sort of pacing and sense of rhythm throughout and there’s enough going on in the actual movies to justify it being over two hours long. And yes, all three of Jon Watts films are far superior to whatever Lotus is. I have my issues with Homecoming and Far From Home but those at least function well as actual films and doesn’t seem like it’s going out of it’s own way pretending to be something that it’s actually not.

And if you think that it’s unfair to compare a low-budget fan film to high-budget films made in Hollywood, well you can blame Konop and the crew on that, who have made various comments and going as far to claim that this film would do Spider-Man far more justice than Marc Webb and Jon Watts ever did. Or the other toxic fanboys of other franchises that actually believe they know the series they claim to be a fan of better than the actual creators and makers of it. If you’re gonna talk the talk, then you better walk the walk or else you will get this as a result.

There is a lot you can say about Spider-Man: Lotus from what transpired both on and off camera but I think most people would agree that this is NOT what fan films should consist off. They shouldn’t be projects that are made for the sole purpose of showing certain folks “how it’s done”, they should be projects that are made to show the love, support, and passion they have for the character and franchise. While I’m sure some of that passion was shown by some of the innocent folks attached to this project, it’s overall sense of cynicism is felt throughout the entire 120 minute length with no attempt of deviating from it whatsoever.

If you take way the controversy involving the cast and crew, Spider-Man: Lotus would still serve as an example of everything that can go wrong with fan films. If you don’t take away that, then Spider-Man: Lotus serves as an example of everything that can go wrong with anything, with the extra controversy serving as a simple cherry on top of this s*itpiled sundae.

To quote Spidey himself in The Spectacular Spider-Man, “I can’t ever look the other way again!” And I believe everyone else would think the same thing in regards to Spider-Man: Lotus.

Here’s links to several different sites that go into the controversy surrounding this nightmare:

• https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/spider-man-lotus-fan-film-172150657.html

• https://www.dexerto.com/tv-movies/spider-man-lotus-controversy-explained-2241217/

• https://www.indy100.com/showbiz/spider-man-lotus-controversy-2663523534

• https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2390578-spider-man-lotus

Last June saw the release of Pixar’s newest film, Elemental. This was coming off of recent box office duds from Disney and/or Pixar that made it’s way to the big screen post-covid such as Lightyear and Strange World. With how badly those notable movies failed at the box office along with the lackluster to practically non-existence marketing campaign for this newest feature, Elemental was once again expected to make very little noise once it arrived in theaters.

With yet another Disney flick expected to be an absolute bomb, this has to bring questions to the table of how the company would handle features films going forward? Should they stop releasing these in theaters and just release them on Disney Plus? Should they release less films with lesser budgets? Should they greenlight more sequels from their more well-known franchises instead of releasing more original films? Those are the kind of questions I imagine Disney and others were asking themselves before the release of Elemental.

Elemental came out worldwide on June 16th alongside The Flash, putting itself head to head with another familiar brand that exact same weekend. Everyone was expecting an all-time low first week at the box office for Pixar and it most certainly delivered. The film went on to make just under 30 million worldwide in it’s opening weekend, finishing second behind The Flash and was only slightly under the original Toy Story from 1995 as the second lowest three-day opening weekend for a Pixar film, which if you don’t count inflation, then it would in fact be the lowest opening weekend . For a movie that was expected to be DOA, it was able to meet those expectations perfectly in it’s first three days.

There were plenty of folks that had their theories as to why Disney and Pixar movies continue to flop big time in theaters since the 2020s rolled around. Some said it’s because the mainstream audience was too accustomed to waiting for these films to come on Disney Plus rather than actual theaters as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, some have claimed in this case it had to do with the early negative reviews for Elemental that came out of Cannes when Disney premiered it as a part of that film festival along with Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (That’s a story for another day!), some thought it had to do with competition with the likes of Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and of course, there are some that thought it had to do with something something wokeness and something something brokenness. Regardless, Elemental had about as bad of an opening weekend as one could imagine.

Just like with a number of films that have come out in 2023 with underwhelming opening weekend results at the box office, Disney was probably thinking of just pulling Elemental from theaters ASAP and have it be available for digital release in about two to three weeks with a Disney Plus release slated for the next month. Shockingly enough, none of that actually happened. Instead, Disney and Pixar chose to keep it in theaters for an extended period of time and see if it can gain any short of legs. It’s a bold move but a move that not many studios have tried in 2023 after their films failed to make noise in it’s opening weekend. Disney and Pixar stuck to their guns with Elemental and believe it or not, they have been rewarded for that decision.

In it’s second weekend, Elemental yet again finished second at the box office but made a reasonable $18.4 million at just a 38% drop, which gave encouraging signs of possible strong legs. Even with projections of a solid turn around after it’s very poor opening weekend, many media outlets claimed it would be largely difficult for the film to gain enough of a profit to counter with the film’s $200 million budget, specifically from a domestic’s point of view. However, come this week, things have took the turn for the better.

