With Transformers One now out in theaters, its time to rank some of the biggest and most overblown blockbuster franchises of the 21st century…..along with a couple of animated motion pictures! You should need no further introduction that that! Here’s my ranking of all eight Transformers films thus far from worst to best!
9.) Transformers: The Last Knight
If you want an example of literally everything wrong with modern cinema, look no further than the absolute monstrosity that is Transformers: The Last Knight! This is what happens when a franchise just stops caring and think releasing anything in any state is acceptable! From the godawful directing to the inconsistent frame rate to the nonexistent plot that makes the other films in the series make no sense whatsoever to the butchered characterization to the nearly unwatchable action to the bizarre virtual signaling, there is not enough words in the English language to describe this trainwreck of a feature film! This is not just the low point for the autobots, this is a low point for movies in general! You can tell Michael Bay was over this franchise even before he took the camera and as a result, ended up finishing his run with this series by saving his worst for last!
Not to mention, Unicorn being planet Earth this whole time and Bumblebee fighting the Nazi?!?! Really?!?!?! Just really?!?!?!?!
8.) Transformers: Age of Extinction
If Age of Extinction is better than The Last Knight, it’s not better by much! This bloated disaster took everything that was wrong about Bay’s first three Transformers movies and cranked them up to 11! The action is even more exhausting, the humor is even more unfunny, the characters are even more obnoxious, the product placement is even more on the nose, the effects are somehow even more blatantly unfinished and obvious, and the runtime is even more taunting than perhaps any movie that has ever existed. While this does at least feel like a complete film overall, it’s still an absolutely terrible one and easily the worst film to ever make a billion dollars at the box office.
Also, statutory rape as a plot point! I just…..what more can you say?!
7.) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The fact we now live in a timeline where this piece of crap is not even the second worst Transformers film really says a lot! At the very least, this had an excuse as to why it sucked as much as it did, most notably because this movie was rushed into production due to a writer’s strike. There is also a couple of legit good action beats here, especially the forest fight with Optimus Prime. Plus, unlike the last two films mentions, this has a proper three act structure! Just unfortunate that the script is complete garbage with a story that makes no sense with multiple plot threads that go nowhere, the typical Michael Bay humor being it’s absolute worst here, has some of the most annoying and particularly racist side characters in any film, and the Fallen himself being one of the most useless villains in any movie I’ve seen. While Revenge of the Fallen may be watchable compare to the last two films mention, it’s still pretty damn bad overall and not worth your time!
At least, it gave us Megan Fox on a motorcycle though!
6.) Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
There’s not much you can say about Rise of the Beasts other than what you come to expect from a Transformers movie at this point. With the kind of material it’s adapting in Beasts Wars and what is present onscreen, it could have made for one of the better Transformers movies rather than one that is middle-of-the-pack at best. It delivers the action, visuals, and spectacle you can come to expect from these movies and does them well to make for a fine watch but it doesn’t do enough to justify adapting the Beasts Wars and it’s plot feels frighteningly similar to that of Revenge of the Fallen, only with less crude humor and no racist stereotypes. Even with the tease at the end of a potential cross-over that could make for interesting future installments, Rise of the Beasts feels too surface value and run-of-the-mill that it’s hard to get excited about this franchise on film for the near future. And if the lackluster box office numbers have been any indication, I’m certainly not alone in thinking that. Serviceable time waster but nothing more.
It gets points for the Sonic and Tails references though!
5.) Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The third installment of the Bayverse is probably the best in terms of action, scope, and effects. The entire second half of this film delivers some of the most badass action set pieces in Transformers history with every notable character, from the human characters to the Transformers, getting to play a big part in it, with Optimus Prime being at his most badass and Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime being just awesome. Sam Witwicky even has an engaging arc this time around for a man who just wants to matter in the world and his new girlfriend, while no Megan Fox, is pretty cool in her own right and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s acting is surprisingly not terrible. It’s still held back by most of the flaws with these Bay films along with Megatron being useless for 99.99% of the runtime and containing one of the most abrupt endings in recent memory (Seriously, no end of trilogy goodbye or anything!). Even so, Dark of the Moon is the only one of the Bay sequels that I was actually able to tolerate and find a good bit of enjoyment in. This is also the one where Michael Bay most certainly should have stop at.
Also, what in the world is the title of this film suppose to mean? Dark of the Moon?! What even is that?!
