In an age where spoiler-free trailers and marketing for movies are at an all-time high, we tend to act more suspicious when going into a movie. While many of us surely like to go into a movie without knowing any of the big twists or surprises before hand, we also like to go into a movie where we don’t feel deceived by the pre-release coverage of it. Even if that is likely to be toned down now that movie studios can potentially be sued for false advertising (Yes, that does seem to be happening! Go look it up!), there are times where it’s hard to keep our expectations in check because we don’t know exactly what movie we are going to get once we are in the theaters. Which makes it all the more refreshing when we get a movie like Cocaine Bear, where the people behind it clearly have no intended on trying to trick the audiences or catch them off guard with what movie they should expect but would rather make it’s exact bizarre premise as the major selling point of the whole thing.
I’m not sure there’s much to say about Cocaine Bear than that it’s exactly the movie that the trailers and marketing has advertised itself as. You have a group of both recognizable and unrecognizable actors trying to run for their dear lives from a CGI bear who is addicted to cocaine and is all the more violent because of it. There’s some laughs, some thrills, some intense moments, some brutal moments, and it’s all paced well in a refreshingly brief 95-minute long runtime. You can argue it’s uneven, has too many characters or subplots, and never fully committees to the two distinct tones that the movie flirts with but then again, it’s a movie about a cocaine bear. If that’s not enough to get you interested, then I don’t even know why you are still bothering reading the rest of this review.
Premise: Cocaine Bear is inspired by the true life story of the known “cocaine bear” referred to as Pablo Eskobear. After a 500-pound black bear consumes a mountain-sized amount of cocaine, she (Yes, the bear is a woman!) embarks on a drug-fueled rampage to eat or kill anyone or anything that stands in her way. Caught in the middle of a rampage is an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists, and teenagers that come together in a Georgia forest. It’s then that they all must figure out how to survive this insanely high bear before they all get eaten.
First off, let’s get this out of the way, No! None of the things that happen in this movie is real other than there once was a real alive bear that was high on cocaine at some point. There’s no way a bear would be able to survive as long as it does in this movie with that much cocaine stuck inside it for that long period of time. This shouldn’t matter unless you are an historically accurate purist but there you go.
What does matter tho is the way director Elizabeth Banks and writer Jimmy Warden are able to play with this insane idea as straight forward as you would expect along with something a bit extra sprinkled throughout. By that I mean it’s able to flirt with the notion of being an intense horror-filled thriller with the way the cocaine bear is presented with killing people and leaving plenty of gore and carnage lying around but still is able to commit to being the dark, black comedy that it is. Even if the movie perhaps goes a bit too far in trying to make you “care” for the other characters when you know at least some of them are gonna be eating anyway, there is still plenty of cocaine bear action when it counts. Even when there are instances where it might seem like the movie is losing track of what people are going to see this movie for, it always remembers to turn it’s attention to the central bear doing something funny, crazy, or brutal. It doesn’t quite reach the level of self-awareness in a way that M3GAN did, but it is nice to see Universal continuing to crank out these kind of movies that come off as fresh and a grand feeling of giving folk’s their fully money’s worth.
The cast we are presented with is a whole lot of fun. Keri Russell just seems like she’s about to fit herself greatly into that category of badass mothers in Hollywood with the way she plays her character in this movie. Alden Ehrenreich is done more justice here than Disney or Lucasfilm ever bothered to do with him as Han Solo. The back and forth rivalry between Isiah Whitlock Jr. and O’Shea Jackson Jr. makes for some of the best laughs in the entire movie. Margo Martindale is a scene stealer in every scene that she is in. And of course, the late great Ray Liotta is utilized very well here and the film dedicates his memory greatly in what tends to be one of his final performances.
However, the real star of the movie here is no other than the Cocaine Bear herself. The CGI on the bear is absolute top-notch with there not being very many moments where you won’t be able to buy the effects on it. It’s able to provide with the right amount of laughs, thrills, and tension every time the bear appears on screen.
Whether you are chuckling whenever the bear sprays itself with the cocaine, scared to death whenever it’s about to attack one of our main characters you may like, or thrilled to see it dismantled one of our main characters you hate lime from lime, there is plenty to enjoy whenever the bear is on screen. The main standout set pieces being the ambulance chase and the tree sequences as they provided the most memorable moments of the picture involving the bear.
Could there have been an extra scene or two of the bear instead of the human characters? Sure, but I highly doubt anyone seeing this movie will feel like the bear herself was sideline at all. If you are something that was underwhelmed with the amount of screen time that say Godzilla was in his recent movies, then you will certainly be more satisfied here as the movie never once forgets that this is the bear’s movie.
I can’t say for certain that this is the overall best version of Cocaine Bear we could have gotten as there are few faults that perhaps makes it just shy of an instant classic. As I said, there is perhaps a few too many times where the movie tries to make you care about the characters and their dilemmas. Some of it works well while other scenes with it will make you wish they could have cut it out and just put more scenes of the bear in action. And as much as Elizabeth Banks is clearly growing as a director and does great work here, she still doesn’t seem to be the best when it comes to finding complete tonal control from scene to scene. With the kind of movies she has made thus far, it doesn’t matter but in the future when she tackles more serious subject matter and stories, that might be something she might want to consider before considering doing those kind of movies.
Even so, as much as one can nitpick about certain things, it doesn’t change the fact that Cocaine Bear delivers exactly what the title would suggest, a CGI bear filled with cocaine wreaks havoc and kills people. I’m not sure what more could expect out a movie with this premise but it delivered exactly what I expected and even wanted out of it. If you are someone that has been burned out on Disney and Marvel movies and don’t have confidence in whatever Warner Bros is planning for their future because they keep canceling everything, then Cocaine Bear might act as a refreshing good time for you. With movies like this, M3GAN, Violent Night, Strays, it’s certainly nice to see Universal playing in it’s own sandbox of crafting unique bizarre flicks that lives exactly up to it’s title and premise. I’ll certainly take that than whatever the hell they were trying to do with their so-called monsterverse.
After a month of January movies that felt like they belonged in February and following that up with a month of February movies that felt like they belonged in January, it’s nice to see Elizabeth Banks providing the exact fun change of pace I needed to end this month on a high note. Thank you, Mrs. Banks! I certainly can’t wait to see you tackle Cocaine Paddington next!
Other Notes:
- I was just joking on that last part but I actually kinda want to see a movie where Paddington Bear is on cocaine.
- Unless it ends up like that effing Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey abomination! If that’s the case, then don’t bother!
- Speaking of which, I should get to reviewing that movie and tear it the asshole that it deserves!
- As someone that’s from around St. Louis, it’s nice to see that city get a special shoutout here.
- That scene where Alden Ehrenreich finds out the bear is a woman will likely be the funniest scene I will see in any movie this year.
- The opening credits of the movie has the mention, A Elizabeth Banks Film! What an absolute queen!
- To steal the line from Rich Eisen, I would give this movie two thumbs up but the bear has taken both thumbs off!
Adam's Blog 