At the time of writing, Elemental has made a total of $425.2 million worldwide, currently becoming a sleeper hit and easily Disney and Pixar’s most successful film in the post-covid era. The film particularly is doing well internationally, most notably in South Korea, which became the film’s third largest market. This was likely attributed to director Peter Sohn’s background of Korean culture and including elements to the story that have resonated with Korean audiences. And if Pixar’s President Jim Morris’s recent comments on the film’s remarkable comeback at the box office is any indication, Elemental will in fact make a profit for Disney, helping put the finishing touches on what has been quite an underdog story for a little film that could.

The remarkable turn around from Elemental has been quite a surprise for everyone in the movie and entertainment industry. A film that looked to be finished before it even began it’s theatrical window was able to overcome near impossible odds to at least make a steady profit despite it’s dire circumstances. There seems to have been a decent word of mouth on the film itself and I imagine that will continue once the film hits home on Disney Plus in the coming weeks or month. Not only is this film’s success a miracle in of itself, it should lead by example for studios whenever they release their own films.

It’s no secret that most studios in Hollywood nowadays tend to have very little patience with how their films perform at the box office. They constantly set themselves up for disappointment thanks to handing out ridiculously expensive budgets and clouded themselves in a very stubborn mindset that their film will make it’s money back just mere weeks after it’s released in theaters based off the name of their IP or brand alone. Even after what has gone on since 2020 involving cinema, you still have Hollywood thinking they are still in 2019, where every big movie they put out will make an easy billion at the bank just because inflation and the past success of their previously beloved properties says it will. They still believe a billion dollar grossing movie in 2023 is the norm and not the exception, which could not be any further from the truth. Because studios still haven’t figured that out by now, this has lead to early digital releases for their films in the hopes of making quick money in a flash (no pun intended) before it hits home media and/or streaming services. However, with Elemental, Disney and Pixar seems to say otherwise.

Which is why the success of Elemental should not be as surprising as it is because that was basically how films were at the box office back in the day. Sure, there was always a handful that scored big in it’s opening weekend and went on to become a grand success but most of the time, for films like these, it took a decent amount of patience from the studios after it’s initial release to allow the worth of mouth to spread which could lead to stronger legs for the films than initially anticipated. They didn’t panic when their latest film didn’t make Avengers: Endgame amount of dollars in it’s first three days, they just let things play out and were eventually rewarded for it. That’s why I wouldn’t be surprised to see Mission Impossible- Dead Reckoning Part 1 facing a similar outcome despite it’s initial underperforming box office numbers. If Paramount can just let things play out for the next month or two, I guarantee it will receive similar legs as Elemental and then the folks behind the action packed picture can celebrate for the glorious motion picture they put together.

That’s not to say that Disney and Pixar did everything right in regards to Elemental. The $200 million budget is still a ridiculous high one, especially when compared to recent animated films such as Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, The Super Mario Bros Movie, and Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, all films that cost much less and had much more impressive animation. And as for the quality of the picture itself, Elemental is a good movie overall but far from Pixar’s best and not a film I see myself rewatching compared to their very best. Also, Disney will likely never want to release a film early for Cannes Film Festival ever again unless they are 99.9% sure that the film will get a GLOWING response from the critics there! However if they and every other major studio in Hollywood can learn the right lesson here, that could lead to better results for themselves and the general moviegoing audience.

To all studios out there, the next time you release a big picture and it doesn’t set the world on fire on it’s opening weekend, give it some time. Let worth of mouth grow on the film, see how it’s projected to do in the coming weeks, and create REALISTIC expectations for yourselves as to how your feature film will fair in theaters. Don’t pull a Shazam!: Fury of the Gods or Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken and pull your films from theaters at the first sign of trouble. Show some faith in your feature film and you might find yourself surprised and even rewarded for it.

Congratulations to Elemental for it’s success and comeback at the box office! Hopefully, more films in the future will follow in your footsteps!

Other comments:

• Also, to all studios out there, PAY YOUR DAMN WRITERS AND ACTORS AND END THIS STRIKE ALREADY! A.I. IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE THE ANSWER!