4.) Transformers
If we are rating this list based off pure nostalgia, I would rank this at #1, as it’s the Transformers film I have watched the most. I’m gonna sound like a hypocrite since I spent so much of this ranking bashing Michael Bay but I gotta admit, he certainly nailed it on his first try here. I don’t think anyone could forget the experience of seeing the Transformers on the big screen for the very first time and how satisfying it felt to watch in theaters. Yes, it puts a focus on the human characters first but that felt necessary since this was the first film the autobots and deceptions were on screen so having a main human lead guiding the picture felt natural. The action is spectacularly done, with the climax of the film being an all-timer, the special effects still hold up well to this very day, the soundtrack is great, the human cast blend very well with the Transformers and even the humor is actually quite funny here (every scene with Anthony Anderson always gets me cracking). You can definitely pick apart the overly complicated plot, the overlong runtime, and the overabundance of human characters (all of which would ONLY get worse in the sequels) but for what this movie needed to get right, Transformers (2007) was able to get right pretty well on the first try that I can easily overlook any faults.
And yes, Megan Fox is hotter than the sun in this movie and I crushed on her just as hard as any teen or pre-teen did in 2007 after seeing the film for the first time!
3.) Transformers: The Movie
The 1986 animated film that is based of the famous television series is certainly more than meets the eye. While on the surface it looks to be a harmless and inoffensive movie for kids that is completely design to sell toys, it’s actually a very touching and emotional tale of loss and grief with many established characters being killed off left and right, especially the ultimate fan favorite of Optimus Prime. If that doesn’t scream “balls of steel”, then I have no idea what does. The animation is also well done for it’s time with fun action, a great voice cast and a cool soundtrack throughout. It’s also nice to see human characters have a presence in a Transformers movie but does not completely steal the spotlight from the autobots themselves. It still has most of the same trappings that most of these “toy commercial” movies do and those who aren’t familiar with the animated series will likely be lost in terms of the plot but for the longest of time, Transformers: The Movie makes for one fun nostalgic movie that was as good of a Transformers movie as you could get.
And try not to cry when Optimus Prime dies! *sheds tear*
2.) Transformers One
While it does fall short in being the Into the Spider-Verse/The Last Wish/Mutant Mayhem animated gamechanger it clearly wants to be, Transformers One still delivers the action, laughs, and heart you could possibly want from an animated Transformers movie. The origins story of the early days of the Autobots is told remarkably well with hardly any beats feeling like they are in there just because it’s an origin story, the animation is gorgeous, all the Transformers get there own moments to shine, and the overall theme of different ideologies can get the best/worst out of us all is one that surprisingly works wonderfully for a Transformers movie. Plus, unlike Transformers One, you can jump right into the story and not feel lost. It does take a while to get going and the celebrity filled voice cast, while fun, definitely doesn’t hold a candle to previous voice cast for Transformers but for those that want an animated flick with our favorite autobots that has them front and center with no human presence to wear it down, Transformers One is definitely the Transformers movie for you.
1.) Bumblebee
As much as plenty of folks have fondness for the original 1986 animated movie and will (likely) have fondness for the latest animated movie, I still believe that Bumblebee is the best Transformers film to date. After Michael Bay ended his directing run of this series with an absolute whimper, Travis Knight was able to step in and deliver a Transformers movie that puts it’s characters and emotions first and action set pieces second! The plot does hit many of the same beats as the 2007 film along with tropes seen in other “kid befriends beasts/machines” story but it’s able to work to it’s advantages by making the best use of every single one of those beats and tropes. This Transformers riff of E.T. and The Iron Giants works wonderfully because it knows what made those movies works and how the best Transformer stories with human characters work, by having the main driving force between a human being and a robot car be the beating heart in all of it. Hailee Steinfeld is perfectly casted as Charlie Watson, easily the best human character in the series, and every scene between her and Bumblebee is so wholesome and serves greatly in their development. The action in the prologue is perhaps the best bit of action in any of these movies and the rest that is presented throughout the rest of the movie is very well done. Bumblebee is full of so much heart, energy, and passion that it’s genuinely a great film no matter what way you look at it. This is one of those movies that you just wish you can give a big hug too because it’s just that sweet and charming. Because of that and more, Bumblebee is the best Transformers film to date!
Also try not to cry when Charlie says goodbye to Bumblebee at the end of the film!
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