Sources:

• https://www.boxofficemojo.com/title/tt15789038/

• https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/the-flash-box-office-elemental-iced-1235518215/

• https://deadline.com/2023/06/box-office-the-flash-no-hard-feelings-jennifer-lawrence-1235422274/

• http://koreabizwire.com/pixars-elemental-enjoys-popularity-in-s-korea-despite-struggles-in-the-u-s/252777

• https://variety.com/2023/film/news/pixar-elemental-box-office-rebound-1235691248/amp/

2014

Despite the success of the 2013 team, there were still holes on the roster that needed to be filled heading into the 2014 season. Shortly into the offseason, postseason legend David Freese was traded to the Angels with relief pitcher Fernando Salas in exchange for outfielders Peter Bourjos and Randal Grichuk. This was a move done to tightened up the outfield defense and leave room for top prospect Kolten Wong to take over for second base while Matt Carpenter would move back to his more comfortable position at third base. A few days later, they signed Jhonny Peralta to a four-year, 53 million dollar deal to take over for shortstop as Pete Kozma was no longer the answer. Although losing Carlos Beltran in free agency was a shame, they still had Allen Craig to take over for right field while Matt Adams would become the everyday first baseman. They also had top prospect Oscar Taveras in the system who management believed would be ready for the big leagues sometime in 2014. Throw in some short term contacts with Mark Ellis to help platoon with the rookie Wong along with Pat Neshek to add depth to the bullpen and the Cards had a complete team ready to go for 2014.

While the 2014 campaign was once again a success with St. Louis winning 90 games and the Central Division for the second straight year, they definitely had more setbacks from the prior year. The offense regressed quite a bit from 2013 with a rough first month from Jhonny Peralta, Allen Craig being a shell of his former clutch self, and rookies Kolten Wong and Oscar Taveras failing to impress with their bats, resulting with frequent benching along with demotions to the minors. However, a July trade was made that sent Allen Craig and Joe Kelly to the Red Sox for veteran pitcher John Lackey, which helped add more stability to the rotation and clear a path for rookie outfielders Taveras and Grichuk to get more consistent playing time. Despite being forced to play catch up all year, the Cards secured the division after a very strong September and set themselves up to face the Dodgers in the playoffs for the second straight season.

In Game 1 of the NLDS, the Cardinals once again had to face off against Clayton Kershaw, who was not only the Cy Young Award winner of that year but also the MVP as well. Things didn’t go so well to start as the Dodgers would tack on six runs off of an unusually shaky Adam Wainwright and led 6-2 late. Kershaw was dominated for the first six innings with his only blemish being two solo home runs prior. However, by the top of the seventh, the Cards were able to figure out Kershaw and rallied to score eight runs that inning, which would eventually lead to a 10-9 victory for game one. While the Dodgers took game two, the Cardinals would take game three at home thanks to a strong start from John Lackey and a late clutch home run from rookie Kolten Wong to give them a 2-1 series advantage. With their season on the line, the Dodgers sent Kershaw for Game 4 on short rest. Once again, he was great for six innings and once again, the Cardinals would get to him in the seventh inning, where they rallied to score three runs, off of a three-run bomb from Matt Adams. The Cardinals were able to secure a 3-2 victory, ending the Dodgers’ season for a second straight year and would head off to the NLCS for the 4th straight year.

Once again, they would face-off against the Giants. The series started off with a split in St. Louis, with Madison Bumgarner’s dominating performance leading the Giants to win Game 1 and a back-and-forth contest concluding with a walk-off homer from Kolten Wong that lead the Cardinals to win Game 2. For the next three games, while every one of those games were as tight as it could’ve been and left plenty room for both sides to achieving victory, it was the Giants that ultimately ended up with the larger benefits. San Francisco took Game 3 on a walk-off wild throw, took Game 4 after trailing earlier in the game, and then concluded the series in Game 5 with a walk-off homer from unlikely hero Travis Ishikawa to send the Giants to the World Series. It’s also worth nothing that the bottom of that 9th inning was when manager Mike Matheny made the bizarre decision to bring in previous NLCS MVP Michael Wacha, who had been dealing with injuries all year and hadn’t pitched in a game for three weeks, to keep the Cardinals season alive when just one mistake would end their season. Once again, the Giants would eliminate the Cardinals in the playoffs and once again went on to win the World Series in a seven-game thriller against the Kansas City Royals, their third title won in five years. While that lost certainly stung for St. Louis, that would unfortunately not be their biggest loss that October.

About one week after the Cardinals were knocked out of the playoffs, top prospect Oscar Taveras, who was also a hero in Game Two with his pinch hit home run to tie that ballgame, died in a car accident along with his girlfriend in his home country. A top prospect that was the highest rated in the Cardinal system since Albert Pujols and was thought to be the next great superstar in the making had unexpectedly passed away at just 22 years of age. A heartbreaking end for what was seeming like a promising uplifting future for the young man. As we are approaching the ten-year anniversary of that horrible passing, I sure hope Oscar is resting well up in heaven as we all speak.

2015

The offseason had a big stormy rain cloud above the team in the wake of Taveras’s passing. To fill that hole in the right field for the time being, the Cardinals made a stunning trade with the Braves where they acquired Jason Heyward and relief pitcher Jordan Walden in exchange for Shelby Miller and Tyrell Jenkins. They would also sign first baseman Mark Reynolds to platoon with Matt Adams, who struggled big time against left-handed pitching. While the Cardinals still had that solid core that helped them reached the playoffs the past four years, they were getting older and would end up showing their age sooner or later.

Surprisingly enough, the Cardinals had their most successful season of the past five years with 100 wins in the regular season, the most in baseball that year and the first 100-win team since the 2011 Philadelphia Phillies. They won their division for a third straight year, beating out the equally fighting Chicago Cubs and Pittsburgh Pirates. Despite dealing with injuries all year with big players such as Adam Wainwright, Matt Holliday, and Matt Adams, the depth in the farm system was still strong enough to overcome this kind of adversity, with the likes of Randal Grichuk and Stephen Piscotty stepping up for the later two mentioned.

The offense as a whole was nothing to write home about and having little to no pop with the exception of the now power hitting Matt Carpenter but it got the job done enough. However, the main reason for the success of the 2015 team was in large part due to the pitching. It finished the season with a stunning 2.94 ERA with a dominant rotation and bullpen from top to bottom. Even with the absence of Wainwright, John Lackey was able to slight into the role easily as that year’s ace with the likes of Lance Lynn, Michael Wacha, and Carlos Martinez assisting him nicely. The bullpen also was aided greatly by the ridiculous one-two punch that was Kevin Siegrist and Trevor Rosenthal. While the overall regular season record might’ve been a tad misleading and there were plenty of injuries with past players, there was still enough guys here that could make for at least one last deep postseason run with this core.

They have to go up against their longtime rival, the Chicago Cubs, in the division series, the first ever time these two teams would ever face off in the playoffs. The Cubs were coming into the series red hot, winning their last seven games of the regular season and the wild card game against the Pirates. The Cardinals were able to take game one thanks to a stellar performance from John Lackey and homers from key rookies Tommy Pham and Stephen Piscotty. Despite the Cards taking an early lead in game two, the Cubs took control of that game and eventually the whole series in the top of the second inning following a parade of blunders from the Cardinals defense which opened the door for five unanswered runs. Once the series went to Chicago, the electric Cards pitching staff that had carried the team all season long got absolutely OBLITERATED, giving up nine home runs and 14 runs total. Despite the best efforts from Stephen Piscotty and Jason Heyward, the Cardinals surrendered the NLDS to their divisional rivals, basically putting an end to this core of players and the impressive playoff runs they pulled off.

Aftermath

Despite the winning seasons and multiple playoff appearances since this five-year window, the Cardinals really haven’t come close to another World Series title since then. It’s constantly been resulted in either missing the wild card spot in the last week or just making the playoffs on the skin of their teeth only to get knocked out in the first round. The one exception to this was in 2019 where the bested the Braves in the NLDS, including the historic 10-run first inning in Game 5, only to roll over and die to the Nationals in the NLCS in a four-game sweep. Since getting eliminated by the Cubs in 2015, the Cardinals have played in 15 playoff games and lost 11 of them, including losing nine of their last ten. And with how bad 2023 has been, who knows if they will get another shot at the playoffs anytime soon?

As we get further and further away from that era of Cardinals baseball, I can’t help but look back and just constantly thinking of what if? What if they didn’t blow that 3-1 series lead to the Giants in 2012? What if they didn’t pitch to Big Papi at all in the 2013 World Series? What if Matheny didn’t got to Wacha in 2014? What if the key players managed to stay healthy in 2015 and the pitching didn’t regressed hard? As fun as that era was, I can’t help but think of how much more fondly we would be looking at that group and even this dour season if the Cardinals had just one or two more rings during that window they had? If only the could be the ones to win multiple championships instead of the Giants. It’s then they could have been seen as the best dynasty in baseball since the 90s Yankees and even more so than the Astros right now.

Regardless, I will always have fond memories of those early 2010s Cardinal teams. It was during my time in high school and always gave me something to look forward to, even during the troubled times in those four years. I just can’t help but think of how more remembered that group would have been by fans and especially the rest of the baseball world had they just got the job done one or two more times. Maybe then this awful 2023 campaign and the disappointing early playoff exits of prior years would at least be a bit more bearable. If anything, Cardinals fans would then have at least three or four World Series titles won in this century to reminiscence upon instead of two satisfying but fluky ones. As I’ve been saying throughout this entire piece, if only.

The St. Louis Cardinals have been nothing short of a disaster in 2023. For the better part of the entire season, they have massively underperformed their modest expectations headed into the season and what they have been doing for the majority of the 21st century. With less than two months left to go for the regular season and with them being way out of a playoff spot, the Redbirds are set to finish 2023 with their single worst record in several years and possibly even several decades. Instead of them chasing for a postseason appearance like they’ve been doing for just about every year since 2000, they now find themselves chasing a first round draft pick for 2024.

While most knew that the Cardinals were far from a perfect team heading into this season, they were at least expected to be the best team in an otherwise incredibly flawed NL Central division. That has not been the case whatsoever. The faults of the 2023 team can be contributed to just about everybody from top to bottom. The pitching has been absolutely dreadful, the gold glove-caliber defense of prior years have SEVERLY regressed, the hitting has been the definition of feast and famine, there seems to be no leadership or accountability from the veterans of the roster, and the prior inexperience management has completely shown their inexperience in an INCREDIBLY embarrassing matter, right down to stirring controversy in the clubhouse by public calling out their own players just for the sake of shifting the blame of the team’s poor play.

This disappointing season for St. Louis has certainly been a shock to everybody but if you’ve been following this team for the past few years, it honestly felt like this is something that was years in the making. The big flaws that have been on display for the Cardinals this year have been key flaws of most recent years such as the pitch-to-contact pitching staff, heavy reliance on defense, hot or cold offense, and management who have never coached professionally, making baffling decisions night in and night out. And that’s not even going into the big free agents signings that have not fare well whatsoever (Steven Matz, Wilson Contreras) and trading away young talent that seems to improve the moment they are forced out of St. Louis (Adolis Garcia, Randy Arozarena). It has been a non-stop parade of bad decisions and an absolute masterpiece of missteps.

All of these matters and more can be contributed to the front office of the St. Louis Cardinals, most notably President of Baseball Operations John Mozeliak and General Manger Mike Girsch. This has been a group that has constantly tried to turn a blind eye to this team’s faults over the years in the hopes that being in a bad division on a yearly basis with enough games to beat up on weak divisional opponents will be enough to keep the team stable and contend for a playoff spot. While that approach might’ve work for the past few years, it’s something that would eventually backfire as the other teams were due to get better eventually. With new rule changes and a more balanced schedule, this team and front office have been exposed butt ass naked throughout the entire 2023 season for everyone else in baseball to witness.

While many Cardinals fans, including myself, are thinking of what possible bleak future for this team lies ahead, I can’t help but constantly go back to a time in recent memory when the team was actually good. I don’t mean good in the sense that they make it over .500 and somehow is able to sneak into a wild card spot at the last second only to get bounced out rather easily in the first round. I’m talking about the era of the Cardinals where they felt like one of the best teams in all of baseball. An era where this team had heart, fight, grit, will, and a refusal to quit. An era where no one wanted to face this team come October because they know St. Louis will give everything they had at them. An era which this team always managed to make the impossible actually possible. While there are other notable eras of Cardinal baseball that fans may refer to such as the teams from 2000 to 2002 or 2004 to 2006, I’m gonna go by the squads from 2011-2015, which to this day was my favorite era of Cardinals baseball in my lifetime.

When talking about MLB teams with a enormous amount of success in the 2010s, the one team that everyone remembers from that era is the dynasty that was the San Francisco Giants, a team that was able to win three World Series titles in the span of just five years. Winning it all in the even early years of that decade in 2010, 2012, and 2014, the Giants were just winners during that time with having a handful of key core contributors to those three championships won. While not quite as successful in the early 2010s, the St. Louis Cardinals could have achieved that amount of success if things could have just gone their way.

To dive deep into this championship window, we need to go over season by season and see just how close St. Louis became to becoming that dynasty that the Giants became the further away we get away from that era.

2011

2011 was the last year that the Cardinals won it all, besting the Texas Rangers in seven games in what is still one of the greatest World Series match-ups of all time. While everyone remembers that World Series in the improbably away that the Cards achieve victory with two of the biggest hits of all time coming from David Freese, many people tend to forget the bizarre path that St. Louis took to even get into the playoffs that year.

With one month ago left to go in the regular season, the Cardinals found themselves over 10.5 games out of a potential playoff spot with the Brewers leading the division by a wide margin and the Braves leading the wild card sport by a country mile. The team’s uneven play of the year could be largely contributed to a very messy bullpen for the first half of the season along with notable key injuries to players such as Albert Pujols, Matt Holliday, David Freese, and Adam Wainwright, who would miss that entire year due to Tommy John surgery.

In order to make the postseason, the Cardinals had to get incredibly hot and play their best stretch of baseball of that season while either the Brewers and Braves would have to get incredibly cold and play their worst stretch of baseball of that season. Despite near impossible odds, that’s exactly what happened. The Cardinals were able to secure the wild card spot from the Braves on the last day of regular season, overcoming a 10.5 game deficient by finishing the regular season going 23-9 in the last 32 games. What is often seen as one of the worst collapses in baseball history with the Braves that September was also one of the greatest comebacks in baseball history with the Cardinals that September.

It’s then that St. Louis was able to ride that hot edge they gained in the last month of the season to secure their 11th World Series title in franchise history and the second in the last six years. They bested the World Series favorite Philadelphia Phillies, concluding in a phenomenal pitching duel between the late great Roy Halladay (May he remain resting in peace!) and Cardinals ace Chris Carpenter. They knocked out their divisional rivals in the Milwaukee Brewers, thanks to a stellar offense that series led by NLCS MVP David Freese and strong work from the bullpen, most notably from arms added at the trade deadline such as Marc Rzepczynski and Octavio Dotel. And of course, there were able to defeat the Texas Rangers to win the World Series in what was a very back-and-forth playoff series, most notably from a shocking Game 6 victory which saw big, timely hits from the likes of Lance Berkman and of course, David Freese after the Cards were down to their final strike not once but twice. As much has been made about the heroics of David Freese that series and the entire 2011 playoff run he had, there were also other key contributors that deserve notice.

There was of course that stellar performance that the great Albert Pujols put together in Game 3 where he went 5 for 6 with three home runs in that explosive 16-7 victory. There was Lance Berkman, who hit .423 that series with a .515 OBP, .577 SLG, and 1.093 OPS, along with being responsible for the game-tying run in the bottom of the 10th inning of Game 6 that kept the series going. There was Yadier Molina, who hit .333 that series and drove in nine runs, along with throwing out Texas’s lead off man Ian Kinsler in Games 1 and 7, which help set the tone in Game 1 and kept the Rangers from scoring more runs in the first inning in Game 7. There was Chris Carpenter, the 36-year old ace of the pitching staff who pitched every last inch of energy he had left by going over 270 total innings that year and giving three great starts that series, securing victories in Game 1 and 7. And there was also Allen Craig, the man that found himself in the middle of everything that series. He drove in the game-winning run in Game 1, drove in the go-ahead run (at the time) in Game 2, got the Cards 16-run performance in Game 3 going by scoring the first run of the game with a home run, he help the Cards get back in it in Game 6 with a solo shot when they were down to their last five outs and trailing by two runs late, and drove in the go-ahead run in Game 7 with a blast, along with taking a home run away from Rangers in the sixth inning and securing the last out of the World Series that secured victory for the Redbirds.

Needless to say, this was a squad that was just full of winners. This was a team that was able to overcoming so much adversity even when nearly all possible odds were against them the whole way through. What’s most impressive was that this was a roster that was mostly full of home grown talent that was still young and eager to win along with a handful of notable veteran leaders to help lead the pack. Even if it didn’t seem like it at the time, this core group of players did unlock the potential start of the dynasty with their stellar performances throughout the 2011 season.

2012

Despite heading to the season with a good portion of the 2011 squad still in tact, St. Louis did have some very notable losses for 2012. Just two days after the championship parade, Tony La Russa, arguably the most successful manger in the team’s history, announced his retirement after 16 seasons with the ballclub. Joining alongside him was longtime pitching coach Dave Duncan, who was also with the team for that same amount of team. Jeff Luhnow, the top-tier scout, largely responsible for drafting the 2011 team, left for Houston, which he would eventually be responsible for building the current dynasty in the making that is the Astros. And, of course, the big one, Albert Pujols, arguably the greatest right handed batter in baseball history and the man that has been the face of the franchise for over the past decade, left in free agency and would sign a 10-year, 254 million dollar contract with the Los Angeles Angels. Those notable subtractions certainly lowered the Cardinals expectations of being able to repeat as defending champions for 2012 but they did fill whatever holes they could about as good as they could have.

Brought into replace Tony La Russa and inheriting the championship-caliber squad was Mike Matheny, a longtime catcher and former Cardinal player who, despite having no prior experience as a big lead manger beforehand with only the notable contribution with coaching little league, was noted for having strong leadership skills and believed he would be a great fit with developing younger players due to his experience with coaching young kids. And filling in for Dave Duncan would be prior bullpen coach Derek Lilliquist.

When it comes to the roster itself, management was able to spend some of that money they saved up for a possible extension for Tio in a very wise way. Two weeks after Pujols became a LA Angel, the Cardinals signed veteran and playoff star Carlos Beltran to a two-year deal, a move that was basically seen as a response to Albert’s departure but one that was affordable and provide some more pop to the lineup to fill in a massive hole. There was also the team-friendly extension that St. Louis provided with catcher Yadier Molina, where the future Cardinal hall of famer agreed to a five-year extension that was worth 75 million dollars. There wasn’t much moves made aside from the ones I mentioned but the team’s overall core of contributors remained in tact and made it set for a potential second successful playoff run in a row.

Much like 2011, the 2012 season was quite uneven for a good chunk of it. Despite having a very strong April, the Cardinals found themselves regressing with back-to-back losing months in May and June, hovering around the .500 mark. Once again, injuries took a hit with key players such as Chris Carpenter and Lance Berkman being out for the majority of the year and a bullpen that was very shaky to start off the year. The Cardinals would eventually find their strive with a more consistent second half of the season which despite not being able to take the NL Central crown from the Reds, was good enough to secure the newly added second wild card spot to secure their second straight playoff appearance.

The offense was top notch from top to bottom and would be the main thing that carried the Cardinals throughout the whole season. While they could certainly be streaky, there were plenty of notable bats that deserve a mention. Despite the departure of Albert Pujols and Lance Berkman being down with injuries for the majority of the season, the free agent signing of Carlos Beltran along with the RBI machine Allen Craig was able to help pick up the slack and make their lack of presence feeling unnoticed. Matt Holliday and David Freese were able to stay much healthier this time around and provided great insurance to the lineup, with Holliday fitting comfortably in his new role of being the permanent #3 hitter and Freese following his impressive playoff performance with his first career All-star game. Rookie Matt Carpenter made for a perfect utility/pinch hitter, Jon Jay’s impressive batting average and on base percentage was more than enough to make up for his lacking throwing arm, and MVP candidate Yadier Molina for what was his finest offensive season yet, proving he was more than just a very good defensive catcher. And even with veteran shortstop Rafael Furcal being down by the end of August, the young Pete Kozma was able to fill that role perfectly for the last month, even with his notable lack of success in the minors.

While the pitching staff wasn’t quite as strong as the hitting, it still mostly got the job done once it all came together. Even with the lack of Chris Carpenter, Kyle Lohse was able to fill in the role as the ace of the rotation nicely, providing the best season of his career with 16 wins and a 2.85 ERA. Adam Wainwright, coming fresh off of Tommy John surgery, overcame a shaky first half of the season with a very strong second half, more resembling his prior self from 2009 and 2010 heading into October. All-Star Lance Lynn became a reliable addition, whether that was as a starer or as reliever, with the team leading 18 victories to show for it. The bullpen was messy at the beginning but became more reliable down the stretch with the mix of key members from the prior season’s playoff run such as Jason Motte and Mitchell Boggs, some fresh young blood in Trevor Rosenthal and Joe Kelly, and the addition from the deadline that was Edward Mujica.

Just like with last year’s team, it wasn’t necessarily a juggernaut or a guaranteed championship caliber team on paper, it was a team that could be largely affective and come up in big situations, if given the chance to do that. It had a roster of players that were still young with plenty of years in their prime left along with plenty of proven veterans and leaders that could help guide the team to another title. While they weren’t as successful as the year prior, they certainly did make for another deep playoff run.

The Cardinals play in the very first wild card game at Turner Field against the Atlanta Braves, who did not have an epic September collapse this time around. Thanks to a combination of poor and shockingly out-of-character defensive plays from Atlanta, a lack of clutch hitting from their bats, and of course, the infamous infield fly rule that took place in the bottom of the 8th inning that basically killed all the momentum the Braves might’ve had left, the Cardinals took the wild card game by a score of 6-3, ended the career of the mighty Chipper Jones and once again set themselves up for a date against the best team in baseball that year in the Washington Nationals.

The Washington Nationals had been a young team in a rebuild for some time and were making their first full playoff appearance as the Washington Nationals. It did have one odd circumstance where the team decided to shut down young phenomenon Stephen Strasburg for that series for the means of “protecting” him for the foreseeable future. The series lasted five games with yet another memorable Game 5. Down 6-0 early after the Nats hitters beat up on Adam Wainwright, the Cards were able to come all the way back to win the game 9-7, with the big blow being a miraculously four run top of the 9th inning with clutch hits from unlikely heroes such as Daniel Descalso and Pete Kozma. Once again the Cardinals found themselves in an elimination game where they were down to their last strike not once but twice and they once again were able to overcome immense pressure to tie it up and win the game. For the second straight year, the Cardinals knocked out a World Series favorite in the very first round and now had to get through the San Francisco Giants to make it back to the World Series.

Much like the Cards, the Giants were just coming fresh off a stellar comeback against their NLDS opponent in the Cincinnati Reds. After losing the first two games at home, the Giants were able to claw back and win three straight in a row on the road at Cincinnati, something which hadn’t been done with the Reds all year, to force their way to the National League Championship Series. The Cardinals were able to take control for the first five games where they lead the series three games to one and were just one win away from returning to the World Series for a second straight year, having a chance to become the first ball team to repeat as champions since the great Yankee dynasty from the late 1990s. With the amount of comebacks and the ways they’ve won in the playoffs up to this point, this just had to seem like this was St. Louis’s year again, right?! Well, not quite!

Similar to what they did against the Reds in the NLDS, the Giants were able to flip the script dramatically against their opponent for the last three games of the series. Thanks to stellar starting pitching from the likes of journeyman Barry Zito, Ryan Vogelsong, and ace Matt Cain along with poor defensive play from St. Louis, the Giants overcame a 3-1 series deficit by taking Games 5, 6, and 7, outscoring the Cardinals 20-1 in that span and returning to the World Series. The Giants would then go onto to the World Series against the Detroit Tigers and win it all in a sweep, claiming their second championship in the last three years.

As much could be said about this infamous choke job, what I make of that is just that the Cardinals basically ran out in miracles. They had plenty of them that got them through the postseason last year and had some to get through the first two rounds of this own but it simply wasn’t enough this time. They had control of their own destiny in this series and let it slip away by responding poorly to any adversity they had to face in games 5-7. Even with the tough pill that was to swallow to end the season, the 2012 Cardinals did a damn fine job overall defending their title with a still very promising future ahead of them with this core.

2013

While not much was done in the offseason other than handing out team friendly extensions to Adam Wainwright and Allen Craig along with signing the worthless Ty Wigginton, the Cardinals had a very deep farm system with big pieces for just about any position. So any potential injury that St. Louis might have to deal with can easily be patched this time around. And it would be that depth that would carry the Cards immensely throughout the entire 2013 campaign.

When it came to the pitching side, the Cardinals had to navigate around the lost of key players such as Chris Carpenter, Jason Motte, and Jaime Garcia. In response to that, the Cardinals responded heavily with their farm system and exceeded greatly. Young arms such as Shelby Miller, Joe Kelly, Carlos Martinez, Trevor Rosenthal, Kevin Siegrist, Seth Maness, and Michael Wacha, the player the Cards got as a compensation pick after Albert Pujols’s departure, were able to step into their big league roles wonderfully and help keep the Cardinals competitive throughout the whole season. The leader of that staff was no other than Adam Wainwright, who was fully healthy this time around who led the team with 19 wins and a 2.94 ERA in over 240 innings pitched. Even with losses to key players, the pitching depth had never been better and ended up being one of the biggest strengths of the team.

While the offense wasn’t as home-run heavy as years prior, it was still incredibly explosive with plenty of guys contributing big time. The biggest achievement from this group is how they were historically good with hitting with runners in scoring position, hitting over .330, the highest BA with RISP in over 50 years. It had a lineup that consists of the perfect 1-2-3 combo with Matt Carpenter, Carlos Beltran, and Matt Holliday, the perfect clean-up guy with RBI machine Allen Craig, and the perfect fifth hole hitter in Yadier Molina. There was also Matt Adams who provided plenty of pop whenever he got playing time and filled in the first base role nicely once Craig got injured in September. Even when including down offensive years from guys such as Jon Jay, Pete Kozma, and David Freese, this lineup could score runs when it matters the most.

The entire season was a three horse race in the NL Central between the Cardinals, Reds, and Pirates. The Cards were able to take the division crown by winning 97 games and positioned themselves for another deep playoff run. With the way the team was structured and put together, this was far in a way the best Cardinal team since 2004, the juggernaut that won 105 games and won the team’s first pennant in 17 years. Even with notable losses such as Chris Carpenter, Jason Motte, and Allen Craig, there was plenty of depth in the pitching and hitting front that can carry this team to another World Series championship.

The Cardinals were up against the wild-card winning and divisional rival Pirates. They didn’t make things easy on themselves as the Pirates were able to rebound from a Game 1 blowup to win the next two games. Despite being down in the series 2-1, the Cards were able to come back to win the very next two games to head to the NLCS for the third straight year, thanks to clutch homers from the likes of Matt Holliday, David Freese, and Matt Adams along with stellar pitching performances from rookie Michael Wacha and ace Adam Wainwright. The Cards were not set to advance to their third straight NLCS.

They faced the Los Angeles Dodgers in the NLCS. While the offense struggled throughout that series until it’s exploded with runs in Game 6, the pitching staff was able to keep the Dodgers bats at bay, most notably Michael Wacha who outdueled Clayton Kershaw twice, providing victories in Games 2 and 6, and went on to win the NLCS MVP, the first ever rookie to achieve that matter. The Cardinals made it back to the World Series for the second time in three years and set themselves up for a rematch of the 2004 World Series with the Boston Red Sox.

Unlike the 2004 World Series, the Cards actually competed this time around against the Red Sox. After a wild ending to Game 3 with the infamous obstruction call at home plate which basically reopened Allen Craig’s foot injury, the Cardinals took a 2-1 series lead with just two victories away from claiming their 12th World Series title. Unfortunately for St. Louis, Boston fought back from that devasting loss quite hard. After a handful of clutch hits from the likes of Johnny Gomes, David Ross, and Shave Victorino along with running into the buzzsaws that was ace Jon Lester and ESPECIALLY David Ortiz, who hit a RIDICLOULOUS .688 with a WHOPPING .790 OBP, 1.188 SLG, and 1.948 OPS that series, the Red Sox came back to win Game 4, 5, and 6, winning their third World Series in ten years. For the second time in the 21st century, the Red Sox broke the Cardinals’ heart in the World Series and took the title away from them. An unfortunate end to what was undeniably a great season overall.